Chapter 35

The dark side of the force is addictive and lingers like a bad smell. It acts like an adrenalin shot. Think about it like all of those small pleasures in your life that fill your mind with Dopamine but times ten. The lingering effect lasts so much longer. I am a good light year away from that planet but I can still feel the effects, a part of me wants to go back and dive into the dark side but that would be a poor choice that would lead to my destruction.

I had been infected, tainted by the dark side. I was worried. The force was meant to be the will of both the dark side and light but while the light side didn't feel right to me, it never put me in a situation like this where I could kill myself with a stupid action. The light side didn't have the same addiction as the dark side

I needed to purge the dark side effects but keep the essence. The dark side was part of the force and I wasn't going to give it up because I had one or two bad moments with it. I sound just like an addict but the power I have was useful and something that had saved my life.

The way of the force had many different religions and cults following it and making rules to their religion but I felt like they made it too personal. The Jedi cut the emotions away causing them to become dull, the Sith had too many problems with their view on the force, and the Nightsisters could go straight to hell.

I had to find a way to embrace what strengthens me and repel what weakens me. To be honest, I had thought I had achieved that already but spending time on a strong dark side Nexus point told me otherwise.

As I travelled, I played with my abilities. I had to make sure that my new skills weren't tied to the dark side and that I could use them without any negativity.

Lightning turned to fire that gently warped over my arm. I wondered why my own fire wasn't hurting me. When Palpatine used his force lightning it was redirected back onto his face and caused harm. Did he do it on purpose to gain sympathy from Anakin or did I know something that he didn't?

The fire turned into water. With a twist of the wrist, a whirlpool swam through the air. The dense but calm core of the water rippled less than the braking swirls on the outside.

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"The eye of the storm" I pondered. It was the core of the whirlpool but it wasn't the place that produced the most clashing energy. There was peace in the core, as well as power.

This mentality was familiar as it was like the yin and yang symbol in Taoism. A religion that didn't believe in god but rather the positive and negative, the soft and hard, the power in destruction and creation.

They believed that there was light in darkness but also destruction in light. It was how you understood the element. For example; fire burned and destroyed things but it also offered warmth and light. Light illuminated the dark so you could see but too much light could blind you putting you in the dark. The soft gentle snow on a branch was beautiful and gentle but too much would snap the tree.

I understood that while the dark side nexus point flooded me with dark side power and I found it hard to control myself, there were light side qualities within it that I didn't take advantage of, that I couldn't see but I still knew it deep down in my mind.

The water turned to air and gently caused a light breeze in my room. The softness of the breeze turned a fraction colder as the winds turned and sped up. Water droplets condensed and were taken by the wind. The droplets would split or meld into each other.

The gentle wind and the malleable soft water drops were considered yin and yet with both of these elements clashing and speeding up into a miniature tempest they now had qualities of yang.

The light side and the dark side not only can work together but must do so. The tempest was causing small damage as the water droplets fired out at great speed. The dark side that had wormed its way into me and caused such anger was now calming down, no, it was melding into my force.

The tempest stopped, and the water and air both melded into each other pouring out a thick mist that covered the room. The mist would be considered yin but with just a twist of its nature, it could drown a person and become yang.

"Darkness and light are part of the force" It was simple and yet I can feel the darkness in me dull and meld within me. I've always known it but now I'm one with it.

The mist rolled around me and turned into a ribbon of lightning. It hung off my arm as a decoration causing no harm. The ribbon morphed from one element to another with just a brief thought. I was no longer compelling, or coercing the force, it just did. It was an extension of me, part of me and yet completely detached from me.

My anger was still there but it melded with my calm becoming part of my emotions and was tempered and elevated but controlled.

My understanding of the force had inspired great changes throughout my abilities. My camouflage ability was one of blending in, distorting people's perception but now the force just made it that I was unseen. people would see but not realise.

It was odd, I understood the force but didn't realise. I was blind but now I can see.