The misanthrope wasn’t sure if he was going to make it.
Duh’blo the Knight’s greatsword clanged, bouncing off the scaly brown hide of a Lesser Lizard.
A glancing blow. Lesser Lizard’s Hardiness passive reduces damage by 50%. HP -34
Duh’blo grunted from the recoil, then dodged the lizard’s counterattack. Lifting his helmet visor, he swept sweaty brown hair out of his eyes to better view his opponent’s advances.
Lesser Lizard uses Tail Wallop. The attack misses! Lesser Lizard is off balance! Movement slowed by 20%.
“KREEE-YAAAH!!!” The Lesser Lizard roared, a tremulous cry from a mob whose oversized head made up half its body. Spittle ran down its maw, dripping to the ground. Again it swung its tail.
Dodging, the knight wobbled and almost fell as well. Nicks and cuts and bite marks pockmarked his armor. Some had penetrated. Cursing, he downed an emergency health potion. His last. The fog lifted from his mind and he steadied himself, staring down his opponent.
Duh’blo grit his teeth and raised his greatsword in a defensive stance. The Lesser Lizard attacked in a frenzy, its tail whistling through the air in a blur, teeth and claws searching for flesh to rip and rend.
Duh’blo had lured the LVL 28 mob to a narrow, rocky gully in the midst of the Bramblewood where none of its kind were likely to aggro and reinforce it. He had been whaling on the lizard for the past ten minutes. Despite being three levels down--a LVL 25 Knight--he had set up the battle to give himself the upper-hand; the curiously bipedal creature, designed for speed on the forest floor, struggled to navigate the uneven terrain. That advantage was the sole reason he yet drew breath.
Picking such a fight might be considered insane by most gamers. The misanthrope, however, was anything but an ordinary gamer. He embraced his particular madness.
As a diehard solo player, Duh’blo was no stranger to battles against the odds. In an MMORPG where players partying together against higher-level opponents was standard, his style of solo play was unorthodox at best, tedious and dangerous at worst. Make one mistake and you’d have no backup, no one to save your skin against an over-leveled mob. As a solo player, you lived and died by your own wits and methodical planning.
The misanthrope wouldn’t have it any other way. He hated grouping with other players. In fact, he disliked people in general. His own gametag, ‘Duh’blo,’ was short for ‘s010_0N1Y,’ which in his mind playfully reduced down to ‘0_0’ or ‘Double-O’ or ‘a secret agent without a number’ or simply… ‘Duh’blo.’
If he had any friends, they might have told him the reasoning behind his nickname was convoluted and dumb, easily misinterpreted. But Duh’blo didn’t have any friends. Nor did he want any.
People sucked. He was a self-declared solo for life. In his mind, his grindy play style was a noble quest, a communion of player vs. world. Quintessential PvE. NPCs wouldn’t backstab you or make your life miserable like selfish, toxic humans. As a child, Duh’blo had thought things would get better when he grew up, that people would mature. That hadn’t been the case. He had experienced too much heartbreak and betrayal; his last had broken him.
So he was content this way, playing in a world bounded by strict rules and predictable laws.
Duh’blo lunged.
You slice a critical hit! Hardiness passive bypassed! HP -137 Lesser Lizard is bleeding. -5 hp/minute
The creature howled, its gametag flashing red.
Lesser Lizard is at Death’s Door! (Less than 10% HP remains.)
Duh’blo pumped his gauntleted arm. I’ll have him soon. No more mistakes. Be patient, he thought as the lizard staggered toward him. The beast’s eyes were growing dull. Soon the battle would be decided, and he would be awash in XP and loot. And he wouldn’t have to share with anyone!
“Come on, Fred! Have at thee!!” Duh’blo had a tendency to nickname his AI opponents. He had never stopped to consider what drove him to personify his soulless, system-controlled opponents.
Knight and Lesser Lizard awkwardly charged across the uneven ground on a collision course. Duh’blo’s heavy chainmail raised a racket, while the slowed, bleeding mob stumbled onward, determined to fight to its final breath. The knight began to glow, readying his best skill.
I can almost taste the rewards. This will finish it. The combatants breathed hard, winded by their long battle. The forest above them stood deathly still in anticipation.
Duh’blo wound up his greatsword for the killing blow.
Duh’blo casts Ulti--ERROR!!!
Jarring theme music--a frenetic melody of trumpets and kazoos and vuvuzelas in ill-tuned octaves--erupted from nowhere, an all-encompassing blare that shattered the duelists’ deadly concentration and the forest’s tranquility. Knight and lizard alike stumbled.
Cheerfully-hued confetti rained into their eyes.
Hip, Hip, Hurray! It’s a celebration! Party time! Special status effects applied. You are true blinded. Accuracy reduced to 0. Please stand by for important system announcement from the Game Devs.
The two combatants, taken off guard, persevered anyhow and attacked one another.
Ultimate Cleave misses! All mana drained. Tail Wallop misses! Special status effect engages: Stop resisting. Take a seat! Combat and movement disabled.
“Crud! You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“KREEE-YAAAH!!!”
The Misanthrope collapsed. All that time spent, he thought, only to have a server-wide announcement interrupt our battle. What are the chances? Duh’blo sighed and eyed the Lesser Lizard. Even though Fred didn’t have lips, it almost seemed to be toothily smiling at its fortunate turn of events.
Notification screens bombarded Duh’blo; the same thing was happening to every player. It would not be exaggeration to say that the game world had literally come to a stand-still.
Good evening, Azure Online.
We are pleased to announce that we are rolling out an game update in mere moments!
What? A surprise patch?! No, anything but that! It’s been over thirty months since the last one… I thought the devs were done messing around! The knight banged his hand on a nearby boulder and fumed.
There will be significant changes to gameplay, including player interaction, monster strength and classification, loot drops, and more. We are leaving it to you to explore this brave new world. Expect the unexpected!
So unnecessary. The game mechanics were fine-tuned years ago. Why can’t the devs leave it alone? Always pushing updates to lure players back… just leave us to our own devices. Man, c’mon…
Indeed, Azure Online had peaked in popularity nearly a decade prior. Compared to the newer MMORPGs, it was dusty and ancient. Much of the player base had long since moved on to other games with fancier bells and whistles.
Not Duh’blo. He was a late bloomer to Azure. He had clung on to his first MMORPG until waning player population made it utterly unprofitable and the devs were forced to take its servers offline. The death of that world--itself an island of stasis against the sea of dynamic games that were always evolving, promising something fresh--had devastated Duh’blo. He had been a force to reckon with, a solo player of great renown.
After much research, he’d settled upon Azure to start over. Yes, this game was far from optimized for solo play, but it was also the most popular oldie on the market, with enough funding to keep running for years.
