“Wake up.”
Tch. He really thinks that’s all it takes to wake me up?
“Yeah.”
It takes me a second to realize I’m awake already. And hungry.
“Fuck you.”
“You’re welcome,” Fuck Face responds, walking off.
“Hey!” I shout after him, finding myself sitting criss-cross with my hands resting on my legs. I scrabble to my feet, wondering what the fuck as he looks over his shoulder at me as I hobble down the front steps after him. “Did you find the monk?”
“Read your Logs,” he sighs, continuing to walk away.
After breakfast. I dust myself off, and go back up the steps to the porch, taking a seat and willing a small table. Sweet bean paste in another not-chimichanga. ♪ Breakfast style! ♪
-Roll Logs,- I mutter, looking for the Karmic Release knowledge first.
Last Rites? I thought it was called --.
“ ♪ Doesn’t matter, ♪ ” I sing around a mouthful of food, scrolling down to read more. “Last Rites. Blah blah blah... Oh!”
He held on until he left the graveyard. He died in my void, and~ was the first to get released when I did more steady breathing.
“Cool...?” I’m not sure how I feel about this. -Says he died when he knew he was out of the graveyard, and got released, but that implies I got his soul in the first place. And he didn’t want to stay and give cool esoteric knowledge?-
I scroll down to read Fuck Face’s response in my Logs and he’s literally marching back to attempt to beat the shit outta me. With his no body having ass.
-Would not recommend,- I warn him. -You know more than I do, but what happens to your soul when you try to harm me without a flesh suit to protect you?-
Logs show he’s turned around and is stomping away from me now. And how in the hells is he fine? I thought his body was rotting? I --. Stop and go through my logs looking for Fuck Face... Whenever his body gets too bad he just... I’m gonna call it resetting himself. He destroys the body, takes a hit, then comes back with more flesh.
-Corpse preserving!- I bow my head as I pull out the manual of funeral rites, trying to find out how to do the prepare for burial thing. -Oy! Do I have any of this stuff?-
I turn inward, giving me a nod before I do a doubletake. I look like a beggar, what happened? Nevermind. I look closer and I can see that I’m still wearing jewellery, it’s just very understated, small, flat pieces instead of that ugly, chunky try-hard BS I was wearing before. I continue out the door and down the steps, Aunty beside me, waving me to silence then waving me to continue walking as we both hustle towards the Library.
-Oh! Fuck Face was supposed to wake me up after I finished with the rites, did you lot want to stay or do those rites only work on unsettled spirits?- I ask as we pass the inn. I’d jabbed my thumb back in an attempt to suggest we grab the stuff we need and read it at the inn, so I’m not sure why my brain is doing trickshots without giving me a heads up.
“We let the ones who wanted to leave go. We’re trying to make sure we’re prepared properly before we move on.”
Either she’s sick or she’s hiding something. What do they need good Karma for? Should I be worried? I narrow my eyes as I realize that them getting good Karma after they’re dead might be costing me something, I just don’t know it yet. She relaxes and laughs, swatting my arm with her kerchief. O~kay...?
“We’re happy to have the chance to gain positive Karma,” she beams at me. “Oh! And we have the corpse preparation information from when you read through the book? And the old Monk did give you several valuable insights. You unlocked them while sleeping. When you were ‘meditating’,” she makes air quotes, laughs, then shimmies into the Library. “You were supposed to gain good Karma and more insights for the number of spirits you released.
“You were rewarded for releasing 10 spirits, then again at 20, then 50, then 100. You unlocked the ability to give Last Rites to outside spirits, spirits you haven’t consumed yet,” she explains. She gestures for me to sit down, an aide, librarian, or just helpful person coming by and setting down several manuals before leaving again. “Before you needed a piece of their body and spirit and they had to be unwilling. Now you can just give Last Rites to any dead. If you give them to the living then they have a higher chance of passing on without regrets when they die. Now then...
“These Training Manuals are for putting to rest restful spirits. For settling Resentments,” she says moving two manuals to the side. “This one is for meditation,” she says setting one manual to the side in it’s own pile. “And this is for corpse preparation, --” another book to its own pile. “-- Spiritual healing, --” another book pile. “—and Medicinal healing,” she finishes, pushing the final book forward.
“I know you want to help that fuck face, --” she reaches out, grabbing my hand with hers as I reach for the corpse preparation manual. “--but there’s no reason for him to need a prepared body, although I would recommend revoking the permissions so that he can’t just get a new one whenever he wants. That will save you on time. Let him earn a new body. Hmm?”
She gives my hand an encouraging squeeze, I gather all of the manuals to form them in a pile, remembering that, supposedly, I already know all of this stuff, and then set the pile in the middle of the table. I stand up. Bow, and wake up to myself in my inner void.
