The guards tell me I don't think like a child, anymore.

They're wrong, 'course. Grownups have this thing where, the dumber they're being, the more confident they are. Usually, dummies like the ones guarding me are also convinced they're right, despite all the stuff proving they're not.

They've come up with all these graphs and charts, crud like that, showing how much better I do at their tests than most kids my age would. They've also got these "diuh-grams", which just look like a buncha rainbow pies to me, but they say they show what parts of my brain are focused on.

Thing is, I'm not sure I'm smarter than other kids, really. I can think clearer, sometimes faster, I can focus on many things at once, but I think that's cuz of my magic.

Well, the parts of it that don't go away. I've got this collar on (it's lighter and softer than the first, so my neck doesn't hurt, it doesn't chafe) that keeps my magic quiet, and that makes me feel lonelier than anyone, no matter how many guards are around me.

David (he meets me in my dreams, 'cause he's important now, but he promised me he'll visit) tells me it's good not to think my magic makes me better than other children.

Well, I dunno about that, but it doesn't make me smarter, I don't think. I don't know more...I'm not sure I know more than them.

There are no windows in my cell. First Comrade told me this place is like a house for bad people, cuz they can't go back to theirs anymore, an' I started to cry, because I don't have a home to go back to, but I wanna go out, and-

Dang it. I don't like crying around the corpses. It makes me feel sick. There are two with me in the cell now, two vampires, and my eyes sting. I think they know already, so I turn to the wall, curlin' my knees up to my chest.

The wall is grey, like David. I think he could make me stop crying, but I'm awake, and he doesn't come. When I cry in my sleep, they give me these pills that don't let me dream, because I remember the fat strigoi. I never catch them doing it.

I'm angry, so I turn to glare at the vamps. I know they're not bad like the corpse who wears skinned faces, but they're dead, and their coldness almost feels like it's in my bones.

One of 'em's a slim woman with red hair, which she wears in a ponytail. I wish my hair was long enough for that, but they barely let me have curls. At least they didn't shave me bald like some said they should.

The other is one of those square men. You know, like the ones who make houses? They've got big chins and shoulders, like they're stuffed with bricks. He looks friendly, with his long brown hair and sleepy ox eyes, but I know better. He thinks guarding a powerless witch is dumb.

'Something wrong, Sofia?' Ponytail asks. Her voice is, uhh...lined? No. Measured? She sounds like she doesn't care, but she does. I can guess the shapes of the ripples on the surface of her mind. I don't need magic.

She's got a scarf not, not because it's cold (it's warm in the cell, and she's colder than the outside), but to hide where her dad bit her. She told me her dad is her mom, even though she calls her an old word for dad She also tells me she has three parents, but they don't know each other, and only one is her vamp dad. Mom.

Her throat isn't all scarred, like some vamps have. She's got this leathery, puckered circle, which she says she doesn't like. I think all of her is ugly, with her hatchet face. Maybe that's why Ox Eyes always stares at her back?

'She asked you a question,' Brick Face points out like a dunce when I don't answer. He doesn't catch me giving him a mean look, that I want them to leave. He's looking at Ponytail's pants again as she walks closer to me. I don't know what's wrong with them.

I clear my throat, cuz it always feels dry in here. I think it's the pills. They stop me from wetting the bed like I used to, so maybe they dry all of me up? 'Yeah, you're wrong,' I tell both, not sure if you say it like this. 'I asked you two to please leave after you say it's night. I can't sleep with dead people.'

Square Head sniggers at that, and Scarfie clicks her tongue at him. He has the face he makes before telling what she says are dirty jokes, which I shouldn't hear. Then why doesn't he shut up or go outside? Huh?

'And 'm tired,' I say, knuckling my eyes. This place is messing me up, 'cause I dunno when it's day and when it's night, and I always wanna sleep.

Circle Throat looks back at me, an' her eyes are like a cat's, but red. She tries to smile, and I can't tell why people who can't do it try. 'So, you would want living guards to watch over you as you sleep? We were hoping you'd gotten over...'

'You're so shy 'bout it like it happened to you!' I say in a high voice, and cross my arms. 'Yeah. Tell First to get here.'

