So, as it turned out, ‘everything’ was a very long conversation. They had to have it in increments. The first part, the night she woke. Aema explained her strange behavior her first day back in the Lounge.
“It was like you were there, but you were somewhere else,” Aema recalled from the foot of Hanna’s bed, her hands wrapped around a mug of warm coffee. “I just didn’t know what to do. Even Nurse Jennings dropped her sourpuss act and tried to coax you—but she looked terrified!” Aema sipped her coffee. “It was everything they could do to get the drugs in you right away. But it was like your mind went halfway on vacation and left very little in its place.”
“She’s right”, Legacy had nodded from beside her at the top of the bed, sipping her hot lemon water. “I would talk to you and you just had this blank look to you like you weren’t even there.”
“Then how do you know if I was? There, I mean. Here,” Hanna asked, holding the warmth of her tea cup in her hand, taking the time to truly inhale the cinnamon fragrance before she finally took her first sip. She sagged in relief as flavor poured over her tongue, waking up her sleeping taste buds.
“Your eyes,” Legacy replied with a shrug. “They would be all glazed over, but then sometimes a certain word or phrase and your pupils would do this,” she said, holding her closed hands together before spreading them apart and bringing them back together, like a ball growing and shrinking.
“Dilation,” Aema chimed in. “Her eyes—your pupils—” she corrected herself, looking at Hanna, “—They would dilate and shrink, as if the light was changing drastically. But if I tried with a pinprick flashlight..” She trailed off, shaking her head and taking another long sip from her cup.
After a heavy silence, they talked late into the night, filling her in on the mundane passing of her days before finally calling it a night. The next morning, Aema claimed another catatonic day for Hanna, which proved very boring. Her body was sore from laying around, but she couldn’t risk being up if someone came. During Aema’s checks, she would let her know snippets more. Legacy, of course, couldn’t risk being seen in the halls during the day, and stayed in her room as usual.
From what she understood, after that strange first episode, evil Doctor Fake Sol—whose villain name only kept growing in Hanna’s mind—decided to experiment with Hanna’s medication. She hypothesized that there was something about the original medication that had caused her headaches, tinnitus, nosebleeds.. But the REALLY interesting thing was that the change in meds seemed to get rid of the headaches and other side-effects, but they got rid of Hanna’s personality too. Aema said it was as if Hanna were trapped on the other side of a wall, the way people who fall into lakes in the winter can become trapped under the frozen ice.
When Hanna explained her lack of feeling and the growing depression she’d felt, Aema had listened intently and nodded. “Some medications can cause side effects such as those,” she mused. “Depression, suicidal thoughts, sometimes even mania. Other times you might get lethargy, euphoria, or the emotional numbness you spoke of. I’ve even heard of a patient saying they felt like their feelings were living things swimming inside of their chest, but they could only feel them physically, like they were emotionally numb. The patient said it was as if her emotions were trapped in her throat, unable to reach her head to be felt.” Aema frowned, recalling it.
It was a lot of information, but seeing as her mind felt pretty clear today, she figured that the medicine must have run out of her system. Aema had admitted as much when she said that she had missed Hanna’s nightly dose the previous night when she awoke. It turns out that they were dosing her morning AND night now. But nobody seemed to understand why, nor did anyone wish to question—or incur the wrath of—the good Doctor. That evil megalomaniac.
Mostly, the day went well, albeit uneventful. Aema smuggled her in some food. Since Hanna was ‘unable to eat due to catatonia,’ Aema had taken to having her lunches in the room to watch over and give Hanna some company. So, when Aema took her lunch in the room, it was just another normal day to any who happened to observe them. No one realized she brought double the lunch, although Hanna was scarcely able to eat, her stomach having shrunk from days of a liquid diet.
Still, she savored the simple fare on her tongue. After a prolonged fugue state of a bland and meaningless existence, it was as if the blasts of savory, juicy bites of cheeseburger sent her world from black and white into color. The iced peach tea she let linger on her tongue before swallowing, enjoying the sweet and fruity essence. Her empty stomach cramped and protested after only a few bites, but Aema let her keep it wrapped up to nibble on as she got hungry.
By nightfall, Hanna was in full restless mode. Her mind kept thinking back to the conversation she’d overheard as she had finally come back into herself. One thought above all kept coming back to her: Legacy goes out at night. How does she get out of her room?
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Aema was noticably missing for the normal nighttime rituals, but Hanna took care of herself, then paced the room. As it grew later, she realized that Aema likely wasn’t coming at all. A knot formed in her tightly wound stomach, and she began to worry something happened. If she had been found out.. But how could be found out? No one else had dared to enter Hanna’s room. Only three people knew that Hanna was awake again. Hanna, herself, Aema and…
Legacy! Hanna thought with alarm, rushing to the door. What if something happened to Legacy? She had sounded convinced they would try to kill, so what would they do to get information? Beatings? Torture? Some sort of truth serum?
Shaking her head to clear the thoughts, she rested her hand on the doorknob. Wouldn’t it be locked? she wondered. Taking a steadying breath she tried to turn the knob. Even if it was locked, she had to know that she at least tried to see if Legacy was okay.
