I awoke groggy and slow, covered in full body sweats but well rested. Mid-morning sunshine shone through a gap in my curtains, illuminating the tiny dust particles dancing in the shaft of light and I could hear the hubbub and hum of the city going through its routines. I felt like I had been hit by a bus then reversed over the top of. My muscles scream in protest as I sit up and I groan. Swinging my legs out from under the covers, I get up, my knees almost giving way underneath me. I flop back down on the bed.
Full body aches and wet noodle strength. I suppose that was payback for ruining that farmer’s field that they had put so much effort into.
I felt so weak compared to the power I had yesterday. My mind went back to that expelling of energy and a part of me longed to feel that powerful again. If I was that powerful all the time I would never have to worry about the ASF ever again, there's no way they could stop me, but as of right now I was weak, sweaty and sore. Nothing a nice shower couldn’t help with.
Just as I was about to stand up once again, I spotted a note on my bedside table with my name on it in Ragneth’s familiar scrawl. It read;
Marradole,
I’ve been summoned by the Queen. I didn’t want to leave you but according to the messenger they sent, the Queen seems irritated. Never a good sign. There’s food in the microwave for you to eat, I had brought it up to you yesterday but you were dead to the world. It should still be OK to eat.
I should be back tonight. We can practise when I’m home.
Love you,
Ma.
Queen? More like an overgrown baby.
I roll my eyes, can’t that woman do anything for herself? It probably wasn’t even important. Rich bitches and their rich bitch problems. Still I couldn’t help but feel a flicker of excitement at the promise of practising magic with Ragneth later tonight. She was the most powerful mage I’ve ever known, and I’m pretty sure the most powerful mage the kingdom has ever known too.
I had heard stories about Ragneth’s capture before. The hushed tones as they spoke about the sheer power they had seen. The stories all started the same. Ragneth had been cornered by the military after performing a fireworks display for New Years Eve in the local market square, the Arcane Suppression Force had not been created yet and the law against magic was fairly new at this point, the Queen having only just been crowned herself.
The stories go that Ragneth took out the military quickly and skilfully. It was an impressive sight to behold, squad member after squad member went after her. Whole battalions fell to her hand. She was unstoppable.
Until the Queen strolled up.
The Queen has never left her castle, not before this point nor after. She confined herself to her castle. But that day she walked into that market square with an air of confidence unmatched by anyone. Parting the throngs of people that had stayed to watch the fight ensue. She stepped over the dead and the dying to stand directly in front of Ragneth. She had that signature smirk on her face as she towered over the other woman. She said something to Ragneth, but the words were lost to the wind.
That was when Ragneth went apeshit. She screamed a guttural scream, a scream that resonated from the depth of your soul. A tornado whipped around her as she let her magic control her. The wind was strong enough to knock down walls, blow off roof tiles and destroy the market stalls beyond recognition. But the Queen stood there unfazed. Her suit blazer and royal cape flapping aggressively in the howling wind.
Once the wind died down and the dust settled on the scene. Ragneth was on her knees in front of the Queen. Her head bowed in shame and her chest rapidly raising and falling.
The Queen pulled out a pair of handcuffs, covered in runes to bind the magic of a mage. The runes glowed a light blue once the cuffs were snapped onto her wrists.
The last thing that anyone heard from the pair before they left back to the castle was from the Queen, who had gripped Ragneth’s chin and made her look her in the eyes, her smirk having never left her face the whole altercation. Her voice was calm and strong as she said “You’ll do nicely”
I had tried asking Ragneth if this was true, but she never answered me, either pretending to ignore me or changing the subject completely.
Pulling myself out of my daydream, I make my way into the shower, enjoying the warm water relaxing my muscles. The tiny cuts caused by running through the thorns and brambles during my chase yesterday stung as they were hit with the stream. Twenty minutes later, I was out of the shower and dressed in jeans and a comfy jumper. Hoping to just relax until my training session later today, but much to my dismay, the doorbell rang. A part of me jumped with panic as I imagined it was the Binders coming to take me away, but I relaxed and cursed myself for being so jumpy when I realised that they wouldn’t ring my doorbell, they’d break the door down and haul me away.
I plodded over to the door and opened it, unsure who I would see on the other side, only to be met with someone I hadn’t expected.
Lucan
My eyes widened in surprise. Why was he here? Had he come to have it out with me about what I had said to his parents? I was instantly on the defensive. If he thinks I’m going to apologise, he has another thing coming.
“Lucan,” I said coldly as I folded my arms across my chest “What do you want?”
“Hey Veylyn, I just wanted to check in on you” He was more down to earth, almost nervous and shy compared to the puppy dog attitude he had yesterday.
“Not here to finish what your parents started are you?” my tone biting and he flinched, shrinking into himself when I brought up his parents.
“No! Not at all! I actually.. I wanted to apologise about yesterday. You know, about what they said” he replied. He looked awkward and his eyes kept darting to the ground, not able to hold my intense gaze.
I raised an eyebrow at him. This wasn’t a conversation I was willing to have on my doorstep for the whole street to hear. I held the door open wider for him and stepped aside, gesturing to him to come in. He flashed me a thankful smile before dashing inside.
