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Swarming Sovereignty
Chapter 68: Changes

Chapter 68: Changes

Lia listened to her teacher’s report, still feeling a little odd about having someone she had respected so much display such unwavering subservience to her.

“…And that is my report, Mistress.” Ophelia said. “What do you advise we do?”

Lia looked towards Rose, who gave a shrug. “We need a better grasp on how strong they are.” She said. “I, unfortunately, wasn’t there to see the fight, so I don’t have a proper sense of scale.”

“I can remedy that.” Ophelia said. “Give me a moment, I haven’t done this before…” She paused, face screwing up in concentration, and then a video of the fight appeared in front of them. It was from the perspective of the cerberus, so the focus wasn’t great, but they were able to get glimpses of the nightmare and the phoenix, and that was apparently enough for Rose.

“We are unable to safely take these on.” Rose concluded. “But it seems unlikely that they will leave the area soon, nor are they particularly aggressive, so we should have time to build our strength if we play our cards right.”

“If I had people to protect, I could take at least one of them without issue, probably the phoenix.” Amelia said. “And if we can figure out how to get Ophelia temporarily unbound like me, we can probably take both.”

“May I speak my mind on the subject?” Ophelia asked, eyeing Amelia carefully.

Amelia, clearly not interested in Ophelia’s opinion, opened her mouth, then closed it again. “…Very well.” She said. “Speak.”

“That seems like a poor idea.” Ophelia said. “As Rose said, these two do not seem like they are that aggressive; while we may have a chance at succeeded at capturing them if both Amelia and I are unbound, whatever we make them into will be bound as well. We would see a windfall in the short term, but we would leave a power vacuum that something less favorable might fill. I believe now is the perfect time to train ourselves to the point where the restrictions on our power are lessened naturally, if not outright removed.”

Amelia opened her moth once again, paused for a moment, then spoke. “I see the logic in that.” She admitted, much to Lia’s surprise. “But we could just repeat this process whenever a new threat comes along, so I don’t think it holds up.”

“And what about when people start taking notice of us?” Ophelia pressed. “You may be strong, but even you wouldn’t be a match for the armies of several countries. And the Spine wouldn’t protect us either – it won’t take long for people to realize that there are no extraordinarily dangerous monsters around, and might send larger forces of people.”

“But they won’t at first.” Amelia argued. “They’ll send small teams like yours, and each team will make our power swell. If we wish, we could even take advantage of their fractured nature and sign treaties similar to the one we signed with Brom, and become immune to their attacks while we build up our strength.”

“That won’t work.” Ophelia said immediately. “They don’t know you like Brom knows you. They don’t understand just how strong you were, and are unlikely to be cowed as easily as he was. And people will realize something is up when most other countries have stopped searching for the Hero, and they’ll put two and two together. They may be fractured now, but we represent a clear and present danger to their very way of life.”

“She’s right, Amelia.” Rose said, laying a hand on Amelia’s shoulder. “What would we really lose out on by getting strong enough to undo your bindings? Perhaps a bit of time, but we are lacking any sort of strict time limit at the moment. Building our industry and strength will make progress smoother in the long run.”

“Very well, then.” Amelia said. “But I would like us to have goals and timelines for our progression; if we get complacent just because we have no immediate threat, then it will be our ruin. I prefer to have a constant source of danger over our heads for motivation, but so long as we are making progress, I will not complain.”

“Speaking of industry, we will soon have dozens of sapient civilians.” Lia said. “I think it is high time we begin creating actual jobs for them, instead of having them perform the same tasks as the unenlightened members of the swarm. Ophelia, will you fetch Lily and your wife, please?”

“Yes, Mistress.” Ophelia said, rising from her knees and hurrying out of the room.

“Amelia, you did good.” Rose said. “I’m proud of you for staying civil during that disagreement.”

Amelia blushed. “T-thanks.” She said bashfully. “I’m glad you noticed, I had to try really hard.”

“I figured as much.” Rose said. “I had to make great efforts to break out of certain habits from when I had the Urge, and I had the benefit of not remembering the past for some time after I had reincarnated.”

Lia chose to remain silent. She felt…unnecessary in this moment, where they were bonding over something she really had no way of experiencing. She was happy they were getting along, but she couldn’t help but experience a pang of loneliness. What…what if they decided that they liked each other more than they liked her, and left her? It was a silly thought, but she had never been in this situation before, and it was much harder than she had anticipated.

