I am a bad person, and that's why bad things happen to me.

I'm not sure if I'm lying to myself or if it's true.

I need to believe that so I can keep going.

Khairul lay on the floor with blood streaming from his nose and mouth, and one of his molars, which had been knocked out, rested beside him. The dining room of his house was a mess, with chairs and tables scattered everywhere, one chair even broken.

Slowly, Khairul turned to the side to see an old man sitting in the living room, smoking, his hand red with traces of blood. Khairul tried to stand, but his legs wobbled, causing him to almost fall.

"Clean up the kitchen... If I come back and it's still a mess, you'll get it worse," the old man ordered as he stood up from the couch and left the living room. Khairul remained silent, wiping the blood smeared across his face.

I've finally been expelled from school.

"They're going to make your life hell at that school." Haha... Nasuha, my life is already like hell.

Khairul turned on the shower, washing himself under the spray. His body was covered in bruises and scars across his back, stomach, and chest. He closed his eyes as the water stung his wounds, but he endured it.

After his shower, Khairul cleaned the kitchen. He picked up the molar from the floor and tossed it into the trash can.

"He was really angry this time..." Khairul muttered as he slid his index finger into his mouth to touch the spot where the molar had once been.

"You're truly the spawn of Satan! You should've died with her!" The old man's words still echoed in my head. I truly wish I had died back then.

Do you think I want to live this badly?

You should have killed me instead of torturing me like this, old man.

"Got into a fight again, Khai?" asked a man in an apron as he stood behind a burger stall. Khairul approached him with a bitter smile and took a seat beside him.

"As usual," Khairul sighed, his face still bruised and battered. The man glanced at him with a tired look and then resumed his work.

"With a face like that... you'll scare the customers away," the man remarked.

"Nobody cares about the state of the person preparing their burger," Khairul replied, leaning his head against the post of the burger stall.

"Do whatever you want. Just open the meat packet," the man directed, pointing his spatula toward the container holding the burger ingredients.

"Got it," Khairul followed the instruction, opening one of the plastic-wrapped patties in the container.

"Isn't PT3 (exam) coming up soon? Will you keep working or take a break to focus on studying? Honestly, I want you to focus on your studies. Plus, I'd get to enjoy a bit more profit if I don't have to pay you for a few months, haha." The man in the apron teased Khairul, trying to lighten the mood. Khairul's expression immediately turned cold.

"I got expelled from school," Khairul said bluntly. The man's mouth dropped in shock, and he turned to Khairul.

"Khai, are you serious?!" The man was in disbelief.

"I already had two warnings, then got into another fight... The school isn't giving me any more chances."

"Ugh, what's going to happen to you now, Khai? I'm not saying anything about your dad, but doesn't he care at all?" The man shook his head, rubbing his temples.

"He cares enough to beat me up. Most of these bruises are from him." Khairul pointed a thumb towards his face. The man set his hand under his chin thoughtfully.

"Khai..."

"But hey, now I can focus all my energy on becoming a successful burger merchant with you. Too bad you'll still have to pay me, just for a much longer time," Khairul smirked toward Hazim.

Hazim's expression shifted to one of concern, and he looked away from Khairul, letting out a long sigh.

"Yeah... sure..." Hazim responded, clearly upset, though Khairul couldn't see his face as Hazim had turned away.

The atmosphere changes at school.

Nasuha entered her classroom, and suddenly the environment tensed up. Everyone stared at her. She swallowed nervously, walking toward her desk, trying to ignore all the eyes on her. After a few moments, they all went back to their own activities.

Nasuha felt uneasy, scanning the room. No one approached her, not even Hanna or her friends, who usually made her life miserable. For once, they left her alone.

At the door of the Discipline Unit, Nasuha knocked a few times. The teacher, Cikgu Syahir, opened it. Nasuha stood in front of him, and his face immediately reflected annoyance.

"Assalammualaikum, teacher," Nasuha greeted.

"Waalaikummusalam... What's the issue this time, Nasuha? I'm really not in the mood to handle any cases right now-you all are exhausting me," Cikgu Syahir groaned.

"I just want to ask... What happened to the boy from the other day? The one who hit Syauqi."

