“How do I get there?” I ask, my head slowly turning away even as I try to keep my eyes on them, -- fucking why? Ultravision and I don’t want to turn my head away? -- wondering why we’re both acting suspicious as fack.
“Different script,” the monk says hesitantly, keeping his eyes on me while pointing back the way he came, -- literally pointing with the arm farthest from the door back at the door --. Nevermind, he’s looking through the doorway. -- then looking back at me hopefully. “I can take you there, if you’d like.”
“That would be great,” I try to smile, fail, and wonder if he has a mental condition. For all I know he cultivated some crazy skill that eats intelligence and he’s still coherent.
I follow him as he quickly shuffles down really narrow halls and through really short doors, -- is this place to teach humility or fat shame everyone, what the fack? -- only looking back at me to make sure I’m following, smiling before turning forward again, never slowing his shuffle. Okay, is he simple or did I trigger some alarms when he was about to get to third base. This is so awkward.
When he steps out of a short raised doorway, and into a wide open courtyard I see that it’s night time, this place is massive, and I’m even more confused. All this space and they’re crawling around through mouse holes? He does a few quick, shallow bows and I look around to figure out where the fookin’ circle is. He wants to know why I’m here, and I’m regretting coming, so how do we get me out.
“Come come come,” he waves me to follow, heading to another building, and I’m trying to figure out why we’re going back inside. We enter a large, airy hall, with wide open floors, and an occasional brazier, and he points to a small screened off corner. “The transfer circle is beyond those wards.”
This bish is leading me to a trap. I stare at him blankly. This is some evasive “I never lied”, technical bullshit. A long wander to a shielded corner with wards and a transfer circle? I guess if the first one didn’t work they assumed I’d fight my way here, why? I sigh, give a quick nod, then march over to the circle with the monk in tow. If nothing else we’ll end this farce soon.
I step on the circle, nothing happens. He starts going through very violent forms, quick jabs, swipes and stabs with lots of squeaking exhales, and then I’m dizzy and standing outside in a very shitty looking village.
There are burnt buildings, the air is thick with stink and not-fog, and I’m pretty sure I got dropped in the center of a war. What the fuck?
“The fack is going on?” I ask Fuck Face after snatching him from my void.
“How the fuck would I know?” he asks, looking like he lost an argument with a very hands-on wife, holding weeds in one hand and a trowel in the other.
Where the fuck did he find weeds? Not in my void. No wait, I’m pretty sure I’ve made a salad with those greens before. ... Why’s he getting rid of my greens?
I pick up on chanting and transfer him back to my void. The monks might be able to tell I have a ghost slave, but if they don’t, they don’t have to. I approach a monk quietly murmuring over three people lying down with straw mats masking them from eyebrows to ankles, except for the smaller one. And this isn’t a buff, is it? He’s giving last rites. Got it...
“Do you know where I can find Spring Cow?” I ask quietly as the monk chants, getting confused looks from some pale crying people nearby.
“Spring Cow died trying to purify the village...” one of the villagers says, the monk not stopping his chant. “The Ghost Flame Sect came and started killing people.
“They’ve desecrated the graves, burnt down our warehouses, and won’t rest until they’ve killed us all,” the poor woman says, a slow tear trickling down her cheek. She’s either really shell-shocked or acting her ass off, ‘cause why come to this place when there’s plenty of bodies, already prepared, in the Graveyards?
“Right...” I say, nodding along before pointing off to the side. “I’m gonna go over there now...”
I do exactly that, moving over to some scraggling looking tree, sitting down, and immediately eating some dumplings. I need to make sure I’m topped off before I start cultivating.
While I do my preparations I wonder that there’s supposedly a group of “demonic” cultivators who specialize in corpse manipulation, with an army of undead, and abilities to utilize the Resentment building up in the area to destroy souls and wreck karma, and the village looks like there was a light protest.
Where’s the army? Where’s the corpses? The air is practically smoky with Resentment, and people are... fine? Really? I got fuck-nadoed and it hurt like hell, but these commoners are just... very upset? They took out some monks, -- or got the monks to off themselves, -- and then... stopped?
Sounds like they’re targeting monks. And they got rid of Spring Cow. Now I’ll never know if I’m innocent!
