For a moment, it was like I was floating, staring down into a deep, frigid void. A comforting orange glow washed over me, pushing back the frigid cold and loneliness that had shaken me to my core. I clawed through the darkness, desperate to reach that source of light and comfort offering a lifeline. It was so close, but so far away. Something was preventing me from reaching it.

In desperation, I flared my lumina, trying to light my way. Feeling despair and defeat sink in, I took a deep breath, and wrapped my arms around my chest, shivering in the cold.

And then, I found myself in room, surrounded by wreathes of yellow mums and white chrysanthemums, and sitting on the carpeted floor.

I looked up, my eyes falling on the urn of ashes and the framed photo of Auntie Ning, Yin Yin, and Auntie Mei, smiling at the camera. I was wearing a white hooded funeral dress, my face tear-stained and snot running down my chin.

Jin sat beside me, her face grim, and her expression unreadable. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, her eyes red and puffy from crying, and her hair was messy and frizzy. It was clear she hadn't taken care of herself in a long time.

As the rain began to drip from the sky outside, I leaned in and found myself blinking back tears.

I found myself unable to form words, my mind blank and empty. It was like I'd lost the ability to even function, let alone think.

Jin said nothing, simply staring down at the urn with a vacant, distant expression.

The monk at the front of the room droned on, his words echoing strangely in my ears. I barely even noticed when he started chanting his sutra, the sounds barely audible.

I felt numb. Numb and hollow, like someone had reached into my chest and ripped out my heart.

All I could think about was my adopted family, and how badly I'd failed them.

Jin was my mentor and the strongest Magical Girl in the city, but I knew she was struggling.

The monk continued to recite his rites, his voice droning on and on. I felt like I was at a distance, watching the entire ceremony as if from the outside looking in.

Finally, I could take it no more. I stood up and headed out of the room, too distraught to look Jin in the eyes.

My memories of the past few weeks were a blur of guilt and pain, and I found it impossible to even think about the future. All that mattered was right now, and nothing would ever change the fact that I had been responsible for the loss of multiple members of the family.

As I walked out of sight of the attendees, I broke out into a run, desperate for some semblance of normalcy.

It wasn't until I heard a gentle, familiar voice that I finally stopped.

"Hey," the voice said softly with a cold and distant tone.

I turned to see Jin standing behind me, her face unreadable.

I could tell she hadn't slept or eaten in days. Her purple eyes, normally so bright and vibrant, were dull and glassy. She looked like a ghost of herself, and the air around her crackled with barely-contained mana as she greeted me with a slight slouch.

Unlike most of her family, she didn't have raven black hair, but instead sported a head of wavy, chestnut brown locks, revealing the other half of her ancestry. She was a good head or two taller than me, and it was crushing for me to see her hunched so low.

"Hey, Jeanne," I choked, finding it difficult to even meet her gaze. She had seen me fail her and her family in the worst possible ways, and the shame of it all was almost too much to bear.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, her eyes fixed firmly on mine.

I swallowed hard, finding it difficult to answer.

Her gaze seemed to soften slightly, and she took a step forward, her hand reaching for my face. "I'm sorry."

The words were like a punch to the stomach, and I recoiled as if I'd been burned.

"S-sorry?" I stammered, my hands shaking. "What are you—"

She tilted her head to the side, her expression still distant. "You did all you could. Don't beat yourself up over it."

I froze, her words ringing in my ears as a dull sense of guilt flooded through me.

Her hand reached out, gently fixing my hair. "I mean it. We couldn't have prepared for what happened."

I glanced at her copy of the Lotus Sutra tucked underneath her arms.

Jeanne had never struck me as a religious person. She believed in a more practical approach, and the rituals and ceremonies of the Buddhist faith were mostly for her family's sake.

"Come on, I need to show you something," she said softly, pulling me towards a secluded corridor at the edge of the funeral home.

We walked in silence, the weight of the situation still heavy between us. Soon, we emerged in a garden, and she pulled me towards a small pagoda in the center of the courtyard. We stared at the statues for a long moment, neither of us able to form words.

After a moment, she began to speak melancholically.

"Upon emerging from her right side, he fell to the ground and walked seven paces without any assistance," Jeanne recited, staring at a statue of the Buddha. "He looked all around in the four cardinal directions, raised his hand, and said, ‘Only I am honored by both Heaven and Earth — for I will save all sentient beings from birth, old age, illness, and death. I, and all beings, have attained the Path.’"

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I said nothing, not sure if she was speaking to me or just speaking out loud. I was familiar with it, of course. I had studied all sorts of world religious and philosophical texts just for curiosity, at times.

She paused, her eyes glistening with tears as she looked up at the statue. "It's a verse that teaches that all sentient beings can attain Buddhahood. That means even the lowest and most despicable of creatures can be redeemed and brought back into the light."

"You've..."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Been a Buddhist. I don't know when I crossed the line, it just felt right. Funny, right?"

She sat down, resting her chin in her hands as she stared out into the garden. "It's weird, though. Sometimes I wonder if I can still do it. Save people, I mean. Especially after this."

I blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in conversation. "Save people? Jeanne you've saved people by the thousands. You... you practically taught me everything I know."

She smiled sadly, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "And yet, there are times when I wonder if it's all worth it. So many innocent people died, and we couldn't save a single one of them. Even the people who survived wish they hadn't, and now Babylon is on the move, doing god knows what."

I glanced at her, suddenly curious. "Babylon?"

She nodded, her eyes darkening slightly. "I know they were involved with the attack on the city. I can feel it in my bones. And they want to cover it up, pretend like nothing happened. It's almost like they don't care about anyone else, and that's what really gets me."

