Chapter I
-Beginning-
My father once told me that “A person's worth can be summarized by his accomplishments.”
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“Wake up dimwit! I didn’t raise you to be a lazy good for nothing. Get moving or we’ll be late!” A voice beckons, a voice belonging to my father. He pulls up the window blinds and light cruelly invades my sanctuary.
My eyes burn as I try to cover myself from the imminent terror that is light and with a groan I answer. “I’m up. “
“Good, now hurry up and get dressed, breakfast is served.” My father finally leaves but only after the destruction of my sanctuary.
He usually leaves me alone but today is a special day. My brother is coming home and he is quite something. Even my teachers’ at school occasionally ask me how he is doing even though it has been years since he graduated. Brother got drafted into military service after graduation and is now somehow stuck there. However, he occasionally manages to find some time to return home which pleases father. I on the other hand, well I cannot say I am bad by all means but I pale in his comparison. Although I am quite jealous yes but I do not hate my brother. It is more of a sibling rivalry kind of way but I do love him heck how could I not.
Finally clothed I tiredly make my way down the stairs to the kitchen where my father goes through his morning routine. Engrossed reading the morning paper, a cup of steaming hot black coffee along with a bowl of weird healthy grain he has taken a liking to. Figures, he calmly sits in his morning garb whilst advocating haste. A quick glance towards the kitchen clock further proving that we are definitely not in a hurry. The scent of bacon lingers in the air so he seems to be in a good mood today. Of course he would be but the bacon is indeed a welcoming surprise.
“No school today?” He asks me whilst I procure a plate of bacon along with some fried eggs and potatoes.
“Yes father, you did call school yesterday telling them I was sick.” He tends to do stunts like this when it regards my brother. “It’s not like I need to come with you to meet him you know?”
Father answers with a simple humming sound as proof of his disinterest as he probably did not care for an answer. Thusly with nothing else to say to each other we wrap up our morning routine and make our way to the train station where we will meet him.
My brother finally emerges from the train looking the part of a victorious son returning from a glorious war. His brown hair neatly combed and his spotless uniform furthering the ideal of perfection. It is almost like a scene from a movie, even the morning sun aid him with the touching scene. To my great amusement, brother breaks character spoiling the scene as he happily waves at us. After obligatory hugging and a short exchange of words we make our way to father’s car which he had parked nearby.
“Man I’ve missed you guys. Liam!” My brother exclaims. “How did it go with the girl you mentioned last time?” He cuts straight to the chase as if he had not been gone for these past couple of months. This girl he speaks of is a classmate of mine whom I have a crush on for quite some time now. Her name is Chloe and I may have fantasized about us getting together more than a couple of times now.
“Poorly, he’s not brought home any girls as of yet.” My father answers in my stead with a slight mocking chuckle.
“How’d you know who and what I bring home?” I recoil with a sneer.
“Well for starters, you’ve hardly left the house at all. Were it not for school then I fear you’d not leave your room at all. That is apart from the occasional scavenging of the kitchen, scrounging for food.”
“I’ll take him out tonight then!” Brother exclaims giving me a teasing pat on my back to which I simply answer with a shrug. As much as I hate to admit it, it is true what father claims.
“Chris, how long will you be in town this time?” I ask him already wondering when this meddling will end.
“I’ll be around until the end of the weekend.” Chris smirks patting my back even harder.
“You’ll not get rid of me just yet brother. I’ll make sure to stick around enough to annoy the hell out of you.” His wicked grin hint at his intentions.
On our way home Chris tells us tall tales of what he has been going through, the rough training and what I would label as mentally insane superiors. The stories seem to be very much like those he told us last time but perhaps further embellished. Why would anyone willingly return to such a place? Yet Chris always does so with a smile. Regardless, father and I listen with keen interest until we reach our destination, home.
Life has, with Chris’ return been brought back to this usually desolate place. Father prepares with a merry tone something in the kitchen as Chris and I gather in the living room. Chris carelessly throws himself on the sofa and lets out a large yawn as he stretches himself. He throws a glance at a picture adorning the wall. It is an old photo in black and white of a woman alongside a man. They are dressed up and look happy together. It is a picture of what would be my mother and father some long time ago. To my great dismay, I somehow inherited her ‘cute’ feminine looks whilst my brother got more of my father’s charm. Mother apparently departed from life when I was young and we do not speak much about her. Sometimes I do wonder what Chris sees in her but perhaps I am fortunate that I have no memory of her.
