Jesus-kun spat out the bird feathers that had gotten lodged in his mouth. Fuck!

Okay, calm down, calm down. Blue screen, do I still have that ‘Debug mode’ on, by any chance? I could really use some good news right about now!

No, it was automatically turned off when we left the heavenly realm.

FUCK!

However...

That was a built in failsafe in the system. Her majesty, queen Gabriella the loose, in her haste to send you careening to your death, didn’t bother to check if you had made your selections yet.

Meaning?

Meaning, everything is still in the same state it was in, when debug mode was still turned on.

So wait! That means I have all those delicious stats! Don’t tell me, I’ll actually be able to survive this fall!

Unfortunately not, it’s still gonna be way too much for you.

Dammit!

Okay, no need to panic just yet. Firstly, is there anything out of place blue screen? I just want to be sure that crazy bitch didn’t do anything untoward with me before ejecting me.

You mean like sending you falling to your death?

Obviously aside from that.

I don’t think so. Checking your status… All good, very good actually.

Checking inventory… Well obviously there isn’t the ‘starter equipment’ you should have received before coming here, but I guess you already suspected as much.

There is however an item in your inventory that shouldn’t be there.

What? What is it?

The item description says, ‘used tampon’

Huh?

Ooooooooohhh.

I thought I felt something inside there.

Man Gabriella must be so pissed right about now! I swear, even if you fall to your death and I don’t get to go on any adventures with you, so be it. It would have been worth it!

Unfortunately I don’t share your sentiment. Blue screen I have a bucket list you know. I need to complete that list, before I kick said bucket.

Well what’s left on that list?

Well, I can now safely tick off skydiving. But that aside, lot’s of things… Necro-deepthroat, loli-anal, lamia-footjob…

Yeah I don’t think you’ll ever be able to tick off that last one…

Why? It’s less improbable than being able to tick off angel-fisting?

Fair point.

NO! Fuck this! I refuse to die before the kiss x sis manga finishes!

Wait, out of everything you just listed, that’s your raison d’tre?

Blue screen, do I still have all those cheat abilities?

Yes

Is there anything in that list that would allow me to fly or float or slow down my fall?

Checking… Unfortunately not. There’s only one that would probably make you fall even faster.

Okay, what about buffs? Maybe with enough buffs I can simply tank the damage?

Checking… There are some, but even with them on I’d still only give you a 30% chance of survival and that’s only if there’s a healer waiting to heal as soon as you go splat, otherwise wer’re back at zero chance.

Shit. Think. Okay, what about some kind of instant summoning skill. Maybe I can summon a creature to fly on?

Checking… Hmmmm.

What?

So there is one summoning related skill in the list, but I don’t know how much use it would be to you at present.

Well, spill the beans!

Blood rule - cheat edition:

It allows you to summon and enslave any living creature, if you imbibe their blood.

Well I’ll be able to tick vampire fantasy off my bucket list, but you’re right, that doesn’t really help m-

Wait! That’s it!

What? What’s it?

Jesus-kun retrieves the used tampon from his inventory.

Oh no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

You can’t be serious!

It’s for the sake of loli anal man! But man Gabriella, this is too much. Seriously just suck it up and buy a product meant for heavy flow next time!

No Jesus-kun wait!

Jesus-kun did not hesitate in the slightest, holding it by the string, he popped the whole thing in his mouth like a fucking lollipop. Some sucking noises and one gulp later, as well as one mental scream…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hmm. A dusty ruby color with subtle aromas of blackberry and a raspberry filling with a lightly tanic, crisp, dryish medium body and a smooth, complex, medium long slate of almonds, with subtle hints of iron. If it wasn’t for the required method of consumption, I’d probably give it a four star.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!, Please stop!!!!

Before Jesus-kun could continue his review, he felt the magic activate.

Poof!

With a small puff of smoke, like summoning a frikkin shadow clone, one ‘Gabriella the loose’ popped into existence.

Her wings were retracted and currently not visible, Jesus-kun seriously hoped that she had not lost them coming here. Although she looked extremely confused, she was clearly used to ‘airtime’ as she wasn’t phased by falling through the sky, even a little.