Butt Face drops to one knee, and I scoot back on my bed. It's got one above me, with a ladder. There's no one there, but it feels good to have the bed above me.

'First Comrade was busy, which is why she asked us to stay with you. However, she should have some time now.'

'Yeah, well, go bite a fat neck,' I mumble, unsure what to say to vamps to be nice. They seem to like it anyway.

After they leave, but before First comes back, a wereseal looks at me from the door. She looks like a furry sausage on legs, and I laugh at her. She just stares.

I turn and get on my belly and look at the wall when the sausage gets boring, and fall asleep before First comes. I wake up with her sitting on the edge of my bed.

First is a big woman, which she says she is because her husband is smart and tiny. I don't know if she's joking about it, but she's larger than most men, with a deeper voice that's still a girl's.

She's got long blonde hair, prettier than mine, but that's because I can't grow it out. She's wearing this red thing that's many pieces but one under a long red coat, and black boots, like she walked through tar.

I sit up and don't hit my head on anything, and First smiles at me. She smiles prettily, not like boys do. When they do, it's still nice, but girl smiles make me feel warm more often. First smiles like a mommy, but she's old enough to be a grandma to grandmas, or so she says.

First has all teeth and her bumps don't sag, and I think I wanna be like that when I get as old as a grandma, 'cause I don't want my skin to get all long and wrinkly. But, I'm smart, so I'm gonna eat just a little and stay small and not have enough skin for it to hang.

'They told you I was running late,' First says, meaning the vamps. 'I'm glad you managed to rest, anyway.'

'No dead eyes on me helped,' I say, and I sound angry at someone, but I don't know at who. 'Y'all can just ask living people to stay with me, ya know.'

She nods. 'We could. We were hoping contact with undead would help you begin to recover from your fears. Through exposure.'

I snort. 'That's stupid. The dead make me remember, but it's not their fault. I'm not scared of the dead I know aren't bad. It's just...'

'Undeath reminds you of that day. I understand.' First gives me a weird look, then says, 'You don't seem to mind David Silva, though.'

'Huh?' I ask, confused. 'David's not undead. He just looks and acts like he is, but he's more. Like God. More than God.'

'Be that as it may, you will, one day, have to face the fact there are many undead around you.' She shrugs, like it's something bad and it's her fault. 'It's just the world we live in, Sofia.'

I puff out my cheeks and mouth something rude. I think First cracks a grin, but I can't tell, cuz I can only see part of half of her face.

'I know. I can stay with them, but they gotta go when I need to sleep. I can't, with them.'

'We can make it so you don't need sleep,' First says, like she's talking 'bout pulling wings off a fly but doesn't know if she's gonna. 'We have the means.'

I look up at her, and my eyes feel wet. 'But I wanna sleep,' I say softly. 'It helps me forget, until I wake up.'

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First nods. 'All right, then.' Then she turns to me, and gosh she's huge. Is her husband a tadpole? 'Cause otherwise why does she gotta be so big?

'I think we've beaten around the bush long enough, Sofia. I believe you have understood you were wrong, and that we can find an use for your talents, if you let us.'

I kick my feet, looking away. 'I'm not sure I can. You guys do less than you could.'

'Why do you say that, girl?' she asks like a teacher.

'Well, I went to school, you know, and you've given me all these books an' stuff, so I know all you can do.' I start ticking off my fingers, though I bet I can count to a bazillion if I try. 'The gee-gee gives people food and water and houses 'cause everyone agrees people need those, but not everyone needs those. Anyway...'

I rub my forehead, not sure how to say this. Some things are so simple in my head, but when I need to say them it's like trying to spit out my food but it's already in my tummy.

'So people don't get TVs and games and cars and stuff because they gotta get it themselves, so they work. That's dumb.'

First crosses her legs, and her boits are really shiny. I can see myself in them, and I look funny as two people. 'I know a lot of people who'd start crying if they knew you called the world they've set up dumb.'

She's talking like I said something funny, but I didn't, I said the truth. Still, my ears burn when she smiles, so I must be blushing. I'm embarrassed, because I'm not sitting that close to her, and I don't think she's that hot, anyway. She's dressed like we're in a blizzard, but she doesn't send heat at me like a stove.

