Chapter 2

-Wake Up-

There was a time I felt truly fortunate.

_______________________________________________________It is a nice feeling slowly waking up to the soothing sound of a pot being stirred and a fireplace gently burning wood to cinder. The smell of herbs lingers in the air which strangely enough makes me feel somehow nostalgic. A thick blanket covers my body keeping me warm. It has the characteristic smell of dogs which reminds me of our late dog Lucky. It soothes me somehow as I have but fond memories of her. The cold wind picks up with a howl and the house creaks in turn. Something shifts by my side and startled I rise up with a scream.

A cat swiftly runs to hide behind an old shelf having earlier lied cosy by my side.  An old woman looks at me with a surprised face having earlier been the cause of the stirring pot sounds by a hearth fire. Her layered dark clothes seem old and torn which gives her a characteristic look of a witch which I have but heard about in tall tales from my childhood. White thin hair passes down over her shoulders but by no means does she look ugly as witches often are depicted. Instead she has a gentle look about her that invites trust. Then a sudden realisation hits me that I have no idea where I am. Catching myself staring at her I focus my sight elsewhere. Her home seems to be a small one roomed rural house full of herbs hanging from the ceiling along with a dead rabbit near the hearth. There is a bookcase in the far end filled with old leather bound books. It seems that I currently occupy the only bed in this house but it is far too big for one person. Upon me lay the blanket which had reminded me of Lucky. Upon further inspection it seems to be a fur, perhaps from a wolf. Upon calming down I realize that my body is throbbing in pain as if I have strained all my muscles.

“You are finally awake child.” The woman say which forces me to focus on her rather than exploring her abode with my eyes.

“Where am I, where is Chris?” I plead to the old woman but my throat is very sore as if I have caught a severe cold. She smiles at me as she fills up a wooden bowl with whatever she had prepared earlier in that pot.

“Hush now child, drink this.” She firmly but gentle forces down the concoction down my throat and surprisingly enough, it immediately alleviates the pain in my throat. The taste however leaves much to be desired. She then pats my head gently which leaves me stupefied. “It was quite some time since I saw a lass like you so devoted to the old ways. I’m Elain, what is your name?” She asks with a smile that seem to never change but I am left even more confused now than ever.

“No wait what? What did you call me and what do you mean by the old ways?”

The old woman looks at me rather perplexed. “I found you naked by the shrine of Flidae which is customary as per the olden days. Although uncommon so during the winter. Clearly it must’ve been important.” She shakes her head with closed eyes, smirking as if reminiscing something. “Rarely ever do I see a young girl such as yourself offer herself so earnestly to the goddess of the woodland and fertility.” Her eyes turn serious as she looks at me straight into my eyes. Her eyes glimmer with a shifting hint of green turning red, coloured by the fire in the hearth. “But you were on the brink of death when I found you. I feared for your life so I had you brought here and I have nursed you since. Perhaps I was wrong in doing so?”

My mind goes blank as I try to assimilate all the new information. Flidae, I have never heard of a goddess named like that before. However, even more importantly, I was found naked during the winter and she calls me girl? Quickly looking down I notice an unfamiliar dress made in a rough fabric very much like the old woman’s clothes donning my body. Violently pulling forth the dress I am met by two small mounds having taken form on my chest. Gasping at the sight I then quickly cover myself. This is crazy, I have no idea what the hell is going on right now. Noted that I may have looked rather feminine before but this is definitely taking it to the next level. What kind of sick joke is this? Nausea grabs a hold of me and I beg this Elain for some water. She chuckles in a characteristic old woman way as she prepares a cup. “No worries child, were it breasts you were praying for then they’ll come with age.” Must have taken my earlier action as some kind of strange wish to have my new breasts grow larger. She keeps chuckling which I find rather frustrating given the circumstances. A cup of water is handed to me which I greedily gulp down. Elain though, simply watches me in a strangely fascinated manner leaving me slightly uncomfortable. She does seem to be kind enough and if what she said is true then she truly is my benefactor. Can I perhaps trust her, for now?

“I’m Rhia, a pleasure meeting you Ms Elain.” Forcing a smile, I had decided to use my mother’s name. Why not use her name as people claim I have inherited her looks anyhow, probably even more so now that I just may be a girl? It is a tad odd now thinking about it but I decided against going for my crush’s name Chloe for obvious reasons. Well choosing a name from a girl I know just feel wrong. Choosing mothers name however did feel right somehow since I never have had any lingering attachment to my mother. Thus I decided to give her the honours this time as that name carries no meaning to me. Jokes on me though as it feels as if I just keep getting closer to her. Should have chosen an original name now thinking about it but knowing me it would have taken too long for me to decide upon a suitable name. This whole situation gives me a headache but I will play along for now.