“You?” She said, eyes suddenly locked on Jesus-kun. “What are you doing here? No. What am I doing here-”

Her eyes suddenly locked onto the string that was still hanging out of Jesus-kun’s mouth. Gabriella instinctively clutched her special place with both hands as if trying to protect it way too late in the game. Tears started forming out the corners of her eyes, before a piercing scream reached out to the heavens, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”

And then it stopped.

Hey, blue screen, did she pass out from shock?

Think so

Does she still have wings? The ground is getting awfully close.

Yeah they’re just currently hidden. Angels can do that.

Cool. Do have any skills I can use to wake her up.

You could just give her another fisting.

As tempting as that is, I want one that doesn’t require me to use my hands. I want to be holding onto her when she wakes up. Nothing would be worse than her surviving this ordeal and not me.

Good point. You can use static touch, that should do the job.

With that, Jesus-kun wrapped his arms and legs around the dumbstruck angel and released his static touch skill. Despite the name, he could tell it was a lot more serious than mere ‘static’.

Gabriella’s eyes jolted open as her body rocked from electrocution. “Wha- What! I’m awake papa, I’m awake”

“I’m not your papa. However… If you want me to be-”

“You! How did I get here! No, wait, before that, why are you clinging to me you fucking sleezebag. Let go!”

“I refuse.”

”What?” Gabriella struggled desperately to get away from the shitsmears grip, but it was ironclad. Unfortunately angels only had access to a tiny fraction of their power when away from the heavenly realm. A sort of failsafe to make sure they did not get all ambitious and strike out on their own.

“Use your wings. If you don’t start flying, then we’re both done for!”

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

Gabriella snarled at the insolent man. But she needed to survive first and foremost, she could worry about divine retribution afterwards. So she begrudgingly did as he asked. She brought out her wings and started flapping for all they were worth.

While their descent had slowed a little bit, it clearly was not enough.

“We’re still gonna die! You need to flap harder!”

“You fucking maggot, there's too much weight! Why don’t you let go, that will solve it!”

“I said flap harder!”

Gabriella glared at him, but somehow managed to do as he said, she was now flapping much harder than before, much harder than Jesus-kun would have thought possible given that it had looked like she had previously been giving it everything she had.

And just in a nick of time too. As their descent greatly slowed one more time, they made contact with the surface. Like a meteorite striking the earth, they left behind a crater, a cloud of debri and smoke and a shockwave. All they needed to do now, was strike cool poses.

Of course in their current state, that was going to be impossible.

If it’s any consolation, I’m striking a cool pose at the moment.

You didn’t even crash into the ground!

Anyway, just relax for a few moments, the damage will be healed up in no time, you have some pretty nifty regeneration skills after all.

Well that’s good to know. What about the winged cunt?

Same for her unfortunately. Her divine constitution will have her healed up soon as well.

Oh well, that went as about as well as can be expected I guess.

Anyway, blue scr-

A moment of stunned silence passed.

What? What is it?

Uhm. Where’s the tampon?

The tampon? Isn’t it- Ooooooh.

What does Oooooh mean?

Well you see, during all the mayhem you actually managed to swallow the thing whole.

So it’s inside my stomach. That’s a bit weird, but I don’t see what the problem is.

Yeaaah. The thing about that is, it’s not inside your stomach. It’s actually about halfway between your stomach and your lung.

Come again!

Well it was in your stomach. But your landing was, how should I say, messy. Point is, you ruptured your stomach and the tampon kind of escaped. Your regen abilities of course went into overdrive to keep you alive and simply healed all the damage, ignoring the foreign object in favour of survival. And now you have an angelic tampon pacemaker.

Not sure how I feel about that. But then again, I never did sweat the small stuff, so- fuck it, I guess.

Jesus-kun finally clambered to his feet unsteadily. Seems like he managed to beat the system after all, so to speak. The angel was still groaning in pain and busy recovering. She looked mostly fine at the moment, save for one wing that was clearly bent in a direction no wing should ever be bent in.

So, you gonna kill her? She’s not in heaven anymore, so with your stats, you should be able to do it.

