After pizza everyone headed back to Alex's place since Ms. Lane said we could all stay over for the night. I dragged myself up the stairs and to my room taking off my shirt throwing it in my basket. My bathroom door creaked open and I snapped my head towards it to Lindsey standing in the dark in a pair of white shorts and a blue tanktop.
“A-Alex told me to use this bathroom” She spoke softly not looking me in the eyes. Her hair was down and fell over her shoulders covering her face the more she looked down and away. I couldnt control myself my mind scremed for me to stop as I slowly pushed her hair behind her ear closing the gap between us.
“Zeke please…” She looked up at me and pulled away.
“I'm sorry I don't know what got into me” That was a lie.
“It's ok and I'm sorry about all of this”
“Don't be everything fine” Thats a lie as well
“Promise” How many times will I lie to her to make her happy.
“Its getting late You should go figure out sleeping arrangements” Now I was the one too ashamed to look at her.
“Zeke I don't like how things are so awkward between us.”
“Lindsey I love you… nothing's gonna change that but you don't want me too so I hide my feelings”
“Zeke It's not th-”
“I really need to get some sleep so please…” She let her hands fall down to her side and walked out of my room shutting the door. I spun in a circle and leaned over quickly punching my bed I raised my fist back up and punched my bed again before turning around falling down on it. I looked up at the ceiling rubbing my eyes.
“What was I thinking” I mumble to myself. When you're sad it's not just one emotion its millions it's the pain in the bottom of your gut it's the feeling of tears in your eyes sadness is different for many people, and some hits harder than others. I sat on my floor my back against the bed the crickets could be heard from outside as i tapped my forehead in a rhythm. I stood up and paced back and forth and back and forth hoping for some reason it would help me but nothing was I just wanted to say I was sorry to her but would she even want to hear it. I walked over to my door hand on the handle as i leaned against it. I took a deep breath as i slowly let go of the handle and walked back to my bed turning the side lamp off and laying down covering myself with the covers. My eyes shot open as I focused on Lindsey standing next to my desk.
“I'm sorry I woke you, I left my wallet in here” She said quietly and turned to walk out.
“Lindsey?”
“Yeah?”
“I'm sorry”
“Me too” she sighed as she shut my door leaving my once again cold and alone room. I grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it screaming quietly.
“Zeke you ok bro?” Alex was in the doorway as i took the pillow away.
“Yeah, whats up bro?” I sat up rubbing my neck.
“Just saw Lindsey leave from here”
“Its nothing like that”
“I know” He sat down next to me
“What am I going to do” I ran my hands through my air gripping it tightly.
“What do you want”
“Her! I want her I want….”
“Then why did you push her away why don't you.”
“Why don't I what Alex why don't i talk to her why don't I take her for mine havent you seen she likes someone else she's in love with someone else.. I lost my chance.”
“No Zeke” He stood up his tone stern as he walked near my door.
“You let your chance go” He walked out of the room and i could hear his footsteps trail downstairs into the living room. I follow him down the stairs and once i reach the bottom everyone looks at me.
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“I…” I didn't know what to say.
“I have to go” I walk to the front door grabbing my motorcycle keys and helmet. I slam the door before anyone even had the chance to chase me. I swung my leg over my bike starting it and backing up leaving the driveway. I rode around town for awhile before stopping down town. I parked my bike and took my helmet off setting it down on the bike seat. I turned around a started walking off and around town. I haven't been downtown for years, many shops changed since i was last here, I looked behind me at a group of guys walking near me I ignored them and kept walking, I went into an anime shop near by and looked around at all the books and dvds, out of the corner of my eye i saw the same big group of guys keeping an eye on me.
I slowly made my way out the door and the group still kept close to me. I kept walking quickening my pace before i was shoved against the brick wall next to me. I fell to the ground and looked up trying to find me legs as i pressed myself against the wall.
“What's your issue” I stood up pushing the guy closest to me away.
“This is our town and I dont appreciate a murderer running loose” One of the guys in the back stepped forward punching me. My head flew to the left almost hitting the wall before i looked at him.
“Nice punch for a princess” His face deepened red as he swung again but missed, then quickly one by one each of them started punching me or holding me down as I did my best to protect my head. They hit me everywhere, my chest and back killed me as they kicked every inch of my body.
“Hey get away from him!” I heard a girl's voice as slowly one by one each of the guys stopped abusing me and walked away.
“Hey are you ok?” I looked up as the girl hovered her hand above me.
“Yeah” I coughed and sat up.
“Be careful” She said softly as she helped me sit up.
“Here let me help you clean up”
“No no i'm fine” I slowly stood up falling against the wall.