"Khairul? He got expelled. He'd already been warned twice before, for fighting and getting into trouble. The school wasn't giving him any more chances," Cikgu Syahir replied. Nasuha was momentarily surprised but quickly regained her composure.

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"Why are you suddenly asking about him? Don't tell me you asked him to beat up Syauqi..." Cikgu Syahir glared at Nasuha.

"I didn't! Ugh... I just wanted to know," Nasuha sighed.

"Whatever... From what I heard, some people say he's been paid before to beat others up. But the other day was the first time he claimed he hit Syauqi just because he didn't like him," Cikgu Syahir explained, arms crossed. Nasuha nodded as she listened.

Nasuha began visiting all the other Form 4 classes, checking the student lists, but couldn't find Khairul's name. Confused, she checked the Form 5 classes-still no Khairul. Finally, she made her way to the Form 3 classrooms and found his name in the 3-D class list: Khairul Azman bin Mohd Zaki.

"He's younger than me?" Nasuha whispered to herself, feeling a mix of guilt and confusion.

The sky was covered with dark clouds as Nasuha walked home. She glanced up, noticing the ominous weather. She patted the back pocket of her bag, realizing it was empty.

"Ah, I didn't bring my umbrella today," Nasuha muttered to herself. As the rain began to fall, she quickly sought shelter under a row of shop buildings by the road.

The rain started as a light drizzle but quickly turned heavier. Nasuha sat on a nearby bench in front of a convenience store, watching the rain fall and swinging her feet in the air.

That boy who listened to my problems and beat up one of my bullies is stuck in my head. His actions don't make sense... I tried to understand him, but I couldn't get any answers.

Suddenly, the rain began to pour harder. Nasuha snapped out of her thoughts and sighed heavily.

At the same moment, Nasuha and Khairul simultaneously blurted, "The rain's getting heavier."

Nasuha turned to her side, surprised to see Khairul standing next to her. His face, which had been bruised before, now looked somewhat better, though a plaster still covered his nose and mouth. His eyes, once swollen, seemed to have recovered slightly.

"Khairul?" Nasuha was taken aback.

"You... Nasuha?" Khairul also seemed shocked that it was Nasuha who had addressed him. They looked at each other for a while before averting their gazes awkwardly.

"Hah... I didn't expect to see you again," Khairul said with a faint smile, prompting Nasuha to look back at him.

"I heard you got expelled... I'm sorry," Nasuha replied. Khairul leaned his body against the wall.

"Why are you apologizing?" Khairul asked.

"I don't know... I just feel responsible for what happened. PT3 is coming up soon. Can you even find a new school right now? And with your record too..." Nasuha looked concerned, and Khairul's smile turned bitter.

"I don't plan on continuing school anymore. Look at this!" Khairul lifted the plastic bag he was carrying, revealing items like burger patties and buns. "I'm planning to become the next great Ramlee burger seller in Malaysia."

Nasuha chuckled slightly. "You're joking... What parent would let their kid drop out of school?"

Khairul fell silent for a moment before letting out a small laugh. "Maybe mine..."

Nasuha, noticing the fresh bruises on Khairul's face, asked, "What happened to your face? Did you get into another fight?"

Khairul shrugged. "This is just how my life is... fighting, getting hit. I'm not a good person, Nasuha. It's how I deal with things."

The two sat in silence for a moment, listening to the rain, and although the conversation was awkward, Nasuha's concern for Khairul's safety began to deepen.

"I know this isn't the place for me to talk, but you have an issue," said Nasuha.

"What can I do? I'm not a good person. I get angry quickly, I'm not skilled... I solve everything with my fists." Khairul looked at his bruised fingers that were still red and then clenched his fist.

"There must be a problem that makes you like this. Since I was bullied, I started looking at everything with resentment and anger. Wondering why no one understands or wants to help me. But suddenly you came, and your hand saved me. I don't think you're such a terrible person," Nasuha looked at Khairul with a serious expression.

"Because of you, I don't feel like killing anyone anymore, hahaha." He then smiled and laughed at his own joke, while Khairul's eyes widened. He was reminded of another woman who smiled and laughed almost the same way as Nasuha.

A slightly older woman, with glasses and a red scarf.

