Whelp, it happened. I have officially checked out. Lost my marbles. Or, as one of my former coworkers would say, gone coo coo without the Coco Puffs. I was sitting down on the edge of a fountain watching the city around me move. I was currently ignoring how the fountain behind me was spraying water that was defying gravity. Trying not to focus on the animal like humanoids walking around in a crowd of humans like they were somehow normal. My highest priority at the moment was to just breathe and stay calm.

I was failing.

“I mean yeah. Sure. I was never a bastion of mental fortitude or anything and yeah, I probably tick every box for high functioning depression they got but this?” I threw up my hands gesturing at everything. “This is just ridiculous. Mental breakdowns should just be me deluding myself into believing I’m living a better life and endless amounts of crying. Not high fantasy on steroids!” The city wasn’t just big by normal standards it was big by every standard. Rather than the quaint two to three story buildings you’d expect from traditional fantasy the entire skyline was nothing but massive almost New York City level high rises. But instead of the industrial sameness of glass and concrete I was used to there were spiraling Gothic towers that were covered in smooth stone reliefs of outstretched wings and stylized branches that connected one spire to another. On the ground some buildings were built with small parks at their base held up by massive columns that served as supports. The outside of the columns ringed with wide stairways that circled up to higher floors.

And all that wasn’t even taking into account the floating magic sky river.

A hundred feet above the ground to the shock of absolutely no one except me apparently. A massive river, tons upon tons of water, flowed above the ground and in between towers as if it weighed nothing. Branching into connecting rivers that snaked through the air. I could see small and large shadows that moved on top of the rivers that I had to admit to myself were actually boats with people on them. As I watched one large boat floated over to the side of a building where workers immediately started moving cargo off it and into the building. There was a slight glow to the rivers, especially the largest one and if I looked at it just right there seemed to be some kind of shifting pattern of symbols all along the bottom of the river. I rubbed my eyes as the light of the river’s refracted sunlight started to ache.

“Oh man this is crazy.” I said shakily. Holding my hands to my head. As if I could push the insanity out and the normal back inside where it belonged.

“I’m. Going. Completely. Fucking. Crazy!” I whisper shouted to myself as I held my head. I couldn’t help but notice how the flow of people around me took one look at me and immediately moved away from me. One of the people even gave me a disgusted who-let-the-crazy-guy-loose glare.

That one gesture. One I’d expect to see on any Karen walking a major street back home. Was so absurdly normal it was hilarious.

I barked a harsh laugh that I immediately stopped by slapping a hand over my mouth. I could feel my breaths coming in shorter and faster. An all consuming panic bubbling up in my chest. I moved my hands to my knees in a vain attempt at looking normal despite being on the verge of a full blown panic attack. I had to get out of here, find a way home. So I could get back to…to…The thought kept me there, kept me from exploding from my seat. As I poured over a single word.

What?

What did I want to go back to? Home? Home was a studio apartment with god awful Wi-Fi. Family? I snorted. Relaxing ever so slightly. That wasn’t even a question. Friends? For the first time in what felt like days I smiled. Even if it was bittersweet. You can’t really call the silence between coworkers friendship, can you?

My thoughts continued to travel down that road as the panic that had been almost on the verge of overwhelming me slowly drained away. I didn’t have anything to go back to. That wasn’t just the depressing musings of a modern day twenty five year old either. There wasn’t anything I actually honestly wanted to go back to. That realization left me feeling raw. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. It wasn’t much more than a few minutes. But it was an oasis of calm in the storm of chaos that my life had become. That moment centered me. And helped me decide what to do.

“You know what.” I said smiling wide. “Fuck it.”

I stood up. Pizza stained work uniform and all and nodded at my surroundings. “So what if I’m crazy? So what if I’m drooling on the floor of my apartment?” I said grinning wide. “I’m gonna make the most of my lucidity!”

