Even now, when I fall asleep and dream I sometimes find myself back at those pumps fighting for all of our lives. I felt like Sisyphus, but instead of endlessly pushing a boulder up a hill I was pushing water out of the vessel. The sailors tried hard to repair the ship but honestly it required a trip to a dry dock for full repairs. So, we staffed the pumps all day every day fighting against the intrusion of the sea. After some time, a couple of them failed and could not be repaired, meaning that those of us working the ones that remained had to pump harder to keep the water at bay. Because the floor of the hold was constantly damp or just plain wet, most of us had taken to sleeping up on the deck.
One day, after hours of backbreaking labor, I dragged my weary ass up onto the deck for some food and sleep. Our ship, once sleek and fleet, was moving much slower than it had at the beginning of our trip. Missing one sail and being weighed down by water will do that. It was night out when my shift ended and I noticed Captain Clemenzio and the ship’s navigator, a man named Enric, using what appeared to be a crude sextant of some sort. I overheard them arguing about the ship’s position relative to the island, which did not fill me with unbridled confidence.
Anytime the sky would darken with storm clouds, the mood on the ship would become subdued. All of us knew that we could not survive another major storm. We were barely alive after the first one. Thankfully, though, we didn’t experience anything like that again. The stormy weather we did encounter was tame by comparison – slightly rougher seas, a little thunder and lightning, a much gentler rain. As we made our way farther north, the weather warmed some. If it didn’t boost everyone else’s morale, it certainly did mine. Taking a break on a sunny deck beat shivering listlessly in a moldering hold any day of the week.
Our fleet of ships, once so mighty looking and inspiring, had broken up. In some cases that statement was literal but for those that survived the storm it was more figurative. After everyone’s initial recovery, it seemed like many of the navigators could not agree exactly how far the storm had pushed us off course. The navy regrouped and stayed together but the merchant captains, being self-reliant men and women, each trusted their own judgment. From time to time when I was on deck during the day, I would sight another ship far off in the distance, but usually our courses were diverging rather than converging. Soon, days passed without anything around us except for the endless expanse of the open ocean.
One night, Bowen, Aleyda and I were all free at the same time, which was a rarity. Usually at least one of us was below decks pumping away madly. We had rescued the dice I had brought along from my things and our nightly dice games continued most evenings but it was early and we hadn’t started yet. We had been staring pensively out to sea, each lost in our own thoughts when Bowen spoke.
“And to think I thought I was some mighty seafarer in my past life. Now, all I want to do is find land and never leave it again.” Turning to me, he continued. “James, do you think we’ll ever make it to the island or back home?”
“I think we have a good chance,” I replied. “As long as the pumps hold out and the weather is good, I believe we’ll at least make it back home. I can’t imagine Captain Clemenzio will sail around forever looking for the island. If it isn’t where they believe it is, I think we’ll turn back and make a run for the continent. It’s pretty hard to miss. All we have to do is head back to the east. We all may be tired and hungry and in a much sorrier state than when we left, but if we can make it back to the mainland, I think we’re resourceful enough to find our way back home. I believe in us, I just wish there was something more we could do to help our situation here.”
“That’s a lot of ifs,” Aleyda said. “Much could go wrong on the way back home.”
“Well, we can’t walk home,” I replied. “If push comes to shove, we’ll be supporting the captain and the crew. They are our best chance to get out of this alive. Hell, they’re our only real chance. The Captain seems to know what he is doing and if any of the company tries to interfere with the running of the ship then there is only one side that we can choose to be on. Do Caider or any of his men look like sailors to you? Me neither. Frankly, I doubt it will come to that. Everyone should be doing the same calculations in their heads. I worry more about water than food. We have plenty of food that survived in the hold but I don’t think anyone planned for the trip to last this long. I suppose we could capture rainwater with sailcloth or something, but I think we are going to be thirsty long before we get hungry.”
“Sometimes, you’re such a joy to be around,” Bowen said with a little laugh. “What other doom do you foretell, oh great oracle?”
“I see a bad run of luck with the dice, child,” I said jokingly. “And beware the man in the scarlet jacket for he will be your downfall.”
We all laughed a little bit at that. It’s good that we could still laugh. That meant there was still fight left in us.
Time passed and every day was the same. I pumped water in the dank and musty hold. Mold started to grow down there and I was apparently allergic as my nose ran and sometimes I had difficulty breathing while I worked. The rest of the time was spent eating crappy food, or staring out at the ocean hoping to see a speck of land. We played whatever games we could come up with in our spare time just for the meager relief that they offered. Sometimes, a few of the off duty sailors would pull out musical instruments and serenade us with their lonely songs of the sea.
I could tell that some of the crew was starting to get nervous and I think I understood why. If the navigator’s calculations were correct, we should have sighted the island by now. I didn’t know how long we would continue to sail until the expedition was considered a bust and we headed for home but I didn’t think it would be too much longer. One night, I saw Caider and Clemenzio having an animated discussion up near the helm. Caider was clearly advocating for searching a little longer and I could understand his position. He and his men had invested all of their savings on this get rich quick scheme and if they returned empty handed, they would be destitute. I, on the other hand, would rather return empty handed than never return at all. After Caider left, I approached the Captain.
“Captain Clemenzio, can I have a word,” I asked.
He turned to me with a sigh. “A brief one,” he responded.