“Pfft,” I sputter, making myself comfortable. I lay down, settle in, and start to nod off.
Silent Howl:
Ah ah!
Would you like to advance Vengeful Ghost Flame Sect Breathing Technique?
Yes or no?
You’re at twice the necessary requirements to advance it.
This bish. I open my eyes to stare off as I rest with my head pillowed on my folded arm.
Yes.
Silent Howl:
So first off, you’re welcome.
Second? I don’t know if you realize that you’re collecting Resentment.
Like you’re earning some from using the breathing technique, but then you get punished for the max amount of souls you’ve collected.
Even when you release them.
You “earn” 3 and gain hundreds.
You’re welcome? I shrug. I don’t know what he wants me to say. Collecting is what I do. Pretty sure I said that already. Hells, other people told me that before I could figure it out. I might not be able to fight, but who has a bank as impressive as mine? Who stores as much essence as I do? I collect. I bank. I make shit. When I get to the “make shit” part, it’s gonna be crazy.
Silent Howl:
You know what? You do you.
[Skill Upgraded]
[Vengeful Ghost Flame Sect Breathing Technique
>
Vengeful Ghost Flame Sect Breathing Technique II]
Jeebus, that’s a mouthful. If I had my phone that sum bish would probably scroll.
Silent Howl:
Meditate on Karmic Release?
That’s your Last Rites “technique”.
Yes or no?
Where was he when I had all that other shit to upgrade? Or was he still recovering from the big suck?
Yes.
Silent Howl:
Okay, you’re gonna have to meditate on the cycle of Karma until this completes.
The more interruptions you have, the longer it’ll take.
Try to get somewhere safe, possibly your void, before you start this.
I was gonna take a nap and cycle resentment. Guess the purifying part will have to come later. I yawn, snuggle into the ground in my already destroyed robes, and nod off.
[Skill Upgraded]
[Karmic Release II]
Tch! Tell me that skill didn’t stop me from cycling Resentment?
[Name: Kisandera, “Sandy”, Eclipsed Rainbow]
[Affiliation(s): Thousand Valleys, Seven Moons, Companion of the Sacred Phoenix Sovereign, Inner Void Productions, Wimble Sunrise, Scarlet Silk Society, Hunter’s Association, Vengeful Ghost Flame Sect]
[Race: Celestial Void Moth Queen[Shattered] (Saint)] 🦋
[Current Form: Hunan]
[Current Realm: Shimmering(Tier 5)]
[Current Karma: 97090122/107275977]
[Master: Shimmering Steel]
[Familiar: Fuck Face (Ghostly Servant)]
[Max Will: 9579451]
[Ghost Pot: +100/-0]
[Resentment: +506860/-152027]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,238/24,272,530]
[Current Qi: 1,905,520/957,945,100]
[HP: 9579451]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,697R,179Da,258De,2605k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10679St]
Pffft, that doesn’t tell me shit.
I go to my logs to find out the last time I collected Resentment, and it’s not now-ish. So, yes. Upgrading Last Rites paused my collection.
-Boo...- I drone, feeling a warmth sizzling along the edges of my brains. -Ew, gross! What?-
... I offended the spirits. They’re doing the brain melting roar of disapproval. I should be grateful that I can help lost spirits return to the natural cycle. Pretty sure you mean I should be happy that I’ve got a better way to collect things, but that’s what practice is for. I’d be mad if I didn’t. I wonder if the health cost is gone?
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Ooh! I know! I try to think as loudly as possible to drown out the screams in my head. I should try it to see if it worked! Hope any spirits that aren’t willing to move on don’t distract me and get sent the fuck onto their next steps!!!
And listen to that roar die down. That’s crazy.
Now. I believe I was trying to take a nap!
But I kinda wanna know how much my max soul collection thing was... I go into my Logs to see I’ve got a max of 218 souls, so I’m getting residual Resentment. As long as there are no consequences to being the big bank, I’m good. Why doesn’t the positive Resentment Regard thingy work the same? I only get a max of 100 positive soul help. Ooh! The spirits have been donating Karma and Regard to help me send off souls willing to move on.
But seriously, 100 good guys or 500 bad guys, and fack me if I catch 500 assholes? Like fack my soul forever? How do I spend this shiz?