She didn’t even notice that she had stopped paying attention to Rose and Amelia’s conversation until she was very suddenly pulled out of her seat and into Rose’s lap by some telekinetic force.

“Lia,” Rose said, “you have no need to worry. I love you more than I had ever thought possible. I can be myself around you, and you’re the only person that I’ve ever had like that, even after my reincarnation. I never understood the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” until these last couple of months when I wasn’t able to spend time with you. Every moment we were apart I wished we were together, and it made me realize…” She trailed off as her eyes flicked up at Amelia, then focused back on Lia. “Well, the important part is that I love you, and no one can ever replace you.”

“No.” Amelia said, glaring at Rose. “No, no, no.”

“What?” Lia said, taken aback at the intensity of Amelia’s glare. “Amelia –”

“Not now, Lia.” Amelia said firmly, staring daggers into Rose. “You are not chickening out now, Rose. “We’ve already discussed this, so just say it, it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not, it’s not going to affect my feelings at all. In fact, I’ll feel worse if you don’t go through with it because I’m here, this is the perfect moment, and you shouldn’t put this off any longer.”

“I don’t understand.” Lia said. “What are you talking about?”

Rose sighed, picking Lia up as she stood, then placing Lia back down on the chair. She was disguising it well, but Lia could feel the slight tremor of Rose’s arms, hear the slight hitch in her breathing as she turned to face Lia.

She reached into her pocket, nervously withdrawing a small box and getting down on one knee. “I…I wasn’t expecting to go through with this so soon, but Amelia’s right. Lia, I realized that I can’t even imagine life without you any more, and I…I want to go further. I know this is moving fast, and I was just sorting myself out only a few months ago, but now I’m more certain about this than I have been about anything.” She opened the box, revealing an intricately carved pair of gold rings. “Will…will you marry me?”

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Lia froze, staring in shock at the rings. They…they had Lia and Rose’s names on them, which baffled her. The names weren’t in Rose’s handwriting, but…Amelia’s? And there hadn’t been any sign of tampering or reforging with Rose’s ring, it seemed to have been built with Rose in mind.

But the rings aside, she…she didn’t know what to say. Her parents had always warned her about rushing into romance, that she had to take time to really get to know her partner and be absolutely sure this is what she wanted before she agreed to any sort of marriage, or even sexual activity.

But…this was different, wasn’t it? She had never felt anything like this before, never connected with a person like she had connected with Rose. And she had already been resolved enough to proposition Rose, so the answer was obvious.

“Yes!” Lia said, reaching up and wiping the tears that sprung to her eyes. “I…I…yes!”

Rose gave her a giddy smile, grabbing the ring that said “Rose” and gently grabbing Lia’s hand, then slid the ring on. “Amelia made these for us.” She said. “They’ll let us know if the other is hurt, and channeling Mana into it will bring up a video interface that we can use to talk with the other from any distance.”

She held the box out, and Lia grabbed the other ring, putting it on Rose’s outstretched finger. “I’m so, so happy.” Lia said. “Do…do you want to have a ceremony?”

“Not unless you do.” Rose said. “It would feel weird for someone to ‘officially’ marry us when the two of us are only people that could remotely be considered clergy. I’m content just to call you my wife.”

“I don’t want one either.” Lia said. “They’re too much fuss. I say we just have a small celebration with our family, and call it good.”

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Lia, face burning red, looked up to Rose, who was similarly red. “Um…you too?” She asked.

Rose paused. “I, um, don’t think it’s the same as the one you got, but similar.”

“What makes you say that?” Lia asked.

“Um, it, um, gives benefits when I’m, um, submissive. I don’t think it would, um, work as well if both of us had it.” Rose stammered.

“Mine just makes what you do to me feel better.” Lia said. “But we can explore those later tonight, we need to say thanks to…where’d Amelia go?”

----------------------------------------

Amelia rested her back against the wall around the corner, hand on her chest as she tried to process the rush of feelings she had. She had made those rings at Rose’s request last night, and she had felt a little then, but nothing like what she was feeling now.

While it was nice to experience more emotion, there were times when Amelia really wished she didn’t; acting had become so much more difficult now that she had to actually suppress her emotions instead of just choosing what to act out.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t all bad. That was, perhaps, because she had significantly toned down her jealousy when she had fallen in love with Rose, but even that didn’t fully explain everything. There was a strange sense of longing that she got when she watched Rose propose, a desire to be…well, not either of them individually, but both, to receive a proposal from Rose, to give one to Lia…

And it wasn’t the same as the longing she had given herself when she had fallen in love. That longing was pure, unambiguous, and easily identifiable, but this was…different, it was muddy and unclear, and in a strange way, she felt happy. The delight on Rose and Lia’s faces when they took her rings, it made her feel happy in a way that she wasn’t used to. As she was coming to realize, the feelings she had given herself were one-dimensional, lacking any real nuance to them.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Her emotions were broader now, yes, but things were so much more complicated. Sometimes she couldn’t even determine if she was feeling good or bad, and it was maddening.

