Mark finished his salad and lean protein, then was given a handful of small vials to take each roughly the size of his thumb.
While his homeworld seemed to favor pills and needles, this new world seemed to prefer liquid medications taken orally.
They also referred to them as potions with glaringly obvious names.
“Let me see, ah yes Vitamin Infusion, Regeneration Potion, Disease Resistance Potion, Potion of Increased Health…”
“I can’t tell if you are making fun of the names human.” The nurse stated.
“Oh,” Mark sighed, “It’s just that labeling something a Potion of Reduce Swelling seems a little silly, are you naming it or describing what it does?”
Zirrilit nodded, “Yeah! Mark told you to give him painkillers right? Where’s his anti-depressants!?”
The orc smiled, Mark had been laughing at the names while Zirrilit realized none of the potions had been pain reduction or designed to increase his mood and thus, accidentally destroyed Mark’s viewpoint.
Or she did it on purpose; it was difficult to tell.
Mark changed topics, “Look, I think we started out on the wrong foot here sir. Think about this logically, I know you guys want me here to fight demons right? That’s why we are quarantined? I can’t do that while I’m like this. If you give me something to take the edge off I’ll be much better prepared just in case, I’ll even save it just in case something serious happens.”
“No you will not ‘hold onto it,’ you are going to down anything I give you the moment it leaves my hand.” The nurse grumbled.
Mark put a hand against his head, nursing his headache while simultaneously trying to not move the injured half of his upper body.
“Look,” The orc decided to toss him a bone, “We do have something that I can give you, which we usually reserve for people in your situation.”
Mark raised his head up a little too fast and jerked to clasp his side in response with a slight hiss. After a few breaths he calmed his heart rate and the burning in his side went down, he focused on the orc.
The orc looked to the side, then in an exaggerated manner turned to glance over the opposite shoulder.
He reached into his pocket and moved his gigantic fist over Mark’s open hand, leaving a small brown, unlabeled thumb sized bottle in the human’s grasp.
Mark twisted the cap off of the bottle and drained it in once swoop, sighing a little before nodding, “Thanks.”
He rose, a bit faster than usual, and shifted back into his wheelchair. Ready to be transported back to his room.
The nurse spoke up, “Let's work on walking back now, you should feel a bit better in a minute or two so it shouldn’t be difficult.”
Mark nodded, he was already starting to feel better. Rising to his feet he was surprised about how easy it was to stand if he pushed straight into it. After his breathing calmed he set out.
Another nurse went to replace the orc, one that was only a few inches taller than the human but with shining, metallic green scales. The orc nodded as he went to clock out, but first he grabbed the lizardkin by the wrist to pull closer and whisper some advice.
“Humans are really, really dumb.” The orc informed them. “Like, really, really dumb.”
They turned, “Is there a point to insulting them, or were they just that bad?”
The orc shook his head, “Nah, it's his first time being shot and he’s not super psyched to be here, so there’s that complication. The big thing is that he was dragging his feet and trying to negotiate dosage frequencies, then I gave him some fish oil and told him it was a drug and now he’s walking down the halls just because I asked.”
“He thinks he’s high right now? Just because you told him fish oil was a drug? Doesn’t he just notice that the drug didn’t drug him?” He hissed slightly, not out of anger but just because that was how his mouth and jaw were designed.
“Well I don’t know if humans can just convince themselves that something is a drug so well that it gives them the same effects or if this one in particular just has low intelligence, but you could tell him anything and he will probably believe you.” The orc whispered, “I wouldn’t tell him too many lies, or he might eventually figure one of them out and stop trusting us, but you can trade him some fish oil or salt water if he gets too obstinate. They are good for him in small doses.”
“Thanks.” The lizardkin replied with a drawn out hiss.
The orc nodded and made his way out of the cafeteria, the fact that the hospital was on quarantine protocol meant that he was also in quarantine. He had his own room deeper within the hospital in an armored fallback zone, as sleeping in an exposed area around a group of potentially unstable cultists was universally accepted to be a bad idea.
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The lizardkin set off, catching up to the near-crippled human within moments as he walked leaning against the railing attached to the wall.
“Hello Mark, my name is Nurse Ghenyss, and I will be your ward for the next fourteen hours.”
Mark paused to catch his breath before nodding back and continuing his walk.
Zirrilit would stop and sniff at him whenever he ceased moving.
“Good on you Mark, you’re going to be very glad that you stayed active throughout your stay here.”
Mark nodded again while panting, pausing for just a moment before continuing his arduous trek down a hallway to the elevator.
The human was actively sweating by the time he reached the elevator and Ghenyss tried to be encouraging.
“You’re doing so well!” The nurse dragged their forgotten wheelchair behind them, folding it in half and leaning it behind them so as to not distract the human or remind them of how easy it would be to sit down.
During the walk back, the nurse prepared a small inhaler containing a steroid injection to enhance the effects of exercise on the cardiovascular system; it would heavily enhance his lung’s regeneration.
He handed it to Mark, who at this point understood its usage and administered it himself.
The nurse watched the human climb into bed and roll onto his good side.
He had to correct that, the nurse walked over and eased him onto his back.
“You have one lung at maximum efficiency, laying on that lung will compress it and make it hard to breathe.” He said in a cheerful voice.
“Hrrng. I know.” He grumbled.
“Then you should know to stop doing it. If you get startled and suddenly need more air, you might pass out.” The nurse lectured. “You can lay on top of your injured side, flat on your stomach, or on your back.”