Closing the door behind him, I led him into the living room. The walls were a dark blue like the night sky and the sofa was well worn through years of use. There were only a few pictures on the walls, a stark contrast to the numerous amount of pictures and frames that had littered Lucan’s living room. I liked our living room. It might be small but to me, it was cosy.
I gestured for him to take a seat “You know, I expected their apology to come from them rather than their son. How did you get roped into this?” I inquired as I sat cross legged in my favourite spot on the sofa. Lucan’s cheeks flushed red.
I knew they hadn’t sent him to apologise. I just wanted to make him squirm. It was mean but what the hell, I needed entertainment.
“W-well you see.. They- that isn’t to s-say that they wouldn’t but-” he spluttered in an attempt to explain.
I hold up my hand, effectively silencing him. He was ridiculously easy to control. No wonder his parents walked all over him.
“Relax, I know they didn’t send you to apologise.” I say dropping my hand. “You know, you don’t have to apologise for them. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I assured him
He sighed “I know but.. Hearing the things they said about you.. And about your mum. I couldn’t let you believe that we’re all like that in the family.”
“Gweniveve not following in the religious family footsteps then?” I ask as I rest my head in my hand.
Lucan shook his head “too early to say. Sometimes she comes out with some stuff that mum and dad like to rant and rave about but other times she seems able to break out and have opinions of her own” he shrugged “Honestly I was mostly talking about my older brother – Stanley.”
I tilt my head to the side, and older brother? I hadn’t seen any evidence that there was another kid in the family. Only pictures of Gweniveve and Lucan through the years. “You have an older brother?”
Lucan nodded, a ghost of a smile on his face as he thought about his brother “Yeah. He’s pretty cool. He’s five years older than me and doesn’t live with us any more. He hasn’t for a long time”
“Oh?” my interest piqued “How so?”
Lucan jumped into the story “Stanley never saw eye to eye with mum and dad. He was a bit of the family rebel really. Constantly out exploring the ‘darker parts’ of the city” he used air quotations at that part “A few years ago, he and mum got into a massive argument. It started out as something simple. Stanley was telling mum about a date he had with this guy, Alan Wakeford. He had called it a magical evening and mum went ballistic”
“A bit like when you said I was a wizard with spices?”
He nodded, his nervousness slowly fading away back into his chipper attitude, and continued on “Anyway, the two of them kept arguing and arguing. Eventually mum accused Alan of being a mage, threatening to call the Binders on him and everything. Stanley started raging at mum, saying that her religion was making her blind with hate. How the world would be so much better with magic. He told her how he had seen mages heal wounds that would require weeks of recovery in seconds. How he had seen mages grow enough food to feed the poor ten times over. He said that he wished that he had been born a mage, rather than, and I quote ‘being born from a hateful bitch and controlling husband hell bent on causing people misery’ of course, my mum kicked him out the house, told my dad and they removed him from the family pictures, threw all his stuff out on the street and turned his room into an office. He hasn’t been back since”
I let out a low whistle. So the family had a mage sympathiser. Bet that was a blow to the Congregation of Puritans members. I realised that this would be a perfect opportunity to casually ask about his stance on the matter. See if he really is different from his parents.
“So what about you? Are you a blasphemous mage sympathiser like your brother or do you have a stick up your butt like your parents?” OK, so maybe not that casual, but subtlety wasn’t my thing.
His face broke out into a wide grin “I think Mages are awesome! My brother took me to see Alan once and he had the ability to mend anything that broke like nothing happened!” It took a few seconds for him to realise what he said before he quickly clasped his hand over his mouth as if to physically stop himself from letting out any more secrets.
I couldn’t help it. I let out a chuckle. “Don’t worry. Your secret – and Alan’s, is safe with me. Although you really should be more careful” I warn him.
He lowered his hand and looked down in shame “I know, I just.. Magic is so cool! I don’t know why people are so scared of it” he exclaimed
I shrug, not wanting to get into the politics of things. He went on to ask “Do you know anyone who is magic?”
I look at him and raise an eyebrow. Is this guy for real? I literally had an argument with his parents over Mrs Garrett being a mage.
“I’m going to give you a few seconds to just rethink what you asked me, so you can phrase it differently” I tell him deadpan I wasn’t mad. I was just surprised someone could be so thick. He looked back at me with a confused frown on his face. I could practically hear the cogs in his mind turning.
“The penny is in the air..” I mumble. His face instantly drops as he realised what he said “The penny drops” I finish.
“Veylyn, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot.” he said in a pleading voice as if begging for my forgiveness. I wave his apology away. Like I said I wasn’t mad. “I meant to say, do you know any other mages?”
I frown, where was this going? Why did he want to know? Is he genuinely curious or is he trying to play me like a fool? I try and act nonchalant as I asked him in reply
“Why do you ask?”
