...

Months Before the Nine-Fire Visit

Sarah followed Aro through the Estate, where Alexander and Narsiz were learning how girls would manipulate them—a problem she heard many boys had regarding rendezvous since girls were usually more aggressive.

'Why am I nervous?'

Her mind was in turmoil, a sensation she couldn't comprehend. It made her anxious, twisting her stomach into knots.

It was strange since she would only help her brothers resist girls, especially since they were still premature, mentally and physically. In contrast, the Nine-Fire girls would be much older and probably have more experience.

However, when she thought about acting out how other girls would probably behave toward them—seducing them in the most despicable and aggressive ways—she felt an unnatural warmth spread through her body.

'Am I blushing?!'

She touched her cheeks, feeling the heat rise as she imagined pushing Alexander against the wall, her face close to his.

Was it because the idea of seducing Alex intrigued her? However, she quickly let go of that thought, as it felt wrong to force or manipulate someone who might not understand what was happening to them.

'It's probably—' She tried to find a way to explain what she felt, quickly coming to a sensible answer, '—I want him to resist them!'

In her mind, it was just her protective instinct kicking in, especially for Alexander, who was still young and naive. The mere thought of him being forced or manipulated made her furious, tightening her chest.

As the door opened, Alexander stepped out, to her surprise, casting a slightly disdainful glance her way.

'What is this sting?'

She suddenly felt downtrodden, even though she didn't show it, 'That's—' Even though she wanted him to stay, she couldn't say it. Letting him go, '—why do I feel sad?'

...

The Day Before the Nine-Fire Arrived

Sarah and Lorient stood in the kitchen, preparing a midnight snack. Usually, they'd chat about the world, but Sarah was deep in thought, unable to concentrate.

"Are you okay?" Lorient asked, eyeing her curiously as she scratched absentmindedly between her legs.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about the Nine-Fire visit—" Sarah's response was half-hearted, distracted by her own thoughts.

"What do you mean?—" Lorient grabbed the ingredients for a sandwich, "—are you excited, too? The fox-kin are usually so beautiful, but that guy that we will have our rendezvous with has a reputation for being quite the whore."

Sarah nodded, not really caring about Fiorello, "It's something else."

"Hmm?—" Lorient mumbled through a mouthful of food, "—What do you mean?"

Sarah hesitated momentarily, frowning, "I'm worried about our boys."

Lorient paused in thought, "Narsiz? Yeah, he's too sensitive and easily manipulated. But with all the guards reporting to Mom, nothing should happen, right?"

Yeah, I was thinking about Narsi—" Sarah glanced at Lorient, who was back to devouring whatever was in the kitchen, "—What about Alex, though?"

Lorient smirked, "What about him? Afraid he'll incinerate the fox-kin girl?"

"Why would he do that?—" Sarah asked cautiously, her mood lifting slightly, "—does he know her somehow?"

"Not that—" Lorient stopped chewing, pondering aloud, "—He's always uncomfortable when we bathe together. So careful when I ask him to wash me—" she shrugged, "—I think he's just... different."

"What do you mean?" Sarah was genuinely curious.

Lorient finished her sandwich and started to make another one, explaining, "He acts ashamed and embarrassed but not aroused like we were with Dad, remember? Whenever I try to give him the comfort we received when I wasn't too crazy, he always panics, saying he doesn't want to. It's weird because I remember smelling Dad's pheromones around mating season, and it felt great."

"Yeah—" Sarah did the same, loving cuddling with her Father around mating season, as it relaxed her when she smelled the pheromones, "—I loved it, too."

While pheromones were there to arouse others, they had a different effect on puppies. They were a way to prepare them—puppies would de-stress and experience it without all the annoying side effects so they wouldn't get too crazy for the first time.

Everyone did it, especially canine kin, who perceived those pheromones strongly, making it a great bonding experience for the family.