Mark laid flat on his back, staring at the ceiling before the nurse turned the television on.
“Why…” Mark started, breathing heavily. “do you guys… always turn it… onto the news…”
The nurse considered it for a moment, before deciding that information wasn’t secret.
“It was decided that you should get used to seeing non-humanlike entities. You are probably unused to more extreme variations of the standard evolution of templates.”
Zirrilit tilted her head, “What’s that?”
“Non-humanlike isn’t a real word, it's a new word we created to explain to Mark how people look vastly different-”
“No,” Zirrilit interrupted, “The template.”
“Ah,” The nurse considered, the word humanlike and thus non-humanlike was a new scientific term used by people studying the new species as they compared it to pre-existing examples. Very interesting to people in his circle of friends. “The standard evolution of templates is a common theory. Basically when you are creating a new species you generally want one that can perform a variety of tasks, like building or fighting or conversing with others. So they need hands, and the ability to move objects long distances and the ability to speak, which needs bipedalism and specific head designs.”
Zirrilit tilted her head, “So… Gods need people to be human shaped.”
“Well the term is elf shaped, since they are one of the oldest races they got to come up with most of the common terms.” The nurse explained, “But yeah, there are only so many takes on a two legged being with two arms. Everyone is just a person but with scales or fur or green skin or blue skin or…” He opened his hands. “All of the above or something? There are signs of more ancient precursors that looked far more deadly, like how we find fossils of the original dragons every so often, but they were driven to near extinction by some race of ancient humanoids who were far more efficient in their environments.”
Mark sputtered, “Wait…” He huffed for a moment and the others paused to allow him a question. “Wasn’t Zirrilit’s species created by a dragon or something-” He ended with a cough.
The nurse nodded, “Apparently the remainders have adapted to creating large numbers of humanoid creatures instead of fifty foot tall fire-breathing flying lizard armies.”
“Ooooh. Okay. So since I’m part elf or something can I use elf magic?” Zirrilit asked.
“No, you probably aren’t as innately powerful arcanists as elves. And your claws present issues with holding weapons or magical focuses properly.” The nurse commented, “See, I have fingers instead of claws, so that when I poke people with a spear I don’t scythe through the wood.”
Zirrilit scrunched her face, “So then what do I have that a fifty foot tall dragon wouldn’t?”
“You can fit inside of buildings and people don’t innately believe you to be predatory,” they offered. “We also don’t know much about your specific species.”
“Life isn’t fair. Mark, tell them that my species is too weak and everyone should feel bad for me.” Zirrilit poked Mark on his non damaged half. “Mark, armies of people can beat me up very easily, give me human magic so I can throw angels at people so they won’t try and shoot me.”
Mark groaned, “I don’t know how to do that. I got shot, remember?”
“Oh right, is that still a thing? Shouldn’t this have been fixed already? It’s been like three whole days hasn’t it?”
“No?” Mark tried to feel outraged by the question, “You saw me limping over here?”
“I thought you fought another demon or something, are you still hurt from that gunshot?” Zirrilit felt shocked.
“Yes, what do you think we're here for Zirrilit?”
“Quarantine?” She asked, “Aren’t we here because of quarantine? You can’t go to the hospital for two things, can you?”
The nurse sighed, “Yes you can, we are in quarantine and Mark is still injured. It’s going to take another couple of weeks at minimum because he got cursed, remember?”
“Ooh, I see.” Zirrilit nodded.
With that the conversation ended, Mark struggled to think of more information he would want to know, and for a moment, they stood there quietly.
Zirrilit and Mark watching the television, though only Zirrilit could understand what they were saying, as Mark could not receive divine blessings to ease his transition into this world.
The nurse stood off to the side on the lookout for danger, both from his ward’s own actions and from the actions of others.
Then Zirrilit started drumming her claws on the side table next to Mark, and he started flipping through channels looking for something that could hold his interest.
Zirrilit started gazing out through the window at the nice garden in the center of this facility, the hospital being ring shaped and possessing an internal courtyard.
Mark got bored with flipping through channels and started pressing random buttons on the remote to see what the more unusual ones did.
Then Zirrilit turned to Mark, “Hey, wanna see how fast I can run?”
Mark thought about it, he didn’t really have much going on right now.
“Sure. Put me in that wheelchair and run around with me.”
“I can run in circles around this place with you! Why didn’t I think about that!”
“Mark,” The nurse stepped forwards, “Engaging in dangerous behavior like that might set your recovery back, think about if you accidentally run into anyone or-”
Zirrilit noticed the nurse edging between the two and the wheelchair, so she scooped Mark up like a small dog and sprinted into the hallway.
“Catch me if you can!”
“Shit-” The nurse reached for a radio.
No one had told him that humans liked to do stupid shit when they got bored.
He ran into the hallway tracking Zirrilit just in time to see her almost run into a man in a wheelchair.
She leapt at the last minute to get over the man without harming them, safely maneuvering out of the situation-
The nurse winced as she landed directly onto Mark and rushed to the scene.
Zirrilit crawled off the human with alarming speed and Mark gasped, Zirrilit drooped at the sight of his dislocated arm and the nurse was now emergency signaling more medical personnel.
The human glanced around for a moment, breathing hard, before settling on his arm and realizing what was wrong.
“Ooooooh, fuck.” He sucked in a breath, “this really hurts, but could you imagine how bad it would feel if I didn’t get extra painkillers?”
The nurse pinched their brow and jotted down another note onto his file:
Patient acts unpredictably when bored.
“Now I’m going to have to plan him out playdates or something.”