The remainder of our voyage was fairly uneventful. Once we were clear of the waters belonging to the orcish governments, our level of wariness diminished significantly. We started seeing patrol ships along the coast bearing the flag of the Gremmans Confederation. None of those ships seemed the least bit interested in us. We were just another ship doing what ships do – going from one place to another to deliver passengers, or cargo, or trading goods. Jahhaf started grousing about the lack of fresh supplies to cook with and the crew had become so accustomed to the quality of his food that Captain Serxio decided to takes us into a port one day for a little trading. I honestly don’t even remember the place’s name. That’s not really a big surprise to you, I would imagine. We spent several hours in the afternoon wandering around the small city. It was a city devoted to industry and frankly there wasn’t much to see, but anything that broke up the monotony of a long sea voyage was welcome. Of course, my balance and coordination was a little off but we didn’t stay there long enough for seasickness to return in force. And we ate well for the next few days after we got back underway. We were happy, but I think the crew was happier.
The next day, we found ourselves at the inlet to the inner sea, so we turned and started sailing east. Our progress slowed significantly because we spent a lot of time tacking against the prevailing winds of the area. The inner sea that separated the northern and southern continents was much wider than I had imagined. We sailed along the southern coast and the northern coast was not visible. Instead, it lurked far over the horizon. As we made our way north, the weather started becoming a little more temperate. It wasn’t tropical but it was much more reminiscent of the climate on the island. Because the days were warmer, all of us started spending more time up on deck. Aleyda took Mero’s proclamation that he wanted to learn to fight seriously. Beyond the group training that we all still participated in, she had taken him on as a sort of apprentice. I think he started regretting getting what he asked for. She ran him ragged. From sun up to sun down she always had some task ready for him. I think he knew better than to complain. From what I knew of Aleyda’s training methods, complaints would be met with even more exercise. Every couple of days, she would give him part of the day off to rest and recover. I will say this, though. All this constant attention did seem to improve his spirits.
When he had time off, Helvia, Werner, and I worked on his mind. Werner trained him in mathematics, physics and engineering. Helvia’s focus was on business. And me, I guess I became a de facto leadership coach. I tried to share the little wisdom that I possessed with him, but let’s be honest. I wasn’t exactly chock full of wisdom to share. Let’s just say that he spent a whole lot more time learning the practical lessons the other two had to offer than talking to me and leave it at that. All I could honestly offer was a course in making shit up as you go along. Frankly, people want to believe their leaders have immutable, meticulously crafted plans. I swiftly disabused him of that notion and I am not certain he was happy to learn that I was making this all up minute by minute. What I was able to do, though, was talk to him about the bedrock principles that defined me as a person. I hoped he would find the ones that were important to him.
The day after we met to select our destination, I called another meeting. Two meetings in two days? Was I starting to become Caider? This time, the important topic of conversation was my past. I told them all my story just as I had Aleyda and Bowen back on the island. I didn’t try to make myself look good in the telling. I just hit them with the truth of how I had found myself in this world. I let them know about my early struggles, the essence crystals, and the light magic. I don’t know whether the telling made any of them feel better but it certainly was a relief to me. I was tired of keeping secrets from people I cared about. Of course, everyone wanted a demonstration of my amazing magical powers, so I briefly lit up the hold in a wash of warm light. Then, just to add a little spice to the meeting, I used my ring of disguise to change my appearance several times. I think they were more impressed by the ring than anything else. I heard some of them talking about how we would have to buy more of the rings once we made our fortune.
In the same meeting, I had let Anxo and Sathebeena know that I was actually a dirty and despicable five fingered human. I was deeply gratified when it didn’t seem like they cared all that much. “I knew there was more to you than meets the eye,” Sathebeena said.
Even though our progress was not very quick, the wind drove us forward hour after hour and day after day. Even relatively slow travel adds up. I had a lot of time on my hands. Since the cat was already out of the bag about my magic, I spent a lot of time meditating about next steps. I knew there was more to my magic than I was able to access. I just wasn’t certain how to get there from here. I thought I was able to glean a couple of new insights from my pondering but I didn’t try to put them into practice while I was on the ship. The last thing I wanted to do was actually set the hold on fire.
One night, after almost everyone else had retired for the evening, I found myself up on deck. I just couldn’t sleep. The challenges we would face when we arrived in Kollavik were tumbling through my mind. What products would we bring to market? How was I going to make sure that everyone was safe and protected? What sorts of danger would the fighters among us be thrown into time after time?
I must have spent hours out in the dark, the light of the moon and the stars dancing across the water around us. The sailors left me alone. Even the least empathic among them could tell that I had a lot on my mind. As we got closer to daybreak, Jahhaf walked up to me, a warm mug of some sort of tea in his hand. He passed it over to me and I smiled gratefully. Deciding there was no time like the present, I asked if he had time to chat for a few minutes. He said it would slightly delay breakfast, but he did.
“I just want to thank you for all the support you give each and every one of us,” I said. “When we were out on the island eating nothing but preserved rations, we talked about your cooking incessantly. But your worth to all of us goes far beyond your skills in the kitchen. Group dynamics are strange things. People fall into the rolls that suit them. Aleyda is our protector. Patrick is the glue that keeps everything running smoothly. I am the one brainstorming cockamamie ideas. And you, my friend, are our soul. You help mend all of our hurts. You do some of that by taking care of us, but you do more of it by being a kind listener. I just want you to know that we wouldn’t have made it this far without you. I also want you to know that I realize you have your own frustrations, your own heartache. And you spend so much time listening to others that I wonder whether you have anyone who listens to you? If you ever need to talk, if you ever need to unburden yourself to someone, I am more than willing to be that someone.”
