After roasting and eating my dead pig friend I played with his friends I made four of them my servants the others I used my lightning on I have to say it was a pretty sight the only problem with it was the smell they smell terrible burnt; well everything does but these were even worse.

I got bored frying pig creatures so I left however it was hard to get through the minefield of shit they planted for unwelcomed guests damn pigs I will have my revenge some day.  This planet is huge with two suns, and three moons, the suns are orange and red while the moons are different shades of purple; I wonder what they look like when I blow them up? Well let’s save that for later I finally found humans wait no those aren’t humans one is a green skinned creature with giant black eyes and a butt for a mouth it’s partner was a fat green human pig that was shocking a blue alien girl but couldn’t see her very well.

Porkers surround them don’t alert them just play it cool and when the fighting starts attack got it. (me)

Squeal. (Porkers)

Alright now that that’s done let’s go say hi. I got up and walked over to the group as soon as they saw me they pulled out some red sword like light sabers they weren’t the light sabers from star wars they looked like actual swords they were shiny and I wanted them.

Hey guys here’s what’s going to happen I will spare you if you drop your weapons and start running. (me)

!@#$%^#$%^&*(*&&^%$#  (ass faced alien)

Sorry I don’t speak ass. (me)

He said that your picking a fight with the empires elite if you think a human can take on two siths without a weapon  you are crazier than the rebels. (smug pig)

Will that’s disappointing; PORKERS ATTACK! (ME)

The two aliens had no idea what was happening until the pig man well was a stuck pig the ass face was actually defending himself pretty well; wait this isn’t good he’s killing my porkers. I pull the tusks from my first kill and run at him he was so distracted with bob the fattest porker he didn’t even notice me. I plunged my tusk daggers into his throat he let go of his light saber and fell back.

Now then what to do now all my servants are gone now but least I got a notification.

gained 24x lv

1200 points added

 yay the voices still like me. I grabbed the light sabers and any other gear that was valuable and put it in my inventory including the corpses of my porkers they could still be eaten later or turned into bacon… yep bacon most definitely.

Hey can you help me out of this cage? (alien girl)

I turned and walked up to the alien girl turns out she was a beauty even with her blue skin and her tentacles on her head, her violet eyes shined in the fires light dressed in leather clothes that shoed almost every curve on her which showed her super model body with huge knockers.

Maybe I can but what do I get out of it? (me)

          A free ride on my ship and a chance to join the rebels. (Alien girl)

I will take the ride but I don’t know about the rebels we can take about it once we get there besides I’m just doing this out of boredom. (me)

Wait what do you mean you’re doing it because you’re bored? (alien girl)

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Well it’s exactly how it sounds anyway let’s just get to your ship and leave this place since it’s very depressing here. (me)

You don’t really need to go anywhere just let me out of this cage and find the key for this collar. (alien girl)

God I hate bossy women they always get me in really bad situations. (me)

I used one of my new toys to cut the lock off and once she was out of the cage I used my lightning to short circuit the collar thing the girl seemed surprised by this but I didn’t care I was getting bored just standing around.

The shuttle should be here soon but  before it gets here I want to know why you have a power of the dark side. (alien girl)

Oh I totally forgot lightning was used by the dark side in this universe well there’s no turning back now. (me)

What do you mean by this universe? (alien girl)

Nothing just thinking out loud but here is a little advise for you don’t start questioning the person that save your life might bite you in your little blue ass. (me)

I am risking everything just because you have power we rebels can use against the empire so please just answer the question. (alien girl)

Now that’s a little better and since you asked nicely I will tell you that I am neither Jedi or sith you could call me a merc if you want but I don’t want money or anything as boring as that. (me)

So what do you want? (alien girl)

Well I want to be entertained and maybe blow something up oh hell of course I want to blow something up it’s your choice to chose what I blow up. (me)

So you will join the rebels? (alien girl)

No. (me)

Then what are you joining? (alien girl)

Now there’s the right question; I’m joining you well for now anyway. (me)

   You know my kind and yours are at odds with each other. (alien girl)

Do I look like someone that cares? (me)

As I said this a ship flew over us and landed a few meters away the girl opened the hatch and we climbed in I was searching each room for anyone else but it was just me and the alien girl. As I came the bridge she was in a chair already pushing buttons at a fast rate I sat down next to her and saw the controls were the same as a jet’s just a little bit more room.

Let me guess this was from a human right. (me)

Yep a human pirate that tried to sell me into slavery but these buttons have no meaning once so ever I can fly it if it’s already started but can’t do anything else. (alien girl)

Allow me. (me)

I grabbed the controls and took us up which was relatively easy as I scanned the buttons I came across a red button which was just calling my name.

Hope you like surprises because I’m about to do something really stupid. (me)

WHAT! (alien girl)

As I pushed it we blew past the moons and could see stars and planets moving around us at a rapid speed like a blur in the sky. after a few moments of this we stopped to see a battle between four ships debris everywhere; I knew she was going to cause me trouble should have took the ship and left her.