Jack’s Point of View

The bed creeks as I shudder awake. The cold air crisped across my body penetrating the silk blanket over me. The grogginess of the light sleep I had just had still cast its powers over my eyelids. My rock-like body twists on the bed causing the creeks to get louder. My mind wandered around to the night before, of Angel crying. Her tears are a stark reminder to me that I caused this. I’m sorry.

Flinging my arm across my chest I try to catch my breath as it accelerates. I push against my thoughts of the past and the future. I caused this. I’m to blame. I need to fix this. But I can't fix this. Why did this happen to me? My breathing quickens uncontrollably, and a death grip coming from my hand pulls at my shirt causing the hems of the shirt to dig into my skin. Why did this happen to me? Why am I a monster? I am finding it hard to breathe, and my head is starting to pulse in pain to the rhythm of my heartbeat. The memory of my Mom flashes through my mind, “Get your sister out of here!” My heart aches. My eyes squeeze shut as I wince from the pain. “Don’t be selfish.” A tear leaks out of my closed eyes. Why did this happen? Why did it have to happen to us? Why did I become a monster? The words echo again in my “Don’t be selfish.” My hand brushes against my face. I’m sorry Angel. My hand wipes away a tear. I’ll make it up to you. I let my mind go blank as I try to focus on controlling my breathing. After what seemed like hours I finally had it under control again, a straight line connecting my thoughts with my job, to protect Angel. I swing my feet off the bed and I stand up.

My feet feel heavy with burden but I know I must keep going. Push it all down. Push it all away. I must do it for her. My steps echo in my head as they heave through the air. Bracing myself mentally I stand in front of the door. Taking a gulp of air I push all doubts, all thoughts, out of my mind and twist the knob. The reveal of the outside hallway causes me to freeze for a moment, but only for a moment as I force my feet to move through the cave of wood. I pass one door, two doors, three doors, and finally, I reach Angel’s room, the room we shared the first night. I reach for the handle but my hand stops just in front of it. Clenching my teeth I feel them grinding into dust. I must be there for her. A final breath I force my hand to grip the handle while the other levitates near the frame waiting for me to single it to knock. Taking another breath I knock. “Angel it’s Jack are you awake?” I wait a few seconds listening behind the door for any movement. None. I guess maybe she is still asleep. I roll my shoulders back in relief. Thank God, I am not ready for this.

My body finally relaxed a bit since I woke up gave way to a small growl from my stomach. Alright, now where was this restaurant part of the inn again? If I remember correctly down the hall past the lobby. Taking wide strides I walk through the wooden hallway. The dust falls off the ceiling with each step I take, barely holding it together. Is it the ceiling barely holding it together or is it me? My steps take me towards the front desk where I see a familiar shade of hair sitting down writing on some papers.

“Good morning, Amanda,” I give a subtle wave, which spooks her just a tad bit as she jumps in her seat. Her black hair tossed crisp waves through the air as her eyes settled on me. Her pen that once jerked across the paper now settled neatly on the desk as her free hand moved her hair behind her ear. Her hand blocking her expression, “Good morning, Jack, " she gives me a soft smile. My icy feet now melting from her warmth. My worries are being uplifted by her smile alone, I walk up to her with a smile on my face, why do I feel this way around her, ugh. “How’s your day going so far?” I ask.