This meant Duh’blo could count on exploring a world where every stone had long since been turned, every zone mapped, every mob categorized, every guild predictable in its actions. A stable world where he could grind to his heart’s content.
Alone.
Welcome to The Party Patch! To keep with the rising emphasis on teamplay in modern games, most tasks in-game will now require you to group with other players! We expect this to improve the long-term health of the game and our own loyal player base. Since solo players account for less than 2% of the population, we hope they will find the changes are for the best. Remember, the second ‘M’ in MMORPG stands for ‘multiplayer,’ after all!
“T-this… this isn’t possible… h-how could they…” Duh’blo muttered.
Implementing Patch 29.0.0.11 in ten seconds. Please stand by for phase shift in all zones. Hold on to your britches, kiddos!
The Misanthrope stared at Fred forlornly. The lizard winked at him then faded out of existence, its nametag following seconds later.
Nothing happened. Did the patch crash? If so, the game code might unravel and he, along with every other soul across the world, would be forcibly kicked from the game. Always a disconcerting experience, but certainly not unheard of. Without a doubt, Azure would be making the news if such a fiasco occurred.
Duh’blo prayed desperately for a crash. Anything to keep things the same, a quick reversion to the thirty-month-old patch.
PATCH SUCCESS.
“Oh, bother.”
----------------------------------------
Welcome to Patch 29.0.0.11! The Party Patch! Have fun! Special status effects removed.
More confetti sprinkled Duh’blo and stuck to his well-oiled armor, so that he appeared strikingly like a piñata. A very grumpy one at that. He picked at a few pieces of confetti, then gave up. His gauntlets weren’t suited to delicate tasks. Freed from disables, he stood and planted his greatsword into a patch of soft earth.
“Bollocks. Some party. What do they mean, most tasks will require grouping?”
In answer, Fred respawned a little ways off down the gully. As he materialized, Duh’blo hoped the creature didn’t harbor any hard feelings from earlier.
The formerly dorky creature now resembled a horned velociraptor. Yes, its head still made up half its torso, but now spikes protruded all over; its dainty hands ended in flesh-ripping, curved claws; menacing green and red stripes wove across its once-mundane hide. Fred belched little flames with a snort, as though it had dragon blood. No longer a Lesser Lizard, it was now christened Frederick the Gigalizasaurus.
“Spooky,” murmured Duh’blo. The game AI had heard his name-calling taunts and responded in kind. Of course, Fred had been reincarnated at full health, so aside from the knight leveling his greatsword weapon skill, that fight had been a wash.
Or had it?
“Hullo, what’s this?” The Misanthrope realized that the creature’s gametag was glowing gold. A similar aura surrounded the Gigalizasaurus’ body. And the AI gifting it a proper name implied that this was no longer any mere leveling mob.
Curious.
You inspect Frederick the Gigalizasaurus. Stat sheet. LVL 31. Your level is too low to perceive this creature’s stats and abilities. SPECIAL NOTE: Party Patch content! This is a unique treasure mob. Wow! Team up and slay it to receive a one-of-a-kind weapon beyond your wildest dreams! Party of 2+ ONLY.
“Party only?! Forget that. Don’t mess with me!”
Fred seemed to have dropped aggro on Duh’blo when he phase-shifted, giving the knight time to ponder his course of action. The gigalizasaurus meandered around the gully, content to pick among the boulders and light small grass fires with its belching. Unfortunately, upon seeing that he was barred from soloing the mob, Duh’blo lost his cool. He sipped an elixir to replenish his health and mana and spat at its bitterness.
“Do you know who I am?” he yelled. “Duh’blo, the master tactician, the duelist of fate, the solo player above all solo players! Come meet your maker!”
Throwing caution to the wind (and rendering his self-proclaimed titles moot in the process), he channeled, then rushed at Fred from behind.
You use Velocity Warp. Sneak attack! Critical hit! MP -85. WARNING. Party patch content! Special treasure mob passive activated! All solo player damage negated. Frederick the Gigalizasaurus’ Ultimate Hardiness passive reduces damage by 100%. HP -0.
The greatsword bounced off the scales like a child’s toy, the force of it toppling Duh’blo to the ground.
Backblow. [Your attack dealt no damage.] You are stunned for 5 seconds.
This was the knight’s first experience with Backblow. Implemented to discourage adventurers from biting off more than they could chew, Backblow activated only when an overly ambitious player struck a mob and dealt no damage. The force of the attack would be redirected at its originator, stunning them and--worse--leaving them vulnerable to counterattack.
As Duh’blo gazed up, dazed and confused, Fred rounded in place and surveyed the knight like a bird over an insect. It snorted what sounded suspiciously like laughter, then spewed fire.
Frederick the Gigalizasaurus casts Fireball. You are engulfed in flames! HP-480. (Overkill) YOU ARE DEAD. XP -1340. LVL 25, XP: 247/13400
----------------------------------------
“Rubbish,” said Duh’blo’s ghost, looking down on his smoldering remains. His arch-nemesis had already trod over his charred corpse and started climbing from the gully back to the Bramblewood.
In the world of Azure, death was merely a setback. Upon falling to 0 HP, a player was severed from his corporeal form and reduced to a plain-clothed spirit. Death was costly: a hefty loss of experience points, 10% of the amount needed to reach the next level. If no enemies lingered, the player could return to life on the spot. White magic resurrection could negate the experience loss, but for a solo player like Duh’blo, such an option might as well not exist; avoiding death was an absolute necessity for progress. One could revive at a shrine, but doing so risked having your bones picked over by scavenging players, thereby losing precious gear.
No longer hidden behind bulky armor, Duh’blo scratched his head through messy brown hair and peered after Fred with wistful violet eyes. He had modeled his character after himself: tall, filled-out from middle-age, enough well-hewn muscle to handle his heavy weapon and armor. Only the curious purple eyes--a hold-over from another game--were a deviation from his true form.
“Why did I do that? Stupid. Stupid. So stupid. Can’t lose my head like that again. This maddening party patch though,” Duh’blo muttered.
He glanced down at his bones. His greatsword lay a ways away, glistening under the evening sunset.
“There has to be a workaround. I’ll need to collect information and formulate new plans in order to keep soloing. They can’t have altered everything… the world is too big. I should be able to find mobs here and there that I can deal with alone.” Despite the anxious desperation he felt creeping in, he steeled his resolve. “It’ll be okay.”
Duh’blo knelt, touched his hot skeleton; it faded as his spiritual form solidified. He materialized into the game world in a tunic that hid his nakedness but offered no other advantages. He breathed the fresh scent of the woods and sighed contently, picking up his LVL 25 greatsword.
“Luckily can still use this faithful companion… if I’d fallen back to LVL 24, I don’t know what I would have done.”
