I close my eyes witha shattered heart and lay on my bed. No amount of cigarettes and alcohol can fill the hole in my heart. It has been 4 hours since I last chatted with her. I check the time on my phone,

“Oh it’s already 2:00 in the morning, damn; I need to get some sleep.” I told myself.

I lift myself up from my bed to stand, and  gave a little sigh of brokenness.

I walked across my room to the door leading to the lobby.

I was planning to go outside and smoke a cigarette, while I was making my way towards the door.

I couldn’t see that much, it was dark as fuck, unlike your typical room, my room had no windows in it, it sucked, the heat would be trapped on the hot days, and the cold would get imprisoned within the walls of my room. However, after a while it didn’t bother me anymore.

So I was making my way towards the door when I accidentally hit my shin on one of the legs of the couch, I was like “God, fucking damn it.” As I ignored the pain and proceeded to go out towards the lobby, then pass through the door leading outside. I start to light my cigarette and smoke, I stare at the smoke as it reaches the skies. I notice the sky did not have stars.

It was somewhat sad, but I did not really care, I was thinking the reasons why the girl did not reply to me,

“Where did I go wrong? Did I say something offensive? Damn you, I looked like an idiot, Fuck”

As my mind went on and on with the reasons why, I did not notice that my cigarette was already out. Therefore, I decided to go back inside and sleep.

I

was already tired both body and mind, I was ready to sleep when my body hits the bed, but first my mind said, “Why don’t you check on your emails?”  In reply, I said “sure why not?”  I was amazed; I was in this state of tiredness where I could start a conversation with my own mind.

As I checked on my emails and stuff. I went to see my profile on a certain site; I have notice that there was a reply.

“Could this be? Did she reply to me when I went offline? Impossible? I waited for her for like a fucking hour to reply but she didn’t “

I slowly move my mouse towards the icon to click on. It felt like forever to reach the icon; my heart was pounding in my chest like a jackhammer. When I finally clicked the damn message tab, I was surprised with a little bit of sadness and relief.

For it was only my fucking lazy best friend sending me a message, it stated

“Yo, bro. can you send me your answers to our homework”

I replied with “bro, I didn’t even knew there was homework. Good luck”

“It never ceases to amaze me how lazy I can be. “ I thought to myself, as I scroll down to check who are the weirdos still online at this time, I see the girl was online, I was like “ fucking hell, why the fuck are you still online, its already 2:30 in the morning”. However, I did not give a fuck anymore, until I heard the sound of my laptop getting a message.

I quickly check on who chatted me, and in my surprise it was the girl saying “Hey, are you mad at me? Sorry I went offline, I have very bad internet connection here, when I went online again you were already offline. So I decided to wait for you, in case you would go online again.”

Tears came streaming down my eyes, I could hear the song “wherever you will go by the calling” on my mind.

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It was like if only I could just turn back time, I could not believe that there were still girls like this in this shitty world. Nevertheless, my mind said, “nah dude, this can’t be, there’s no sane girl, who’s fucking hot and smart, would wait for you.”

It’s impossible right? I said to myself” fuck it”

I replied to with “Nope, I’m not mad at all, hey are you ok? Shouldn’t you be sleeping at this time?”

“Nah, I don’t really sleep that much, maybe during classes, I always stay up to read something or watch funny videos,” she said.

“What kind of fucking girl is this”, I stated on my mind, and then I said to her.

“You shouldn’t really do that. It would ruin your beautiful face”

I could feel” GOD” fist bumping with me at that time, I was so fucking smooth, I felt like Michael Jackson’s song smooth criminal played on the background.

The girl’s reply was “hahahahaha, I have lots of qualities but being beautiful isn’t one of them  ”

Then I said“You are beautiful and not just beautiful; you’re also smart, pretty, cute and funny.”

Lucky for me I always keep a thesaurus on my desk for emergencies.

Then like that, I asked the question again, “what club are you in?”

“I’m in the scrabble club,” she said.

In my mind I was thinking so hard if scrabble can be considered a club, I mean what the fuck, who plays scrabble, I could accept chess, but scrabble, that is a different topic.

The time I was thinking, she messaged me and said. “How about you? What club are you in?”

I was like, “fuck fuck fuck, I didn’t join any clubs again this year”, what should I say? I don’t want her to see me as a slack off, so I did what any normal person would do, I FUCKING LIED.

I told her “yeah, I was in the taekwondo team of our school,”

With that, she said “really? That’s so cool, I always wanted to do martial arts, but my parents wouldn’t allow me, cause a have frail body, I’m too weak they said”

With confidence, I said, “Why don’t I teach you how? It’s really easy, don’t worry”

“Why not? Maybe someday” she said.

When I checked the time it was already 4:00,she and I really need to sleep, because our school had an assembly time of 7:00 sharp, anyone who would come later than that time would be considered late.

Being me I didn’t really had any problems with that, but for her being a scholar and shit. I was worried for her, so I told her” why don’t we sleep for now? We still have to wake up early later”

She agreed and said “night, bye, talk to you again later”

I instantly replied with “yeah, night, see ya”

We both went offline at the same time, I was overwhelmed with joy as I lay on my bed, until I realized I lied about joining the taekwondo team,

“Damn it, fuck, I need to join the taekwondo team, I’m going to fucking apply tomorrow, I mean how hard can it be” I was already used to fighting; I would always get into fights with street gangs in my street.  Therefore, I was fucking confident, I could join that team.

“HAHAHAHAHA, WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?” I shouted on my mind