Tales Of The Floridiot's
How I Spent My Winter Vacation
Part One:
Escaping Alcatraz
AIDEN:
Hello, there reader, This is how I spent December 2022 Part one…
Now, here's the story of how I and my family had to escape the Murphmax prison AKA Alcatraz!
Then we went back to Washington for a short family visit/vacation.
Enjoy!?
…
(I zone out as I stare at the metal wall.)
(I think about how I started my day at a mall in Florida and now I’m in famous prison in California)
(Some suit-wearing guard walks up and opens the glass door of my cell.)
GUARD:
Come on Floridiot questioning time.
(He walks me to a different room.)
SOME OLD DUDE:
Hello, please sit.
AIDEN:
WHOM THE F*** ARE YOU?
DR. ZAK:
DOCTOR ZACHARY PILLAH.
The lead scientist of the Murphy conservation act.
I keep dangerous things created by the Murphy radiation here for the MIB.
AIDEN:
Not those idiots again!
First my old High School now this!?
DR. ZAK:
So tell me how you came across your katana?
AIDEN:
It was a gift from my dad who used it for years. He got it from some old dude.
DR.ZAK:
And I heard you have abilities?
AIDEN:
I’m really hard to kill and even if you did kill me I’d come back to life.
DR. ZAK:
And you are the leader of the group known as the Floridiots?
AIDEN:
MHM.
DR. ZAK:
You may leave now.
GUARD:
(Walks up behind me.)
AIDEN:
(The guard leads me past Kirra who is in a prison cell.)
I love when the plot goes well for me!
GUARD:
What the heck are you talking about?
AIDEN:
(I turn around and knock out the heavily armored dude.)
OWWWWWWW! My hand!
KIRRA:
I see you haven’t lost your non-thinking ability.
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
AIDEN:
Mhm still paying with pain
Okay, Kirra get back to the wall.
KIRRA:
You better not get glass all over me.
AIDEN:
No promises!
(I run and jump right into the glass wall holding her in her cell.)
(I then slowly slide down the unaffected glass.)
KIRRA:
Pfffff!
AIDEN:
FINE!
(Grabs a fire axe.)
(Smashes through the glass wall.)
Okay let’s find everyone.
KIRRA:
They are in the inside courtyard!
AIDEN:
Why do I never get to have all the answerers?
KIRRA:
(Does her evil smile.)
…
(Ten minutes later.)
MAX:
Great, you're here!
AIDEN:
Yep, here have an axe till you get yours back.
(Throws the fire axe to Max.)
MAX:
(Nearly drops it on his foot.)
JESSE:
I don’t know your plan boss and that is unacceptable so tell me.
CARL:
I am here!!
(Throws a Guard halfway across the room.)
AIDEN:
Hi?
Wait…
Chris?
CHRIS:
What’s up twiz?
KIRRA:
I’m guessing you know this random boi?
AIDEN:
He led the side of Ohio in the GREAT OHIO VS FLORIDA WAR!
How are you Chris?
CHRIS:
They erased my internet history!
Now I’ll have to rebuild all Yeat playlists!
JESSE:
WHAT’S THE PLAN AIDEN?!!?
AIDEN:
We fight our way out then steal a boat and leave.
CHRIS:
Okay. Ready twizy?
CARL:
YESSSSS.
CHRIS:
(Picks up Carl then throws him at a MIB dude who was running at us.)
CARL:
DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!
AIDEN:
(Puts my hand on Chris’s shoulder.)
For today and today only you are a Floridiot!
CHRIS:
Nice.
(At that point suddenly MIB dudes started showing up from everywhere.)
AIDEN:
I could use my katana right now!
KIRRA:
(Snaps her fingers and then my katana hits my head before hitting the ground.)
AIDEN:
(Picks up the katana before running into the heat of the battle!)
YEET!
(As we fight our way through the halls we run into many of the random people we have met over the years.)
THE COWBOY:
How’d you be doin?
(He says as he shoots some MIB dudes with his laser six shot.)
AIDEN:
Not bad working on a Youtube channel.
THE COWBOY:
Cool cool. I’m a astronaut now.
AIDEN:
Ah! Working with your rich neighbor?
THE COWBOY:
Yes’sir.
KIRRA:
Hi again!
(She says as running past us.)
AIDEN:
We should get back to escaping.
THE COWBOY:
Probably.
AIDEN:
(Kicks open the double doors to the outside as RPGs fly past us)
Dr. ZAK:
You can't leave!
AIDEN:
(I put my arm around his shoulder.)
You see Doc. No one likes you. Max.
(I Take some steps away from the almost-crying doctor.)
MAX:
(End the strange psychiatrist on the spot where he stands.)
AIDEN:
Now what?
MAX:
WE LEAVE!
AIDEN:
Well yeah but after that I’m kinda bored.
KIRRA:
Come back to my place for a vacation. It’ll be like old times!
MAX AND AIDEN:
OKAY!
CHRIS:
Cya at school twiz.
AIDEN:
WHAT?
CHRIS:
Yeah, I moved to Naples Florida to be a part of the winning team.
MAX:
Good choice.
CHRIS:
(Nods.)
AIDEN:
Cool.
Till next time Cowboy!
THE COWBOY:
(Tips his hat as Me, Max, Kirra, and the Boys go our separate ways for that day's teammates.)
AIDEN:
That was a good team…