"You don't know much about me," Khairul sighed, turning his gaze away with a sad expression. Nasuha fell silent again.

Soon after, the rain began to ease, and Khairul quickly stood up, followed by Nasuha, as he took out the motorcycle keys from his pants pocket.

"Come on," Khairul invited.

"Huh? Are we riding a motorcycle?" asked Nasuha as they walked down from the shop building.

"Yeah. Don't worry, I've never had an accident riding a motorcycle." Khairul replied.

"Do you have a helmet for both of us?"

"Oh... We're just going through the park, there are no police around."

Khairul got on the slightly worn blue motorcycle, and Nasuha stood for a moment, still unsure.

"Ugh... Here, you wear this helmet. I won't." Khairul handed over the white helmet that was in the motorcycle's basket.

"Okay." Nasuha nodded while taking the helmet.

Nasuha sat behind Khairul's motorcycle, and they both started to move away from the shop area and onto the park road. Khairul drove the motorcycle not too fast, surprising Nasuha, who thought that a teenager like Khairul would surely speed like the others.

However, he drove quite carefully, and Nasuha's grip on the handle at the back of the blue motorcycle, which was tight earlier, relaxed.

"We've arrived." They stopped in front of a small burger stall by the roadside near a housing park, where Hazim was cleaning up his stall.

"I bought the supplies, and I brought my first customer of the day," Khairul greeted, pointing his thumb at Nasuha, who was approaching him and Hazim.

"Eh? Who?" Hazim asked.

"Nasuha," Khairul responded curtly as he moved towards the back of the stall.

"Um, hi, Nasuha... I'm Hazim, Khairul's boss. Are you two friends?" Hazim asked Nasuha.

Oh no...

Are we...

Just school acquaintances?

Friends?

"More or less... haha," Nasuha replied awkwardly, and Hazim gave her a puzzled look for a moment.

"What burger do you want, Nasuha?" asked Khairul as he lit the gas burner.

"I'll order... a chicken burger," said Nasuha, and Khairul immediately took the chicken patty out of its plastic package.

"Okay, just a moment."

"Can I pay first? How much is it?" Nasuha pulled out her wallet.

"Three and a half ringgit," Hazim chimed in suddenly.

"Alright, here you go." Nasuha handed the money to Hazim while Khairul started preparing the burger she ordered.

After a few minutes...

"Here you go." Khairul placed the wrapped chicken burger in front of Nasuha, who sat at the burger stall's table.

"Ah, thank you." Nasuha immediately unwrapped the burger. The chicken burger was still steaming, and a few pieces of vegetables fell out.

Khairul sat across from Nasuha.

"Eat."

"Are you going to watch me eat?"

"I need to know if you like it or not... Customer satisfaction is important."

"Alright... Bismillah." Nasuha took a bite of the chicken burger while Khairul just watched her.

"It's tasty. Pretty good," Nasuha praised, and Khairul smiled.

Well, it tastes like any other Ramly chicken burger... but he looks so happy... I've never seen him smile like that.

"The stall is pretty close to my neighborhood, do you live nearby too?" Nasuha asked, looking towards the housing park near the burger stall.

"Yeah, I live in the same neighborhood as you," Khairul replied.

"Looks like we can meet again, right?" Nasuha turned to Khairul.

"Come here if you feel like having a burger. Hazim sells them a bit cheaper than the others," said Khairul, glancing at Hazim, who was at the back of the stall.

"Uh... I'd better head home before my dad gets mad." Nasuha started to leave.

"I can give you a ride home," Khairul offered.

"No, it's alright... If my dad sees you giving me a ride home, he'll have a lot of questions. It's a different story if it was far. Anyway, bye-bye." Nasuha waved her hand.

"I understand... Hmm, bye." Khairul raised his right hand, and Nasuha walked away. Khairul just watched her from behind, the wind blowing and her long hair flying in the breeze, with the setting sun turning orange.

Nasuha seemed to shine, and Khairul's smile faded from his face, his raised hand falling to his side.

You shine too brightly for me.

I'm trapped in this darkness.

Please... don't meet me again, Nasuha. Don't think of me as your friend, don't think of me as anyone...

I don't want to stain you with my darkness.