Chapter 58

In my previous life, I had heard that there was a theory that Jar Jar Binks was a secret Sith Lord who had manipulated Palpatine behind the scenes. His uncanny way of surviving impossible odds and being in the right place at the right time was magical, just like a space wizard.

If this was true, then I had a lot of things in common with the supposedly Sith Lord. Both of us hid in the shadows and pretended to be something we weren't. The difference was that I knew what was going to happen in the future and took steps to take advantage. But if Jar Jar Binks was a Sith lord, he was skilled enough to come to manipulate the galaxy without knowing the future like me.

I took a little look at his surface emotions, nothing invasive, just a little taste of the emotions that naturally roll off every person. Hungry and itchy was what I found, I dove deeper to gently brush up against his mind to listen to his thoughts. I cringed a little due to the way Jar Jar thought. It was the same way he spoke, loud and full of confidence in that baby crass voice of his. Even Yoda didn't think the same way he spoke but Jar Jar was either a genius at hiding and manipulating his thoughts to a degree that a master such as myself couldn't tell or he was as thick and stupid as everyone thought him to be.

I dove into his mind as Jar Jar pestered Padmae for food to find memories and dreams that showed his whole boring, clumsy life. It was sad but I didn't stop searching, I had to make sure.

Most of Jar Jars' memories were fuzzy like the early baby memories of normal people. Jar Jar was so stupid that he couldn't remember parts of his life that happened last week. I tore some of his memories apart and modified them to see if there would be a response. Nothing, absolutely nothing, no reaction or force power feedback, no backlash of a Sith lord's memories being overwritten and changed.

It was clear just how weak his mind was, it was highly unlikely that he was a secret Sith lord as I had kept my eye on the line of Sith lords for some time with no expectation of a secret Jar Jar Binks being raised and taught. The final nail in the coffin was when I checked his blood for Midi-chlorian and found a slightly higher amount than normal which would explain his unusual luck and clumsiness but ultimately ruled him out as a force user. Jar Jar Binks was just an unlucky, lucky stupid fool.

Jar Jar was a harmless joke....well until he makes a passionate speech for Palpatine to take power but that was in the future.

The ship rumbled as it entered the atmosphere of Tatooine and sat down surprisingly smoothly. The Jedi had their discussion about getting spare parts to fix the ship, I could have repaired the ship by gutting and cannibalizing the none essential components but this was the time for the Jedi to find the most important individual in the Galaxy for the next twenty years, Anakin Skywalker.

Oddly, Padmae went with Qui Gon Jin, why would Padmea want to go to one of the worst places in the galaxy? It was vastly odd. I couldn't follow them as I had to look after the understudy of a queen but I wasn't going to stay. A quick and shifty doppelganger took my place and I also left the ship.

I hopped through the desert using the force to push and pull me at great speed with my Altered transmuted force wind at my back, each step was about a hundred meters and the sand under each step condensed into rock to give me that extra push-off. It took me no time at all to reach Mos Espa and with quick hand movements I stole cloth from some guy's back and wrapped myself up. My ability to disguise myself through illusions was top notch and it wouldn't matter if I wore my Naboo uniform but I still needed the stolen cloth as the goddamn sand got everywhere.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

There was a different purpose to being here instead of meeting with the future savior of the force and that was to visit the ruler of Tatooine. I walked through the hallways ignoring the dirty and violent-looking murderers who were hired to do the leader's bidding, one of them went to touch me but found his hand snapped at an odd angle before he even knew what was happening and then his neck twisted and snapped. No one saw what happened but the message was crystal clear, don't go near me.

I could feel a Hutt's mind and hear the insane languages they call speech. I moved closer to where Jabba was and met his Twi'lek attendance blocking the door. Before he could do that awkward thing where he would guess how powerful or violent the person was by judging the patience of the people he was talking to by half-bowing and half-grinning I told him to go for a break. He wondered off with a stupid look as the force took effect and whizzed his mind to do as I said.

I could feel Jabba was on the other side so I knocked on the door and entered. A sudden blast of plasma fire was quickly and neatly dodged leaving part of my stolen cloth vaporized. Jabba had the fattest weapon, it was one of the deadliest old weapons in the galaxy, it was used to hunt live game such as the Rancors and Dianoga.

I patted myself down giving Jabba the look of a slightly miffed but amused elder.

"That's no way to treat your uncle," I said to Jabba while wagging my finger at him.

Jabba's weapon slightly dipped as his brain caught up to what I said.

Of course, I wasn't a blood relative to the Hutts but I had worked with them for so long and made huge profits for all that they gave me a seat on the Hutt council and gave me the title of Uncle.

Jabba's weapon raised again with good reason as the title of Uncle and the face who was using it now didn't fit. The Hutt clan knew by now that I had unusually force powers but they didn't know all of my identities.

"Calm down young one," I said to the six-hundred-year-old space slug as I pulled a symbol of my membership out of my coat pocket.

Jabba's eyes swelled up and a hearty laugh poured out that shook the room. He dumped the weapon slithered over and embraced me. I lifted him off the ground just like the first time I met him when he was a child to the surprise of Jabba and his 3000-pound weight.

Every Hutt member worth a certain amount knew about me and how feared I should be but they also knew that they had more leeway than other species. They would say to each other "If you were caught putting your hand in uncle's things then just act all cute and say sorry like a naughty child." It wasn't the first time I had been shot at by a Hutt and I doubt it would be my last but overall, despite the sudden violence I had a very good relationship with the Hutts. So much so that the Hutts didn't fear me unless they had done something to me, then they shat themself with fear.

I walked beside Jabba and congratulated him on becoming a crime boss and getting a seat on the council. I gave him a knowing smile when he told me about the failed assassination attempt he tried against the Hynestian royal family but it only failed due to Jedi interference. I patted him on his arm, it was a nice try at assassination but when Jedis were involved most good plans can go up in smoke.

We both peered out of his balcony over the pod-racing course "I would like to say I'm here to congratulate you on becoming a major crime lord and joining the council lord but I need a favour"

Jabba's eyes widened again and his long snake-like tongue slipped past his lips. Earning a favour from me was better than any number of hyperspace routes. I was famous for making the impossible into a profitable business, if you had my favour then you could expect the world or the impossible.