'I've read that they do that because the world's in a, uh, tran...trins...a changing stage. Um...' I wrack my brain for the right words, but my hair itches like it does when I think a lot, so I scratch my head. 'Right. So the idea is that people are still trying to live like supernatural stuff isn't here, when it comes to some things.'

'Like luxuries?' First offers, cuz she's nice like that. It must help that she has a big heart to hold all she feels.

'Uh-uh. So there are a lotta dum-dums who say it's bad or pointless or so and so to have things you enjoy given to you, I mean besides food and drinks, but they're all sorries.'

First runs a hand through her hair. 'You mean excuses?'

'Yup. They're all stuff they say to hide the real stuff.'

'That people are clinging to outdated ideas and ways of life?'

I shrug. 'Well, they are. I've seen some side thingies, what do you call them, those colourful boxes with people talking in the edge of the page, and some say giving people what they want will make bad things that eat happiness stronger, but I think that's a sor-excuse, too.'

First sat up, turned around fully so she faced me, and squatted down. She was still taller than me, dangit. 'You're mostly right,' she says like she's in deep thought. 'I've had much of the same thoughts over the years, though they started long after I was your age. You're much smarter than I was for a long time.'

I gasp and wanna squeal but I don't, because Mommy told me big girls are quiet when they should be and I love her, even though she turned bad. I loved her when she was herself, and remembering helps.

'There is some nostalgia involved,' First goes on. 'Tradition, I suppose. I am not too attached to such things myself...' She trailed off, her steely blue eyes locking onto mine. Her voice changes when she talks again, like she's more than curious. 'How much do you know about me, Sofia?'

'Well, ah, you never got close to the people in charge, because they'd have made you do more than help people. Right?'

'Right,' she replies. 'My parents saw the writing on the wall when Lenin rose up, and picked the winning side instead of running. I did the same in World War Two, instead of fleeing into the forests or ending myself. I fixed tanks, even drove some.' She tapped her right knee with a finger. 'Killed monsters in human skin.'

'That's...nice?'

'My point, Sofia, is that I come from a family of opportunists,' she says with a smirk like she's laughing at herself. 'As the Soviet Union grew after the stories came to life, I put my foot down, because I was a new woman by that point. Living on the borders, in every sense, didn't bring me any friends, but I valued those it did. I still do.'

Ach! She's gone rambly like all babas do, and I can't get away! Ummm... 'You were gonna say something,' I remind her, thinking maybe she needs her remembering pills or whatever nanas like her take to remember their glasses are on their noses (not that she has any). 'Before the story.'

'I'm getting there,' she says patiently, even though I'm the patient one because I'm listening to her get away from the point. 'So, because I was never close to any movers and shakers, I was able to form my own opinions on things. And, like I said, you're mostly right.'

Yay!

Wait.

'By which I mean that there are certainly factions holding onto outmoded ideals,' nooo, she's starting again... 'We - that is, the global paranormal law enforcement community - believe we could handle the consequences of Earth becoming a true post-scarcity world. A few of my acquaintances even believe the positive noospheric currents resulting from such a transition would help the world's inhabitants develop, that people would grow like never before if all their needs and wants were met - within reason.'

'Ok,' I say, blinking slowly to make sure I'm not missing anything, cuz dang does First talk like the world's biggest egghead, and thinks I'm one too. 'So why don'cha?'

She laughs, and it's a warm sound, because I feel my face heat up again, but I'm not embarrassed this time. 'Because, Sofia,' she answers, rising to her feet, 'a lot of people are scared of change, to one degree or another, and many of them are in charge of parts of the world. They can be eased into a better frame of mind, but trying to force them would just cause chaos, and no one would live well after that.'

I know what she's getting at. Forcing people to think the way you want to is bad, I get it. I'm not gonna do it again. Geez...

'Thank you for listening,' First says, and I notice her hands are bare, because she's pulling black gloves on now. Her hands are covered in pale scars and calluses like extra knuckles. I don't know what could leave her looking like this, and I don't wanna find out. 'I believe this talk helped both of us.'