He’d specifically bought the greatsword due to its high modifications to his endurance. Where most of its kin would exhaust a knight’s stamina over the course of a long solo skirmish, his greatsword was so light he could fight in peak form for however long he needed to last.
And yet…
Fred will drop a ‘one-of-a-kind weapon beyond your wildest dreams.’ I’ve already invested so much time into fighting him. Right. This is personal. I’ll do what I need to beat Fred and claim his spoils, even if it means…
QUEST ACCEPTED Team up, vanquish your arch-nemesis, and reap the rewards!
Duh’blo gulped. “I have to find someone to group with. Ugh. God Save the Queen.”
The Misanthrope enjoyed uttering a hodgepodge of British and medieval phrases in his twangy southern accent, even though he hailed from Texas hill country and had no exposure to either culture outside movie and TV cliches.
Despite the ferocity of Fred’s Fireball, the knight’s armor, smithed with magical reinforcement, remained intact. He donned his gear, holstered his greatsword across his back, and trekked up the rocky hillside the same direction the Gigalizasaurus had set off.
I’ll grab whoever I find, then take down Fred. I’ll do the heavy lifting, as always--all I need is to bypass Fred’s Ultimate Hardiness. For all I care, my partymate can take a nap.
Nodding to himself, Duh’blo trod into the forest depths, the full yellow moon drowning out the stars and lighting the way.
----------------------------------------
As fate would have it, Duh’blo soon stumbled across another player in the Bramblewood. He would regret not being more careful with his wishes.
Winding his way past silvery pines that stretched into the night like maypoles, whistling jauntily in hopes of attracting attention, he wandered into a clearing. Moonbeams arced between the trees; one of them fell upon a bedraggled fellow sitting on a log, faced away from Duh’blo. The man was toying with something the knight could not see.
Well, here we are. With any luck, this whole affair will be over in a few hours.
“Good eveningtide to thee!” called Duh’blo.
The seedy fellow jumped and whirled around angrily, his face screwed up as he slipped whatever it was into his pocket. He immediately relaxed, broke into a wide-eared grin. “Oh, hi! Didn’t hear you coming! Did you have Muffle cast on you? I’m surprised I missed you, given all that armor.”
“No, I simply tend my armor as one should. How fare thee?”
“I’m dandy. Hey, buddy… you sound a little funny… are you okay?”
“Oh, um, sorry. How’s this?” asked Duh’blo, slipping into his Texas drawl.
“Yea, much better. Sounded a little on the constipated side. No offense, mister.” The man chuckled as he approached.
“Right. Sorry. I don’t… talk. Much. A bit out of practice. Anyway, what brings you into the Bramblewood?”
“Hah!” The man spat, his eyes hard, his grin tight. “The same reason anyone ventures here… leveling! Why else?”
The two met and shook. Duh’blo’s trepidation at social interaction deepened as he glanced down the man’s side to where a rogue’s dagger was sheathed. If there was one thing he had learned from decades of gaming, it was that you could never trust a rogue. Doubly so if they were the smiling type.
“Well met, then!” cried Duh’blo, louder than necessary. “I am Duh’blo the Knight. LVL 25. May I ask your name?”
“Oh, sure,” the man snickered, “Rick the Rogue. LVL 26. Friends call me Tricky Ricky.”
Hoo boy. This fella is trouble on two legs.
“Well, Rick, it’s nice out tonight. Good for hunting. Tell me, what do you make of this party patch? Take on any new spawns?”
“Oh, um, yea, sure, sure,” said Rick, caressing his knife, “I got the ‘ol gang together and we had ourselves a fine time. The loot drops are, er, tremendous! Too bad my friends had to log off a few minutes ago. Real life demands, ya know?”
“Oh, I hear you.” Good. I don’t want any PvP shenanigans.
“You find yourself anything nice?”
“Hum. Funny, now that you mention it…”
Duh’blo told Rick of his battle with Fred and the Lesser Lizard’s transformation into a treasure-dropping Gigalizasaurus. He left out the details of his brainless charge and instant incineration. Though Rick seemed bored at first, his eyes lit up when he heard of the one-of-a-kind treasure.
“I’m telling you, Fred is out there! I have a good feeling about the riches he’ll drop. All I need is someone willing to help out. I’ll… happily share the loot with you.”
“Well, I was about to log off, but you’ve convinced me. Hmm, a knight and a rogue. You arm yourself well?”
Duh’blo brandished his greatsword. Its jade-mounted pommel and intricate silver engraving sparkled in the moonlight.
“Oh baby, that’s a fine sharp stick.” Speaking faster, he said, “I’ll engage and disable the mob so we can dodge his fireballs. You smack him and draw aggro, and take care not to catch fire. That’ll allow me to stealth and land critical blows from behind until the beast croaks.” He drew a finger across his throat.
“I was actually thinking I could do everything on my own. I just need another person in my party--”
“Nonsense,” Rick interjected. “Why would you torture yourself? Let’s do it fast, quick and proper-like. I have Tracking leveled from when I was a noob and spammed Ranger. You know, you’re lucky to have found me. With my skill, we’ll find it in no time!”
“Well,” Duh’blo hesitated, “okay. We can try it your way.”
QUEST SHARED Party formed. Duh’blo the Knight and Rick the Rogue are now duoing.
“Brilliant!” The rogue’s eyes glazed as he scrolled through his skill menu, then perked up. “Okay, I’ve spotted him, long ways off.” He set off with the slinking stride of a rogue who had played for years. Clearly this wasn’t his first rodeo.
Feeling wary, Duh’blo called after him, “Hey, Rick!”
The rogue stopped, cocked his head. “Yeh?!”
“No funny business, right?”
The rogue smiled. “Wouldn’t dream of it! What sort of person would take advantage of a friendly soul in a game like this?”
Duh’blo was not relieved. But what choice did he have? He would see his quest through to the end.
----------------------------------------
The night deepened. An owlfiend hooted. Knight and rogue trod through thick forest shrubbery, occasionally cutting through the foliage. They passed all manner of passive mobs: entfolk, wandering saplings, crown-antlered bucks, even a few baby mandragora. Nothing that would bother them.
As far as Duh’blo could tell, Rick knew where he was going. The rogue would occasionally stop to cast Tracking, confer with his map, correct their course, then set off again with a confident wink.
Rick peppered Duh’blo with banter, speculating on how the Party Patch might change things, glorying in his accomplishments, lamenting his class being underpowered (which they both knew was poppycock). The knight listened, but felt no need to humor the man or reciprocate conversation, given they would be parting shortly. Best to avoid getting entangled with a such a shady guy.
Hours passed, and Duh’blo became less certain of his partner’s proficiency in Tracking. The rogue had taken to throwing daggers at baby rabbits. “Rick, how close are we to finding Fred?”