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He had become a little choked up as I talked. I wondered whether in his culture a man showing vulnerability made him lesser somehow. I didn’t care, though. We were in a new world and we were making a culture of our own. People called the United States in my world a melting pot of different cultures and traditions. But all those cultures and traditions were from a single world, one with a shared history. We were trying to forge something much more difficult. We had people from multiple worlds and we were trying to come together as a cohesive community. There was no doubt there would be mistakes. There always were. But the key to everything was making an effort to give everyone a place in the community where they could be comfortable.
He sat and stared out at the water for a couple of minutes. I sat there with him in companionable silence as he gathered his thoughts. Finally, he spoke.
“James,” he said, “in my culture men are not supposed to feel. Too much attachment to emotion is seen as a weakness.”
“I understand that,” I said. “Some subsets of my own culture share those values. I have heard it referred to as toxic masculinity.”
“I have been trying to ignore my emotions,” he said. “And I have been failing at it miserably. I hurt so much for everything that I have lost – my business, my friends, and most importantly my family. I never would have dreamed that I would fall asleep and find myself here. When I was captured on the island, I was not treated well. I know that is not a story that is only mine, but it affected me. Sometimes, I think I am dreaming. I hope beyond all reason that one day I will wake up and this will all be something that I imagined. But as more time passes, I realize that won’t be the case.”
“I wish it was a dream,” I replied. “I wish that for all of us. You heard my story. I have been hurt, physically at least, more times and more deeply than I have ever been in my life. I have been tested in ways that I could never have imagined. I have become less open to others, more prone to violence as a solution, and live with much more wariness. Going to that slave auction and freeing all of you, though, was the singularly most important decision I have ever made in my life. I’ll admit it. I got lucky. I am so fortunate to have found all of you. We get along well for the most part. Early, there were some tense moments, but everyone seems to have settled in nicely. I worry about you, though. You take on so many burdens that are not your own. I fear that without an outlet, those burdens will grind you down.”
“You are not the only person I have had this conversation with,” he said. “Mariam is fairly perceptive. She and I had a very similar conversation several months ago. I find sort of a kindred spirit in her. Although she is older than I am, both of us have had many years living as an adult. We have each faced many trials and much heartache. I often unburden myself to her. She is a good listener. No matter how many times we talk, though, there is still a deep well of sadness within me. I don’t know whether I will ever get to the bottom of that well.”
“I understand,” I said. “I have heard before that young people are more resilient. I am not certain that is true at all. You and Mariam both, you have seen so much and done so much. You have experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows that life has to offer and yet you are both still standing, still functional. Change may be easier when you are younger because you are much more accustomed to it. After experiencing enough change, though, I imagine that what you crave more than anything is some stability, a predictable place in the world. I hope to give you that. We are not there yet, though. If you ever do need to talk, though, I am here for you. I will listen without judgment. I want you to know that I value you as a person. You are every bit as vital to what we are building as anyone else.”
“I thank you for your kindness,” he responded. “I am not certain that I will ever be able to repay everything that you have done for me. If you hadn’t purchased me at that auction, I might be living in squalor or dead at this point. If I need someone to talk to, I will find you. You have given all of us a degree of hope that, when I was captive back on the island, I never expected to feel again. You have my thanks.” Then, he got up and headed back to the galley to finish up breakfast. I understood why he had to go. Sailors aren’t always the most patient lot.
I made my way back down into the hold and managed to eke out a few hours of sleep. It was the middle of the morning when I finally emerged back into the sunlight. My people must have understood that I had a restless night because nobody commented on my tardy awakening. I had missed breakfast but that was fine. Lunch was right around the corner and I knew that I would enjoy it.
After a couple of more days of travel, Restru finally appeared. It was located at the mouth of a wide and deep river and even from our distance I could see that it was a major port. Several large docks jutted out deep into the water and there were multistory warehouses lining the waterfront. From this distance it looked like a major city, at least equal in size to Westfield. I assume that the stories I had heard and read about the population density being much greater along the inner sea weren’t an exaggeration. There were many ships making their way to the docks. Leading down towards the port there were a series of rolling hills lined with neighborhoods. From this distance, it appeared that the majority of the construction was limestone which had been quarried somewhere nearby.
As we got closer to the harbor, a pilot boat pulled up alongside us. After conversation back and forth, the harbor pilot had been assured that the only cargo the ship carried was passengers. He boarded and helped the ship navigate to a berth along one of the docks, one of the least prominent I might add. The ships around us were all of similar size. While all of this was going on, we gathered our belongings and prepared to depart. When the ship was finally secured to the dock and the gangplank was run out, Captain Serxio made his way over to us.
“You have been excellent passengers,” he said. “I hope that you find what you are looking for here.” Then he walked over to me. “James,” he said. “Thank you for everything you have done for us. If you ever have need of us again, send word and we will come. Provided your gold is still good.”
“I never got the name of your city,” I said with a little laugh.
“Bologento,” he replied.
“Bologento,” I called out to the others around us. “Will all of you try to remember that for me?” Then turning back to Captain Serxio, I continued. “Did I pay you enough?”
“More than enough,” he said. “In fact, I owe you a refund.”
“Keep it,” I said. “You all have earned it. I will miss you all.”
Then, we walked down the gangplank into a new city and a new culture. I had no idea how we were going to make it to Kollavik, but we would need to do what I had done every since I arrived in this world. Play it by ear.