The words ‘oh shit’ escaped my lips and I felt tears prickle my eyes.

One word described what I saw - carnage. Absolute carnage.

Bodies littered the courtyard in front of the school. Partial bodies at least, most of them looked like they had been vaporised and many parts were in piles of what looked like dark dust. There was what looked like blood and debris strewn across the main entrance and car park, making those places look totally different to how they had been only hours before. Cars had been up turned and parts of the main school building had crumbled into heaps on the ground in front of it. Scorch marks scarred the grass and the sky was erupting with fire and lightning above us.

I started to hyperventilate and my vision started to blur. My mind was screaming with thoughts of escape and my fight and flight system was all the way up to extreme danger levels. Putting my hands out in front of me, the concrete wall felt cool and I leant my forehead against it. The coolness momentarily helped ease the alarm that was going off in my brain so I was able to think through the cloud of horror that had rolled in like a blanket over my rational thoughts.

I turned to say something to the others but no words came.

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My stomach took charge and started to churn. I felt bile rise up and burn the back of my throat. I turned my head and vomited down the side of the box.

“Are you okay?” Roderick asked quietly, as he came over. He stood beside me and rubbed my back gently just like he used to do when I was sick when we were younger.

I nodded, still looking away from him. The nausea rose again but I managed to suppress it. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, then nonchalantly wiped it down the side of my pants without thinking. I kept rubbing the seams down the sides of my jeans, the feeling of friction under my fingertips had a strange calming effect.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again, looking at me strangely while I stood there rubbing myself.

I looked at him and stopped the motion. My hands felt hot and clammy, looking down at them they suddenly felt foreign like they belonged to someone else. The room started to spin and I stumbled. Roderick grabbed me and held me gently. Swaying, my legs felt like jelly and I had trouble standing upright. They buckled underneath me and I went to the floor with Roderick supporting me.

“I think she’s in shock.” I heard Reese say.

“I knew she shouldn’t have looked.” Roderick said angrily.

“If we’re going to get out of here, she’s going to see worse I imagine.” Reese replied gently.

Taking a deep breath in, I closed my eyes to calm my racing brain and heart. It was a technique I had learned from a therapist I had been seeing to help me cope with my feelings about Dad’s disappearance.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

I opened my eyes and felt much better.