“Ah, I thought you’d never ask. You are certainly more patient than me, I’d have been complaining the entire time if I was having to ride caboose. Well, good news! He’s headed in the same direction as us, but we’ve made good time. We are minutes away from our prey.”
Duh’blo’s heartbeat quickened as he unstrapped his greatsword. “Minutes you say?! Alright old chap, are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be, my shiny friend. He’s right at the edge of the woods. I’ll stealth to get the drop with my debuffs, and we proceed with the plan.”
Shortly, the pair cleared the Bramblewood. The foothills of the Altimandor Mountains spread before them. The moon was setting behind Mount Altiman, silhouetting the snowy peak in black shadow. A grassy plain ran headlong into a sheer crag that looked freshly exposed by a rockslide, populated by lone boulders here and there.
Duh’blo pumped his fist. “That dead end! The creature will be surrounded with nowhere to go Great work, Rick. ...Where is he?”
The rogue glanced around in confusion. “He should be here. I’m going to scout ahead. You keep your eyes peeled.”
“Wait, Rick. This is open terrain, why can’t we already see him… ?”
But the rogue was already gone.
Dozens of years playing MMORPGs suddenly had Duh’blo on high alert. I knew this was too good to be true. Now to try and deflect the knife in my back. The knight began turning in circles, avoiding keeping his back in one place.
Minutes ticked by. Duh’blo saw nothing. Normally, this would be the natural order of things for the knight, an enjoyable solitude, but not tonight. He figured he’d been had. But why was the rogue taking so long to strike? Was he simply trolling Duh’blo, leading him here and telling him to stay put, then striking off again as one big practical joke? Why go through the trouble of walking for hours through the forest then?
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Rick popped up beside Duh’blo, nearly giving the knight a heart attack.
“Sorry, was having a spot of trouble. Still haven’t pinpointed the mob, have you?”
“Blimey, I nearly jumped out of my armor! For heaven’s sakes, no, I haven’t seen Fred. Sheesh, where were you?”
The rogue glanced away. “I, ah, got distracted with some personal business."
“Well, you could have told me. I thought you’d… well, if you’ll forgive the expression… gone rogue! No offense.
“None taken. Hey, I checked Tracking. The beast is behind a boulder near that cliff.”
“What?” Duh’blo peered at the darkly-shaded enclave. “Are you sure?”
“Totally. Let’s execute the plan. I’ll invis one more time, and we advance together. Ready?” The rogue smiled.
Perhaps because of that smile, or the rogue’s strange behavior, or his suspicions reaching a boiling point, but whatever the case, Duh’blo did not agree. Without stopping to think, he did the rudest thing possible: a taboo action that would alienate most players on the spot, sunder friendships and create enemies, a game ability that was common practice long ago but now was a grave sin; an act many had petitioned to remove and most had signed a treaty to never utilize.
He inspected Rick.
“W-what are you d-doing?” Rick stammered, holding himself as though to cover up. Rifling through his character sheet past a slurry of assassination abilities, Duh’blo beheld Rick’s gear.
Hasting Boots LVL 24 Stolen from Arlewyl the Fleet. Thinning Belt LVL 23 Stolen from Helga the Fair. Woodland Camouflage Tunic LVL 26 Stolen from Japhet the Shadowborn. Refined Courtman’s Gloves LVL 25 Stolen from Zalosh the Emissary.
“H-how dare you!” shouted Rick, blocking further inspection.
“Color me not surprised,” Duh’blo said. “You can stop with the act, Rick. I can see what you’re about.”
The rogue’s face went stony. “How long have you known?"
“Oh, I had my suspicions. Rogues never help out so readily unless they are certain of a payout. More than that, when I passed through the forest a few days ago to my favorite soloing location, I ran into quite a few other players. But they were all missing during tonight. Coincidence? Maybe they all happened to have real life plans tonight. Doubtful.” Duh’blo spat. “It was you, right?”
The rogue started laughing uproariously.
“W-what? I was right, wasn’t I? What’s so funny?”
“Haha, hoooo… your name. It’s so moronic! Along with your solo leveling! Everything about you screams ‘backwards bumpkin.’ I took you for an easy mark, and you had me convinced that you were right--up until now. Bravo! I don’t mind being off, especially when the truth is hilarious. But I should also point out that you’re wrong.”
“Wrong?!”
“I didn’t take out those players. Well, I laid the plans to. But I didn’t do the dirty work. Those guys did.” And Rick pointed a thumb over his shoulder at the woods. All was still.
“I-I don’t see anyone.” Duh’blo slashed nervously at the air.
“Right, well, you know. Rogue things. Lurking in the shadows. You can’t trust us, we’re filth, yadda yadda and so forth.” He flourished his hand in the air, then cupped it to an ear. “Oh, hear that? Right on schedule. Took me a while to wake them up for this. Was too great an opportunity to pass up.”
“Wake who up?”
The earth began to shake under their feet. Crashing noises emanated from deep in the woods. Whatever was making the racket was coming closer.
“What opportunity?!” cried Duh’blo.
“Why, you!”
Rick reached into his trouser pocket and took out a small, amber object that looked like a seashell. The object pulsed faintly in his hand. The Misanthrope realized the rogue had been playing with it in the forest clearing.
“Link Konch. I got this drop off a treasure mob me and the crew took down earlier. Lets me ping their phones in real life. Normally the devs don’t allow such direct interaction, but they really seem to be going all-out with this patch. Sure is a treat for us PvPers.”
“Why do this to me, Rick? I really was going to split the treasure with you!”
“Oh, I know. I was actually going to humor you, but as soon as I started Tracking that dumb treasure mob it began warping every time I’d ping its location. Jumping miles. Orneriest thing I’ve ever seen. Probably can’t be Tracked. You have to stumble on it using dumb luck. I ain’t got time for that.”
Rick smiled, pointed at Duh’blo’s greatsword. “But that weapon? It’s stayed put the whole time. That’ll fetch a pretty penny in the auction house, I’m sure.”
Gosh darn it, Rick, this is why I don’t play with other people. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Oh, I suppose not,” Rick whispered, “but I messed up a critical raid with my gang today and am out of favor. You do what you have to do to please people. And your sacrifice will satisfy their avarice, their bloodlust.”
Duh’blo dropped into battle stance, targeting Rick. “I’ll cut you if you get near me! Don’t take me for a pushover!”
“Oh, I don’t! That’s why I brought friends. It’s been nice partying with you, Duh’blo. If only we’d met under different circumstances, hahaha...” The rogue faded.
The tremor in the earth now seemed to shake the very air.
What trickery is this?
At the forest’s edge, two people appeared. Rogues. Rick’s gang. They waved mockingly at Duh’blo, then dodged back into the woods. The rumbling crescendoed until it rivaled the crashing of ocean waves, the roar of a rock concert, the chaotic clamoring of a...