I picked a direction and started walking. Appreciating the high fantasy world my brain was hallucinating so vividly for the first time. Floating sky river? Awesome. Gothic fantasy skyscrapers? So cool. The nonhuman people dotting the crowds? That actually made me pause for a second. I don’t think I saw any elves. Weird.

I gave my head a knock. “No classical fantasy races eh brain? It’s a stretch but I’ll allow it.” I said shrugging. What kinda fantasy world, even if it was a hallucination, didn’t have elves or dwarves? The notion clashed with the lifetime of fantasy entertainment I’d consumed.

As my attention drifted more towards the people around me. There were definitely some cool things on them I hadn’t picked up on. The clothing varied wildly from person to person, I didn’t think my imagination was good enough for that. One lady walked with what looked like a blouse that only had one sleeve. Leaving one arm uncovered to show off her tattoos. Another guy was shirtless except for a plain sash worn across his chest to show off his tattoos. I looked and frowned. Now that I was focusing on people individually it seemed like almost everybody had tats. There were small marks on the face for some, full sleeves for others, and others that were just geometric nonsense.

“Some kinda subconscious representation of my desire to get a tattoo?” I mused standing to the side of the street now. “I mean yeah, some tats look amazing and I wanted one a few years back. But is that really enough to warrant getting put on every person in my mental breakdown’s fantasy?”

Now that I wasn’t moving I stared around at everyone around me. Specifically whatever tattoos I could see on them. Some gave me some affronted glares and others shied away from me as I mentally graded everyone around me.

Let’s see, that’s definitely a two. What the hell is that even supposed to be? Geometry homework? Five. Eh…maybe a four. Three. Five. Two again. Ew, did that guy tattoo his eyeball! One. Negative one! Get your bad taste outta here Negative one. Don’t let me catch you around here again.

“Sir. What are you doing here?” A gruff voice demanded.

I turned and noticed two men looking at me as if I were a bum or something. They were dressed in plain but kinda worn looking armor with a buckler strapped to their left arms. And they had actual swords at their hips! I cheered internally at sighting the things. Swords were just cool. The man who spoke was scowling at me while his partner was only slightly frowning. They both had the same tattoos on their face. Two Celtic swirls of turquoise around their eyes and a patterned line that started at their bottom lips and drew down to a circle on their throats. The lines seemed to glow with a light of their own, almost shimmering in the shade of the buildings around me. I had no idea what the hell it was even supposed to be but glowing tats were sick as hell.

Seven. I hummed in appreciation.

The two guards, and I was pretty sure they were guards, seemed wary of me but I didn’t mind at all. The two of them were definitely mental representations of the cops who almost arrested me at Antonio’s. A grumpy cop and a good cop.

“Me? Just waiting until the paramedics get to my body and dope me up with the good stuff.” I said cheerily. “How about you guys? You enjoy the Hawaiian?”

The grumpy guard’s scowl grew even deeper. “You trying to be smart with me?” he said dangerously. Taking a step towards me. “I’ll put you down before you can even wave to your Syndicate pals. You understand me?”

I put my hands up, the universal sign of peace and American short hand for “please don’t shoot me.”

“Easy man. I’m just admiring the view is all.” I said nodding towards the city. “It’s my first time in a big city like this alright? Just wanna see the sights a bit.” I said warily. Could I get beaten up by my own mind’s projections? Probably not. But I had resolved to follow Matrix rules while I was here. If it could hurt Neo it could definitely hurt me.

“Tone it down Bennett.” The other guard said finally speaking up. Putting a hand on Bennett’s arm before he tried something. He seemed a good bit older than Bennet. The gray in his hair marking him as the leader of the pair. Kinda like a Detective. “Does he really seem the type to case crowds for Syndicate pickpockets? Did you even analyze him?”

“Course I didn’t analyze him!” Bennett snapped. “You know I ain’t got the same number of charges you do.”

The Detective took on the air of an instructor as he replied to his underling. “Hanging onto charges isn’t a bad habit to have. But hanging onto them so tightly you’ll never use them will only harm you down the line.” He turned to me with a bit of chagrin in his smile. “Apologies sir, but you do stand out quite a bit with the ah…” he gestured towards my chest. “Foreign glyph work on your chest there.”

