I should have been in shock again.

But old memories came crashing down my mind's doorstep.

"CRISIS! What do you do Sias?"

"Leave the emotions, take a step back." I answered.

Sharp pain in my stomach. I was now on my knees, catching my breath.

I smiled, I had not screamed this time.

"That was N°2 Sias. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"Instincts..." I managed to say "I react first, I think second, when I'm safe, and I may only feel when the crisis is over."

I looked up.

My grandfather was smiling at me.

"Yes... better to dodge the punch first before thinking about it right?"

I acted like I was in auto-pilot. One hour later I was in a Love Hotel at the other side of the city with only basic necessities. I still took my computer. It could have been tracked but that was truly unlikely. If I really was in danger, and the incident at the lab and the medical cabinet really was aimed at me, it made no sense my computer was compromised.

If it was it would have been my apartment up in flames, not the doctor's office.

I sat down on the heart shaped bed. I thought I didn't care about which room I had to pick, as long as it was a cheap one for the whole night. Looking at the room now, I would've preferred something less pink.

But I was safe.

I needed to think now.

I didn't think about the pain in my throat, it was quickly fading away anyway.

Was I targeted? Or were those coincidences really only that?

That wasn't the right question.

Could I take the risk?

Paranoïa wasn't good, but if it prevents your death, it's the worst of two evils.

First, a strange meeting with normal looking japanese men. I thought at first they wanted my ass, literally, but it seems I had been mistaken.

Or maybe they weren't in it for the same reason?

One of them, Haruto boy, looked at me with clear intend in his eyes, but the other one... Now that I thought about it, his actions did not make sense if he wanted to get in my pants. Wasn't he taking glimpses at the cleavage of the brazilian girl?

And he seemed surprised when I got back from the toilets.

Was I not supposed to? Or maybe I should not have been able to.

I remembered how I felt. I drank so little and still felt so horribly bad.

What if I had taken more of the strange drink?

Maybe it was actually poison.

What if the poison was sex hormones?

I looked it up: Estrogen Side Effects.

"Shit"

Nausea, Vomiting, Breast tenderness,... and in too high quantities, blood clots, and heart failure.

That was eerily reminiscent of my health state those last 24 hours.

It didn't explain everything, the feminization for example, but it answered my first question.

The risks where definitely too high to be taken lightly. Coincidence or not.

I got invaded by a multitude of unwanted worries.

Did I get injected with an experimental drug, just to see what it would do?

Their test subject having fled, did they try to cover their tracks and destroy the clinic?

Or was I facing assassins, engaged for whatever reason to kill me?

Making me change sexes then murder me was definitely the perfect crime. A random dead woman, no-one who knows her, found in the male toilets of a club.

Nah, the change was too slow, I could still be ID'd, even now.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.

I took my soundproof headset and concentrated on the music in my ears.

Sigur ròs, you're the best.

Those theories are a waste of energy. What I need is a plan.

I have to leave the country.

If I get back home, the crisis will be averted.

To do that I need to act, and fast.

First, contact my parents. Explain what has happened to me, even the embarassing part about my everchanging physical appearance.

So first things first, tomorrow, buy a phone. Wait, maybe I could use the one in the hotel. I think you can ask for that bonus. I'll try that.

In the worst case scenario, at least my parents will know what to look for if they lost their son. They'll look for a daughter.

A dry laugh.

Second, contact my international school and tell them I'm sick.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

If there are people after me, and they were able to almost immediately trace back the results of the lab, it is logical to assume their connections are large. Finding a european boy in his twenties learning japanese in Tokyo wouldn't take them too long to find. Even more with my particular name, Sias Jourdin. If Not-Haruto poisongiver guy was involved, my name will be out there.

It would be really suspicious if a student went missing, it'll help them in their search heavily. Private information are tightly secured in those schools, but I would not take any chances.

Step three was a choice. Either find a plane back home in Osaka, or take the shinkansen (High-Speed Train) to Tokyo, and go to one of the two airports there.