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Elain however looks at me far too many seconds to feel comfortable. Then I notice subtly that her eyes begin to moisten as tears form. “I dared not believe.” She says as she grabs a hold of me, hugging me tightly. “My dear Rhia, you are back!” She hugs me so tightly that I have a hard time breathing. Tapping her shoulder, I try free myself from her grip. Confusion and even more so nausea does nothing to aid me with the given situation as I am about to puke. However, Elain lets go of me moments before an accident happen. “Oh forgive me child, I did not mean to. I know you cannot be her as she disappeared a great many years ago so please forgive this old woman’s relapse.”

Her smile and moist cheeks due to her crying forces my hand. “It is quite alright.” I told her as I blame my luck.

“It is just; you remind me of her. Heck you look practically the same as her.” She wipes a tear from her eye looking at me with an almost dazed look. Considering her state, she might just stare at me for hours without end. There are however far too many questions though that I want to ask.

“Where am I?” I ask as that seem to be the first and foremost viable question.

As if being dispelled from her thoughts she closes her eyes with a nod. “I live close by the shrine I found you at.”

“No I mean, where am I really? I have no recollection of ever visiting a shrine. The last thing I remember is being at the range with my brother Chris.” Elain listens with intent nodding, urging me to continue. “We came upon a hog but instead.” My voice breaks as I barely control my vivid emotions. There simply is far too much to handle at once. “Instead there lay a creature so pure. White as if it was made of snow. I did not mean to kill it.” I plead as my mind recalls the event, the very same terror struck me there as when that creature had risen again. Trembling in fear I break out in a sob. Elain once again forces me into a hug.

She gently pats my head as I cry into her shoulder very much like I had upon my brother’s. “Hush now child, you did not kill it for you cannot kill a goddess. I know, it was Flidae you saw.”

Pulling back in confusion I am met by her kind eyes yet filled with zeal. Not truly letting me go, she forces me into a hug again. “You are blessed child and so am I, Flidae has seen it fit to return my long lost daughter.”

Not quite strong enough to refute I return her hug and we both cry into each other’s shoulders for god knows how long.

There it was. It is made out of simple stone in the likeness of a doe very much like the one I had shot that fateful day. It feels rather underwhelming seeing it so close. Nature had taken its toll over the years. Overgrown with vines and damaged by weather makes one wonder if anyone ever cared for this shrine at all. Cold frost permeates the whole shrine grounds forcing all living into dormancy. Strangely enough, there it is, a small entry hole where my bullet should have entered. Intrigued I poke inside but I am immediately met with a cold sensation of ice. Honestly, I have no idea what I expected to find. Elain had ill advised me not to go to the shrine so early on as I was still very weak but I decided against it. However, now upon seeing it so close I am forced to ask myself for what reason did I want to come here? What were I hoping to find?

Elain had decided that I indeed am her long lost daughter and had begun treating me as such. Doting on me, not leaving me out of sight and I dare not refute her. She boldly claims that my previous memories are probably a manifestation in the dream world. Something Flidae had created upon spiriting me away so many years ago. Yet even if that were the case then that world feels more real than this one. Honestly, I am not even sure if she is listening at all when I try to explain who I am and where I am from. However, she advises me against telling other people those tales as I would be branded a witch and quite possibly be burned at the stakes. The thought frightens me and what century is this? It seems as if there is nothing to gain from telling people about my past but I will not let go of who I am. Although it begs me to consider what I should do next. Can I return back home to my brother and father? The cold stone doe stare blindly at me in a way that tells me it holds no power whatsoever. Am I truly lost here?

First things first. The thought of looking myself in the mirror stirs more fear in me than the thought of facing Flidae again. It will require a great deal of courage but I step toward a nearby frozen pond. There she was looking back at me, the spitting image of my own mother reflected in the ice. The very same as the one I had seen so many times before in the picture back home albeit younger. Defeated, I fall down on my knees to cry again. Pathetic, I tell myself as I cannot stop myself from crying. At least Elain had decided against hugging me tightly this time which was a blessing in itself.

The cold ground seeps my warmth as I stare blindly at my own reflection. Having cried my eyes out there were no more tears to be had. A hand gently pats my shoulder telling me that it is time. Not knowing how long it has been I rise and we make our way back to her home. Her arms holding me close.