I nodded slowly, trying to comprehend what she was saying. "But... Duchess Escathos has been fighting for us for generations. She founded Babylon herself, and I don't think she'd unleash something like... like whatever that thing was on us."

She smiled bitterly, her eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm not so sure. I've heard stories. Rumors and whispers."

Before I could ask her to elaborate, she shook her head, a slight tremor running through her body. "It doesn't matter. Maybe I'm being silly. My mind's been going funny places since that day."

She turned to me, her eyes suddenly bright and alive. "Look. I know you're blaming yourself. I won't pretend that the tragedy that happened wasn't devastating, but you have to understand that we couldn't have been prepared for that."

I looked away, not quite believing what she was saying. "But I should've been stronger. I've skipped so many of my training days this year, and I..."

She reached out and grabbed my arm, forcing me to look up. "You were thinking about the crowds. About saving people. That's what Magical Girls are supposed to do, remember? We're not supposed to be infallible, and you did what you could."

Her voice grew softer, and her grip loosened. "You can't save everyone. I should've remembered that too. And I know it's hard to accept, but it's the truth. Just keep being strong. Keep working hard. That's all you can do."

I nodded, unable to disagree. "Okay, then. I won't stop."

She pulled me in for a tight hug, and I could feel her tears dripping down my back. "Hey. Sonata?"

"Y....yeah?" I muttered tiredly, suddenly wishing I was back in bed.

"I... I'm going away after this."

"What?" I gasped, pulling back to stare her in the eyes.

Her eyes were haunted, and a slow smile crept across her lips. "I think I'm done being a Magical Girl. I can't do this anymore."

"But—but you're the strongest one in the city! You're practically SS-Rank!"

She chuckled, her smile not reaching her eyes. "And now I want to be a normal working adult. I'm abdicating as the Kong family's heiress too. I'm sick of the politics."

Her expression suddenly turned fierce, and she turned, looking out over the city in the distance. "I just know there's more to life than this. There has to be. I can't bear it otherwise."

"But if you leave, Willis will be next in line, and you know he hates the family. They're grooming him to be a Magitech Soldier as is."

Her eyes glazed over, and she seemed to be staring into the distance. "That's as good of a reason as any to step down. As the heir, he wouldn't be forced to undergo that hellish process. And with me gone, that leaves my brother Lucas out of the picture as well. He doesn't have the qualities needed to become the family's new leader, and everyone knows it."

"And Carrie?"

She winced, a shadow passing over her face. "She's the only other legitimate heir to the Kong family, and she will grow to more than suited for the job. But she's so stubborn. Once she makes up her mind, it's nearly impossible to convince her otherwise. And with my departure, it might throw everything into chaos."

"I..."

She suddenly reached for my hand, grabbing it tightly. "Promise me. Promise me you won't get stuck in the same loop. That you won't let what happened change you too much."

I said nothing, not wanting to hear the words. Not now.

She continued, her voice softening slightly. "Just know that you have to keep living, no matter what. Even if it's scary. Because life is short and precious, and we don't know how long it's going to last. If I hadn't started questioning who I was and what I wanted, I wouldn't have gotten here, you know? So, yeah. Don't lose yourself. Be smart and be strong."

I nodded, not quite understanding what she was saying. "Okay. I'll try. For you."

She shook her head, a bitter smile crossing her face. "No, no. Not just trying. Doing. And not for me. Letting me fade from your mind, never to return. That's the best thing you can do for me."

She stood up abruptly, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. Then, she pulled me in for another hug, and we stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, watching the sky turn from a fiery orange to a rich crimson.

The light faded, and a chilling breeze swept through the air, rustling the leaves of the nearby bushes.

"Hey, Jeanne."

"Yes?"

"Do you still believe in magical girls? In us? I just... I need to know. After all this."

She didn't reply for a long moment, staring out into the darkness beyond. Finally, she nodded, her expression softening slightly.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Oh? Why?"

"Because we can't let the darkness take over, Nat. Not after everything we've been through. You have to keep fighting. You have to keep learning and growing, and always make sure you're ready for anything."

Her words echoed strangely in my ears, and for a second, a feeling of deja vu washed over me. Like we had had this conversation before.

She frowned, her eyes distant and far away. "I'm sorry. I just hope you'll understand some day."

"But—"

She stood up abruptly, brushing off her clothes. Flashing me a sad smile, she began to walk away.

I sat in silence as she turned and disappeared down the path, her form slowly disappearing in the distance.

It was then that I realized she had left her sutra behind, sitting alone on a bench with its pages fluttering in the breeze. It was the last time I ever saw her, and the funeral home staff found it a few weeks later, waterlogged and faded beyond repair.

The family tried to track her down, but she disappeared off the grid, never to be seen or heard from again.

I cried for hours that day, and I wondered if I'd ever see her again.

I wasn't sure how to deal with it all, but I knew I would. For her. For them.

It was the least I could do.

It was all I could do.

Alone.

I never forgot what she told me that night, and it stayed with me for years to come.

I had to keep fighting, no matter what.

Even if it was hard and lonely, I had to keep moving forward, because that was the only way to stay alive.

Because life was short, and precious, and we never knew how long we had left.

I couldn't let the darkness win.

Never.

I owed it to Jeanne, and everyone else who had fought by my side and fallen.

And most of all, I owed it to myself.

So I would fight. Fight until my dying breath, because that was the only way to stay sane.

To stay human.

No matter what.

I would find a way, even if it took me until the end of my days.

I stared up again into the void. The air was thick with the red miasma and haze that threatened to suffocate me.

I reached for the light again.

And a hand clasped onto mine.