I’m tempted, but patience is a virtue. I can think of far better things to do with her. Before any of that though, hows my status looking?

Everything seems good. All back to normal, well as normal as it could be in your case.

Wonder where I am. No matter where I look I can’t see much, too much dust hanging in the air still.

“Hey, maggot!”

Oh! The angel recovered really fast, you weren’t kidding blue screen. The ‘angel’ was already on her feet when Jesus-kun turned around, albeit unsteadily so. She was quite a mess. Even though everything was healed up and the blood had even disappeared, like healing and cleaning all in one, her clothes had seen better days. Amongst other things, her stockings were in tatters and her blouse was ripped to the point that one of her tiny breasts were peeking out.

“You might want to fix that first.” Jesus-kun indicated toward the nipple that was playing peekaboo.

The angel merely grunted in annoyance and magically repaired her corporate clothing. Or so he thought. After a brief flash, the outfit was replaced with a more traditional angelic garb. No stockings or high heels this time either, instead replaced with bare feet and sandals, sticking out from underneath her flowing white robe.

“What are you staring at? Huh? Fucking petri-dish specimen.” The angel huffed in annoyance. “You know what. Fuck it. I’m really tired. Enjoy your life trying to defeat the demon king. I look forward to seeing you eventually squealing like a dying pig; in hell. I just need a stiff drink right about now.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, but then suddenly frowned. A moment later her eyes shot open and glared at Jesus-kun accusingly. “What have you done?”

Huh?

“Why can’t I go back!” She stumbled back a step or two unstably. “What’s going on here. Actually how did I get here in the first place.”

She focused even more intently on Jesus-kun now. “Identify! No, wait that’s not going to work, you’re a hero after all… ‘Identify: divine edition’”

After a moment of silence, her legs gave out and she slumped to the ground. She clutched her head in her hands wailing to no one in particular: “Nooo! What have I done. I sent you out here with all those powers. I’m finished! My career is over. What am I going to do. Wait, still how did I get here? What did you do?”

Now she was looking at him expectantly.

“I summoned you, with a summoning skill.”

“Shit, no wonder I can’t get back on my own.” The angel was starting to look more than a little unhinged, even biting into her fingernails, like she was trying to rip them off. “If I can’t go back on my own, then it means I can only go back with you. And that will only happen if you defeat the demon king, your death won’t cut it…”

Her mumbling was becoming quieter and even creepier.

I almost feel sorry for her… Almost.

“You fucking steaming pile of rat shit, you’ve ruined me!”

“Now let’s be fair, you were already loose down there before I came along, you can’t possibly blame that on me.”

“You fucker! I’m going to make your life a living hell!”

“Oh put a sock in it!” Honestly, there was only so much berating one person could take from this wannabe angel, before he would snap.

“MMgh mmmph, wwpwh mpm fff mpmmf”

Huh? The angel had literally plucked a sock out of fresh air and shoved it in her mouth.

Blue screen, not that I’m not grateful, but what just happened?

You already forgot the details of the blood rule skill? Can't say I blame you, I'm trying pretty hard to forget about it myself. The takeaway though, she’s yours to command bro!

Oh shit! That’s right! Well then, this steaming pile of rat shit, is going to have a little fun.

The angel suddenly stopped mumbling and started cowering instead.

“Take that sock out of your mouth.”

Gabriella did as commanded and coughed in relief. It was however a short lived reprieve. Before she had a chance to react, something else had been shoved in her mouth instead.

Jesus-kun had wasted no time in pulling down his pants and shoving his dick in her mouth. “No teeth, and do a proper job!”

Gabriella wailed in frustration, she was a split second away from trying to bite it off and now found herself completely unable to do so. Instead she was forced to start giving head, to the best of her abilities.

Jesus-kun enjoyed the sensation of her soft lips, stroking up and down his stick, pulling the skin along with each motion, and leaving a glistening trail of saliva along his shaft. She wasn’t half bad, just the right amount of pressure from her lips stroking him.

“Do it like you meant it!”

You know I have to admit this is really satisfying.

In so many ways blue screen, in so many ways.