“I’m just curious, other than Alan, I’ve never met any other mages.” he explained. I still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a trick. Although Ragneth being a mage was practically public knowledge, I didn’t want him thinking that I was magic too. He was stupid, but not stupid enough to not put two and two together. Everyone knows magic is genetic, if both parents are magic then the kid will be too. And since he didn’t know I was “adopted”. Well you can see where I was coming from.
I raise an eyebrow at him and cross my arms, leaning back in my seat “What? Looking to expand your repertoire of mage friends?”
He grinned “I’m always happy to make new friends. If they’re magic, that’s a plus. Maybe they’ll have a spell to stop me from burning my toast!”
I snort “You don’t need a spell for toast you need one for common sense”
He laughed “yeah I suppose that would help.” he paused, his tone heavier than before. More serious. “Can I ask you a question?”
I nod, anything to get him off this topic.
“Your mum was a mage right? What was it like living with magic?”
I was caught off guard by the question but I couldn’t help but smile at the memories of Mrs Garrett. They were happy but tinged with a touch of sadness
“It was pretty cool, Mrs Garrett – my mum – had the ability to summon and command animals. It wasn’t a particularly strong set of magic skills, hence why she was burnt but it made coming home from school fun.” I let out a chuckle “I remember one time I came home from school and there was a fox, a badger, Mrs Garrett and a particularly pissed off looking pigeon playing a card game at our dining table. Rummy, I think.” I shrug “living in a magic household isn’t any different than a normal household I don’t think, other than the obvious.”
“Wasn’t it scary?” he asked quietly
I tilt my head in confusion “Scary? Why would it be scary? I mean it shocked me a bit whenever a particularly big animal came into our house. But like I said Mrs Garrett could communicate and command them so I was never in danger.”
He shook his head and practically mumbled his reply, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, I meant the magic itself. My family always said that magic was dangerous. Unstable at times”
My mind instantly flew to the previous day. Magic could be dangerous but how much of that danger is due to lack of practice or fear of prosecution?
Lucan continued on “and my teachers always said that magic was bad too. That mages were a risk to the public. That they want to take over the kingdom and turn everyone without powers into slaves, that’s why the royals are the only ones who can have mages. So they can be used for the kingdom rather than against it.”
I had heard something like that in my own school life. It was practically ingrained in kids from a young age. I knew what he said held no malice behind it. This could be an opportunity to educate him on the matter, but I had to step carefully so as not to reveal things about myself or Ragneth.
“Let me ask you something, Lucan.” I began, my voice softer than normal. “Mages aren’t bad people. They can’t control being mages, it’s genetic. Just like you can’t control being blonde with brown eyes. Sure, you can hide it by dying your hair and wearing contacts, but you’ll always be blonde. You’ll always have brown eyes.” I uncross my arms and lean forward in my seat, my gaze was intense as I tried to drill home what I was talking about. “If the Queen made a rule tomorrow, saying that people who are blonde are all inherently evil and are looking to take over the kingdom. Would you believe that all blondes are bad?”
He shook his head aggressively “No, no of course not!”
“So, you think it would be wrong to be prosecuted and executed or taken away just before being blonde?” I pressed
“Yes! Absolutely. No-one should be executed for something they have no control over. They never asked to be blonde” he stated animatedly
“So if we took that logic and applied it to Mages. Would you think the same? Do you think mages want to be prosecuted, executed and arrested just for being magic? Just for a certain code of genetics they have no control over? Mages are people after all”
His gaze grew distant as he thought deeply about what I said, I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head. “No-one should be executed for just being themselves..” he said softly “I was always taught that magic was bad, I never thought about what it must be like for those on the other end of the spectrum. To be magic in a world full of hate, to be hated for merely being yourself, having to hide for your safety must be awful and tiring..”
I say nothing and just nod at him. He looked so downtrodden and disheartened as he took everything I said to heart. I watched as he mentally applied what I said to how he had been raised. The mood was depressing. I attempted to change the subject. “Well, since you’re here, how about we do something fun? Maybe we can hang out for a bit?”
He instantly perked up “Oh! How about going to see a movie, they’re showing a new one at the cinema. Supposed to be really gory.”
Talk about fucking whiplash! This boy can change his emotions at the drop of a hat I swear.
“A gory film? I didn’t pin you as the type Lucan.” I comment as I blink away my surprise
“I’m not but I figured you were.” he said with a shrug.
Just as I was about to answer, a black clad duo of ASF squad members strolled past my front window and my blood seemed to freeze in my veins and my heart started to race, I felt like it could have beat right out of my chest. They looked more decked out then they had before. Wearing what looked like night vision goggles on their helmets. Their guns looked bigger and meaner and their belts held small cylindrical objects. Some sort of grenade perhaps?
Were they here for me? Had I been found out? Was all this new tech because I had gotten away? I watch them stroll slowly down the street. They were patrolling. Lucan seemed to notice me staring.
“You know, it’s strange. That’s the third pair of Binders I’ve seen today. Most of the time I’d be lucky to see one of them.” He scratched his head in thought “I wonder why they’re suddenly around?”
I kept quiet, my mind was a tornado of thoughts, none within reach. Each thought seemed fleeting and panicked, it was all I could do to keep myself grounded. I had dreamt of being magic ever since I was a child, I always told myself that I could handle the responsibility but maybe that wasn’t true. Things had gotten scary quickly.