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“I just want you to know that my friends and I are with you and the crew. If you feel like we’ve missed the island and need to limp our way back to the continent, we support your decision. Sailing to our deaths out here in the hope that we can find a speck of land in the middle of this vast ocean doesn’t make any sense. I have people that depend on me back home and although I know you’re a man of your word and you said that you would get us to the island, shit happens. Nobody can ask you to do something that you are not equipped to do.”
“I do worry about the damage to the ship’s reputation,” he replied. “I agree with you, though. Aren’t you worried about losing your investment like the others?”
“I have a special arrangement with Caider,” I said. “I didn’t invest anything upfront, so I don’t stand to lose anything. Well, nothing except my life if we continue for too long on this fool’s errand.”
“I already said as much to Caider,” Clemenzio responded. “If we haven’t found the island by midday tomorrow, we are sailing back east. If luck is with us, we will all make it back to land safely.”
“Alright. Like I said, if things get ugly then you can count on us. We will fight for you because you give us the best chance of surviving this.” Then, with a nod, I turned and walked away.
We didn’t find the island by the middle of the next day. Captain Clemenzio called everyone onto the deck for a brief meeting.
“We’ve done the best we can to try to find the island, but it’s clear that we have failed. We will be changing heading to the east and sailing back to land immediately. I know this is disappointing to all of you as it is to me. That is all.”
His words caused an uproar among members of the company. The deck echoed with the angry cursing of those that had bet their life savings on this venture and lost.
“We should take the ship,” I heard Yahg angrily exclaim. “Sailing doesn’t look that hard. Surely if we look long enough then we can find the island.”
Before I could open my mouth and form a reply, several others beat me to it.
“Yahg, you’re an idiot,” Dregu said, interrupting his rant. “None of us know how to sail. I lost a bunch of money just like you all have, but being alive and broke is better than being dead at the bottom of the sea. We hired professionals for a reason.”
“But how am I going to explain this to my wife?” Yahg retorted angrily. “Not coming back is probably better than returning empty handed. And least we would be mourned.”
“Feel free to see yourself off the ship,” Pregu said. “We will tell everyone you died doing something stupid and heroic in the storm. You’ll get plenty of mourning.”
Yahg steeped towards the twins with murder in his eyes but neither of them budged an inch. They just stood there, calmly staring at him. I gestured to Aleyda and Bowen and we started sidling our way over behind him. If he attacked the twins it wouldn’t be one on two, it would be one on five.
Yahg spun around and seeing us behind him barged straight towards us.
“Get out of my way,” he screamed at me and then roughly shoved me to clear space. I stumbled back a couple of steps.
“That one’s free,” I yelled at his back. “If you do something like that again, the next time you won’t like the price.”
“Whatever, little man,” he spat back over his shoulder.
The rest of the company had started to calm down. I think in their hearts, they all knew the decision was the correct one. I didn’t think we would have a mutiny on our hands and I was glad.
We set sail back to the east, headed towards home. Nobody wanted to game that night. Every other member of the company was sullen, their dreams of riches dashed by the vagaries of fate.
The next day, I worked my shift at the pumps and then retreated to the clean sea air above deck. I was just lying there in the middle of the afternoon when I heard one of the sailors up in the rigging call out to Captain Clemenzio.
“Captain, I see a flock of birds to the southeast.”
I sat up in interest. We hadn’t seen birds in any number in weeks. And I knew if there was a flock of birds, then there was likely land. And if I knew that, the Captain clearly did as well because I heard him calling out a new heading.
As the ship changed course, I desperately wanted to climb the rigging to see what the sailor had seen, but I knew I wouldn’t be welcome up there. I strained my eyes looking, but I couldn’t see anything in our new direction of travel. The height offered by the mast and rigging clearly put the sailors in a more advantageous position to spot anything. Hours passed as we limped along but no matter how many times I looked around me, the vista never changed. I hoped the lookout hadn’t lost it and wasn’t imagining something that didn’t exist.
Just before sunset, the sailor called down again.
“I see land, Captain. Adjust heading three points to the south.”
Pandemonium erupted around me. People were cheering. Others were openly weeping. Yet, the captain and the crew were all business, adjusting the course and the rigging.
“Is that the island we’re after?” Bowen asked me.
“I think there’s only the one,” I replied. “I haven’t heard of any others, but I suppose there could be more.”
“We must have overshot the island initially,” Captain Clemenzio called out. “It’s easy for that to happen with a course deviation of even a couple of degrees. The port is on the other side of the island and I have heard there are reefs on this side. I don’t want to risk the ship at night, so we will approach until we have the land well in sight and then hold position. We’ll find the harbor tomorrow.”
I could tell that there were several people who wanted to be off the ship as soon as possible, but they would need to exercise some patience. It would suck to make it this far and then lose everything when the ship was holed by a reef, unseen in the dark. I thought Clemenzio’s decision was a prudent one.
That night, everyone was in a friendly, celebratory mood. Well, everyone but me. I had resigned myself to the fact that we were never going to make it to the island so I had largely stopped planning what to do when we arrived. Now, all my worries and concerns returned with full force.
Once more, it was the three of us versus two governments and numerous company expeditions. I wanted to save as many people as I could. So many times in the past, I was confident when I should have been cautious. This time, I had to get things right. Lives were in the balance.
I spent a long time that night morosely staring into the darkness until finally I drifted off to sleep. This was the toughest challenge I had ever faced. Would I rise to the occasion or add another entry into my long list of failures?