I looked down at my shirt. The small text for Antonio’s shop was in a corner of my chest. Completely overshadowed by the graphic of a pepperoni pizza in the middle of my shirt. A ring of text around it declaring it “The Circle of Life”.

“Yeah, I’d have changed but I didn’t bring anything else with me.” I shrugged before holding up a finger an idea springing to mind. “Wait gimme a minute.” I said excitedly. Before I held a finger to my temple, closed my eyes and focused. Holding the picture of the outfit I wanted to wear in my head. If all of this was a mental projection, then… Jet black plate mail and a really big sword. Jet black plate mail and a really big sword.

“Sir…Are you, well?”

I blinked and looked down at myself. Disappointed I wasn’t dressed up like the dread knight I’d envisioned. “As well as I can be considering the circumstances.” I sighed. If my brain was gonna trip balls dreaming up everything around me couldn’t it at least make me look cool too? Was that too much to ask?

“You seem a bit unsettled.” The Detective said.

“More like a screw loose.” Bennett snickered.

With a chastising look at Bennett the Detective gave me another considering look before his right eye lit up with an inner light. I stopped and openly stared. Geometric circles spun at the edge of his iris as more shapes danced at the edges. I almost felt bad about being so hard on Negative one. That eye tat was actually cool as hell.

“No status conditions that I can see-”

With a start the Detective tensed and looked at me with shock plain on his face. “Broken Gods man! You’re still unawakened!” Bennett’s mouth actually fell open at the words. His gaze on me immediately shifting from the glare a vagrant like me deserved to that of the circus’s premiere freak show. I even noticed a ripple in the crowd around me as the few of them that heard Detective speak openly stared at me. All and all, it was pretty weird.

“Uh yeah haha.” I said suddenly uncomfortable with the shift in mood. “What can I say? It has its…ups and downs?” I said coming up on empty on witty comebacks. What was unawakened supposed to mean anyway?

“Oh, I beg your pardon sir. A man’s faith and beliefs are his own I just well, I must admit I’ve never met a Reservationist before that was so…faithful.” Detective actually had a bit of red in his cheeks from embarrassment.

I nodded in what I hoped came off as patient understanding. I honestly had no idea what the hell they were talking about. Reservationist? Faith? I wanted to ask what the hell they meant by that but that would mean I would have to admit to being unaware of what they were talking about. And acting the fool in my own hallucination just seemed a bit much.

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“You got it in one man.” I said smiling deciding all at once to try bullshitting my way through the conversation. “It’s part of the reason I came to this city. Well aside from the sightseeing.”

“Ah! I get it.” Bennett said. Pointing a finger at me. “You’re just trying to find the Cathedral.” He said as if I finally made sense to him. And I smiled and nodded along like I understood.

“Would you like us to take you there?” Detective said. “I understand the city can be a bit overwhelming for travelers like yourself.”

I’d have rather be led to the nearest fantasy equivalent of a coffee shop but I let it go. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Even if it's a fantasy super city in your own hallucination I wanted to see how far it went before I woke up.

“Thank you, Gentlemen.” I said in what I hoped came off as gracious and not condescending. “Lead the way.”

So with a bit of cajoling through the crowd we made our way across the wide thoroughfare to the other side of the street and down another street that I’d probably have never taken if I hadn’t been led that way. The people parted around us like water. Glad to move out of the way of two Guardsmen. I was busy trying to not look too much like a tourist, but I was doing a terrible job of it. Everything was just too awesome to look at. I would have kept looking if Bennett hadn’t gotten my attention.

“So I got to know.” He said. Much more amicable now that he didn’t consider me a threat. “How long have you been waiting for awakening? And how the hell do you even go about life it you don’t have any Skills?”

“Bennett.” Detective said warningly. “Don’t go prying into the man’s faith.”