It must have been a while since I spoke because Lucan tapped me on my shoulder, making me jump.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump. But you never replied to my movie idea. You wanna go?” he asked, seemingly completely oblivious to my reaction to the Binders.
If there are increased patrols, I couldn’t risk the patrols spotting me, I had no idea if they had spotted my face when they had chased me. No, it was best to stay inside until the heat died down. “Not today, Lucan. Maybe another time”
His face fell into a pout. Was he sad? I thought he didn’t like gory films. Gods I didn’t understand this boy. “Why are you pouting? You just said gory films weren’t your thing”
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“I know but I wanted to hang out and I was really craving some popcorn” Lucan whined.
I sigh and think about the environment Lucan would be going back to if he left now. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we watch a film here for a bit? Gets you away from your toxic household for a few more hours.” I pause, the idea of popcorn sounded really appealing now “I’ll even make us some popcorn.”
Lucan’s face lit up and he grinned “Yes! That would be awesome! What kind of film do you wanna watch? I’m a chick-flick kinda guy personally. I love girl power, it’s so empowering and feel good!”
As if he couldn’t get any more sickly. Chick-flicks? Seriously?! Not in this household.
I send him a cold stare. “No chick-flicks. We have horror or action DVD’s on the bookshelf”
He nodded, his mood not dampening “I’ll have a look while you make the popcorn. I’ll come grab you if I need you?”
I shake my head “Absolutely not, you aren’t permitted within my kitchen. I can’t trust you not to blow it up or something even when you’re not cooking” I tease as I head into the kitchen, leaving him to pick out a film.
I heard him shout “Can we have salted popcorn?”
Salted popcorn?! As if I thought he couldn’t get any worse! Blurgh!
“No! It’s sweet or nothing!” I shout back. I hear an ‘aww’ in defeat but heard no arguments back.
As I stood in front of the oven waiting for the kernels to pop, my mind drifted back to the patrol I had seen earlier, my brain lingering on the image of the heavy looking gun they now carried. As the first kernel popped I was instantly transported back to the woods, the memory of the rubber bullets whizzing past my head felt so real, I thought I was back in the chase. Another pop. Another gunshot. The sound seemed distant, like I was underwater, drowning in the memory.
The popping accelerated as the popcorn neared completion but I barely noticed. More popping, more gunshots. Fear gripped my chest, wrapping around my heart. I could feel my magic beginning to boil up as I struggled to pull myself away from the memory of yesterday.
I grabbed the side of the oven to keep myself from panicking completely. I must have accidentally touched the pan in the process because pain blossomed over my hand, effectively pulling me from my memory. I curse and rush to run my hand under the tap. Letting out deep breaths as I try to calm myself. My magic calming to a low simmer. I heard the sound of rushing footsteps.
Oh good, the puppy was here to rescue me.
I turned to the door of the kitchen and held up my remaining hand, stopping Lucan in his tracks “What did I say about my kitchen? Shoo, before my microwave explodes or something” I tell him as the cold water soothed the burn. It stung like a bitch but nothing I couldn’t handle.
“But I heard swearing. Is everything OK?” he asked, his face filled with worry.
“A little kitchen mishap. Nothing to worry about. You pick a film?” I ask him. Hoping it was a decent one and not one of the musical DVD’s Mrs Garrett had a thing for.
Don’t tell anyone but when we missed her, we would stick one on and pretend she was here. We even sang along to them like she used to.
He nodded, his grin was back, worry no longer evident on his face.
“Good, go close the curtains and set up the DVD. You need HDMI port one. The TV remote is on the coffee table. I’ll be through in a minute with the popcorn” I instructed him. I watch as he rushes away and I sigh. Babysitting an overexcitable man-child was definitely not on my to-do list today but here we are.
The popcorn had stopped popping so I dried my hands and dumped the contents of the pan into a large mixing bowl so we could share. I sprinkled a generous helping of sugar on top. It smelled great. I had coated the pan and kernels with butter before they had popped and I couldn’t help but munch on a handful of popcorn on my way back into the darkened living room.
To my surprise, Lucan had picked up a particularly gory horror film, filled with jump scares and scenes of intense violence. It was actually one of my favourites. Settling down once again in my spot on the sofa, I hand Lucan the bowl and his eyes filled with hunger. I hit play on the remote and sat back.
Lucan is going to hate it. I can’t wait.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I regret everything.
Lucan had looked away at every gory scene and screamed at every jump scare. More than once he had gripped my arm and hid his head in my side. I had pushed him off the first few times but my arms were getting tired by the fourth time of aggressively shoving him off me. I had to sit there with him hanging off me for the duration of the film and to top it all off the fat cunt ate all the popcorn!
He said he didn’t even like sweet popcorn but he had more than I did!
As the credits rolled, Lucan had the nerve to look at me and say it was a really good movie. He hadn’t even seen half it! Too busy being a pussy and hiding himself behind me.