However, Alexander seemed uncomfortable with it and needed to be more mature, which would explain something but not all. But, for Sarah, it was something she wasn't too interested in as another question forced itself out of her.

"Do you think he'll fall in love with Patricia?" Sarah gulped, becoming a little nervous after asking.

Lorient chuckled, "Was that her name? Nah! He doesn't care for little girls."

Sarah tilted her head slightly, confused, "What do you mean?"

At last, Lorient turned around with a giant ham in her hands, already having bitten off something of it, "He is fine around Nina but gets weird around more mature-looking girls, acting all strange."

Sarah became even more confused, "Doesn't it mean he likes them more?"

Lorient shook her head, grinning mischievously, "Oh, you are so innocent!"

Sarah rolled her eyes, annoyed by her sister, "Just tell me what you think!"

Lorient chuckled, clearly amused by her outburst, "Listen—" she pointed the ham at her like a sword, "—did you forget that Alex believes Merlin's writings about familial bonds?"

Sarah frowned, clearly remembering that he had the same beliefs, probably after reading his writings. Even though Merlin was seen as a genius and a great sage for their kin, he also had some stupid ideas.

Suddenly, she understood why he acted that way, which made her angry. But before she could explore why she felt that way, Lorient had already cut her thoughts off.

Lorient's smile widened, "Alex is just confused. If someone is interested in someone and believes those ideas, wouldn't they try to avoid them?"

For Sarah, it suddenly made sense. Alexander bathed with their Mother but never with her, flooding her with pleasant warmth.

"And look at you!—" Sarah suddenly turned to Lorient, who approached her comically, "—you with Dad's blood!"

"Dad's blood?"

"Look at you—" Her eyes drifted to Sarah's chest, "—You're really developing fast."

Sarah glanced down, confused as she cared little about it, "I am?"

"Yeah—" Lorient grinned, grabbing one, "—they're already bigger than mine, whoa!"

Sarah blushed, feeling an odd flutter, "Does Alex like this?"

Lorient shrugged, still fondling her breast, "I would say yes since he doesn't want to bathe with you, right?"

That made Sarah happy for some reason, though she couldn't explain why. Her thoughts were interrupted as Lorient continued to tease her, now grabbing her breasts with more force.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Can you stop? It's annoying—" Sarah protested.

Lorient smirked, "How will you fight with those giant milkers? The extra weight will throw off your movements."

Sarah rolled her eyes, pushing Lorient's hands away, "It doesn't matter, as long as Alex likes it."

Lorient tilted her head, "As long as Alex likes it?"

Sarah stared back, confused herself, "I didn't say that."

Lorient shrugged, "So, what do you want to eat? You must be starving."

Sarah nodded, "Well, let me have some of that ham."

"No way! Get your own!"

They continued their midnight snack, but Sarah couldn't stop thinking about Alexander, occasionally glancing down at her own chest.

'Why does this make me so happy?'

...

During the Nine-Fire Visit, After the First Rendevousz

They all sat together, chatting. Sarah couldn't have been happier despite being annoyed by Fiorello. When Patricia punched Alexander, it was clear they wouldn't hit it off—a fact that subconsciously delighted her.

As the conversation flowed, Sarah watched Alexander's annoyed expressions, wishing for something she couldn't quite grasp.

Why didn't he fight back? It bothered her, stirring feelings of frustration and anger. She still didn't understand why she wanted Alexander to dislike Patricia.

Was it selfishness? She wondered if she was just being possessive. But Alexander had always been there for her, supporting her in training and beyond. So, he would never leave her alone, but the idea of him with someone else still made her feel uneasy.

'What's wrong with me?'

Memories of their time together flooded her mind. Being with Alexander inspired her to be better. She deeply admired his relentless drive and refusal to give up.

She loved watching him study or train, pushing himself to the limit. His dedication motivated her to strive for more. Maybe it was because of that reason?

"Sarah?" Janina brought her out of her thoughts.