[Vengeful Ghost Sect Breathing Technique]
[3 -Resentment Gained]
[-5 Karma]
[Last Rites Successful]
[-100 HP]
[Karma +100 Gained]
[100 +Resentment Gained]
[Ghost Pot (+100/0)]
[3 x218 -Resentment Gained]
[Karma +5 x0 Gained]
[20 x100 +Resentment Gained]
[Karma +50 x100 Gained]
[Resentment: +506960/-152248]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[HP: 9,579,375]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,238/24,272,554]
[Current Qi: 1,905,520/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 97,090,217/107,275,977]
So what changed? I still have to pay health. Wait. It’s showing my max baddie body count. Wait. Does Last Rites show me my negative Karma count for souls? I. Suppose... That’s helpful. Fucking assholes... No one warned me about any of this shit! I flop onto my back to stare up at the sky through the scraggly canopy.
-Worst. Tutorial. Ever.- I sigh before tensing. -Am I supposed to raise my rank to learn? Dude was going to kill me if I didn’t Get Gud. Did I not Get Gud yet?-
I need to kick some ass. So first hurdle was 10 spirits to start cultivating? I got skills by beating corpses. There’s an army of undead? And a group of corpse manipulators? Maybe this is a thing the disciples are doing in order to prove their ability. The village is unimportant. The Resentment is unimportant. They’re showing off their ability to maintain their armies.
And I need to gather Resentment and kick some ass.
-Okay, me. Prepare to get fuck-nadoed,- I sigh as I get up and head towards the loudest screams.
There’s a group of monks in a mini gazebo, possibly an appropriated small altar, a tiny roofed in enclosure with no walls, bunched together, and chanting. One dude’s tapping out a steady rhythm on a drum, a few are holding balls hanging on chains billowing smoke, and they’ve all got their heads bowed, one hand raised in blade form.
‘Cause cool guys don’t look at the armies of corpses standing before them with hidden generals staring them down while wishing awful things upon them. Holy shiz, no wonder there’s so much Resentment! I sit down with the people praying with the monks to start my own meditations.
All your Resentment are belong to me, bishes.
[Vengeful Ghost Sect Breathing Technique]
[3 -Resentment Gained]
[-5 Karma]
[Last Rites Successful]
[-100 HP]
[Karma +100 Gained]
[100 +Resentment Gained]
[Ghost Pot (+100/0)]
[3 x218 -Resentment Gained]
[Karma +5 x0 Gained]
[20 x100 +Resentment Gained]
[Karma +50 x100 Gained]
[Resentment: +507060/-152469]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[HP: 9,579,375]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,238/24,272,578]
[Current Qi: 1,905,520/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 97,090,312/107,275,977]
And your spirits! Suck it!
[Vengeful Ghost Sect Breathing Technique]
[3 -Resentment Gained]
[-5 Karma]
[Last Rites Successful]
[-100 HP]
[Karma +100 Gained]
[100 +Resentment Gained]
[Ghost Pot (+100/0)]
[3 x218 -Resentment Gained]
[Karma +5 x0 Gained]
[20 x100 +Resentment Gained]
[Karma +50 x100 Gained]
[Resentment: +510660/-160425]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[HP: 9,579,375]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,238/24,273,433][Current Qi: 1,905,520/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 97,093,732/107,275,977]
I want to check on my progress, -- don’t want to be down for days, -- and stretch while opening my Logs. Only to immediately close my logs to look at the motherfucker patting my hip in time to the monk drum.
I stare at the monk resting his hand on my head and patting my hip while quietly chanting, wondering why my head is resting on his legs and where the fuck everyone else went. The altar space is empty except for a monk keeping rhythm and singing softly while staring with dead eyes at the army of corpses.
“The fuck are you doing?” I ask the monk, looking from his face to his wayward hand, and he has the decency to look embarrassed.
“One of the elders noticed you were Purifying the area as long as you dreamt, so we tried to make you comfortable. We tried rubbing your back and arms but you’d swing if anyone was too close to your neck. Eventually your nightmare passed and we were able to comfort you while you cleaned the village,” he nods, scooting backwards before bowing with his hands resting on his legs. “We’ve been doing our best, but the toll for defying evil is always high. We thank you for your assistance.”