Suddenly the front door swung open, startling me so much I practically jumped out my skin, my nerves already shot from the events of yesterday and the extra ASF patrols today. But at least I hadn’t screamed like Lucan. He had let out a shriek that could have shattered glass, making me jump. Again! I retaliated with a punch to the shoulder and he looked at me apologetically as he rubbed his shoulder.
Ragneth’s confused face appeared at the door to the living room, obviously flummoxed as to where the screaming had come from. She spotted Lucan sitting next to me and came into the living room, one hand on her hip while the other held an old looking leather bound book. “Veylyn. Who is this?” she questioned. Slipping into ‘mum mode’.
“Ma. This is Lucan.” I told her simply
She frowned. “The boy from that horrible family next door?” I could feel Lucan shrink beside me as if trying to be swallowed up by the sofa cushions.
“Relax, Ma. He’s not like them.” I assured her. Ragneth didn’t seem convinced.
“And what is he doing here?”
“He came over to apologise for what his parents said yesterday. Then we watched a movie” I turned to him “Right, Lucan?”
“R-right!” he stammered out “We had popcorn and watched a scary film”
“So the reason I opened the door to screams was because…?”
“Lucan got scared.” I reply with a shrug. Lucan rubbed the back of his neck as he let out a nervous chuckle. I checked my watch quickly and realised it was only just past one in the afternoon. Ragneth was home early for once, I wondered why, so I asked “How come you’re home so early. Your note said you wouldn’t be back until this evening”
Her eyes flickered between me and Lucan “I’ll tell you later.” clearly this had something to do with magic. Something she didn’t want to discuss in front of Lucan. Maybe something to do with yesterday? The cold hand of panic gripped my heart again and I sent her a nod in understanding.
Ragneth quickly summoned up a smile and directed her attention to Lucan, who seemed completely oblivious to the tension in the room. “So Lucan, guessing by the screaming I came home to, I’m assuming you’re not a fan of horror films. What are your favourite films to watch?”
“I like comedies or romances. I’m a sucker for a good love story.” he told her.
“Any particular one?” Ragneth asked as she plopped herself down in an old armchair. Placing the book on her lap. That chair was her favourite place in the living room to sit.
He shook his head “there are too many to choose from.”
“You didn’t let Veylyn bully you into watching that film did you. They can be a bit demanding sometimes” Ragneth commented.
“Ma!” I exclaim, shocked. Ragneth just chuckled.
“What? You can be” she teased. I frown and cross my arms.
“Guess which parent I got that from” I mumble as I strop playfully. Lucan laughed along with us.
“Not at all. They let me choose from the ones on the shelf. I almost picked one of the musicals but I had a feeling Veylyn wasn’t the one who picked those ones” he said with a smile on his face.
“You’d be right, neither Veylyn nor I like musicals. It was Mrs Garrett who enjoyed musicals. We always got roped into watching them with her.” her tone was still polite but there was a sadness to it as she thought about the older woman.
“Veylyn told me a story about Mrs Garrett! She seemed like a nice woman” Lucan commented.
Ragneth raised an eyebrow and sent me a look, clearly one silently asking me what I had told him. “Oh did they now?” she asked him “What story was that?”
“The one where Veylyn came home to Mrs Garrett playing cards with a bunch of animals!” he stated excitedly, the idea of magic making him giddy.
“How on earth did that come up in conversation?” She laughed as she tried to subtly gauge how much Lucan knew about us. Lucan, like usual, was ignorant to the line of questioning he was being subjected to and responded with his usual chipper-ness
“We were talking about mages and magic. I was curious as to what it was like living in a magic household”
Ragneth frowned. “How did you know we were magic?”
We? As much as Ragneth was smart, sometimes she jumps the gun at times and assumes people know more than they do. This could get us in trouble. I responded quickly before Lucan could get a word in.
“Ma, everyone knows mum was a mage, she was publicly burnt at the stake. Lucan knew she was my mum so was just curious” I told her, hoping she’d understand where I was coming from. ‘We’ wasn’t a thing for all Lucan knew.
Ragneth made a noise of understanding, the conversation seemed to settle into a lull until Lucan spots the book on Ragneth’s lap.
“That book looks old. What’s it about?” he asked
Ragneth’s brow furrowed as she looked down at the book in her lap. She seemed to contemplate something before replying “It’s a book about spells and mana.”
I was dumbfounded. Did she really just reveal to Lucan she had a book on magic. Did she really find him that trustworthy? I sat back and let the conversation flow, curious as to how she would handle it. If I were her, I would have lied through my teeth, said it was about dragons or some shit.
Lucan’s eyes lit up in delight then his own brow furrowed in confusion “A book on magic? But aren’t they all banned? I thought only the Queen had access to those?” he inquired.
Ragneth nodded “You’re right. She’s the only one with access to books like these” she stated as she brandished the book around. “You seem like a nice boy, so I’ll tell you a secret. You know that the Queen and the surrounding Royal family have mages to help them and do whatever they need?” she explained with a hint of bitterness in her voice. Lucan stated he did, so she carried on “Well, I work directly for the Queen. Which means I get special treatment, hence why I get to come home instead of staying in the castle.”