Oh. A train. Rootin’ tootin’ eff.
The trees at the forest’s edge shook and cracked and fell as a stampede of monsters careened through, a mob that was frenzied and agitated and absolutely terrifying. Entmothers and spotted leopards and kinghorns and, by God, elefants (There are elefants in this zone? Since when?!) Rogues blinked in and out of their midst, slashing at their flanks, shouting obscenities. Another handful kept to the edges, striking out at any uncooperatives and herding the stampede in their desired direction.
Right toward Duh’blo. He didn’t even bother lifting his sword.
In the seconds before the beastial tidal wave swept over him, the Misanthrope had time to think: Why not just zerg rush me as a gang and be done with it? Then he remembered that this was a limited PvP zone that allowed only for duels, which he was outfitted and trained to excel at. This was Rick’s workaround.
Hum. Clever.
Then the mob of mobs was on him, sweeping him into the air like a child’s plaything. As he spun about, a tusk punctured his armor and his right arm went numb. His sword went flying. He fell to the ground, was trodden on by all manner of hooves and toes and claws, sending his HP plummeting. An elefant’s massive foot executed the coup de grâce.
You have been stomped by a LVL 53 Elefant! HP -3756 (Overkill!) YOU HAVE DIED. XP -1340. LVL 25, XP: -1093/13400 DE-LEVEL!!! LVL 24, LVL XP: 11207/12300
----------------------------------------
Duh’blo had no choice but to hang around as a ghost for some time. The nearest shrine was an hour away, and besides, he wanted to memorize these rogues’ faces. He knelt a ways from his beaten corpse, watching as they popped into existence.
They took everything. Scavenged every piece of gear, gold, even the minor potions. The greatsword--which represented nearly all of his savings--went last.
Rick knelt, lifted it effortlessly. He whistled. “Phew! It really is light as air! A fine haul.” Though he couldn’t see or sense Duh’blo in spirit form, he nonetheless surmised his presence and addressed him, putting on a show for his gang. “Tough luck, knight. You should have followed your instincts. Rogues in lower level zones are usually up to no good. Don’t hate the player… hate the game! Nothing personal… old chap!”
He and his kin chuckled and disappeared into the night.
Duh’blo was in no rush to rez. Knowing rogues, one of them might hang back just to strike him down once more. I won’t give them the satisfaction. I died an honorable death. The rogue was right… what was I thinking, trying to play with others? What has this party patch done for me? A won battle resulting in my death, an entire night wasted walking, zerg rushed mercilessly, everything I own looted from my corpse, and a de-level to boot. I swear, the devs have it out for me.
Duh’blo was silent for a time. The earth around him was trampled. Green grass uprooted everywhere, red mud strewn willy-nilly. The train had dispersed after doing its grizzly work. Over the forest, the sky was brightening, the stars winking out. The peak of Mount Altiman glowed a dull red.
Maybe there is no room in MMORPGs for solo players like me anymore. Maybe I should just... quit.
The Misanthrope lingered over his corpse a few more minutes, then shook his head. If Edward were alive to see me, he’d laugh and laugh until his ribs ached. Look at me! Lingering as a ghost in a virtual world. I’m the lucky one--I yet draw breath. I need to snap out of it.
Materializing in plain-clothes, Duh’blo took stock. “In a challenging zone, now under-leveled, no armor or weapon. I suspect I’m done here. Going to have to backtrack and grind for some money… perhaps start in the Blasted Canyons? Ah, that place is sweltering! But beggars can’t be choosers. Or what if I…”
The knight trailed off as Frederick the Gigalizasaurus ambled out of the woods, sniffing the air like he hadn’t a care in the world.
“Well, I’ll be an armadillo caught swimmin’ in a waterin’ hole…” said Duh’blo, lapsing into Texan. Dumbfounded, he watched as Fred meandered by. The creature stopped to scratch at the upturned earth, but seemed otherwise content to wander aimlessly.
“You’re a bigger troll than that Rick fella, ya know that Fred!” shouted Duh’blo. “Fat lotta good you’ve done me! Got me killed twice, ya did! And you don’t even realize it, that’s the sad part! Why you have to show up and taunt me like this?”
The monstrous lizard looked up briefly at the shouting knight and smiled, then returned to his foraging.
“Like a bloody idiot savant, that one,” muttered Duh’blo, recovering his poise.
“Oy, what’cher language!”
Duh’blo rounded in shock.
The sun was rising. In the radiant morning light, mere paces away, stood a teenage girl with her hands on her hips, leaning forward and glaring at him. The white of her cleric’s robes glowed like the snow-capped mountains. Despite the outfit’s formal air, she had a mess of neon-green hair to her waist. As he squinted at her, Duh’blo realized the girl’s severity was an act; her eyes smiled.
“Lady, as you can see for yourself, I’ve had a rough evening. Please spare me your mockery.”
“Aww, I meant it in good humor,” she said, her imitation of his lousy, Texan-infused British accent disappearing, “I like your accent! I enjoy me a good bout of roleplaying myself! And if I found myself in my plain-clothes without a coin to my name, I’d want someone to cheer me up. Take a little of the edge off, you know?”
“Not to be gruff, but I’m not one to look to for a shoulder to cry on.”
She sniggered. “Who said anything about shoulders? Sheesh, you’re a melodramatic fellow, aren’t you?”
Duh’blo puffed out his chest. “Am not! Don’t you think you’re presuming too much, judging me with but a look and turn of words, and…”
Her laughter drowned him out. “Ahahaha, you are a darling. We’re going to have fun together, you and I.”
“What do you mean, we?”
“I’m LVL 23, a stone’s throw away from your LVL 24. Party with me!”
“We’ve only just met. And I have no weapon, no clothes. I’m not even good company… I dislike other people!”
“Ahahaha! How scary. Are you threatening to dislike sweet little Jynn?” She clasped her hands and batted her eyes at Duh’blo. “Besides, you gave that rogue a chance with hardly a second thought.”
“I… I…” The knight’s shoulders slumped. “I mean, you do seem insufferably cute. Wait. How do you know about Rick?”
“Oh, I have my ways. Same way I already know your name is Duh’blo. And it’s a fine name, in my humble opinion. So what do you say? Let’s hang out and level! How about we start with that fire-breathing dude over there?”
“What? Fred?! He roasted me when I was well-equipped. Without gear, I’m worthless against him. And no offense, but you’re a healer. You won’t be able to carry.”
The girl snorted. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
Jaw set, Jynn tossed him a dueling cane. “You know how to use one of those?”
“Um, not very well. I never bothered to level polearms.”
“You know how to swing it?”
“Well, of course.”
“Good enough!” Jynn grinned again, wielding her own cleric’s staff. “I’m going to give you magic armor so you can tank for us. We don’t need your damage, just your ability to take a few blows. You’ll be able to dodge attacks far more easily in those plain-clothes than your heavy armor.”
