My eyes widened as the voice declared that it was initiating a self-destruct, but only for a moment.

This wasn’t real, no matter how much it might look real in the moment, I reminded myself quickly.

I crossed my arms over my bare chest and shook my head in denial.

Yes, still naked by the way.

“I’m not buying it,” I stated.

Even though doubt was insidiously creeping up on me I wasn’t going to let a moment of irrational fear cloud my judgement. I was going to let the alleged spaceship initiate its self-destruct and call it out when it cancelled it. Because whoever wanted me here wanted me here for a reason. It wouldn’t make sense for me to just get blown up before they got whatever jollies they wanted out of all this.

The hum of electricity built up and I could feel a sudden build-up of static on my skin. I had to admit that the strange feeling was very discomforting, that part of me that was starting to believe all this might actually be real, regardless of the rational part of me repeatedly pointing out that it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real.

The static feeling only built up. I could feel the exposed hairs all over my body start to lift off and a shiver ran down my spine.

I licked my suddenly dry lips.

What if it was real? that traitorous part of me pointed out.

Then there was a beeping noise from the console in front of the piloting chair.

“Known friendly ship identified and approaching,” the audio stated. “Vessel designated Frozen Hand requesting docking permission. Permission granted in accordance with prior directives.”

The static feeling dropped away almost immediately and I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I had been holding.

Knowing it wasn’t real was one thing, but that didn’t stop my instinctive responses acting as if it were.

I looked back at the screen by the Captain’s chair. It now showed a sky blue dot approaching the centre of what looked like a three dimensional display, Starship Rex presumably being the centre of it.

But this was basically proof now, wasn’t it? I thought to myself grimly. My kidnappers hadn’t managed to trick me into accepting this was real by pretending to threaten to blow this place up. They’d decided to shift the narrative along to keep the illusion up.

I grit my teeth. It looked like it was time to confront some of my kidnappers.

There was a jolt that ran through the floor and my surroundings as the other spaceship supposedly docked with this one.

“Alright, let’s do this,” I muttered.

When I approached the doorway this time it opened on its own and I strode out, ready to meet my kidnappers face to face. Hopefully I’d be able to find the exit and maybe even escape past them.

So I hurried back through the corridors, heading past the doorways I’d already seen.

I still didn’t know where I was going but I just kept following the corridor. It wasn’t far, but I was sadly too late.

I arrived in what seemed like a hangar bay. It wasn’t that big, there was what looked like a ramp opening and maybe some space for a couple of vehicles or cargo. To one side of the hangar there was another doorway that opened automatically with the sound of displaced air to allow the person on the other side entry.

I was too far away to try attacking them, if they were armed then I was in all sorts of trouble. But then I already was in plenty of trouble wasn’t I?.

Her hair was a puffy mess, a startling white like fresh snow and her eyes were grey, or perhaps even silver. She was short, more than a few inches shorter than myself.

She wore dark brown boots that went up to just below her knees. Black leggings led up to a brown skirt of the same sort of soft leather as the boots and the new arrival had a leather jacket fastened around her upper half, leaving her midriff exposed if it weren’t for a black underlayer that I realised might have actually been a bodysuit or something. At her side there was an appropriately futuristic looking gun and she had a silver bracer on her right arm with a yellow gem embedded on the back of her hand.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

What stood out most, although I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, was that she was blue.

Yes, the standard approach to making your alien in most early sci-fi settings. When possible, minimise costs by simply painting someone a funny colour or glueing a bit of mussed up wire to their heads and call it an alien race. Bonus points for using both black and white makeup and calling it an allegory for race politics.

I gave her bonus points for the prosthetics. They’d given her wide pointed ears that stuck out from her hair like a fantasy elf.

“Nice getup,” I said to her. “You wear that much makeup all the time?”

The supposed alien girl froze when she saw me and her wide eyes went up and down my nude form.

“Impressive, I know,” I said flatly.

“Il’u eraneel hwe?!” She said, seeming to be equal parts shocked and embarrassed, at least based on the dusting of purple now colouring her blue cheeks. Oh look someone had invented an alien language for her to speak.

Still, the colouring of her cheeks was surprising, I thought. I’d have thought colouring like that wouldn’t be able to get through the makeup. It must’ve been difficult to make it work like that.

“You can drop the act,” I said, deciding bravely to step forward. It was then that I noticed she had what looked like a pistol on her hip and a bracer on her arm. The bracer had a glowing yellow gem located on the back of the hand part.

The stranger stepped back, but then frowned and looked up towards the ceiling.

“S-starship Rex?” She asked, sounding hopeful, the words sounding foreign in her accent that might’ve been somewhere between Welsh and French. “Go’u deffru?”

“Go’lolou leau datal,” replied Starship Rex’s supposed AI, to the girl’s apparent relief.

“Go’u Relhannon, Godau al Nellhana.”

“Relhannon, Godau al Nellhana datalo. Greco resh Starship Rex,” replied the AI.

The girl took a breath and then her gaze went back to me, albeit for a moment.

Apparently kidnapping is fine, but nudity’s right out, I thought cynically as she looked incredibly uncomfortable right now.

I had absolutely no sympathy.

“Il’u eraneel hwe?” the blue girl asked, gesturing towards me awkwardly, her cheeks aflame. The purple having transitioned to a more red colour now.

“Il’u kren’a minune,” replied the voice coming from our surroundings. The response only seemed to confuse the girl and I was left standing there like a muppet while there was a back and forth between the two of them.

I obviously didn’t understand a word of what they were supposed to be saying beyond that it mainly pertained to myself. The conversation only seemed to surprise the girl as she glanced my way briefly once or twice, unwilling to actually look at me as I was right now and then I finally lost patience. Seeing as nothing else was happening and not feeling quite so afraid right now, I decided to take the initiative.

“Right enough,” I said, stepping forward.

The girl was taken by surprise as I approached and she didn’t react in time to do more than take a surprised step back. She wasn’t fast enough to stop me reaching out and taking a firm hold of one of her big pointy ears.

“Don’t play coy,” I said bitingly. “Games over let’s call this wh-”

“Gyah!” the unknown girl shouted in very real pain as my fingers closed around the fake ear.

I caught myself, suddenly quite confused as the feel of what I had in my hand registered. I had been ready to yank off the arrival’s prosthetic ear. I hadn’t expected it to feel warm, or for that matter like real flesh.

Suddenly panicking, I let go and the girl recoiled away from me. There was pain clear in her expression.

“Il’sh fluteel!” The girl complained, her hand going up to cradle her very real ear!

“Oh shit,” said just a moment before the bracer on the girl’s hand lit up.

Yellow energy sprung from her palm, like glowing threads as thick as a finger and they wrapped around me, rapidly constricting and forcing my arms to my side and my legs together.

Then it got worse.

With a crackle, the glowing cords lit up and electricity ran through my body.

“Gah!” I shouted in pain for what could only be a second or two but it still left me reeling. Already off balance, I couldn’t stop myself from toppling over with my arms and legs bound as they were.

Once again I fell onto my side, colliding with the hard floor below me.

I managed to recollect myself to find the girl had stepped several steps away from me, she’d withdrawn the gun, no, the laser pistol at her hip and she was aiming it in my direction.

So that was where I found myself as my entire world view broke apart and I realised my current situation.

I was on a spaceship, which had only just cancelled its self-destruct.

Alone.

Probably with no way of getting home.

And with an angry alien babe who I’d just pissed off currently pointing a laser blaster in my direction.

I looked up at her, her lips pursing and glare only intensifying as our eyes met.

“In my defence, I was really sure this was all fake.”