Whoa, talk about dropping a bombshell. Ragneth basically just admitted to being magic. Way to ruin all my work. Now he’s definitely going to think that I’m magic. Nice one, Ma!
I quietly seethe from my spot on the sofa, sending daggers at Ragneth, my mind fuming as to how she could fuck me over like this.
Lucan blinked in confusion as he slowly put everything together, his face slowly splitting into the widest smile “You’re the Queen’s mage?! That’s amazing! You must be super powerful!” he turned to me and I quickly made to swap my angry face to a more calm one. “Veylyn! You never told me you had another mage as a mum! Doesn’t that mean you’re magic too?!” he practically bounced up and down in his seat in excitement.
I tried to play it off as I glared at Ragneth who just shrugged and mouthed “You got this” She must be trying to teach me some sort of lesson because there was no way she would do this to me with no reason. Not with everything that happened yesterday.
“No, you doofus. I’m adopted” I shot back at him as I rolled my eyes, he just tilted his head at me. Really playing up that innocent puppy look. I sighed. Did I really need to explain basic biology to him? Technology and medicine had come far, making it possible now to make a baby without sperm. It used stem cells or something like that. But back then when I was born, it was never deemed possible.
“Do I really need to explain basic biology to you, Lucan? I have two mums, as I’m sure you noticed. Kind of missing a key ingredient for making a baby.” I told him and he looked at me sheepishly, reddening in the cheeks.
He quietly mumbled “oh yeah” and rubbed the back of his neck again. A gesture I noticed he did when he felt awkward or embarrassed.
“How are you eighteen years old but don’t know how babies are made? Did you just completely miss those biology lessons?” I tease him before adding “or even watch porn?” this earned me a clip round the ear from Ragneth. I apologised rubbing the back of my head.
“It slipped my mind! I got side tracked by the magic!” he defended.
Just then a loud knock came out of nowhere. It was rough and impending. Clearly nothing good could come from whoever was on the other side. My body instantly froze and stiffened. Ragneth’s head instantly turned to the door, then back to Lucan as she stood up from her chair, placing the book on the coffee table as she did so “Perhaps Lucan, it is time for you to go home. You may leave through the back door.” she said lightly but her voice had a cold edge to it. Clearly she wasn’t expecting guests.
Lucan agreed and headed towards the back door, before he grasped the door handle in his hand, Ragneth called out to him “And remember Lucan. This was a secret. Not a word of what we spoke about to anyone. You understand?” her voice was low and threatening. He gulped and nodded, exiting quickly. Ragneth sent me a look that told me to be ready. The loud knock came again, quicker this time, the person clearly growing impatient on the other side.
She strode purposefully to the door, gesturing to me to stay where I was before she opened the door. I couldn’t see who it was from where I was in the room due to the angle but I could hear Ragneth’s and the stranger’s voice over the top of the DVD menu.
“Can I help you?” Ragneth’s stern voice called out to the stranger
“I’m looking for my son” came the equally stern and disgusted voice of Markus Mattock
“I have no idea who you’re talking about” came her reply
“Bullshit. I know he was here. Hanging out with your devil spawn. Disgusting heretic” came his snappy remark. There was a pause before Ragneth said anything. I could hear the sneer in her low voice and could just imagine the daggers she was throwing him.
“And what do you think you’re insinuating?”
“You know exactly what I mean, Witch. You may have high standings with the Queen but you’re nothing but a loathsome mage to me” he spat with venom
Ragneth let out a dark chuckle “So you know who I am. So you should know what I’m capable of” her voice dropped even lower and became threatening. “Insult my child again and you’ll see first hand why the Queen prefers to keep me close. Now get the fuck off my property”
I didn’t hear a reply but I did hear the door slam violently. I let out a woop, a grin on my face.
“Go Ma! That was badass! You told him!” I called out to her as she came sauntering back into the living room. Her grumpy face broke into a proud smile at my reaction before falling back into a serious expression. Before she could say anything I blurted out with a hint of anger in my voice as I stood up from the sofa, my hands on my hips.
“Why did you tell Lucan about you? Do you know how close it was to me being outed as a mage?”
Ragneth came over and placed her hands on my shoulders, her voice calm. “Not only was it a lesson on thinking on your feet but the boy was curious. Being curious about magic can be dangerous for all parties involved. You don’t want him getting curious with the wrong people or it can all go wrong.” she explained to me before continuing “I told him I was magic because it’s public knowledge that I am a mage. I am the safest person he can talk to if he has questions. A kid like him would be tailed faster by the Binders quicker than you could say ‘arcane’ if he was found to be asking too many questions.”
I take a moment to absorb everything she said. She was right. The ASF tended to put tails and undercover members on mage sympathisers in the hopes of sniffing out a mage or two. They were not above playing dirty to get what they wanted. They’d use Lucan without second thought – he’d be easy prey to them. She had done it all to protect me and Lucan. Always two steps ahead that woman. I never know why I doubt her sometimes.