“It’s alright.” I waved the concern away. I opened my mouth to answer Bennett’s question but still having no idea what he was talking about I made a shot in the dark. “I’m twenty five now.” I said trying not to make is sound like a question. I figured giving the same answer I’d had back in the police car might be the right call.

“Twenty years…” Bennett breathed. Reeling back as if I’d just told him of some great tragedy. Even Detective shook his head in shock. “I can understand holding off an awakening if it meant garnering some more desirable classes. But the most anyone can reasonably expect is a jump up to uncommon for a smattering of options, and even then they typically only barely meet the requirements of those classes. I may be biased, but its better to start off common and have a firm foundation than to try and strive beyond your abilities and fail.” He looked at me with a smile. “I know you may have a different opinion as a Reservationist but please give it some thought.”

Classes? I thought to myself. Is this some kinda metaphor for me going back to college?

My thoughts were interrupted as he held out his hand to me as we walked. “The name’s Gregor by the way. Gregor Osden. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.” I said back. Gripping his hand. I tried hiding my wince with a smile. Jesus, the man had a hold that was more bear trap than handshake. “Toby Kincaid.”

“There we are.” Bennett said turning to me. “You’re lucky you came in time for the awakening ceremony this month.”

It was then that I just noticed we were clear of the press of buildings around us, the fancy towers giving way to what could only be a Cathedral. Immediately it brought to mind the grand architectural styles of old, a mix of something between Ancient Rome and the Renaissance. The most glaring difference between those and this though was that it was practically sparkling. No thousand-year-old stone falling to dust, or anything. It was a beautiful mix of white marble patterned with gold and illuminating crystals. There were even some parts of the design on the outside that seemed to swirl like the symbols I’d seen on the bottom of the floating river above.

“Whoa.” I said. Actually being stunned by the beauty of the thing. How did I dream that up? The smile on my face slackened. I couldn’t dream that up. There’s no way that I could ever actually make something that looked that amazing. No matter what drugs or hallucinations I was tripping on. I felt a wave of vertigo run through me. What if this was real? What if I was actually-

I clenched my teeth and bit down on that thought before it could go any further. It was too much. Too big of an idea to even entertain. It left me feeling fragile in a way like I’d never felt before. Like I was only being held together by the thinnest of strings. That would snap with the slightest push.

I felt a hand clasp my shoulder. “Quite the sight, isn’t it?” Gregor said proudly, unaware of my inner turmoil. “One of the many jewels of High Water.”

“Yeah. I’m really looking forward to the awakening.” I managed to say convincingly.

We made our way up the wide steps outside to the entrance. I saw some guards outside keeping watch and some other people moving towards the church as well. A few scattered parents hurrying their children inside. Unlike the more casual street wear I’d seen up till now. They were wearing things that were noticeably more formal. As we moved inside the massive open doorway a young girl dressed all in white approached with her hands clasped together. “Guardsmen. How may this one assist you?” She spoke easily. Completely unperturbed that I was half stumbling into her church, gawking at everything and getting dragged along by the city guard.

“Sister. This man has come to attend the awakening.” Gregor said plainly, gesturing to me.

“I see.” She said. The cleric? Priestess? I had no idea. Turned to me with a warm smile. “Is your family already inside sir? We will be starting soon, but I can lead you to them.”

“Ah no sorry.” I stammered. “I’m here for the, ah, you know…”

“He’s unawakened Sister.” Bennett supplied happily, still sounding amazed at that fact.

The holy Sister’s perfect smile hitched with a jolt as she looked at me in shock. Then realizing how she must have looked; she schooled her expression. With a bit of difficulty it seemed.

“Well.” She said cheeks a light shade of red. “I have no doubt that your faithfulness shall be greatly rewarded sir. Please, let me lead you to where the other children are-” She clamped her mouth shut and hastily bowed to me. “Apologies, I meant unawakened sir, ah yes.”