“Are you nuts?!” Duh’blo hissed. “Your plan isn’t viable! Let me repeat, you don’t have the damage.”
Jynn rolled her eyes. “Guys are so uncreative sometimes.” She walked up to Duh’blo, put an arm on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “I know I’m asking for a lot out of nowhere, but… can you trust me?”
Duh’blo froze. His mind went back to another time, another game. Edward. His guild leader and closest friend. They had been prepping for the ultimate boss, the World Ender. Every other guild had failed to defeat him, and he was only growing stronger.
“Eddy, there’s no way we win this. We’re gonna wipe. We’ll be a laughing stock throughout the realm!”
Eddy had laughed--always the cheerful one, always giggling, like this girl Jynn--and said, “No way. I have a plan. Can you trust me?” And he’d led them to victory against the World Ender. The guild went legendary that day, and Duh’blo felt like his heart would burst with pride and admiration.
That was a lifetime ago. Edward had passed on. It had been a long time since Duh’blo had trusted. But looking into this strange girl’s crimson eyes, full of confidence and passion, he felt a stirring he thought he’d never feel again. “I… I can try.”
QUEST SHARED Jynn the Cleric has joined the party.
Jynn giggled. “Good enough for me! And good for you, too. That whole ‘my dog just died’ look doesn’t suit you. You’re much more handsome when you’re hopeful.”
Duh’blo blushed. She’s not that bad, this girl. Obnoxiously prying, loud-mouthed, but not bad.
Jynn pointed her staff at Duh’blo and closed her eyes. A white glow surrounded her.
Jynn casts Lightveil on you. You gained a 780 HP shield that absorbs incoming damage.
White, translucent light shimmered above his skin, like water reflecting sunlight.
Whoa. She’s adept. That shield can tank more than double my base 342 HP. Can we actually pull this off? I mean, that doesn’t account for how we’ll actually deal damage. Yes, being in a party will negate that dumb Ultimate Hardiness passive, yet that’s only a starting point. I want to believe, but I don’t see how we can do this.
“Mmm, that one has dragon’s blood in him, don’t he?” asked Jynn.
Fred had run into the rock edifice, was belching flames as though he could burn his way through the cliff face. Flames deflected across the surface in spurts, and lava had begun to flow as superheated rock melted.
“That’s what I was thinking when he respawned. Went from a tame Lesser Lizard to that monstrosity,” Duh’blo said.
“You get hit by his flames earlier, hun?”
“Went right through my armor and roasted me alive. A little under 500 damage.”
“So my Lightveil can absorb a single hit for you, and will break under a second strike. A third blow will kill you. Sound about right?”
“Huh. Yes, your logic works out. What about your healing?”
“I can’t use healing magic on your shield. Only your HP. And because his attack one-shots you, my heals are useless here. Casting Lightsveil in battle will take too long and derail my plan, so we have to rely on your increased mobility to dodge attacks.”
“Well, I do have max dodge skill since I rely on it so much when I solo…”
“Perfect. This should be easy. Just whack him with that dueling cane to keep aggro--it’s enchanted just for that purpose--and keep light on your feet. You’re gonna have to dance. I’ll start chipping away at him with my magic.”
“You sure you can deal enough? He probably has mad health regen, if he really is part dragon.”
“Oh, definitely. Remember, trust me. I’ve been around the block a few times. Let’s do this!”
“Brilliant,” Duh’blo said as he hefted the polearm, feeling foolish. Armed with a training weapon in his plain-clothes, approaching a boss-class mob 7 levels higher than him. I must be bonkers, he thought. But he did not falter.
“Oy, lizard-brain!”
Fred stopped trying to melt his way through the mountain and rounded on Duh’blo. The creature pondered the knight curiously.
“My arch-nemesis,” Duh’blo, said, “remember me?!”
Fred stared without comprehension.
“We have unfinished business, you and I. No more cheating your way to victory, hear me? I brought company, so your trickery will not save you.”
With a shrug, Fred turned back around and set to melting rock once more.
“You think me an unworthy foe?! So be it! Your arrogance shall be your undoing!”
With a roar, Duh’blo ran at the Gigalizasaurus--he felt surprisingly fast without his cumbersome armor--and whacked him on the backside.
A childish blow. Party check confirmed: Frederick the Gigalizasaurus’ Ultimate Hardiness bypassed! HP -2.
Smashing. That should get his attention.
The creature howled. It bent down and slurped up the lava pooling at its feet. Its skin crackled with heat as molten metal coursed through its veins. Fred then turned and unleashed a barrage of flames at the knight.
Frederick the Gigalizasaurus gains Fire Blood enhancement. Fire attribute and health doubled. Frederick the Gigalizasaurus casts Fireball. You dodged. The attack misses.
Duh’blo narrowly rolled out of the way of the fiery onslaught. A fireball arced over his shoulder and exploded near the forest’s edge. Smoke billowed into the air, obscuring the woods behind them. Between the cinders and smoke behind him and the waterfall of lava before him, Duh’blo could no longer recognize this hellish place as the serene Bramblewood. Fred had modified the terrain, claimed it as his own personal arena.
“Double fire attribute?! Jynn!” Duh’blo called. “I can only take two hits now--get to work. Please!”
Nearby, the green-haired cleric nodded slightly, a look of concentration on her brow.
Jynn casts Dia. Frederick the Gigalizasaurus takes holy damage. HP -37.
“T-that’s all?! Oh, bloody--” Duh’blo somersaulted through the air as another fireball passed beneath his feet. The few tufts of grass left from the earlier stampede sizzled. The air around him shimmered from the heat. His nose hairs singed as he took in a sharp, uncomfortable breath.
Smoke inhalation affliction. You are slowly losing health. -10 HP every minute.
“Hey, this environment is going hostile! We can’t spend forever fighting. If the fireballs don’t get us, we’ll suffocate!”
“Hold out! We need to get him more pissed off.”
“What?! Why?!”
“Just do it!”
“Gyaaaaah!” yelled Duh’blo in frustration. He didn’t like not knowing the plan, and his instincts screamed that this was suicidal. But the girl reminded him so much of Edward. He couldn’t help but slip into old ways and do as she asked.
In his haste, Duh’blo ran at Fred more linearly. His impatience was rewarded with a fireball to the face.
Your Lightveil absorbs the Fireball and takes 941 damage. The Lightveil breaks.
He skidded backward as his magic shield crackled and shimmered, absorbing the raw damage and momentum of the projectile. Spent, the shield hardened and fell off his body like a flaking eggshell. The black shards hit the earth, evaporated in puffs of ash.
“Duh’blo! You can do better than that! C’mon,” Jynn said.