My eyes flickered around the room, catching the bound book on the coffee table. Leading me back to Ragneth coming home early. “Now that Lucan is gone, why did you come home early? Is everything OK?” I tried to keep my voice calm but inside I felt nervous.
Ragneth’s face turned sombre. “The Queen knows there’s a high level mage. She’s upping patrol routes around the city and has given the Arcane Suppression Force access to the armoury. She’s pulling out all the stops to try and find you, Veylyn.”
A wave of panic washed over me and I dropped to the sofa. My mind swarming with nonsensical thoughts as I felt fear and anxiety grip my chest. What the hell was I going to do? Ragneth hurried to sit next to me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder as she continued “But it’s alright; she doesn’t know who you are. We can use this to our advantage. We just need to wait for this all to die down, make sure you don’t lose control again.” I don’t say anything, just nod and focus on my breathing. Taking in deep breaths to try and calm down.
Ragneth carried on “The good news is, the Queen is distracted at the moment. Her mind is elsewhere. There’s whispers of war from the neighbouring kingdom which require her utmost attention.”
My eyes widened in shock as I looked at her. War?! Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse.
Ragneth rushed to comfort me, clearly seeing that the idea of war was just another point on the scales tipping me into full blown panic. “They’re only whispers but they’re enough to worry her. They’re not important to us, let's just focus on getting your magic under control and understanding it better. That's the one thing we can control, alright?”
I let out a shaky breath and nod “Alright..” I take a minute to compose myself before asking “Will that book help us with my magic…” I had no idea how to phrase what had happened to me during the chase so I settled on “problem?”
Ragneth grabbed the book off the coffee table and flipped it open to a page she had marked with a colourful post-it note. “Potentially. I’ve had a quick flick through it and there are references made to something very similar happening to the writer of this book.” She started reading the passage from the book “Perhaps it was merely my faith that made it so, but I swear to the Gods above and below that I was no longer the controller of my magic, but their catalyst. My fear, my cowardice brought forth powers I had never have fathomed. Like I was picked by the Gods themselves.”
My ears perked up, that sounded almost exactly like what I had experienced. My fear from being chased and my cowardice to not get caught triggered something but I wasn’t in control. It was like my mana was in the drivers seat. Like I was just some thing running on pure survival instinct “that’s it! That’s exactly what it felt like! As if I was just a tool”
Ragneth looked at me, her look unreadable before she closed the book, the tip of the coloured post-it note sticking out the top of the yellowing pages. “How much of your school RE lessons do you remember?” She asked me.
It had been just over a year or so since I had finished school but I retained a little information. I had enjoyed learning in school but RE had always bored me. The looks I would get during the subject always made me feel ostracised, most people in my class were religious. I like to think of myself as pretty open minded but the whole world being formed by a group of cosmic beings? No thanks, I was much more into science. I give a shrug before answering.
“A little. You know I was more into design and technology. Why?” I say, tilting my head as I did so.
“Because this book.” she stared at me intensely “was written by Saint Elowen. Do you remember who that is?” I shake my head. I was always more interested in electronics and woodwork than learning the names of saints to a religion I don’t believe in. she continued on “I’m not surprised, when the Queen came to power anything to do with magic was instantly banned and Saint Elowen was the patron Saint of magic. But that isn’t what I think is strange.”
Patron Saint of magic? I don’t remember any religions having a patron saint of magic, but I suppose that if the subject had been banned by the Queen, I’m not surprised. “What do you find strange? Apart from literally everything that’s happened with my magic so far” I question, crossing my arms over my chest. Her eyes had yet to leave mine and I was starting to feel a bit like I was under a high powered microscope. Every part of me seemingly under scrutiny. I glance away nervously before glancing back but her gaze never wandered.
“What’s strange” Ragneth stated, becoming more animated as she went on “is that Saint Elowen was only made a Saint because The Order of Elemental Divinity believed he was in communion with the Gods, because of what he had written here and because his magic was so strong and so powerful.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. Really? Seemed a bit of a jump if you asked me. People used to be able to do all sorts of magic, what made Elowen so special? Because he felt a little different than normal. Seemed a load of aly buctol. I let out a scoff as I lean back on the sofa, running a hand through my hair. “That would mean that you think I’m the new patron saint of magic with that logic. Some dusty old guy from a million years ago says he feel strange while performing magic and all of a sudden he’s the messenger of the Gods? Yeah right” I snort and I roll my eyes, I continue on, letting all my insecurities about my magic out in the form of religious denial as I sit back up in my seat, talking animatedly as I rushed my words. “Plus, what evidence do we even have that these Gods are real? Scientists have evidence that back up their theories about how the world was formed. What do the gods have going for them? Some arenaceous book from hundreds of years ago? The world is older than the creation of that book!” my voice was slowly reaching a level of hysterical as I questioned my own atheist faith, taking everything everyone had ever said about me being an omen sent from the Gods. Elowen had been a messenger of the Gods because of the very same reasons I had experienced. What if that was the same for me? “There must be some sort of viable scientific explanation for this happening! They probably didn’t even believe the Earth was round when this book first came out for fuck sake-”
“-Language!”