“Please let me help you” She linked my arm over here shoulder and took me into the starbucks next to us. We walked into the bathroom and she sat me down on the toilet seat walking over to the sink.
“Im Taylor” she wet a paper towel and walked back over to me.
“I'm studying to being a detective”
“I’m Z..”
“Zeke Guerrero, my class studied your case multiple times.” SHe smiled and pulled her red hair back into a ponytail then leaned over slowly tapping the cloth on my forehead.
“And what you just happen to also be amazing at first aid.”
“No but i have had practice”
“Oh really?”
“My brother Jackson's gay and my other brother William is the captain of the chess team let's just say they don't have an easy time at school.” She sighed and finished cleaning the blood off my forehead.
“I can clean my own blood off” I laugh quietly aching in my sides.
“You might have experienced mild trauma in your left rib cage.”
“Well Ms. Experience I've been through worse”
“Did they ever find out who was the one who sent the man to murder your mother” she meant no harm but the question still stung.
“No” My voice was colder than i meant it to be. She froze then threw the paper towel away grabbing a new one and starting the process over again.
“Sorry just my curiosity getting the best of me”
“It's ok” I slowly stood up testing my legs.
“I think i should be ok to walk now”
“Just be careful Zeke” She said throwing the 2nd paper towel away. She held the door open for me and followed me out.
“Mind me asking who you think killed my mom” I looked at her and i think she was surprised at my question.
“Well all the class had different answers but from me being a daughter of the detective on the case so I had a little more info than others. Some people think it was a fellow employee at your mother's job and others thought it was a umm.. client... “
“And you?”
“My father thinks it might have been a family member” She whispered the last part.
“What would make him think that??”
“Well I umm Its not my place to talk about it.”
“Please Taylor”
“Here this is my dads phone number call him and ask yourself” She grabbed a sharpie out of her bag and held my wrist writing the number and his name on my wrist. She smiled and let go of my wrist.
“It was nice meeting you Zeke.”
“Yeah you too Taylor” She waved and walked away taking her hair out of the pony tail and got on her phone making a phone call. I smiled and slowly make my way to the downtown library walking inside I looked around as I climbed the staircase heading up stairs. I shuffled through the aisles ignoring the whispers around me, the cruel stares i'd be getting. Even ignoring them didn't make them go away it just made it worse when i do think about them I quickly put the book away that i was holding and quickly made my way out the library anger filling my body as i made my way back to my bike slowly. Its been months since i've come home and still no one will probably ever forgive me. I put my helmet on and looked around one more time. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and no text or calls were on it.
“You're being an idiot” I whisper to myself without even realizing i spoke it out loud. I quickly start my bike and pull onto the road riding through town and to Lindeys house. I pull into their driveway and her dad was in the driveway.
“Zeke?”
“Hello mister Shay”
“Please call me Luke”
“Is Lindsey here?”
“No but she should be soon, why don't you come in”
“No thats quite alright it's nothing important” I smile and wave bye as I swing my leg back over my bike.
“Zeke…” He walks over to me wiping the grease from the car he was working on off his hand.
“Yes?”
“My daughter loves you and you left her”
“I know sir”
“No you don't know, she hid in her room for weeks crying would not touch her food because she loves you and she only wanted you back, don't let her go this time because I don't want to see her like that again” He patted my shoulder and went back to his car before saying anything else.
“She's in her room I just needed to talk with you first” I laugh quietly and get off my bike walking to the front door.
“Just go ahead and walk in” Mr. Shay yelled as I walked inside her house slowly looking around. I made my way to the door of her room and knocked softly.
“Hold on” She said happily and opened the door and looked up at me.
“Zeke?”
“I love you”
“So you've told me” She said quietly
“No I haven't.. I love you Lindsey your eyes your smile your everything I love you, I love the way you laugh and the way your eyes sparkle when you look at something you enjoy and I know you loved me so why can't you give me another chance, I came back to you for you!” water swelled in my eyes as I finished.
“Because I'm afraid of getting hurt again Zeke! You hurt me!” She yelled in frustration and sadness holding onto the door frame. I rose my hand up to her face holding it softly and gently.
“I love you Lindsey whether you forgive me or not and I’m done trying to hold it in.” She closed her eyes to get the tears out of them.
“I won't stop trying to get you back.” She didn't speak or move I slowly kissed her forehead before letting go of her.
“Starting tomorrow I'm done trying to hide my feelings for you.” I slowly took a step back then turned around walking to the front door, her mother stood in the kitchen and smiled softly as I opened the door walking through their yard to my bike.
“Have a good evening Mr.Shay.” I said and he waved as I started my bike and headed back home.