I gently patted Sasha as I stared towards Goan Gou and Rei Ling.
Goan Gou was clearly... how should I put it? Confused. Yes, that is a good way to put it. Goan Gou was very confused.
His emotions still hadn't settled enough for him to determine who to hate and be angry towards.
Was he supposed to hate me, hate Rei Ling, hate Rei Feng, hate Sasha, hate his father or to hate himself. No matter how you looked at it, all of us played a part in his fathers death.
Sasha, because she pushed the blame onto Rei Feng, Rei Feng because he pushed the blame onto Goan Gou, Goan Tou for trying to kill Rei Feng, Rei Ling for killing Goan Tou, all in order to appease me.
Now that I think about, this was almost entirely my fault, but I didn't even get to put a few words in before everything derailed into the shit storm that it was.
Sasha, just like Goan Gou, was also quite confused. Even though she lived a terrible life, filled with humiliation and pain, she had never caused anyone else to filled with pain.
She most likely kept comparing herself to her biological grand father. I just hope this trauma didn't effect her too badly.
I sighed as I caressed my forehead with my free hand.
I didn't really know what to do, other than wait for Rei Ling and Goan Gou to finish their discussion, but who knew how long that could take.
Nonetheless, I solemnly looked up into the sky, which was quite beautiful on this particular day, at least in this region.
I thought about Zoras and his near infinite power, and I wondered if this was how he was treated up in whatever realm he was right now?
Did he also have to watch people kill each other out of fear of offending him? Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. I wouldn't know how powerful the people he hanged around was, so there was no point in contemplating if Zoras felt like I did right now.
If he felt like utter shit.
If only I wasn't so shocked and flabbergasted, I could have made them stop fighting. I would have been able to stop everyone from having to feel so much pain and suffering.
But of course I couldn't, since I just stood there like a retarded seal, watching them fight to the death.
All because of my inability to act, I may or may not have given Sasha a trauma, caused a civil war between a sect, and made a young teenager lose his father.
I may have also fucked up my mental state. This is similar to the time I was depressed over Sasha beings leagues ahead of me in everything.
Now I was going to be mentally screwed because I realise exactly what I am capable of.
What if, even this Monster Lord Gill also causes some civil war level actions because of trying to appease me. If that happened, it would me more than just one father who died.
I was scared at my inability to manage what I was. I had such a grand quest ahead of me, and I was already faltering once again.
Was I really the right person to do a quest for an at least multi-billion year old god? I, a normal human?
I mean, I still don't understand why exactly I was chosen. It was such a retarded reason.
I didn't even die and reincarnate, I was just, 'picked'. Like when you go to a pet store, and pick a cute little puppy or cat.
Maybe that is what I was to Zoras, a cute little pet, that he unleashed in his little play ground to watch me.
I... the more I thought, the more sad and depressed I was becoming. So I decided to think positive thoughts... which I couldn't do because of Goan Gou and Rei Ling.
I had literally caused a man to die. I've never even been in a proper fight before, and I caused a man to die! This pain I was feeling, this nausea. I felt disgusting. This isn't what I wanted.
I don't even know what I want any more.
Would I cause even more deaths in the future? Who knows how many more would die because of me? Would I care about every person who died?
Or would I slowly grow numb... Would I grow so numb that a single death no longer mattered to me. Would I become like a politician or a monarch, where death didn't mean much any more.
I didn't know. I didn't want to know. Not at this point in time at least.
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
I sighed again, before I slowly got up, gently placing Sasha on the ground. Looking towards Goan Gou, I walked towards him, which caused Rei Ling and Goan Gou to both get up, and bow towards me.
Goan Gou did it begrudgingly, but Rei Ling seemed sincere.
I sighed as I motioned for them to rise.
Zev: “I've been watching you two try to come to a compromise, but from what I can see” I gestured to the both of them “You two will not be able to do so” and with that, they both looked downcast. I sighed once more “The grievances caused between you can be traced back to me, and with what has happened so far, I can only offer both of you my protection no matter what you do” and like that, I finally relaxed.
I had offered them both my protection, which meant nothing since I had no power to protect them with, not to actually protect them but to relieve my consciousness of the guilt.
I had offered protection even though I did not have the means to deliver it. Well, I guess I could bullshit with any of the low level sects around here, but honestly, I had traded away my guilt for fear.
Fear of running into new situations that would end up like this, but at least I got rid of the guilt I built up because of Sasha and I's actions.
No matter what Zoras claims I am, in the end, I'm still human and humans feel emotions. Guilt being a terrible mixture of one.
Goan Gou and Rei Ling's eyes lit up as they stared at me, first in confusion and then in shock.
It seems like they were not expecting me to aid them in their dark hour. Well, if it was any other situation which didn't involve me, I most likely would not have.
Maybe in time I'll slowly grow numb to such events. No matter how many times I thought of such a thing, it was still terrifying.
I guess the term 'power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely' is actually true. Even though right now I'm powerless, the feeling of power I have when people feel fear from my presence, it quite honestly, addicting in a sense.
Right now I'm still human and my morals still hold, but the future was an open book and my actions will fill it up whether they were good or bad.
Philosophy is a bitch.
Nonetheless, I nodded towards the two before turning around to head back towards Sasha, who had just gotten up.
Goan Gou: From behind I heard a cough followed by a teenage voice “I want to hate you, but I can't bring myself to do it, since you never did anything from start to finish, but I can't thank you for this favour either” hearing his determination was quite uplifting “All I can say is, in the future, I will repay you for all that have you given me” and with that he went quiet.
I smiled slightly as I thought about the boys words. Even though they sounded like a threat, they were far from it.
Rei Ling: Shortly after Goan Gou finished speaking, Rei Ling began “Thank you for your benevolence” was all he said before he began to once more talk with Goan Gou.
As I walked away, I couldn't help but wonder how different today might have turned out if I had simply spoken out instead of being dumbstruck.
Well, at least Sasha and I grew as people, and I'm sure I changed the destiny of this little Tzun Rei Sect as well.
----
Hello comrades, how are you all? I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
I was planning on releasing this earlier, but I wanted to fix the chapters up and smoothly link them to one another. So I ended up writing 6 chapters, which are now sitting in a folder.
So Merry Christmas in March, enjoy 6 days on non-stop release.
Also, the next arc will probably begin around chapter 20ish. So do watch out for the new PLOT! Also, I'll add a Sasha Interlude after Chapter 20.
Love and Peace,
-Old Man
P.S. Also, please do rate the novel if you have the time, whether it is positive or negative, all the ratings and reviews matter to me.
P.P.S I'm leaving now.
P.P.P.S I'm gone.
P.P.P.P.S I love you guys.