– Muret –

The Kuja were an interesting people. They were, in essence, a tribe of warriors and hunters who valued personal strength above nearly everything else. This, when combined with their near total isolation from the rest of the world, resulted in their culture developing in a very differently direction from what Muret was accustomed to. There were the obvious things such as choice of attire, favorite foods and the establishment of a matriarchal society. Though the latter was less of a choice and more of a necessity, because due to some genetic quirk, the Kuja were incapable of giving birth to male offspring.

Then there were the less obvious things.

Naturally, with a complete lack of men in their population pool, the women had been forced to take up all tasks needed to maintain their society. Which, given that they were a hunter-gatherer society, included a bevy of physically demanding jobs. Perhaps it was inevitable that the traits the Kuja deemed desirable were heavily skewed towards those that helped them survive.

To them, strength was beauty and to be beautiful was to be strong. Mani had been horrified to find out that she was deemed to be one of the least attractive members of the Crew. Of course, horror had given way to pity when further conversation revealed the lack of even rudimentary knowledge of cosmetics present amongst the Kuja. If it hadn't been for the Captain having mandated that everyone be present for the current spectacle, Mani would likely still be introducing her curious pupils to the expansive world of beauty products.

Muret herself had been affected a lot less than her friend. In part, this was because she couldn't care less if other women found her attractive so long as her boyfriend did. Not to mention that Muret had more pressing matters to attend to. Because whilst she may not have met their beauty standards, Eddy decidedly did.

This was all her captain's fault. According to the rumor mill – otherwise known as Mani – Bellamy had carelessly boasted about his multiple crew members who could wipe the floor with Boa Hancock's senior officers. Not only that, but he was also said to have made this claim straight to the Warlord's face. Naturally, a brazen challenge like this could not go unanswered and an exhibition match had been organized within a matter of hours.

A match between two of Muret's friends and the younger Gorgon sisters.

Lily, being the adrenalin junkie that she was, had immediately volunteered to test out her mettle against some of the best the Kuja had to offer. Surprisingly enough, Sarquiss hadn't tried to enter himself to protect Lily, mentioning that he had complete faith in her ability to handle herself. Left unsaid was that his fiancée – he had proposed a couple of weeks ago – was also more suited to an arena battle than the first mate himself was.

The last slot had been a bit of a toss-up between Eddy and Nero, both of whom had a new trick they wanted to try out. However, as Nero had yet to stabilize his rokuogan and wasn't able to use it without breaking his arm, he'd been convinced to let Eddy take his place.

The match itself had started out simply enough. Both sides spent a couple of moments testing the waters, launching small probing attacks to see how their opponents would react. However, with a hothead like Lily involved, things escalated rather quickly.

"Let's get this party started!!"

Strength against strength, speed against speed. That would have been the most optimal pairing in Muret's opinion, especially if both Lily and Eddy were superior in their respective abilities when compared to their opponents. Fortunately for the Gorgon sisters, their quartermaster had other ideas. Why compete with her best quality when her weakest would do and make for a more interesting fight?

"You're a Paradise pirate!" Sandersonia exclaimed in alarm. "Why do you have observation haki?"

"Because I'm amazing, that's what."

Maybe Sandersonia was a smidge faster than Lily. Maybe she possessed a little more in terms of mastery over observation. But the advantage wasn't large enough to compensate for the overwhelming gap in their ability to use armament. Within moments Lily had driven Boa Sandersonia to the edge of the platform, using her own observation haki to force the Kuja warrior to either block or parry her blows. Soon, visible bruises began appearing wherever Lily's fists made contact, with the green haired woman wincing evermore visibly whenever said contact occurred.

"Whoa. I thought you were a slippery girl, but your name makes so much more sense now."

"It'sss payback time!"

"I don't fucking think so."

Perhaps having decided that there was no other path out of her predicament, Sandersonia called upon her devil fruit and successfully slithered her way out of the proverbial corner. Though this had been only possible, because Lily had been suitably distracted by the appearance of Sandersonia's new appendage. Not that it was her fault really. Seriously, how many people were accustomed to a giant tail lashing out at them from their blind spot? That Lily had avoided getting brained from behind was already praiseworthy in Muret's opinion.

"Gotcha!"

"Where are you touching me?!?"

"Sister! Out of my way, male!"

"Not happening, miss. My girlfriend is watching."

Unfortunately for Sandersonia, she wasn't able to push her momentary advantage properly before Lily adjusted to the new variable. As a result, rather than the Kuja ensnaring her opponent with her tail, she ended up with Lily grasping hold of it instead.

"Let go of me! Why can't I move?"