I liked the second option more, the airport was much bigger, and I would be much harder to spot.

Another thought popped in my mind, one I immediatly hated. Even if I was pursued by hyper intelligent conspiracy theory Illuminati that decided to sacrify me to Cthulhu, my physical changes are only known by myself. They were not much, at least if they did not get any worse till tomorrow, but they could easily be enough to become a ghost.

If I did something I really did not want to do.

"Why am I even thinking about it..."

"You're allowed to feel Sias, of course you are... in private, when nothing bad can happen to the Jourdin. Feelings are important, we need them. Rites that try to supress them always fail, the Jourdins are better than that. So accept them, but learn to accept them when you need them. For example, when you're trying to sound honest. Or you want to make yourself desirable. Put feelings in. But you know that already, don't you Sias?"

Grand-father looked at me, through me. He was peering inside something that scared and fascinated him. He wanted it for himself.

"You do know that right Sias? You do remember what you did to..."

My eyes opened, I shook off the memory. I was sweating and breathing heavily.

" I need a shower" I said out loud.

I almost panicked.

"Ah, Ah, aaaaaah" I said quietly, testing my voice.

It was one or two pitches higher.

My throat, the pain,...of course.

I palpated it with my fingers.

My Adam's apple was gone.

I almost threw my headphones on the ground, but they fortunately landed on the bed, and proceeded to run into the kitsch hotel's bathroom.

It had a full height mirror, the edges coated in fake, pink, gold.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, sô, verdammte ScheiBe, godverdomme, merde, merde, merde, blyat,..." said the androgynous boy-girl with a cute voice in the mirror.

Six languages did not give me enough ways to say poop at that moment.

I undressed. My hips were slightly larger, something unwanted was blossoming on my chest and bad things were happening to my balls. The other part of my genitalia still looked untouched.

"But for how long..." I said with desperation, before getting angry. "What the hell was that drug!" The clear sound of my voice didn't help with my temper.

Deep breaths, deep breaths Sias.

My hand were shaking, I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I couldn't have that now. The crisis was not over, far from it.

I went in the shower, waiting for the water to get unbearably hot before breaking down in tears.

I almost never cried, but holding my head in my knees felt good.

After half an hour, my skin one of a lobster, I got out of the shower with newfound resolve.

So what if I was forcefully getting changed into a trans girl/boy. It didn't matter. I would not dye my hair pink and force people to be politically correct. My humor would still be a horrible mix of dead babies and Syrian refugees trying to find the Atlantide.

Actually maybe it would be better, it's only when white men say it that it's bad right?

Fanny, my best friend who had transitioned would be furious. I could call her an "It" without her being able to use the "mysogynistic white man" card. Not that she really cared, she was my friend after all. She'd probably answer with her second favorite one "And you're a too hairy trapboy". Or not, damn.

Still, some of her LGBTQ friends heard me say it once and I immediately became persona non grata in their bar.

"It needs some wine." Wasn't that bad...

Fanny stopped going there too, so fuck them.

Yeah, I could get over it. It was a piece of cake actually. Nothing similar to getting stuck in a coffin for two days.

I smiled.

I had plans to make.

First contact my parents. I could not wait for a new phone, if my voice got any more feminine, they could be doubting me. I couldn't have that. I needed them on my side.

I sent private messages to my few close friends on facebook, telling them what had happened, and telling them I was going to Osaka seeing a specialized doctor. Maybe some of them would believe it was a joke, I was capable of such bad quality ones after all, but at least they would know something strange was going on. The Osaka bullshit was a red herring.

My friends couldn't do anything with that info, but if it got out, it would benefit me.

I hoped my pursuers were good, it's much easier to anticipate intelligent actions than stupid ones. Facebook had to be the first thing to monitor in this day and age after all.

Do you think it's too much? Do you think I'm overexaggerating? Of course I am. But if It's about surviving, I'll be paranoïd all the way.

