I awoke itching. Laying naked in a pile of pine needles will do that I guess.

What?

Tearing my eyes open, I saw towering pines and regular leaf trees, while I lay in a small clearing with a few bushes and rocks. I jumped up, brushing sticky pine needles off my legs and butt and trying to get the ones in that hard to reach spot of my back. "Hello?!" Scared some birds nearby but only got my echo in answer.

No clothes means no cell phone or cheap little pocket knife I carry that my ex used to tease me about. No shoes means these spiky pine cones are gonna suck. And no food means I might have to try the berries on that bush over there.

I look at the small purple berries suspiciously as I tiptoe over, mindful of the cones and sharp little rocks. As someone who doesn't eat much fresh fruit or watch any Ursis Grillis shows, I have no idea what these are. Dime size purple fruit with some seeds on the outside, it looks like a mix between a grape and a strawberry. Plucking one from a small cluster of them, I'm shocked to see a small pop-up appear above my hand. 

Toko Berry

???

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5:00

The timer started to tick down. Is this berry a bomb? I tossed it as far into the trees as I could and turned and jumped, forgetting I was naked as I scratched my knees and hands up. Covering my head with my arms, I waited for the sound of something exploding. And waited. And started to ache laying in a weird position while naked. Finally, I dusted myself off and slowly stood up. Walking back to the bush, I picked a couple of them. Ignoring the timer, I tossed them back and smiled as they exploded with flavor in my mouth. The juice was refreshing and they were easy to chew. And they did taste like a mix of grape and strawberry 

In the left of my eyesight was a set of red numbers reading 23/25, as well as a picture of a cup and a set of utensils. What the hell is that? Suddenly a prompt popped up.

* Scraped hands and knees -2 hp

* Ate toko berry -3 hunger -3 thirst

* Ate toko berry -3 hunger -3 thirst

I rubbed my eyes, scrunching my face up. Hp, like in a video game? Where the fuck am I? What happened? What is this? Another prompt.

Welcome to Survival Forever!

Now that your life is over, you'll spend eternity enjoying your favorite game series and living however you'd like! 

Ok. Well shit.