Father did from time to time try to bring home a new woman and conveniently, this picture of mother would be relocated elsewhere. Chris and I would always be very happy for father as he could at times be rather overbearing when he started to feel lonely. These women however, always madly in love and eager to form a new life together with father would never stay for long. Regardless of previous intent, the news of a breakup would always surface at one point and this picture of mother would once again find its way to adorn the wall. Their happy smiles once again proof of a time where things were much simpler.
“But one year left Liam and you’ll be drafted as well.” Chris states with a satisfied smirk. He is clearly eager, wishing for that day to arrive sooner. “Don’t worry; I’ll make sure you’ll join us and we’ll bring you up to speed in no time. Heck, why not go out and practice a little bit?” He would always make this suggestion claiming it is for my own good. ‘Get combat trained he says, it’ll be fun he says’. All we do is shoot at practice targets at the nearby range with one of father’s hunting rifles followed by Chris beating me up in personal combat.
Knowing him, he will not take no for an answer thus I answer with a forced smile “Sure. Let’s do that, it’ll be great.”
Father enters with snacks along with hot coffee for Chris and him and a cup of juice for me. “I thought that maybe we could invite a couple of people over to a barbeque tomorrow evening. Your Uncle Rob would surely come over, even if not asked.” Father chuckles as he grabs himself a bite of a store bought sponge cake. “You could invite your friends over, how does that sound?” He is definitely in high spirits.
The familiar sensation of recoil strikes against my shoulder.
“Not bad, but not quite there yet.” Chris teasingly lets out. “Have you been practicing at all?”
“Hardly.” The summer sun stands high and sweat had begun to dribble into my eyes making it hard for me to focus. Having loaded another round into the breech I pull forth the bolt and take aim against the target again. My breathing in control as I take a deep breath and slowly breathe out.
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Chris, with a pair of binoculars keep careful note of where I hit the target. He is quick to give remarks on each and every one of my shots. “Liam, you must learn to not close your eyes moments before firing. Trust me on this, it could be a matter of life and death.” Chris pauses for effect as proof of the importance of this matter. With a simple sigh I answer him as this is not the first time he has told me such. “Make sure to keep your eyes peeled at all times and always be aware of your surroundings. There could be someone out in the woods picking berries or whatever. Now take your time, keep your eyes peeled and fire.”
“Got it, keeping my eyes peeled sir.” I flippantly answer and carefully aim my next shot. However, my eyes sting by the invading salty dribbles of sweat forcing me to wipe my eyes. “Seriously, can we take a break?”
“Certainly private.” Chris says with a smirk. “Put the safety on and drink some water.”
“Thanks.”
The water we brought with us is greedily gulped down and some showered over my head. With a sigh I lie down on a blanket we had prepared earlier and cover my eyes for a bit. The sun is boiling hot and it feels almost like my body is unfamiliar with something as common as sunlight. It is warm but I am definitely glad that I missed class today. Boiling out here is definitely better than in a classroom listening to some boring lecture. Chris joins me on the blanket as he looks over father’s rifle. He seems almost unaffected by the sun in fact, it is as if he enjoys it.
“How come you are so tough?” I accidently let out but he snickers and answers me with one word.
“Practice.”
Chris’ voice abruptly brings me back to the world.
“Liam! Liam!” His voice is hushed yet very excited.
“Chris? What is wrong?”
“Quiet down, scuttle over and look over there.” Chris beckons me over and I crawl over to his side. Drowsiness blurring my senses as my eyes scours the area. It did not take too long however until I notice what Chris is so excited about. It would seem a hog had decided it to be a good idea to wander around the premises of our targeting range.
“It seems you’ll get your first kill today. What are you waiting for Liam, grab your rifle!”
“What? No?” I voice my reluctance.
“Liam, you can make this shot, it is not that far away.”
“No I don’t want to!” I know already that there is no use to argue with my brother but I cannot help but feel that this is wrong. Something definitely tells me this is wrong. There should be no reason to kill it.