To Hanna’s surprise, the knob turned smoothly, silently. It didn’t stick and there were no clicks as she pulled the door open a tiny crack and peered through, unable to believe her luck.
Outside, strangely, the halls were dark. Whenever someone had come in, light had always spilled through the doorway, no matter the time of night. She felt an apprehension build in her as she pulled the door slightly open and dared a peek into the hall, first one way and then the other.
The hall was empty, near pitch black, and strangely silent. Hanna was afraid the sound of her own breath or slamming heartbeat would give her away. After several moments of tense silence and listening, Hanna slowly moved into the hall and closed her door silently behind her, pressing against it with her back and holding her breath a moment as she rechecked the situation. Everything was as it was, darkness and silence.
Padding slowly and silently with comically large steps, Hanna made her way across the wide hallway over to Legacy’s door. She took a breath and held it, knuckles poised above the door and paused. Should I knock? What if someone overhears? Should I whisper? She chewed her bottom lip.
In her mind she pictured herself whispering in the darkness. ‘Legacy, are you there?’. Moments later, she was surrounded by an army of black-clad, machine gun wielding guards, the barrels pointed at her heart as evil Doctor McFake Sol stood there, her ridiculously long, white lab coat fluttering in an invisible wind as she stood taller than all of the guards. She laughed maniacally and held up an incredibly large, silver scalpel. ‘I knew you’d try to escape! I’ll gut you—and your little friends, too!’ she bellowed triumphantly, her voice shrill, ‘And now I’ll cut you down to size! I wonder what your organs taste like?’
Hanna shuddered and squeezed her eyes shut. Quiet brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip, she thought, the phrase dancing in the back of her memory from somewhere, making her lip quiver with an attempt at a smile. Hanna sobered herself.
Pushing her brain’s interference back, Hanna squeezed her eyes shut and, in one smooth motion, turned Legacy’s doorknob and opened the door.
The room was dark and empty. Legacy’s still-made bed did not even try to hide that no one had been sleeping in it. Hanna moved deeper into the room and looked around. Nothing seemed disturbed, no sigh of a fight or struggle. She pushed a hand through her hair in frustration, her head starting to ache a little.
“Amateur.”
The voice came out of nowhere, causing Hanna to jump and spin around, startled. Legacy stood in the doorway, arms crossed as she leaned against the door frame, a look of disapproval on her face. “You’re terrible at this,” she declared quietly.
“Legacy,” Hanna whispered, a feeling of relief settling over her. “You’re okay!”
“Of course I’m okay,” Legacy scoffed, coming into the room to stand before Hanna. “And only an amateur leaves the door open when they’re trying to sneak around. Come on,” she said, turning on her heel and walking back into the hallway. She looked over her shoulder, her expression softened. “There’s someone who wants to see you,” she murmured.
Hanna blindly followed Legacy out of the door, a deep curiosity filling her. Who? she began to wonder when she saw Legacy staring down the hall. A few doors down, she saw it. Billowy white night dress, long dark hair, pale skin and dark-ringed eyes. The apparition stood out in the dim hallway and stared silently at her, unmoving in the dark.
“Soo..hae..?” As soon as the confused words passed her lips, the ghost of Soohae turned and entered into a room. Hanna couldn’t tell if the door was open or she just passed through solid matter. She turned to Legacy. “Did you see that?” she asked quietly, a strange surreal feeling making her feel as though she might not even be there. “Did you see Soohae?”
Legacy looked at her like she’d been dropped on her head as a baby, then rolled her eyes. “Of course I saw her,” she hissed quietly. “Are you some kind of idiot? Follow her!”
Hanna didn’t register the insult, but turned and pursued phantom Soohae, Legacy quietly closing her room’s door behind her.
Hanna took a breath at the door, reached for the knob and turned. It turned as smoothly as her own door had, opening silently. The room was very similar to Hanna’s own, and phantom Soohae looked out of the window, the silvery light of the nearly full moon bathing her in its gentle light. She looked like an angel.
Hanna opened her mouth, but the words failed her. Soohae, she thought. Is it really you? As if she had heard Hanna’s thoughts, Soohae turned towards her, her face a blank canvas, but something melancholy filled the room.
“Hurry up and get in,” Legacy hissed again, shoving Hanna and pushing the door closed quietly behind them. “Gods alive, you really ARE an amateur!”
Hanna stumbled forward and looked up again as Soohae took a single step towards her, her blank canvas rewritten with a sad expression.
“I’ve been worried,” apparition Soohae said gently. “I was worried when your fever wouldn’t come down. I had to find Aema.” She turned back to the window. “Legacy found you. You’re lucky. Nobody would have found me.” She sighed sadly. “Maybe that’s for the best. This existence is too much now.”
“Soo?” Hanna said meekly, finally finding her voice. Soohae turned back to her, took silent steps until they stood face to face. She raised her ghostly hands and cupped Hanna’s face. Hanna didn’t realize the tears had come until her eyes blurred. “Soo!” She pulled Soohae into a deep embrace and hoped she didn’t have to let go for a long time.