“It’s fine.” I waved away her concern. I had almost no idea what this whole thing was about, but I was committed now. And whenever I make a mistake, I see it through. “Bye guys. Thanks a bunch for the help.”

“We were glad to be of assistance.” Gregor said. Looking at the few guards around the church. “I have some business with the other guards here so if we are still here after your awakening let us know what you chose.”

“Yeah! I’d love to get to know the next King’s Sage.” Bennett said sarcastically.

I nodded at them both as they left and followed the Sister towards the Church’s main hall. Along the walls there were stylized murals depicting a blue crystal over a crowd of people. The people it shone down on changed. They took up swords, sewing needles, shields, and pitchforks. All of them holding aloft their new tools. The further down the wall depicted a scene of those people coming to the crystal again. There were less of them than before but when the crystal shone on them again it made them, more somehow. A swordsman surrounded by floating translucent blades. A woman with lights streaming around her in a river of colors.

“Please make your way over to the other unawakened sir.” The Sister said softly. Gesturing forward. I’d been so wrapped up in the art on the walls that I’d almost missed how we’d entered the main hall. It was hushed like you’d expect a church to be before service began. My eyes immediately locked onto the Prius sized crystal on the main altar. Shimmering with a light of its own in the softly lit chamber. Very much like the one I’d seen in the murals leading to the chamber. Seated all along the center front pews were children of roughly the same age, human and nonhuman.

I pointed to the front just to make sure I’d heard the Sister right. She nodded and stared at me expectantly. I looked back towards the front of the room and sighed. Making my way over towards the daycare section. I could almost feel the stares boring into my back as my steps echoed in the quiet space. I reached the front and every one of those kids looked at me like I’d come straight from another dimension. Open mouths and shock over every last face.

“Sorry, could you scoot over please.” I said quietly ignoring the metric tons of glares being hurled my way by the parents a few pews back.

A small fox looking kid made some room for me on the end and I sat. Staring forward and clasping my hands together on my lap. Sitting silently like any good church goer would. Honestly praying that somebody woke me up and saved me from the awkward hell this dream had become. God unfortunately, chose to ignore my prayer.

“You’re old.” The fox whispered to me. He sounded like he was five or six.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that Firefox.” I whispered back testily.

“I’m not gonna get a fire class! I want water!” He whisper shouted back at me. Clearly affronted.

“You know what kid? Just for that, I’m going back to Chrome.”

The kid paused. His fuzzy brows knitting together in confusion. “What’s a Chrome?”

I was spared the work of having to explain Internet browsers to an anthropomorphic child as an old man in flowing white robes with gold and blue accents entered out onto the altar from a back door. He was trailed by two attendants one of whom was the girl who helped me earlier. He stood in front of the crystal on the altar and raised his hands to the gathered crowd. As if on cue everyone in the church stood and I rushed to follow their example and look like I knew what I was doing.

The old man, a priest I guessed, spoke like he was repeating something said often. “We are gathered here today before a blessed crystal of The Endless Azure, The Great Preserver, The Grand Akashic. For what purpose have you come this day?”

“For guidance.” Everyone in the crowd intoned.

“For guidance you have come and so it shall be given. Let us offer up ourselves to the Skills and knowledge of the Azure that we may be enlightened. That we may utilize what we have been given in a manner pleasing to Her.” There was a brief pause as he surveyed the room, eyes flashing to me as he noticed me for the first time. Frowning for a split second before he regained his composure.

“You may be seated.” He said walking around the altar to a small Pulpit. He waited until everyone was comfortable again before he started speaking again. With a soft smile this time. “An Awakening is foremost one of the greatest gifts the Great Preserver has provided us. The skills, attributes, and abilities we are all given from our Classes is one of the defining factors that lifted up our Kingdom and its people after the terror of the Breaking. The weak became strong. The untrained became skilled. And the best of us rose up to lead us out of the darkness of those times. Today we usher in a new generation of Awakened to follow in their forefather’s footsteps. To use their Akashic given talents for the greater good.”