“Liam!”
My feelings about actually killing something does not seem to matter to him. This is what we are actually practicing for, killing is what people do. It is what we do to survive. More importantly, I do not want to disappoint him, not him. My mind chants this to spur my own courage. Slowly rationalising killing this poor creature. Grabbing my father’s rifle, I take aim. ‘It’ll be over soon’ I tell myself. ‘It’ll be over soon.’
Chris gives me an estimate of the range; a tad short 300 meters he says. Not an impossible shot but my breath is uneven, my body feels rather stiff and everything is a mess. My heart beats hard against my chest but I must do what is required of me. The recoil slams hard against my shoulder as a bullet leaves the muzzle. A punishment for not holding the rifle properly leaving my shoulder hurting. It is as if all my practice until this moment were for naught. It is as if things have ended before we even got started but perhaps it was for the best. Now there is no need to kill as the creature will swiftly run away unscathed due to my failure.
Feeling somehow relieved I lay my head down on the gravel but my brother’s voice tells of another tale forcing me to return to my senses once again. The hog is on a crazed run seemingly wounded from my first shot. We are now committed. Quickly reloaded my rifle I fire once again but this time the shot was a definite miss. Splinters shooting in great many directions from where a tree had been struck. Chris yells at me to fire again but my rifle jams as a consequence of my now stressed state. Having failed to reload my rifle properly I take a deep breath and methodically restart the process that I have done so many times before.
With a new round I take aim once more feeling a lot calmer now that the initial rush is gone. The hog is almost out of sight yet I feel calm. It is a strange soothing feeling enveloping my senses. It is as if I am almost detached from this whole ordeal. Brother’s shouts slowly drowned out by my own steady breathing and the sound of gravel mowing under me. The hog runs for its life far in the distant woods, slowly eluding me but it does not matter. There is nothing and with that certainty I finally pull the trigger. The hog is out of sight but nothing matters as there is but that certainty.
Chris hits my back and his voice breaks the mind numbing silence. “Why did you fire, are you stupid? Never fire blindly into the woods!”
With a shake of my head I reply. “Chris, I got it.”
The carcass simply lay on the ground with its eyes looking straight at me, judging me for what I have done.
“Well I did not expect this Liam. Congratulations on your first kill but you got lucky.” Chris voice astonished yet approving. Down by his feat lay a doe, white as the purest snow now soiled by the dark red blood where the bullet had entered. It is gruesome, something so pure lay dead on the ground and it is by my doing. It feels sacrilegious. Strangely, the hog is nowhere in sight. It is as if it had never existed. Instead lay a doe dead by my brother’s feet. Was I somehow more inclined killing that poor hog? Would I have felt the same now were it a hog on the ground instead of this doe? This feels wrong somehow as nausea strikes me.
“Well we have to bring this back. Now we’ll have something for the barbeque tomorrow.” Chris muses as he begins dragging the doe by the head towards the targeting range.
My body grow cold as I begin to profusely sweat. Anxiety and fear grabbing hold of my senses. The eyes of the doe flickered for a moment and is now definitely looking straight at me. The doe begins to violently struggle as if in pain letting out grotesque sounds. Chris startled drops the doe and with a chuckle tries to explain that animals do this from time to time. Somehow this feels all too unnatural. Worried what come next, I take few steps back. Stumbling on the ground falling down on my rump.
Chris worriedly moves over to my side, grabs me and hugs me. “It’s alright little brother, it’ll end soon.” He calmly says but I do not believe him.
I who praise my own psyche feel mortified as I cry on my brother’s shoulder hiding from the terror behind his back. Pitiful but as brother claimed, the doe’s movement finally stopped and silence rules once more only ruined by my weak sobbing.
Finally mustering enough courage to peek over my brother’s shoulder thinking I am prepared for whatever come next. What I face is a most horrifying sight. The doe regally stands there looking straight at me. Terror reign supreme as I gasp pointing towards the cause of my fears.
“It’s alright little brother.” Chris says patting my head not knowing what should lie down dead instead stand behind him.
“No Chris look!” I cry out but am interrupted by a voice far stronger than any I have heard before.
“You are coming with me.” A voice echoes throughout and darkness follows.