Stupid. Keep cool and think. I won’t get a second chance.
The plain-clothed knight lunged out of the way of another stream of fire, then rose and advanced. As Fred attacked, Duh’blo analyzed his pattern. He may be crazy-overpowered, but he still has built-in predictability. If I can figure it out… there!
Duh’blo dodged preemptively, and for the first time, the fireball didn’t come close to hitting him. “I’ve got it! You can see lava rush under the surface of his skin right before he spews it out. It’s a tell!"
“Good job! Stay alive!” shouted Jynn as she peppered the dragon-lizard with holy magic. They both knew that the creature’s regen would likely outpace her damage.
Duh’blo cast his doubts aside and weaved to and fro, closing the gap until he entered close combat range with Fred. He lunged, delivered a rap between the creature’s eyes.
A smart blow. HP -5.
He continued to duck and weave around the Gigalizasaurus, poking and prodding like a mosquito. Irritating it, keeping its attention on him as Jynn stood at a safe distance and chipped futilely away at its HP. Spinning in circles, trying to stay locked on, Fred could not keep up with Duh’blo’s speed. Minutes ticked by. Duh’blo was soaked in sweat, gasping. He figured Jynn must be nearly out of mana.
This is a stalemate. Neither of us can hurt the other, but we’re slowly losing HP from the environment. Something has to give.
“KREEE-YAAAAH!!!”
Frederick the Gigalizasaurus casts Combat Evolution. Frederick the Gigalizasaurus is now a Gigadragon!
Wings of black flame erupted from Fred’s back. His snout elongated and filled with razor sharp teeth. Stumpy arms and legs broadened, the curving claws growing longer than Duh’blo’s lost greatsword. His body grew immensely, distended in a rush of molten metal that hardened into a scarlet dragon carapace.
All traces of the cartoonish lizard disappeared, even the playful gleam in its eyes going murderous. Fred was a now a full-fledged dragon, the likes of which LVL 99s battled at the end of the world. With a swift beat of his wings, he shot a hundred feet into the air, out of range of both knight and cleric. The dragon eyed him carnivorously.
Fred… grew up…
Duh’blo dropped his now useless dueling cane. The battle was over. There was nothing he could do against an airborne enemy--they simply didn’t exist in these lower level zones. The game didn’t equip knights with combat abilities to fight them until the mid-50’s.
“We are so dead. Want we try making a break for it?”
Duh’blo glanced back at Jynn and saw her grinning madly. What?
“Stand your ground. We have him right where we want him,” she said.
“W-what?! Are you crazy? We’re toast! If you run now, maybe you can make it into the woods and hide while I--”
“I said, stand your ground!”
Those crimson eyes of hers. Just like Edward.
“F-fine!”
Above, the gigadragon reached out its claws and began to channel. Lava from the cliffside arced into the air in streams and pooled in a ball of light at the dragon’s maw, shrinking into an orb of raw energy as bright as the sun. Chunks of earth and rock floated upward, drawn by the sheer gravitational force of that compacted mass.
Gigadragon is readying Volcanic Beam.
Duh’blo laughed as he faced down the dragonspawn before him. A terrifying, overpowered anomaly--using an end-game ability--that capped a very strange day. Oh well, he thought, we tried. And if I’m being honest with myself…
“Jynn.”
“Mmm?”
“Thank you for this experience. I think… even though we lost, I think… I actually had fun partying with you. So... thank you.”
She didn’t reply.
Duh’blo turned and saw her eyes closed, hands clasped, ignoring him. Channeling something. Go figure, I get all sentimental and pour my heart out and get ignored. Don’t know what I was expecting. Well, time to experience what it feels like to be barbeque.
GIGADRAGON CASTS VOLCANIC BEAM!
“NOT TODAY, SONNY BOY!” screamed Jynn.
Jynn casts Reflect: Special Twink Ability.
The beam of primordial energy hurtled down at Duh’blo. Before his eyes, an emerald shell of interlocking hexagons sprung up. Through the filter of the shield, he saw the beam approach as though in slow motion. This is it.
Volcanic beam is reflected!
Beam met shell, and reversed direction.
The ball of energy bounced and shot back up in a blur, accelerated exponentially, an arrow of light. In a blinding flash, it pierced the gigadragon through the heart and passed through the other side of its carapace, rocketing into space.
VOLCANIC BEAM STRIKES GIGADRAGON! 17,489 DAMAGE! GIGADRAGON DIES. (OVERKILL.) QUEST COMPLETED Level up! You are now LVL 25. XP +5780 (Capped). LVL 25, XP: 4687/13400
The creature roared a last time and died. Its wings puffed out like a candle flame as it fell to earth, crashing to the ground near Duh’blo. The molten fire coursing through its veins ceased flowing and hardened into black steel. The knight dropped to his knees. As he watched, flakes of ash peeled off the dragon’s corpse and floated away, a cloud of suspended motes. The process sped up until nothing was left except its skeleton--and within, gleaming--a treasure chest.
Jynn walked up beside Duh’blo and patted him reassuringly. “You were awesome, dude. Just awesome.”
Startled from his trance, Duh’blo looked up at the cleric’s perfectly composed face. “Me? You were incredible. I’m still trying to process what just went down. H-how did you know he would cast such a crazy ability? And how in the world do you know such a strong ‘Reflect’ spell?”
“Mmmmm, let’s just say I’ve been around the block a few times. You pick things up here and there. And speaking of pick-ups…” Jynn nodded in the direction of the treasure chest. “Take it.”
“What? Me? You’re messing with me. You did all the real work! I spent the entire time running around, trying not to let that thing light my underwear on fire while whacking it with a pool toy--”
“Duh’blo! Stop that, you goof! Stop selling yourself short. You did exactly what your party needed you to do. All that crazy ducking and weaving? I can’t remember the last time I saw such agility. You. Were. Awesome.”
Duh’blo didn’t know what to say. It had been so long since anyone had told him they admired him, appreciated him. So long since he’d felt happy spending time with another person. His chest felt abnormally tight and his breathing came fast. “Jynn, I-I--”
“You were awesome. And I wasn’t too shabby myself. Let’s get on with playing, aye? I believe you have a treasure chest over there with your name on it.”
“Oh, does he now?”
Rick the Rogue appeared out of thin air between the duo and the dragon-bone-ornamented chest. He tossed a dagger in mid-air and caught it, then bowed. “Ta-daaaah! My contribution to this endeavor. Well, that and bringing Duh’blo here in the first place. Why, without me, he would never have had the dumb luck of running into that treasure mob! I didn’t get XP, so it only seems fair that I get the lion’s share of the treasure, don’t you think?” He grinned malevolently.
Duh’blo’s tender passion flared with anger. “Rick! You troll! Are you seriously going to pull a stunt like this?”