“Sorry!” I throw my hands up in defeat as I slump back down on the sofa and I rub my face with my hands as I suddenly grew weary. If I had known all those years ago that magic would be this tiring and bothersome, I might not have bothered dreaming of becoming a mage. Maybe stuck to my dream of becoming an astronaut.
Ragneth leant backwards in her seat, crossing one leg over the other. her fingertips were connected in a steeple and her eyes held a hint of disappointment “I taught you better than to dismiss the possibility of the improbable. You push away the idea of Gods and Saints because it doesn’t fit your logical view of the world, but who is to say that your way to view the world is the correct one? Science is based in faith. Gravity was not discovered without someone believing that it existed. If such can be said for scientific advances, why can the same not be said for the Gods?”
I thought about what she said, she had a point but the gods had no evidence of them existing other than the words of some book written hundreds of years ago. Science had provable, hard fact that could be tested and retested as many times as needed. Before I could reply, Ragneth continued on.
“Let us explore this logically. Pretending this was a separate situation or an experiment of sorts. What would you do? What’s your first step?” she asked me.
“Well… I’d probably try and gather as much information on the subject I was experimenting on if I was testing a hypothesis. Anything anyone has previously written about or discussed.” I state in a some what confused tone, unsure as to where she was taking this.
She leant forward in her seat “Now, lets say that you’re trying to prove that your magic is related to the Gods. You have one text, but anyone will tell you one is not enough to thoroughly test a theory. So now what?”
Was this some sort of test? A lesson? My tone was still confused as I replied “If I was trying find the source of my magic, I have a starting point with Saint Elowen but I’d need more information. So I guess I’d go to the church? They would be the most likely to have something related to my experiment, unless all their texts or whatever were taken by the Queen.”
Ragneth’s mouth curved into a small smile “So you admit that the church may contain more information than you previously thought?”
“No I didn’t say that, you gave me a hypothetical question so I gave you an answer.” I replied stubbornly.
“You know as well as I do that those questions were not hypothetical, marradole. Those questions were asked so you would expand your mind and look past the categorisation of faith and science.” She rebutted, she gave a look that told me I was reaching the limit of her patience with me. I roll my eyes at her but raise my hands in mock surrender.
“Alright, so it’s a start. But just because I said I’d go to this church doesn’t mean I believe a word of what they’re saying.” I fold my arms across my chest and sulk a little. I hate being proved wrong.
Ragneth’s small smile grew “That’s the spirit, exploration leads to understanding. How many scientists would not have found out their great achievements if they had not explored the places others were too scared to tread?”
“And how many scientists have died trying to prove a theory that doesn’t work?” I snap back “What if this is the theory that kills me? I’m too busy trying to find out why my magic is doing what it’s doing that I fail to see the effects it has on my life. I’ve been magic just over a week and I’m already on a ASF watch list. It’s pure luck that my face isn’t plastered in every shop window and newspaper in the city!” I could feel that hysteria building up inside me again and I fought to keep it down. I couldn’t do anything if I was constantly fighting my emotions to not betray me. I scowled inwardly at myself as I pushed the hysteria down far inside myself.
Ragneth shook her head. “The two things come hand in hand. They are one of the same. The more you know about your magic, the more you can control it. The more control you have the more you understand it and the smaller the chances of you having another incident.”
My mind went back to her note, at her promise she had made. She was supposed to help me control my magic. Her. Not send me on some wild goose chase with Gods and Saints. I started to feel frustrated at her. Was she just trying to remove as much responsibility as she could to make it easier on herself? Was she jealous that I was looking to be stronger than her?
“I thought you were supposed to be teaching me to control it, not some dead saint from hundreds of years ago. What’s the point in you even being involved if all you’re going to do is throw your responsibility away? If I wanted spiritual guidance I would have grovelled at the Mattlock’s residence!”
Ragneth’s eyes narrowed and her voice was sharp when she spoke next “Enough, Veylyn!” I shrunk inwardly at her tone but didn’t change my expression, a cold, hard stare. “You are deflecting. I am not diminishing my responsibility by asking you to see a different side to things. Magic is not a toy, especially magic as advanced as yours. Your refusal to see every avenue of potential will be your downfall if you do not grow up and stop wallowing in your self-pity and anger.”
She leant forward in her chair and I fought everything in me not to lean back away from her fiery gaze. Those pale green eyes seemed to stare into my soul. She was right, she was always right. I was wallowing, I had spent my whole childhood wanting to be a mage and now that I was, I was being a little bitch about it. So what I nearly got caught by the ASF? Nearly every mage has some sort of run in with them, I was no different than any other. I had been projecting on to her and trying to deflect from myself. I did it because I was scared.
“You know as well as anyone that magic is a living thing, the amount of books you’ve read and demanded I read you told you that ten times over. Living things demand respect. Respect your magic by opening up to new experiences and new ways of life.”
My cold stare shifted into a look of determination as I absorb everything she said. I clench my fists and nod. Willing to undertake whatever was demanded of me. Fuck being scared. I, Veylyn Garrett vow to never be afraid again, or may the Gods strike me where I stand.