-Dude, Aunty does not like you. The fack did you do?- I tell Fuck Face as I transfer to him to find him chopping wood with an axe he got from who knows where.
I do, but it’s not important. I wave the thought away, shaking my head. I put my hands on my hips and try to focus on him.
“I’m an uppity non-cultivator servant? And I’m not treating everyone like lords and ladies,” he stage whispers, eyes wide.
“Tch! Mocking me when I’m trying to help!” I flick my fingers at him, annoyed that this nonsense is somehow a problem in my void and inner self. “I found the corpse preparation manual, I should have the knowledge, but I haven’t gained a skill.”
“Then I guess we try it and see if that helps unlock it,” he shrugs.
“What’s it costing me to get you a new body because you don’t like yours?” I ask, knowing that I won’t like the answer. “And don’t tell me not to worry about it!”
“It costs me the essence that I siphoned from you. So I cleaned up and paid for shit from you with the money I got from you, if that makes you feel better,” he rolls his eyes, and I feel the pain. Working somewhere and not having the energy to do anything but shop for essentials on the way out.
“Okay, you have to help me prep a body for you,” I mumble. “Can’t I make a preserved corpse?”
“You aren’t familiar enough with preserved corpses,” he rolls his eyes.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“We could fix that,” I point out, scuffing my feet along the ground and looking at him with my lips pursed. “Got a lot of corpses. You could preserve them and Store them to help me out... Stay out of harm’s way?”
“Whatever,” Fuck Face sighs before weakly gesturing to the ground.
I lay out 20 corpses out of the few hundred, -- why the fuck do I have hundreds? I didn’t kill this many people! -- glare at the mix of men, women and children, flip off Fuck Face as he stares at me with a pointed frown, then move back to the graveyard.
And into a clear space surrounded by fog. My scales start sizzling so I high-step out of the clear area and into the fog, the cloud of Resentment, and look around to see, and hear, that there are plenty of corpses wandering around nearby. So... Dude is gone, the corpses are back? Or was there a corpse refresh?
These aren’t my corpses, right? Am I supposed to be doing something or going somewhere specific? Is there a map or am I just supposed to wander --.
The corpse manipulator wasn’t part of the Ghost Flame group. Can I learn Corpse Manipulation?
I transfer back to my void and see Fuck Face sitting next to a corpse, head bowed, hands pressed together in prayer. I bank the rest of the corpses, which feels slightly more respectful. I got rid of all the negative Resentment, unwilling spirits, so I guess I’m not being super disrespectful, ‘cause they’ve already moved on, but I’m trying.
What did I come in here for?
-Oh!- I remember! I needed a map or something. -Is there a map or a way to figure out where I’m supposed to go?-
“Just... Wander around and find the rest of the manuals. There’s one for the Ghost Flame techniques somewhere. Yes, techniques. Plural. There’s all kinds of styles, ranged and melee and some with specific weapon requirements.”
-... So I’m supposed to fack off and wander around looting...?- I ask, my head slowly turning away as I squint.
This feels like a trap. I narrow my eyes at Fuck Face and head back outside.
-Alright,- I shove my sleeves up and let them fall back down. -Who wants to get rekt?-
I mosey my way to a zombie, this one’s movements a lot more reserved and conscientious. I hop up on one foot, fist cocked back, and, when I swing, I hear my knuckles pop. By the time I register that the zombie I was gonna box straight up countered by doing a cross the body shot to punch my punch I’m spinning to the ground. The ew in my hand flares up as I’m processing that I got punched in the face by his other hand, and I’m writhing from catching up to the boxing match as he’s curb stomping the shit outta me.
“How the fuck?” I shout, transferring to my void.
[Name: Kisandera, “Sandy”, Eclipsed Rainbow]
[Affiliation(s): Thousand Valleys, Seven Moons, Companion of the Sacred Phoenix Sovereign, Inner Void Productions, Wimble Sunrise, Scarlet Silk Society, Hunter’s Association, Vengeful Ghost Flame Sect]
[Race: Celestial Void Moth Queen[Shattered] (Saint)] 🦋
[Current Form: Hunan]
[Current Realm: Shimmering(Tier 5)]
[Current Karma: 96,983,077/107,275,977]
[Master: Shimmering Steel]
[Familiar: Fuck Face (Ghostly Servant)]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[HP: 9,579,390]
[Ghost Pot: +100/-0]
[Resentment: +469,960/-143,893]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,237/2,4245,769]
[Current Qi: 1,905,520/95,7945,100]
[Mortal Wallet: 12E,692K,180P,697R,179Da,258De,2605k]
[Spirit Wallet: 0Dr,0Ph,0Th,1325Di,126Co,10680St]
“What?!”