“Oh, but you shared your quest with me, Duh’blo. I never dropped it, and now that the creature is dead, I’m entitled to something as I choose, see?” And he flashed his quest screen before them. He had indeed received credit for defeating Fred. “The rules are the rules, after all. And you’re all about rules, aren’t you?”
“This is low. This is really low, really scummy, really--”
Jynn laid two fingers on the knight’s lips. “Let me handle this.” She walked in front of him and addressed the rogue. “No, sorry. Duh’blo is right. I’m afraid you’ll want to relinquish your claim on the treasure.”
Rick sniggered. “Pardon? I’ll do no such thing. I’ll have what’s coming to me and mine.”
“Darn right you will,” Jynn whispered, then turned to Duh’blo. “Get back to the forest edge. Now.” He did as she suggested--she had already convinced him that she knew what she was doing.
“What’s that?” asked Rick, not hearing her.
“I told him, I’m gonna convince you to let go of your claim. I challenge you--and your gang, they’re here, right?--to a PvP duel! Standard rule set. If you win, you get the treasure. If I win, you relinquish your claim and get the heck out of here.”
Rick chortled, cracking the knuckles of his pale fingers as his band of thieves appeared by his side, weapons brandished. Like jackals, they licked their lips in anticipation of an easy feast. “Oh, you have a lot of fire and fury, don’t you missie? Well, that sounds like a fine deal to me. I accept.”
Duel: Jynn the Cleric vs Rick the Rogue and Company.
“Perfect.” Before anyone could move, Jynn plunged her hand into her satchel and withdrew a hollow glass orb. Dark energies swirled in a vortex inside the vessel’s confines. She smashed the orb on the ground and the energy flooded around her in a cyclone of rainbow tendrils.
“Change job to wizard!” she cried.
LVL 24 Cleric becomes LVL 99 Wizard! Your disguise breaks! Name change: Jynn is actually Elrenda the Cunning!
From the trees, Duh’blo staggered. “Holy cow. It’s Elrenda.” A legendary player, one of the Elite Eight that had been around since Day 1 of Azure. She was touted as a master strategist, arguably the most wily and sly player on the server. She also had a habit of twinking--disguising her main and leveling in low zones--and relishing in more casual gameplay and socialization.
Rick and his gang froze on the spot. “Y-you tricked us into this.” Fear ran wild in the rogues’ eyes. “Elrenda, please, we meant no harm… we just enjoy playing the game our way, that’s all…”
“Mhmm. So do I, hun. No hard feelings. METEOR!”
The sky flashed. A sliver of heaven hurted down over Mount Altiman, clipping the peak and changing the landscape forever. The rogues had no time to react as the meteor plummeted like a bullet, a mass of energy that dwarfed the gigabeam from earlier, and landed directly on their heads. The resulting explosion rose a hundred feet.
Elrenda casts Meteor! 99,999 damage! Rick and company dies. (OVERKILL.) Per terms of the duel, Rick abandons quest loot claim.
As the dust cleared, Duh’blo rejoined Jynn--no, Elrenda!--and marveled at her handiwork. Perturbations within the wall of smoke revealed the ghostly forms of the rogues. They were fleeing in the direction of the far-away shrine--clearly, they had no desire to try resurrecting anywhere near her.
“They’ll think twice before messing with random adventurers in the Bramblewood,” Elrenda said. She paused. “Oh, stop staring at me. It’s annoying. And a perfectly good disguise broken! You know how hard those are to obtain? Though I’ll admit, it went to good use. That was fun.”
She spoke quickly. Elrenda--fair, red-haired, clothed in a simple ebony gown with golden accents--stared at Duh’blo with a smirk. She was decades older than the teenage girl she had masqueraded as, much closer to Duh’blo’s own age, and shared the same crimson eyes.
“T-thank you, Elrenda. I--”
“Please, please, please call me Jynn. I hate playing on my main these days. Everyone is obsessed with grinding loot for the smallest fractional gain. So boring. Always asking me to go on raids and tryhard, all militaristic discipline... no laughter, no goofing around… no, please, call me Jynn. That’s who I want you to know me as.”
“Well… okay then,” said Duh’blo, grinning. “I dunno, today has been… wild. The craziest day of my life, even. This was… fun!”
“Heck ya!” cried Jynn, high-fiving the knight. “That’s what I like to hear! That was great, seeing those miscreants scurrying like ants. Satisfying. You’re a good guy. You deserve better than to be screwed by the likes of them.”
“Thanks, Jynn. I… can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I kinda wish we could keep partying together.”
“Mmm.” The wizard surveyed him. “Well, first thing’s first, go claim your treasure!”
“Oh, right!”
The smoke had cleared. The dragon bones had vaporized under the meteor’s onslaught, but owing to its special magical properties, the treasure chest remained. The wood was Eldencraft, the gilding reinforcement smithed by the gods themselves. Duh’blo hesitantly lifted the lid and reached into the chest, retrieving a formless weapon that blurred and shifted forms rapidly in his hands.
“What’s this?!”
Party Patch treasure! Orion’s Fluxblade. This weapon is soulbound across all accounts and scales with level and job. If lost, call it by name to add it back to your inventory. Only usable when grouped. Attributes vary unpredictably.
“This thing is nuts,” Duh’blo said. “It seems so different from ordinary weapons. Attributes vary?”
“Yea, I’ve never seen anything like that. That weapon is truly unique. One-of-a-kind. You gonna equip it?”
“Sure.” The knight held the formless hilt in battle stance. The Fluxblade lengthened and broadened into a greatsword made of rust-colored metal that glowed blue on the edges. It crackled with lightning. Experimentally, Duh’blo swung it at the empty chest. The blade pierced through and electricity arced across its surface, scouring wild patterns into the wood. He smiled. “Wow. What a beauty.”
“Sure is. So… now what? You got yourself a fancy weapon with special restrictions… think you’ll toss it aside and return to your solo leveling ways? Or, better idea! Would you care to keep partying with me?” Jynn winked at him.
It’ll be weird to abandon my way of doing things, thought Duh’blo. I’m a bit uncomfortable, but this weapon, this exciting day… and this woman… ignoring her reputation, she just strikes me like someone I’d want to hang out with. I mean, why not give it a shot?
“What do you have in mind?” asked Duh’blo.
“Hmm. Do you still trust me?”
“Well, I have so far, and everything has worked out.”
“Sweet! So listen, I have this crazy idea that involves the two of us really going off the deep end…”
As the rising sun warmed the day and birdsong filtered through the canopy, the pair set off through the Bramblewood without a destination in mind. Just talking, making plans, creating new possibilities. Looking outward instead of inward. For the first time in a long time, Duh’blo was uncertain what his adventure would bring next. And he didn’t even mind. He had found a friend to share it with.