I sat up and surveyed my tiny shack. Natural lighting brought from broken boards filtered in giving a cosy aesthetic. The mold in the left corner and the spiderwebs in the roof corners gave it a real lived-in feel. I heard running coming from outside. It must be students returning from the training camp. I peeked outside. Even though I’m sure they couldn’t see me they cast hate-filled eyes at the tiny shack. I don’t completely blame them they did lose their main hope, in some sense they’re justified for taking out their anger on me. Unfortunately for me, their cruelty isn’t doing me any favours especially considering I still have to interact with the outside world.

I walked out. The gravel crunched underneath my feet. I wonder what life is like back home. I wonder what has happened to the house by now? Does time even pass at the same rate here? Maybe this is all just a dream. I chuckled. Or rather this is a nightmare. I entered a black tent. Iron-hitting iron filled the air.

“Is Tom the blacksmith here?”

A gruff man looked up. “Yes,”

“Oh,” He said when he saw who it was. “I have it ready,”

I had one final hope. Tom took forwards an armour-like creation from below a big wooden work-bench. Parts of the inside of the armour revealed sharp needle-like projections that seemed to span the entire inner surface area of it.

“This suit is designed, to integrate into your bodily and magical pressure points. To theoretically stimulate your magical channels. The basic principle is that when our body is put under great stress there is potential for it to rebuild itself, although that’s only if it doesn’t kill you first. It is more likely that your body will not be able to handle the strain causing your body to break down. It was after all banned 600 years ago during the Second Sander War. It It causes great pain and takes a huge amount of physical and magical l stamina. It takes 90% of your energy to operate. Considering your current magical ability the effects could actually be deadly. A lot of people don’t know this but our bodies actually need a little bit of mana to run smoothly, if that demand isn’t supplied it could have untold consequences.”

Tom hefted the carapace and walked towards me.

“Watch out Tom be careful he doesn’t break that too,” said a stern figure from behind me.

I turned and winced. It was Poulter. I had accidentally broken a gem he had given me to try and channel my mana through but it had shattered into a thousand pieces, any kindness he had for me shattered along with it.

“Sorry Poulter,” I said.

“Hmm, you can apologize by getting me my gem back,”

I outstretched my arms. He placed its curled-up state on my back. It dug painfully into my body.

“Hold still,”

“I’m trying to,” I said through gritted teeth. He fastened the clamps to my chest, midsection, hips, arms and legs.

“Ok, it’s attached now hold still while I activate it.” I heard tinkering then silence. A gentle vibration went through the carapace.

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“When is it supposed to –.”

Blistering pain shot through me. The carapace extracted wrapped around my torso, its tendrils reaching my limbs and the base of my neck. I was being stabbed, I was literally being stabbed. I fell to my knees heaving.

“Take it off, “ I shouted scratching frantically at it. I didn’t care about regaining my mana I’m fine being an outcast as long as the pain went away!

“I can’t take it off,” said Tom.

“Please,” I begged, “it’s too painful, I’ll die.” I howled.

Tom sighed and reached for the back.

With a click, the contraption loosened and bounced off my back. The pain had caused tears to stream down my cheeks. I simply lay there on the ground sobbing. How was anyone supposed to handle that?

“I’m disappointed in you,” said Tom after some time.

“Shut up,” I got out from my trembling lips. What did he know?

“Is this all you can do,” he said sternly. “Are you going to keel over and die now? Even for me who spends all my time in my shop, tales of your patheticness has reached my ears.

His words stung.

“Is this your all, do you have nothing left!?” said Tom.

“That’s right!” I shouted, “I have nothing left, my family is gone, my friends are gone, I’m in an entirely different world with no way back, I have been treated terribly since the day I got here, I have been threatened and attacked, starving and injured 24/7! What else do I have to lose!”

Tom smashed a hammer loudly against an anvil.

“You still have yourself” roared Tom. “ You still have yourself, you have to live for yourself, as long as you are alive there is hope, there is reason to keep on going and therefore you must persevere. “ He continued more softly. “I’m sure that’s what everyone who cared about you would want,”

“Live for myself? How would I even do something like that?”

“You just have to try, no matter what Eventually I’m sure you will find peace.”

The words that came out of my mouth surprised even me.

“Please put the carapace on me.”

He nodded. “There won’t be a chance to take it off again, There are cases where the shock of repeated attempts has killed the person wearing it.”

I nodded wordlessly.

3…2…1..

Click!

The pain took me once more to meet the floor.

“Steady there,” said Tom. “Take deep breaths, you don’t want to pass out.”

He steadied my shoulder.

With great exertion, I waved him off.

“I’m all right,” I managed to get out. I had things to prove, maybe it was rude not to accept his help but I couldn’t accept it. I had to do this for myself!

I took a step, then another. Each step was unbearable. I made it to the end of the shop. One more step one more step. Just until I made it back. I was halfway now. Kids jeered at me, pointing and laughing. It didn’t matter.

Finally, I could see the tiny shack. I crept towards it. After an eternity I reached it and sat down inside. I took deep and heavy breaths. Sweat drenched through my clothes. At least sitting didn’t cause any of the spines to dig deeper into me. It had been one of my major concerns.

I tried to lie down but it only dug deeper into me. I slept sitting up that night. My pee had been red that morning. The words of the blacksmith echoed in my head.

when our body is put under great stress there is potential for it to rebuild itself, although that’s only if it doesn’t kill you first.

I walked around more that day. Each step sent pain shooting through my body although my body was still in excruciating pain regardless of if I was moving or not. There was nothing much to do, I slept and trained each day walking a little further and while it may have just been my imagination maybe a little faster as well.