It's morning, but when First is at the door, I feel as tired as last night, for some reason. She promises they'll think about guard rotation again, but I'm not really listening.

That's not what I care about.

'First!' I call out after her, and she returns, stopping at the door to glance at me. 'I...I know what I said earlier, but I'll help. I can try...' I bite my lip. It's quivering, but I don't know why. I'm not crying. Or going to. 'I wanna get out. I can go with you guys and look into minds an' try to calm them, and, and!' I squeeze my eyes shut. They're throbbing. 'I want to stop being scared. Of corpses.'

First Comrade tells me she understand and will talk about it with her bosses. But the really good part comes when I go to sleep, with a couple polar werebears, all fluffy and beady-eyed like big plushies, watching over me.

I meet David, or he visits me. I don't know. I think we meet halfway, or it feels that way. The dreamscape looks like the middle of a bridge, and I know that's what it is, even though I can't see the ends of the bridge.

David smiles, and says he's sorry he hasn't visited me yet, but he will, and more and more often after. He says he has three jobs now, and I think that's why he dresses like a dad, with this suit and tie, all boring.

He says he's bringing someone he loves far more than himself along for the upcoming visit, and that some of his friends are gonna pass by in the future to teach me stuff.

He also promises he's telling First Comrade and her friends too, but I can talk about it with her too, if I wanna.

Finally, he asks me if I want him to bring me anything, and I ask if he can give me something like a gift, but not really.

After I explain, he ruffles my hair, and tells me what I want is a sort of gift too, but one he's more than happy to make.

* * *

David brings his "girl-friend" (I ask him why he calls her that, does he only have one friend who's a girl? They both laugh and tell me, no, it's not like that), which I'm told is like a wife before you promise to be friends forever.

Her name's Mia and she's like a human and a dragon, bigger and taller than First Comrade, and just as pretty. I like looking at her, but I know I won't grow up to be like her, 'cause she's a zmeu, with skin like those bronze coins we saw on the school trip to the museum, and eyes like molten rubies.

First, who was told all about this while I slept, is listening from somewhere beyond the cell with her friends. I don't care, though, cuz David and Mia are here. I don't know her, but I like him and he likes her, so she's gotta be nice, right?

'We can teach you some things ourselves,' David says, giving Mia a sidelong glance. She nods at him but doesn't look, because she's kneeling, which is like squatting for zmei, so she can look into my eyes.

Her hands are big and clawed and rough, but I'm not scared to grab them, because Mia holds me like I'm a newborn.

'Mia especially,' he goes on, and she winks at me. For a blink, I see an image of a woman, taller and broader than David, with skin like bronze and hair like fire, but eyes like Mia's. It's her, I realise, her as a human, dressed like a witch, with a pointy hat and staff and fa-mi-li-ars, even a cauldron!

I must be gaping like a fish as I look at her, because she chuckles while pushing my jaw up with one finger. She burns with power like the witch I see in my mind's eye sometimes, the one I could grow up to be, dressed in purple and binding everyone and everything there is.

'But,' David continues, and I try to focus on him, even though his girl-friend us magical like I wanna be, 'there are other things you'll only master by learning them from others. I know people who could teach you about life, not just magic.' He joins Mia, taking a knee beside her, like Mommy and Daddy did when we loved each other. 'If you will accept them.'

'Like the old man with the glasses and the ghost, and the mummy!' I say, remembering. 'You guys work at the same place, right?' I ask, looking at their black clothes with the white shields. Well, only David's tie is like that, like a coal surrounded by ash, but Mia's all in black and white.

'That's right!' Mia says, tail swishing behind her. I wonder if she always sleeps on her tummy, with her tail and wings. 'They're some of our bosses, and they wanna make the world better for everyone, Sofia. You can help.'

'Thanks!' I blurt out, then look around to make sure it's just us three in the room, though I know there are people listening around. 'Did you know all three of 'em are older than they look? Like First, who you'd think is a mommy but is like, a hag for hags.'

They look at each other, grinning, then back at me. 'We'll be sure to pass the comparison along,' Mia promises, and I feel caught, for some reason. Uh oh. Maybe it's because of her eyes. She's like those snakes that can stop mice with a look, and I could stare into her eyes forever.