Amanda’s hand moves to her chin as she gives a thoughtful expression, “Honestly, not much different than the usual.” Her hand forms into a fist as she smacks her open palm, “I take that back, the lunch rush was a lot easier today since Angel was helping out.” Angel is helping out? I thought she hated doing chores. Was she forced to do it? I remember Angel and Amanda talking about an “Old Hag” before, I wonder if she is the one forcing Angel to do chores. Putting my hand up in a half-shrug, “Angel doing chores voluntarily? That's a new one.” Amanda gives a slight chuckle at that, “Well I wouldn’t say she was doing it of her own free will if you know what I mean.” Amanda gives me a wink with a sly grin. Why is she winking at me? Is she flirting with me? No way right? We barely know each other not to mention she is way older than me. It has to be my imagination, right? My knees start to grow weak but I force my static face to keep itself still, pushing my emotions aside now that I know Angel is awake I should go check on her. Covering my mouth with a fake yawn I question Amanda, “I’m guessing it's that mysterious ‘Old Hag’”? Amanda can’t keep her composure and starts to laugh while squeezing the fabric of her dress. “Her name is Mrs. Rose,” Amanda breaks out in laughter again as she attempts to keep going, “I’m sorry it's just so funny to hear you call her that!” Is she alright? She can’t stop herself from laughing. Wait is she laughing at me? Is it the way I said it? I give her a confused look as she continues her laughing fit. Eventually, she catches her composure. “Sorry sorry,” she repeats with her hands up. “It’s just funny when people call her that, you have no idea how mad it makes her.” Anddd there she goes again with her laughing fit. I’m starting to think she might be having too much fun at this. “Sor-” She can’t seem to get herself together. I just stand there waiting with my palm smacked into my face. She needs to get herself together… I tell Amanda to get it together and just tell me where Angel is. Out of her baited breathes she tells me Angel is in the kitchen. My feet hesitate in place. Should I just stay with Amanda or should I go talk to Angel? Amanda's laughter echoes in my mind reminding me of Azrael's laugh. Do I really have the right to talk to Angel about that night when I took her away from Mom and Dad? My gut starts to get butterflies as the tips of my toes go numb. My eyes start to disoriate Amanda replacing her smile with the crackling smirk of Azreal. My shoulders feel heavy. I'm finding it harder and harder to not fall forward. My legs are barely holding on when I see Amanda's fingers snapping in front of my face, “Jack are you there?” My shoulders start to relax as Azreal turns back into Amanda. My mouth is dry and moist at the same time. “Yea. Sorry.” I apologize to Amanda, what am I apologizing for though? My eyes look Amanda up and down, am I apologizing to her or to myself?

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I feel Amanda's hand grasps my shoulder a look of worry on her face, “You look a bit pale.” Her hand moves to my forehead. “You're a bit warm as well.” I'm warm? I feel my body getting heavy with sudden exhaustion. What happened to me? My legs start to stumble as I catch myself on Amanda's shoulder. My vision is blurry but I’m able to make out Amanda's feet starting to move. I follow her movements as I lean on her. “C'mon let's have you sit down.” I feel my legs skate across the floor like walking across an ice rink. My mind tries to focus but it keeps hazing in and out. Calling energy from within I start to pump some magic through my muscles to try and keep myself up.

Slipping into the dining room Amanda directs me towards an empty table where she instructs me to sit. Taking her words to heart I grip the chair and pull it out. My legs failing me I shift all my weight onto my arm squeezing. I hear the cracking of the wood as my fingers dig into the chair’s chipped body. With the help of Amanda, I am able to sit down on the chair as my mind goes hazy. My eyes darting around but barely registering anything. I feel light but heavy at the same time. I watch as Amanda leaves me. Why does everyone leave me? My head rolls as it tries to move to look around before collapsing onto the table. That’s going to leave a bruise.

My eyes wince at the sound of a door closing as I pull my head off the table. I watch Amanda coming back with a pitcher of water and a cup. The cup looks pretty, is it from a tea set? I feel my head lose itself and let gravity take hold leaning backward on the chair. I don’t feel so well. Amanda stops at the table and my preferential vision lingers on her as she pours me a glass of water. She lifts it up to my mouth, “Drink.” I lift my head up using all my will but I stare into space not able to grasp what's going on. I need to open my mouth but I can’t do it. I feel something cold touch my lips causing my body to twitch shooting ice through my legs as the ice grows it causes the chair to skirt across the floor far away from whatever that was. I shift my magic from coursing through my body and direct it towards my head. I need to wake up. The shift in mana caused my mind to clear. I see Amanda standing still as if in shock. Her hand holding a porcelain tea cup filled with what’s looks like water. Staring at the floor I notice two long rods of ice. Did I do that? I try to move my body but it feels so weak. At least now I can focus. Amanda’s gaze slowly looks my way. Her chin hanging down still in shock. Her hand still. I grab her gaze, “Sorry.” I said weakly. The sound of my voice must’ve shocked her back into reality as she pulled her hand over her mouth and whispered to me, “What was that?”