I called my Mum. It was 10PM home, she would answer. She would not recognize the phone number of the Love Hotel, but she always answers.

"Hailey." Said a cold, calculating voice.

"Kaa-san." I said with the best male voice I could manage. Viva my accent training, it sounded pretty convincing.

But you don't know my mum.

"That's strange, I don't remember you sounding like that Sias." She said unfazed.

"Long story. Let's just say I believe I may be in deep shit."

"Deep enough to finally contact us? Do you know how your father was when he read your email this morning? You got drugged yesterday, and you don't even call?" Her voice almost didn't flinch, but years of experience on Mom-speech told me enough. She was seriously pissed.

"Erm..." I began.

"Shut up. You want me to come bring you back? Fuck that. I'll lift you with the skin of your butt back to the airport myself."

"... beautiful is that Sias..." I could hear my dad in the background.

He should have been at work. He must've been so worried to death that he refused to leave the phone.

It was still Mum who had answered first.

"You shut up too, good for nothing husband. I'm having a talk with our dumb son."

My dad is working at CERN, yeah, the HADRON Collider. Not a big shot, but a good scientist. It's always funny when my mother calls him a good for nothing. But this time, I didn't even smile.

"Mum?" I tried again, without making my voice deeper.

I always made stupid mistakes around her.

"Sias, was that you?" She sounded worried now.

"Ermm..."

"Talk to me, what happened? You talked about potential side-effects in your mail."

"It seems the drug was really bad" I didn't try hiding my voice again, cat was out of the bag. And she had recognized me already, she would believe me.

"Makes me, uhm, change, somehow."

"Change? Like Fanny?" It was my father talking. Looked like my mom had been nice enough to put the phone on loudspeak.

How the hell did he guess that so fast? With just my voice?

"No. Much weirder honestly. I think it was supposed to kill me. Well that or I'm getting completly crazy paranoïd."

"You always have been crazy paranoïd, but smart though. You don't believe in stuff that doesn't exist. Maybe the drug fucked your brain a bit. That would be nice, you and your dad are much too sciency for me."

"M'aan..." Mothers always bring you back to when you were eight. Well even though...

"So, what's your plan." It was Dad. His voice was heavy in undertones. We both knew what that meant. I don't think he ever told my mum, but she was really good at guessing. She never asked.

"You first. Well, relocating and false trails first. School second, ghost third, airport fourth."

The order changed a bit, but I had decided to put Ghost operation in place.

I was so gonna hate it.

"Alright don't say any more, I can't know about it." Simply answered my dad. "You know that's gonna kill me right? I'm gonna stay in bed until you come back home, not knowing what you're doing, crying myself to sleep with your mother insulting me the whole way through."

That made me smile.

"Yeah. Better that way though."

"Yes."

"Mum's not there anymore?"

She wouldve said something by now.

"Erm no, she got up and left, dunno what she's thinking. Probably going to give some calls, you know your mother."

"She sounded really angry."

"She looked really angry Sias."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

And as to answer that statement "Oh!" A surprised cry from my dad.

"What is it?" I almost sighed.

"She's packing up... honey are you leaving?" I heard him shout.

An unintelligible answer.

"Well, you'll have to get to Narita quickly, she doesn't like to wait, you know that."

I cursed.

"If the call was being listened to, they know where I'm going now." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh yes, certainly." My father didn't sound bothered by it. I knew why, but he continued anyway.

"But your mother will be there. Oh, and don't worry about school, I'll contact them, there's nothing else I can do anyway."

"Thanks dad."

"Try to come back home quickly ok? I'll be lonely here on my own."

"I promise."

And I hung up.

First objective done. I had backup coming to help.

Second objective. Taken care of. My dad would have the most beautiful explanation of why my dissapearance should not be reported anywhere.

Third objective...Ghost. It sounded so much cooler than what would be happening in reality.

Well shit, I was gonna have do it.

"It's the fucking worst."

I'm going to have to do some shopping.