Realizing she was drifting away from the conversation, she refocused and joined her siblings.

...

After the Assassination Attempt

When Sarah heard the news, it felt like the ground had vanished beneath her feet. Alexander had been attacked by assassins, leaving him scarred and immobile.

She immediately went to him, devoting herself to his care while trying to watch over him, trusting no one else. It went so far that she nearly attacked a maid who got too close to his room. Only the most trusted were allowed near him.

She tended to him meticulously, cleaning his wounds, entertaining him whenever he was awake, and enduring his silly jokes that felt more like a cry for help, masking his pain and distress.

But it wasn't enough.

Alexander looked so fragile, so broken. This was the boy who had always been strong for her, comforting her during her darkest times. Now, he lay there, his body forever disfigured, trying to make her feel better even though his eyes told something else—anxiety and fear.

When he whimpered, asking her to stay, something inside her snapped. Her anger simmered beneath the surface. She never showed it, but it was there, ready to explode.

'I want revenge—' Sarah needed to act, exterminating the actual pest who endangered her family.

...

Shortly after, In Her Mother's office

Sarah knelt before her Mother, her resolve unshaken, her eyes firm and full of bloodthirst, "Let me join the cleansing—" she requested, almost growling as she could barely hold her wrath back, "—I want Fiorello's head."

Her Mother gazed down at her. Instead of reprimanding her, she simply said as stoically as ever, "You may go with Cross and assist him."

"Thank you—" She bowed down, her eyes burning with the desire to enact vengeance.

Despite her previous restrictions, she didn't question why her Mother allowed it. There was only Alexander on her mind, how he opened his eyes slowly, broken, with a sea of blood on the floor. She wished for nothing else than the absolute annihilation of whoever was responsible.

...

During the Cleansing of Wolfsteeth's Underworld

Sarah slammed her shielded fists into a thug, watching him collapse. She glared down at him, "Where is Fio?" Her voice was cold and unforgiving.

The thug coughed up blood, barely able to catch any air, with panic on his face, "I... I don't know who—"

Before he could finish, she channeled [Energy] into her foot, delivering a swift kick, silencing him forever.

'Not enough—' Her resolve was unbreakable. The desire to eliminate anyone who had a hand in hurting Alexander consumed her, making her killings merciless.

"Ms. Sarah, are you alright?" Cross asked, appearing beside her, the other thugs already dead.

She turned to him, her eyes fierce, "Let's continue."

He frowned, "Are you sure?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, annoyed by wasting any more time since she needed to go back soon. Her days were a cycle of hunting down thugs and returning to care for Alexander.

This was her life now—her sole purpose.

"I am fine—" She squinted at Cross, who just huffed in annoyance, turning around and gesturing her to follow.

She didn't reflect on her actions. She only wanted Fiorello's head.

Her mind was a haze, memories fueling her rage. Thinking about it made her want to cry—a weakness she wouldn't allow herself to have. Only Alexander was allowed to cry. She only needed to focus on bringing Fiorello's head back.

...

After Fiorello's Death

In a moment of calm, in the storm of events that had been the last weeks, Sarah could think for the first time and reflect on herself. She felt stranger than usual, and it was becoming worse as if the emptiness in her chest grew.

Sarah sat in her room, lost in her thoughts with her eyes closed. She should have felt satisfied that Fiorello was gone. She should have celebrated, been elated, and relaxed like Alexander, but there was it again—emptiness.

When she visited him the last time, she saw him with Patricia, who was clearly in love with him. She was obsessively trying to make him love her, bonding to a degree that would even make Sarah uncomfortable.

However, Patricia knew her limits clearly. Otherwise, their household would have another unexpected assassination attempt.

"Alex—" she whispered, clenching her hands.

Something inside Sarah wished to be in Patricia's place, having the courage to do what she did—just lie beside him, not letting him any chance to escape.