"What makes you think I'd tell you, dumbass?"

With her mobility neutralized by Lily's Rust Rust Fruit forcefully stiffening her spine, Boa Sandersonia was rendered helpless before she even knew what was happening. As such, when Lily let go of her tail and began casually strutting up towards her head, she could do nothing but watch in silent horror as the fight entered its final stages. Watching as Lily jumped into the air. Watching as Lily drew back her leg. And watching as Lily's boots made contact with her frozen chin.

"Laki's super deluxe special order boots: IMPACT!!!"

While this was all happening, Eddy had been keeping the youngest of the three sisters at bay. Which was easier said than done because as soon as Sandersonia was in trouble (which she was from the very beginning), Marigold had gone berserk. Naturally, this meant facing down the trio of the king cobra zoan's enhanced strength, venom and large mass barreling down towards him.

"Miss, spitting poison at people really isn't the politest thing to do."

"Raaah!"

And for all that Eddy had recovered from the injuries inflicted upon him by the pacifista, raw brawn was never going to be his strongest suit. What he did have, however, was superhuman control over his own body. Originally meant to be a way to make the best of the meagre reserves his lung had left, it had blossomed into something incredible. Even if it went against just about everything Muret had learned during her medical training.

"Ora! Ora! Ora!"

"Oh dear. That's a lot of property damage. What did the floor ever do to you?"

Beyond a certain point, there wasn't a way for a human being to influence how quickly their nervous system processed information and transmitted commands. Likewise, there was only so much metabolic waste that could be carried off by one's blood in a certain time interval, just like there was an upper limit to how quickly one's energy reserves could be mobilized. These were well-established medical facts.

"Stop dodging and fight me!"

Eddy's Seimei Kikan ran contrary to this principle. Via some means that Muret still didn't completely understand, her boyfriend had managed to transcend humanity. At least a little. Simply put, whenever he so desired it, Eddy's body worked faster than it had any right to on all levels. Electric signals travelled faster, muscle fibers took less time to recover, glucose was turned into ATP at a ludicrous rate. All of it working together in flawless concert to increase his speed to levels that easily matched Aisa's ridiculousness.

"Alright. As I'm trying to be a gentleman, far be it from me to refuse a lady her wishes."

And like Izou always liked to say: speed was power.

It was over in an instant. One moment, Eddy looked like he was preparing to draw his blade (his old one, not the shiny new toy they'd pilfered from Mad Treasure) and in the next he was sheathing it again. Understandably, the crowd was confused. Muret was too, until Marigold's head snapped back accompanied by the belated sound of the flat of a blade smashing into her forehead.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

"At least that's what Sabo's manual said anyway." Eddy murmured.

Eddy's opponent didn't reply on the grounds that she no longer was capable of doing so. With her consciousness having fled her body, Marigold's eyes rolled up into the back of her head, even as her large form toppled over with a heavy thud. Sandersonia joined her sister not long after, the two sisters forming a large X on the ground.

And as Muret watched the crowd go from stunned silence to ardent admiration and avid applause, she couldn't help but wonder how many sticks she was going to need to fend of Eddy's new fans.

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– Bellamy –

Sometimes there were things that one had to do, even when one knew that it wasn't the most intelligent thing in the world one could be doing. The reasons for such a choice were many, ranging from showmanship for the sake of appearances, to desperate last-ditch gambles to overturn a hopeless situation. Or as it was in my case, when facing a hill I had to climb for the sake of my dream.

So yes, what I was about to do was most definitely not the smartest thing to do. There were better places, better times and better circumstances in which I could…in which I should attempt what I was about to do. Then again, what choice did one have when Hancock demanded proof of my worthiness? A friend needed no qualifications but to become more than that required respect. As to the Kuja to be worthy of respect was to be strong, Hancock had not so subtly suggested that I also take part in an exhibition match. Thankfully, she'd let me pick my opponent and in that case, there really was only one choice I could make.

If I had so wished, this could have been a much more dramatic occasion, one in which I would call out my rival in a suitably grand and charismatic manner. Something along the lines of striding triumphantly into the ring and looking wordlessly in his direction, our gazes locked in a staring contest lasting way longer than would be comfortable. Once the moment had been savored for a sufficient amount of time, I would make a come-hither motion with my hand to which he would grin and jump into the arena to join me.

But…that would have been way too juvenile even for my tastes, so I ended up going for the more casual approach. Then again, we were talking about Luffy here, so this was probably the better choice.

"Hey Luffy." I called out after jumping into the ring. "Let's have some fun!"

"Yeah!"