That last command, caused her to mumble even more complains, as her mouth did things she did not want to. Gabriella, started licking all around the ‘head’, caressing it like she was savouring a particularly delicious lollipop.

“I’ll kill you for this!” She managed to get out, while she was kissing the tip of his penis, like it was an actual person she was making love too. All the while gently massaging his balls with one hand. In truth she wanted to just really squeeze down on them until they were a bloody pulp, but obviously was unable to do so.

Still massaging his balls, she slid his dick back into her mouth, this time rubbing it up and down the inside of her cheek as forcefully as she could manage. This caused some rather comical bulges on the outside of her face.

“Hmm. It’s starting to feel pretty damn good. But I want more!” Jesus-kun suddenly exclaimed, with a sadistic grin on his face.

“Wha-” Before Gabriella could even begin to stress about what was in store for her, Jesus-kun grabbed her golden hair in both hands, pinning her in place and rammed his crotch into her face, balls-deep.

The angel panicked and started struggling, the occasional gagging sound escaping. “No vomiting! As interested as I am in trying out everything life has to offer, I only have one set of clothes at the moment.”

Jesus-kun had always wanted to try out some deep throat and it did not disappoint. The sensation was incredible. As his tip entered her throat, he could feel an immense pressure as it was forced downwards a bit. The feeling was so good and her struggling, and shifting about, only made it even better.

Losing himself to this new sensation, he let go of her hair and just grabbed her head instead and started ramming his tip in and out of her throat. She managed to gasp for air in between on occasion, but he had a feeling she was more than sturdy enough to come away from something like this relatively unscathed.

So he did not worry himself too much over potentially damaging his new divine sex toy and carried on thrusting.

Was skull fucking an angel on your list by any chance?

No. Pity I never thought of that.

Jesus-kun could feel himself getting close. Gabriella had been struggling to break free all this time, to the point where he was considering just ordering her to keep still. But this was fun in it’s own way. Aside from trying to push him away with her hands, her wings were also now flapping about wildly, occasionally hitting Jesus-kun.

This was how he realised how special they were. They were unbelievably soft. Every time they made contact with his body, basically trying to slap him and ultimately failing, leaving behind a bunch of loose feathers, they felt incredible, like some kind of aphrodisiac. Must be a divine thing.

This gave Jesus-kun a great idea. His dick was already pulsating, close to firing a load down her throat. So instead, he pulled out of her mouth. She coughed and gasped for air, drool, dripping out her mouth and running down her robe. She was panting heavily, but also quite relieved that she didn’t have to swallow it.

This moment of relief was short lived, when she realised why she would not have to swallow it.

Jesus-kun had found a much better cum dumpster and was currently stroking his cock with a hand full feathers, aka, on one of her wings. The sensation was out of this world. Whatever these fucking things were made of, they were (cocaine multiplied by sixteen year old pussy) to the power of ten! Or more scientifically: (C.P)^10

In mere moments he released his load and the wing was absolutely coated in a mountain of hot cum. Jesus-kun collapsed to the ground, landing on his naked but. “That was fucking amazing.”

“My wing! My precious wing!” Gabriella was somewhere between angry shouting and shrill screaming at this point, tears in the corners of her eyes, as her hands hovered in mid air just before her dripping outstretched wing, like she wasn’t quite sure what to do about it.

All that, and that’s the part that bothers her the most?

“You! You’re fucking dead! I don’t even care if I never go back, I’m going to fucking kill you for defiling my precious wing like this!”

“Shut up and keep still!”

And Gabriella was literally frozen in place, which did not stop her from glaring a whole through him with all her might.

“Alright, I’m rested up, time for round two!”

The glare quickly subsided and turned into a look that was somewhere between surprise, shock and horror, as Jesus-kun once more buried himself balls-deep into her mouth.

Jesus-kun enjoyed the deepthroat she was ‘giving’ him while struggling below him, for a good few minutes, before he finally noticed they were not alone.

Either he had arrived in the middle of it, or the dust had finally cleared enough for Jesus-kun to notice the guy only now. But either way, there was one very surprised priest staring at the situation in front of him, with a look of shock and wonder.