Even her Mother allowed it, wanting to cause Alexander to become more open, adapt his behavior gradually, and let him experience a more natural bonding.

When he could remove all those barriers, he could connect more deeply with them, enjoy their scents more openly, and even—her thoughts stopped, making something inside her mind snap.

"He could love me—" Saying it aloud suddenly brought tears to her eyes. The revelation made her finally understand why she had felt this way for years.

"Damn it!—" She cried in frustration, falling forward as her stomach suddenly twisted forcefully, making her vomit.

"Fuck—" After emptying her stomach and wiping the puke from her mouth, her whole body convulsed in pain at the thought of never being able to be together with him.

Sarah made a horrible mistake, gripping her chest, wanting to rip her heart out. She waited too long to confront her feelings, constantly pushing them away, seeing as it could be just love she had for her siblings, her Father, or any other stupid notion she decided on a whim.

Her glare intensified, and a thought slowly emerged, "I can make him love me."

She had the skills to do it, slowly forcing him by manipulating his emotions. She could plant how she loved him into him, day by day, when he slept and when he was awake—he would become her pet, her slave—forever there for her.

However, as quickly as the thought came to her, she discarded it even faster, "As if—" She clicked her tongue, feeling even disgusted by herself for thinking like that, "—I am not crazy."

Even if she did it, it was her juvenile self wanting to hold Alexander obsessively by her side, but the mature side wanted him to fall in love with her, wanting to be held in his arms and adored genuinely.

She slowly stood up, shaking uncontrollably, trying to regain any sense of self, but Alexander just wouldn't leave her mind. Weirdly enough, she didn't imagine him what he was now, but his older self—older, stronger, with the same cocky grin.

It was a weird fantasy, but that was it—a fantasy. As long as Alexander held his beliefs, he would never love her back, and as long as she wanted to be loved purely, she would never force or manipulate him.

"I don't want this—" Her whole body was in pain, her mind a mess, and she wanted it just to stop.

She tried to shake those thoughts away with a sigh, thinking it would be easy, but it was impossible. Alexander was someone she couldn't get out of her head.

When she started to rationalize it, her whole body felt limp, making her cry immediately and feel a pain she hated—a horrible experience, making her furious.

"Get out of my head!" She screamed, going through a tribulation of emotions she was unable to control. He was there—his scent, his touch, his voice. Unable to escape, she walked outside quickly, somewhere—anywhere. Just away.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it—" She mumbled, desperation and desire in her voice, still unable to comprehend what happened to her.

One moment, she realized that she loved him for years, and the next, she knew it was impossible to have him. It was like all the excuses she had were there to protect her from herself.

"I am so stupid—" Her anger surged.

Why did she like that he liked her body? Why was she angry every time he didn't come to her cuddling? Why was she frustrated when he met another girl?

"Why, Why, Why..." She hated herself for not figuring it out earlier, slowly falling into an infuriating state of self-loathing and hysteria, unable to live without the person she wanted the most, ready to give her life for him.

Fortunately, there was still a piece of rationality inside of her. She was outside, looking for anything able to distract her, as she couldn't sit still, letting all those horrible thoughts and fantasies simmer.

"The fitness center!" She saw a glimmer of hope and quickly walked there, hoping to find a distraction from her unfulfilled love.

One terrible thought after another emerged, with her experiencing pain again, unimaginable horror at what she thought and wished for, making her feel disgusted. She couldn't hold it anymore as her innards twisted again in knots; she puked again, "—fuck!"

After Sarah was done, feeling her throat burn, she noticed that she was close to the gym, 'I hope it helps—' she breathed in deeply, giving herself an ultimatum, '—otherwise, I need to leave.'

...

Author's note: The next chapter will return us to the present, and I tried really hard to capture a somewhat juvenile reaction and mix it with what the world represents.

Funny info: After I was cheated on by my first girlfriend when I was thirteen or something, I puked, too. It was quite the rollercoaster of emotions.