[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/976283162403557457/996555807716028416/PBJ_small.jpg]

Wyvern Cuddles set the knife down that she was using to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sighed. This day had started off horrible. Fuck, these past few years have just been one disaster after another.

She did not need a System Armageddon on top of it.

Ironically, she was the one who proposed that everyone change the term to that.

After cursing, the first thing she did was check her phone. Usually in all the novels during these types of situations, the internet was the first thing to go. But, for some reason, it was still working.

The first thing she did was call the school. Busy signal.

Then, on autopilot, she opened her favorite author’s chat.

Wyvern Cuddles: Are you all seeing this?

Wraith: Yes. I’m fairly positive we’re all fucked.

Moosetashe: Everyone, I’m out. I want to spend my last moments with my family.

Wyvern Cuddles: ... Y’all are not doing last-minute research on how to survive the end?

Ken Kernal: What’s the point if we’re just going to get killed by a monster?

Wyvern Cuddles: The point? Well, the point is that I have to go pick up Little Cutie at kindergarten.

Moosetashe: Oof. Good Luck!

CrazyCore: Good Luck! +2

Wraith: Good luck! +3

Staria:

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/976283162403557457/996545472942575676/Goodluck_copy.jpg]

Wyvern Cuddles: If this means that I have to fight monsters to get to him, then I’m gonna fight monsters to bring my kid back.

Wraith: Just make sure you prepare first.

Wyvern Cuddles: I know. And don’t you all give up hope! Even in the middle of Armageddon, storytellers have worth. It may not seem like it right now, but we’re important.

Ken Kernel: Just not immediately important. Which means that we’ll be the first to die.

Wyvern Cuddles: Damn it, Ken. We don’t even know what kind of system this is. Who knows, it could be a system where we have to hug kittens to level.

Wraith: ...

Staria: ...

CrazyCore: ...

Ken Kernel: Your optimism isn’t helpful.

Wyvern Cuddles: Better than giving up without a fight.

System initialization is complete!

[Warning! Your current location is in a low danger area! Be on the lookout for monsters. Kill them to earn XP and rewards!]

And that was when a strange voice sounded from behind her.

“Gobo!?”

She turned to see a thin green-skinned goblin standing in the middle of her kitchen. It looked just about as confused as she was.

In fact, it was just as confused. Even more so since goblins didn’t have the best intelligence. It tugged at its ear that looked like it had been chewed on by a rat.

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Not hesitating even a second, Wyvern grabbed her rainbow butcher’s knife off her standing rack.

The goblin took a step back, eyes wide.

She brought it down on her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cutting it in two.

Then she handed half of it to the little guy. He attacked the sandwich until it was done. Then she handed him a glass of water which he downed.

“What’s your name?”

“Spurglewerklsquesh.”

“Squiggly?”

He tilted his head.

Congratulations! You’ve tamed a monster! Would you like to change your class from [Nothing] to [Monster Tamer]?

“Yes!”

There was no point in thinking so far in the future. If this class could help her survive long enough to get her kid back to the house, then she would take it.

You have 1 tamed monster. You need to reach level 2 to ‌tame a second one.

She handed the other half of the sandwich to Squiggly. Since it looked like the internet was still up, she took a picture and sent it to her group.

Wyvern Cuddles: Just tamed a Goblin!

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/976283162403557457/996545754309083187/Squiggs_002.jpg]

CrazyCore: What?! How?

Wyvern Cuddles: I gave him a sandwich?

Wraith: I just killed a giant spider! And leveled twice. How much XP did I get?! Hold on. Lemme check.

While she waited, she sent a quick message to her husband, Mechaonyx.

Wyvern: Stay safe. Don’t hurry home. Earn XP and make it over here slowly. Whatever you do, just focus on staying alive. Move in a large group if possible. I love you!

No response. But, considering the secretive nature of her husband’s engineering job, that was to be expected.

“Goupta?!” The goblin caught her attention. It pointed out the kitchen doors to the backyard.

She peered outside. Enormous rats sniffed at her husband’s aquaponics tank and the vegetable bed.

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/976283162403557457/996655505214799902/Aquaponics.jpeg]

“Shhhhhiiiiiit!”

Her whole family might have to live off those vegetables and tilapia!

She dashed to her linen closet, where she kept the cheap katana reproductions she used to collect back in her younger days. She grabbed two, not because she could duel wield, but because she didn’t think the quality of these things could stand up to a monster.

Still, a long pointy stick was better than a short, pointy knife. She gathered her swords and hurried back to the kitchen. Then she grabbed one of her spare butcher’s knives and handed it to the goblin.

“Ready to kill a rat?”

“Suuupt!”

One large woman and one tiny Goblin charged a massive rat. Sadly, Squiggly did the most damage. The woman mostly helped coral it by being large enough that the rat did not want to face her.

Congratulations! You and your tamed monster killed 1 Dire Rat!

Warning! Your stamina is low. Please rest for 15 minutes to regain it!

Wyvern cursed her severely out-of-shape body and sat on a bench before her legs gave out.

The rat then turned into a pile of raw meat wrapped in plastic, clean bones and fur.

Squiggly salivated at the meat.

Wyvern took a picture of it and went to send it to her group.

Wyvern Cuddles: Y’all. Look at this. Squiggly and I killed a rat. It dropped this shit like something out of a video game!

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/976283162403557457/996574131074125834/Loot.jpg]

Wraith: Oh yeah! I received spider silk and venom sacs from that spider I killed. I already have several ideas on how to use it.

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/976283162403557457/996545508015358035/grid_0.png]

Ken Kernel: If you need schematics on creating traps I have some here.

Wyvern Cuddles: Nice! Whatever you do, it’s better to use them early.

Wraith: Says the wyvern who hoards all your loot in video games.

Wyvern Cuddles: ... But I might need it?

CrazyCore: Weren’t you supposed to be going to pick up your kid?

Wyvern Cuddles: I’m prepping first. It won’t do either of us any good if I get my ass killed on the way over. I’m also low on stamina. This damn system is making me take a break for 15 minutes to replenish.

CrazyCore: I hope your kid is okay.

Wyvern Cuddles: Me too. I’m trying not to think about it.

Wyvern Cuddles: If I think about it... then it will consume me and it will be the only thing I think about while not being able to do anything about it.

She once again called the school. Busy again. Maybe she should have given her Little Cutie that phone he’d been asking for.