A wetness hit her cheek, and she realized with some shock that she was crying. It didn’t make any sense, the loves of her life had taken the next step in their relationship, and she had facilitated it, so why was she crying?

It was…was…because they had taken that step without her. She hadn’t quite realized why Rose had been so hesitant to propose while things were uncertain, why it had taken so much gentle prodding to get her to admit that she wanted to marry.

Amelia had assumed that she would be fine so long as she got there eventually, and logically she knew that waiting even a couple of years more would be a drop in the bucket that was the eternity they would have together, but her emotions didn’t listen to logic, and she soon found herself suppressing a sob. Her, actually getting choked up and losing control of her body, it…it was something new. She just couldn’t process these feelings right, it was all so confusing, and she wished that things would just make sense.

“Hey.” Lia said, crouching down so she was in Amelia’s line of sight. When had Amelia hung her head? She hadn’t even realized it, but –

“That was really big of you to do.” Lia said soothingly. “Not many people would be willing to do something like this, even if they weren’t processing entirely new feelings. I…don’t even know how to begin to say thank you. Not just for this one instance, but for…everything you’ve done for me. It wasn’t just that you brought be back from the dead, but everything since has been so…wonderful.

“My mom’s back, I met Rose, and the whole energy around this place is so positive, and it’s all thanks to you. I know things are confusing and scary for you right now, but once you get used to emotions, I promise you’ll be happier than ever. There are so many little things you can take pleasure in that you couldn’t before, and I can’t wait to show you them. But, while things are still scary and confusing, I’ll be here with you, every step of the way. Both Rose and I will be, so just come to us and let us know how you’re feeling. We’ll make time to help you process it, okay?”

“I, I’m sorry.” Amelia said, struggling to choke the words out between her tears. “This is…this is supposed to…supposed to be your big moment…but I’m here…making a mess of things, just b-because I can’t sort my own feelings out.”

Lia reached up, wiping away the tears from Amelia’s eyes. “That’s fine.” She said. “You didn’t know. I’m here because I got worried about you, not because I felt you were making a scene.”

“You…you shouldn’t have to.” Amelia sniffed. “I’m supposed to be the steady one, who…who doesn’t get upset by things like this. I…I should be there to comfort you, but not the other way around.”

“Amelia, that goes both ways in a relationship.” Lia said, standing back up and gently prying Amelia away from the wall and into a hug. “That’s the point. You’re both there for the other, no one person does all the work.”

Something swelled inside of Amelia, and suddenly she seemed to see part of herself, almost as clearly as if it was real. There was a cage around her heart, one that was being slowly and methodically melted away. But…it was melting too slow, and she wanted it gone now. It felt like her heart was bursting against it, being help captive and restricted by its unflinching restraint, and she hated it, hated it like she hadn’t hated anything before.

There was an odd moment of tension and then something snapped, the cage disintegrating into nothingness. And, with it gone, Amelia’s emotions seemed to intensify fourfold; even the murky, confusing emotions were suddenly almost as prominent as the clear ones she had given herself. They may not have had the same intensity, but they were so vivid, deep and full in ways that her “artificial” emotions weren’t.

She collapsed into Lia’s arms, sobbing intensifying. “I’m so sorry.” She wailed. “I…I made so many assumptions, I…didn’t really think before I acted, I…I…”

“Did your best.” Lia finished, stroking the back of Amelia’s head. “Just let it out, okay? I’m here for you, and I’ll make sure everything turns out alright.”

Amelia rested her head against Lia’s chest, sobbing and sobbing, her strength seemingly fleeing with each sob, leaving her feeling so, so tired. But Lia’s embrace was firm and unyielding, and it made her feel warm and safe and…protected. Never before had she felt protected by anything, she was the strongest in the world, and there was nothing anyone could protect her from that she couldn’t protect herself from.

Yet, Lia was there, a shield from the strange and confusing turn things had taken. And, so comfortable and warm was that feeling, so soothing and calm, that Amelia found herself drifting off to sleep, her strength spent.