“Right,” I look towards the army to see that they’re no longer toeing the lights coming from the altar.
“You were able to release the spirits bound to corpse flesh. The demonic cultists moved back, but haven’t left yet,” the monk continues, the guy drumming still chanting and keeping time.
I open my mouth, -- even though I don’t need to to speak. Method actor, -- and there’s loud screams and crashing in the distance. I look towards the armies to see they’re still standing, but notice movement at the edge of my vision. They’d moved some of the corpses around to attack the village from a different angle. I thought they weren’t here to fight?
I leap to my feet and race after the monk not keeping cadence, the others scrabbling back to the altar and leaving the villagers to defend themselves.
Literally. The monks. Have left the fighting. To commoners with pitchforks.
How are all these people not dead?
Three. There are only three corpses attacking the town. And they’re making a show of it. Literally wading forward with the “this is my bubble” personal space arm swings, pivoting their hips to walk. They’re trying so hard not to fight that I swear the corpses are fighting laughter. And the villagers really think they’re doing something?
Seeing how the villagers are loudly screaming, and idly getting swept aside, but not absolutely destroyed, how am I supposed to take this serious?
I sit down, lie down, make myself comfy, --.
[Vengeful Ghost Sect Breathing Technique]
[3 -Resentment Gained]
[-5 Karma]
[Last Rites Successful]
[-100 HP]
[Karma +100 Gained]
[100 +Resentment Gained]
[Ghost Pot (+100/0)]
[3 x218 -Resentment Gained]
[Karma +5 x0 Gained]
[20 x100 +Resentment Gained]
[Karma +50 x100 Gained]
[Resentment: +510960/-161088]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[HP: 9,579,375]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,238/24,273,504]
[Current Qi: 1,905,520/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 97,094,017/107,275,977]
-- and I’m shaken awake by the monk who ran towards the “fighting”.
“The corpses have fallen. The village thanks you,” he says earnestly, hand still on my shoulder. He gives my shoulder a squeeze then offers his other hand to help me up.
How secluded are they? Girl-shoulder? Mmm. And he got to touch my silk. ♪ Ooh~! ♪ He’s gonna have to decontaminate. Scales go shimmer shimmer.
The monk guides me back to the town center where the villagers are attempting to figure out how to defend the village long enough for the monks to purify the undead.
Seriously? They think they’re gonna do what? Hold off the army being drip-fed to them when they’re losing people to zombies on a playdate?
I know I’ve got mad stink face right now, but when I look around at the crowd there’s someone, pale skin and hair, a white sheath dress, her swept up bun tied with a series of pearl ribbons, mirroring my expression at me. I narrow my eyes at her, going to my Logs to learn that someone, probably other stink face, thinks all of us peasants are filthy and gross, and maybe the zombies are just other villagers with brain fever. How is no one commenting on how this bish isn’t trying to fight or pray? Her dress is spotless.
“We need a way to alert everyone to an attack and a way to tell them which direction to go. Preferably before the corpse armies destroy more of the town,” one man bearing a large spear says.
Pretty sure everyone here is supposed to be a commoner, at least they fight like commoners. ... Is this a re-enactment?
-Oh~!- That makes so much more sense. I realize I’m nodding to myself, but the others are nodding, too, so I don’t look too suspicious.
“Perhaps we can negotiate? Give them a token sacrifice, and hope they leave us alone?” Ms. Dinner Party says, turning to slowly look at me.
Shivering Moon’s Reflection. I narrow my eyes as I close my Logs.
“Are you volunteering?” I ask, making a point to throw her on the fire first. She’s willing to suggest it, but is she willing to stand by her ideals?
“Oh, I couldn’t,” she smiles reaching out to pat the air in my direction. “I’ve far too much to do elsewhere.”
“Are you saying that you want to sacrifice the villagers to buy yourself time to escape? To go deal with your personal business?” I ask and this bish beams brightly at me while the clearly not villagers are frowning as they look between the two of us.
Yeah, these bishes are LARPing. No way they’d be this cool with some outsider saying they should lay down and die so she can go on her way. Did the villagers do something? Is this their fault? This is a reenactment, right?