It’s not hurting hurting, but it’s clearly doing damage! How?! And why? And how’s it so fast? The places where the zombie hit me tingle. ... I quickly pull up my logs and find out that each hit from that fucker took 10 -Resentment. The fucker was feeding on my Resentment!
-Hells no!- I leap to my feet, ball my fist, prepare to take a deep breath, and transfer back into the graveyard. I hop back as the zombie refocuses on me, take a deep centering breath while keeping my focus on it --.
[Last Rites Successful]
[Karma +100 Gained]
[-100 HP]
[Spirit Guardian]
[Karma 1000 Gained]
[100 +Resentment Gained]
[Ghost Pot (+100/-0)]
[3 x0 -Resentment Gained]
[Karma +5 x0 Gained]
[20 x100 +Resentment Gained]
[Karma +50 x100 Gained]
[Resentment: +470060/-143803]
[Max Will: 9,579,451]
[HP: 9,579,375]
[Current Condensed Qi: 1,831,237/24,245,794]
[Current Qi: 1,905,520/957,945,100]
[Current Karma: 96,983,177/107,275,977]
The corpse dissolves into dust with a sigh.
-Suck it!- I do a pelvic thrust while slapping the blade of my hands against my thighs, hands snapped up to either side of my head. -Get rekt, asshole! Think I have to touch you to fuck you up? Think again! Who’s next?!-
Doesn’t even have the destiny to leave the meat behind. Tch. I pick up a book left behind in the dust, another breathing manual, then bank it and the grave dust. Looks like instant coffee...
I can’t fight. I don’t know why I keep trying. I make silk. I gather things. I need to stop trying to do something new. Fighting I don’t know. Getting stuff to bank? I’ve got Karmic Capacity. Step up and make a deposit.
By the time I get a few more... Clients? Customers? Burials? Fucking breathing manuals? Why do they all have breathing manuals?
-No, seriously,- I transfer into my void to see Fuck Face doing yoga. -Okay, what the fuck?-
“Stop buzzing at me and talk,” he says, struggling to hold his pose.
I finally notice a breathing manual in his hands and then realize he’s trying to cultivate.
“Um... The stretches are to prepare your body for the breathing exercises,” I point out. “You can just do the breathing exercises. You don’t need the stretches.”
“Not a bank bug. Need to prepare my lungs,” he snaps, stumbling and dropping his pose.
“I killed some guardians and they all collapsed into breathing manuals why?” I ask, waving him off. He can practice when I’m gone, and what happened to the corpse? “Did you need another body?”
“I’m centering myself, and there’s no way in all hells you can fight a ghost guard,” Fuck Face snaps, looking back at the manual and trying to pick up where he left off. “And those are expanded manuals. They prepare you for the Ghost Flame Technique.”
“All of the manuals are to prepare you for the Ghost Flame Technique,” I roll my eyes. This is incredibly unproductive.
“No...” Fuck Face says emphatically, stopping to stare at me. “The other Breathing Techniques were to prepare you for the Ghost Pot and storing spirits. Exclusively. The expanded manuals you found should be preparing you to utilise or expel the Negative Regard.”
I stand there like a numpty trying to wrap my head around the fact that I could pass the challenge, maybe, and I threw them in my bank. With all the other manuals. And I’d have to go through them and understand them to know which ones are which manual. And I have nearly a dozen.
-No...- I breathe hiss as I exhale, my spirit and body deflating in frustration and disappointment.
“Lazy bug,” Fuck Face grumbles, stretching back out into their weird fend off the giant pose, one leg stretched forward, knee bent, one leg stretched straight behind, back straight and leaning backwards, arms raised, one stretched back and the other raised before him at an angle.
“I’m gonna take a nap,” I grumble.
I’m gonna eat first, but I totally earned a nap. I didn’t much care that I lost health doing the rites, I’ve got a ton and I heal quickly, but I kinda forgot that that pool is fed by something I don’t have access to measure. I have a food bar, but it’s based on hunan physiology and fucking useless, so... Me am tired? Probably me am hungry. Me am go eat and go night night.
Steamed buns stuffed with minced herbs, peppers and garlic, my grilled fish that I have tons of, a nice sweet and spicy soup, and crispy fried dough and fruit for dessert. I wash everything down with a citrus tea, possibly some kind of shiver thorn wine. Scrub up in the Soak, then it’s off to bed.
I sigh, flopping my arms down on the bed as I lie on my back, under my sheets, in my house. Vibing.
Silent Howl:
You keep forgetting to eat your seaweed dragons.
Do it! I want to take notes.
Going to bed. I sigh, roll onto my side, and drop off pretty quickly.