The zmeu tousles my hair, standing up. 'But you be nice, alright Sofia? I know you're a good girl deep down, but some people don't, and you gotta be careful around them.'

'Someone should have noticed the upcoming disaster in advance and stopped by to help you with your magic,' David adds. 'Even so...I want to say you didn't know what you were doing, but you did know what your magic would do. Didn't you, Sofia?'

I look away from them, at the ground, and my voice cracks when I answer. 'Y-Yes. But I didn't know it'd take the whole village! I thought just...Mom 'n' Dad...'

'Even so,' David says softly. 'You knew you'd take over their minds. It's unfortunate you grew up how you did, Sofia, but forcing people to think like you is a very bad thing. It makes you worse than they were, and you deserve better than to mar yourself like that.'

He closes his eyes, for some reason, before straightening up, hands behind his back like some kids at school used to stand at the board. 'Now, I know you wouldn't do it again. What happened to the villagers is your magic's fault. You didn't know it'd overtake you, and anything it made you say or think after you broke free of its grasp, but before you recovered, is also nothing to do with you.'

David looks away, and he seems much older than I know he is. He doesn't meet my eyes when he talks. 'I'll talk to some friends, arrange a few...sessions. Be sure to be nice to them: they're going to help you as a favour to me, not because they have to.'

'Ok,' I reply quietly, feeling like there's a coiled spring inside me, like when I jump too high and get scared coming down. Then, rembering to be polite, I get off the bed and shake their hands (Mia has to crouch) and thank them for coming. 'Come again soon!' I try to hug their legs but don't manage fully, they're not standing close enough together and my arms are too short. 'I love you guys.'

Both of them stiffen at that, like I did when I was told I should eat less sweets cuz they're bad for my teeth and will make my mouth hurt unless I go to the dentist, who's the doctor with the scary tools.

But they get over whatever scared 'em soon enough, and David places a hand on my head, a warm look on his face. 'It's sweet of you to say that,' he says in an old, old voice that sounds like two.

'You're very chummy, ain't you kiddo?' Mia says, and I get scared a bit 'cause she sounds like the aunties who aren't mine (but grownups call them that. I used to see some in the village) who wanna pinch my cheeks and tell me how big I've grown, and Mia's very strong and has sharp claws. 'It's very nice you can grow attached to people that fast.'

She pats my cheek instead of pinching it, but I still whimper, because jeez, her claws are claws are so close to my eye.

They leave, again reminding me more people will probably visit, and I can't stop bouncing on my toes, but it's not all butterflies.

Because, before we talked about teaching me, they told me I'd have to come to terms with how I deeply hurt a boy, and how I was hurt by a monster who was still a man, in some ways.

I'd have to meet both, one day. And this time, Loric Szabo wouldn't be gone when I woke up.

* * *

'She meant that,' Mia said as we left, sounding bemused.

I dipped my chin in agreement, quickly moving away to the heart of Siberia for relative privacy, my zmeu following in moments. 'Yeah. Several visions I consulted suggested she'd grow to see us as...parental substitutes, I suppose.'

And see herself as our adopted daughter, the older sister to our own children. But that was far away yet.

'You're uncomfortable?'

My breath hissed out of me like steam from an old engine. Appropriate, given the resulting mist. 'How could I not be? Just picture all the nutjobs thinking I killed her parents as part of some scheme to groom her so she'd support me once she grew into the fullness of her powers.'

What do you care about their opinions, human? You know they are wrong, and lies cannot hurt us any more than delusions can. Those who speak against us have no truths. Besides, if you're so concerned about being seen as manipulating her, just pass her along to the Creed Ascendant.

Oh, great idea, I tell my worse half, glaring inwardly. Pass the PTSD victim with apparent Stockholm Syndrome growing along to my cult of eldritch fanatics. That will definitely shut up the conspiracy theorists.

Exactly! So why haven't you?

The fact this guy was part of me didn't give me much confidence in my intelligence or sense of humour. That I couldn't tell whether he was joking or just denser than a neutron star was even sadder.