So, I wanted to get some feedback about the writing style. I got a couple comments for the chapter I just posted today, they said it was jarring. And that they couldnt complete it. Give me your opinions on it please. I was trying to adapt the parataxing method. It eliminates all the conjuctions aside from 'but', 'and', 'yet'. The sentences feel broken with this, but its supposed to be a stronger way of writing. As I was trying to improve in the last month or so, I unknowingly adopted Hemmingway's style--he used a lot parataxing.

The sentences I wrote were supposed to be blocks of information, intended to give just enough info to keep the scene flowing in mind.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

Maybe I couldnt do it properly or something? I hope you guys give me some feedback. The comments kinda crushed my spirit since I was under the impression I was improving. Is it the same for you all? Should I revert to my previous style? Though, I dont know if I'll be able to. I changed my last style because it was getting tedious for me. It hindered me from giving more details to the story. Cuz I had to make the sentences flow, I couldnt fit all the details in.

I'll add a poll in here. Hope you guys vote.