He'd certainly seemed equally enthusiastic about the idea when I had pitched it to him after my audience with Hancock. Something about being curious as to what I could do and a good scrap always being fun. This was kind of unsurprising to be honest, because one of the ASL trio's favorite pastimes on Goa used to be training and sparring with each other. Perhaps, it was this joy and delight that had been the driving force behind Luffy's rapid growth. Or at least one of them.

"Luffy looks so handsome, doesn't he? Oh, it's too much…"

"Snake Princess?!? Hurry, someone fetch a doctor!"

In Oda's world, Luffy was meant to become the strongest character… eventually. After all, he was the main character whose main strength lay not in his ability to solve problems with his analytical mind, but in punching those very problems until they went away. Plus, his uncanny ability to turn enemies into allies and his instinctual grasp on what needed to be done whenever the going got tough... but you got my point.

Luffy was meant to be strong. Bellamy was meant to be a joke.

Like hell was I going to accept that! If Oda had decided to turn Luffy into this immeasurably tall mountain, it behooved me to climb it, no? Again, I could have done this at a later point, possibly when we met again at the end of our respective journeys. There was no objective need for me to commit to this at this very moment in time. But should that be my chosen path, there would always be this nagging feeling at the back of my mind about how I had avoided this challenge in the name of efficiency and rationality. That wasn't acceptable to me on so many different levels, so despite everything which spoke against it, I had issued the challenge before a host of witnesses.

"Aright! I'm going to win!"

"No Luffy, you're not."

"Yes, I am!"

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"In your dreams, mate."

Besides, if I couldn't beat him now when I had all the advantages of an earlier start to my haki training, the steeper learning curve that came with being an amateur at combat and the initial strides I'd made in my devil fruit mastery… if I couldn't beat him now when the gap between us was theoretically going to be at its narrowest… when was I going to do it then?

"All out, Luffy. Hold nothing back."

"Of course I won't. That would be boring."

"Hah! You got that right."

When it came down to a choice between defying fate with a chance of greater triumph or relegating myself to safely chasing after Luffy for eternity, I was making a conscious decision to pick the former. Not to mention that I really wanted to know where I stood in relation to Luffy. Had I caught up to him yet? Had I surpassed him? Or did I still have a long way to go?

"Ready, Luffy?"

"Ready!"

Of course, a single spar wasn't going to prove anything in a decisive manner. After all, if one looked at Luffy's fights in the canon timeline, he always managed to exceed his limits whenever his crew and his dream were on the line, whereas this was a match between friends for the sake of fun, training and a small amount of self-validation. Plus, it wasn't as if a loss today was going to cause either of us to give up and crawl into a corner in self-pity.

"Kick his ass, Luffy! Make your brothers proud!"

"My life's savings on the Captain! Anybody going to take that bet?"

"A bet? Count me in!"

"Me too!"

But…even if nothing would change about the path I was going to follow in pursuit of my dream, regardless of the outcome… or perhaps precisely because it would change nothing… investigating where I stood today wouldn't hurt, now would it?

"Gear Second!" "Coil Chassis."

This wouldn't hurt at all.

"Spring Deathknock!" "Jet Pistol!"

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Peace and Prosperity

Welcome to Marineford Daily News, your only source of accurate and unbiased truth.

Today we bring you the happy news that the World Government has announced a new program to bring peace and prosperity to the entire world. While the specifics aren't known yet and won't be for quite some time, rumors are circulating that the allocated budget is going to vastly dwarf the annual revenue of the ten richest nations of the world… combined. Surely a responsible and benevolent organisation such as the World Government will use such vast resources for the betterment of mankind.

While it is a pity that the World Government is not forthcoming with further details, it is a sad reality that there remain inhumane elements who would abuse such knowledge to sate their terrible greed. At least it remains in safe and responsible hands for now.

The catalyst is said to have been a comment from the ever merciful St. Charloss who was horrified at the macabre state of his servants. After all, if even those who most closely served the god suffered so, how much worse must the situation be for those bereft of their divine providence?

One theory put forward by an insider (who remains unnamed to the wider public for their protection) was that the world's greatest minds are working on a revolutionary new power source. One which has the potential to either destroy the world or save it. Of course, we at the Marineford Daily have no doubt that our kind overlords will make use of this research for the latter purpose. Perhaps with cheap energy available to all, economies around the world will flourish and less people driven to desperate acts of criminality. One can hope that with the denizens of the world happy and well-fed, the despicable pirates will no longer find fertile grounds to seduce our good citizens away from the just path.

We remain hopeful that the results will have a palpable effect in the coming years.

This was Marineford Daily reporting.

And as always, please follow us to never miss an update on the best news reports this side of the Red Line.