The whole time the old man had been speaking I had only gotten more and more confused. Skills? Attributes? Were the classes I’d heard everyone talking about refer to the kind you get in RPGs? Geez, I almost expected him to go on and talk about levels or something. I’ll admit I have a bit of a weakness for video games but considering my brain spawned a whole church dedicated to classing up. Maybe it was more of a problem than I realized.

I snapped out of my daydreaming as the priest turned and looked towards the front row. The kids around me all practically vibrating with excitement. “They’ve waited long enough for this day I think.” He looked pointedly at me with a smile. “Though some have waited much, much longer than others.” That got a chuckle from the crowd. Haha yeah. Have your laughs. I’ll be the one laughing after I wake up from all this.

“So, with that in mind that why don’t we cut the ceremony a little short and get to what we’ve all been waiting for eh?” He said with a wide hearty grin. The kids practically exploded from their seats and formed a line at the base of the altar. Naturally that put me at the back of the line. In terms of speed and enthusiasm, I was no match for children.

The first of them, a young human girl, walked up the steps of the altar with her hands nervously clasped together. One of the female attendants to the priest guided her towards the crystal on the altar. The priest made a gesture with his right hand. Two fingers to the forehead, drawn down over the heart clenching into a fist before opening, palm upward. It was weird but it had the same weight as a man performing the sign of the cross. He said something to the girl as she repeated the gesture back to the priest in reverse.

She put her small hand on the crystal as whatever light lit it from within danced with patterns for a second before dying down again. She came away from it beaming like a ray of sunshine and walked off to the side to a well-dressed couple I assumed were her parents.

I frowned. Was that it? Not saying there needed to be fireworks or anything but I was hoping for something…More? It went on pretty quick after that. Kid after kid walking up, putting a hand on the glowing rock, and coming away like they’d all won the lotto. As I got closer, I could finally hear what the head priest was saying to each kid as they went up. “The will and heart to choose.” He said softly as he performed the gesture again. “A choice of heart and will.” I’d hear the next kid say.

The fox who bullied me had gone up and this time I noticed a flash of disgust in the head priest’s manner as he had to address the boy. His gesture and words more curt than when he addressed the human kids. I felt a wave of sympathy for the kid as my eyes narrowed at the priest. Fantasy racism was still racism dammit. What the fuck priest guy? I looked around to see if anyone else was bothered like I was, but no one seemed to have noticed. I thought about making a fuss for the first time in my fantasy inspired hallucination but the moment had passed. The fox had already put his hand on the crystal and came away with happy tears in his eyes. Running off the side of the altar towards a lone nonhuman parent.

It was my turn at the altar now and I made my way up the steps towards the crystal. The attendant who helped me at the door to the church came forward as if to guide me up but stopped after remembering I was an adult. The priest turned to me and seemed to be holding back a grin. “The will and heart to choose.” He said plainly. After deciding I didn’t like the guy, I just spoke the words without the gesture.

“A choice of heart and will.” I said heatedly before slapping my hand down on the crystal. I’d heard a few gasps from the audience as the priest’s face grew red in anger. I would have felt more smug then but a familiar blue screen popped up in front of me as my eyes widened in horror.

[Unawakened Subject detected. Generating Akashic profile.]

[Name: Toby Kincaid]

[Race: Variant Human]

[Class: Unassigned]

[Error: No Classification Intent detected. Generating Class options.]

I immediately tried pulling my hand away as I saw that cursed text again, but my hand felt like it was fused to the crystal. The lights within it glowing as if in response to my terror. I heard the priest speak up behind me. “This ritual is sacrosanct sir. I’ll not have it impugned by some lowly Reservationist desperate for a higher rarity class than they’re worth!”

I couldn’t even respond as the crystal in front of me started pulling on me. Like it had suddenly gained its own gravitational pull. Not a physical pull but a mental one. One that was pulling on my thoughts and emotions like it was trying to draw them into itself. The light within it growing brighter as the patterns within it twisted and duplicated.

[Your Class options have increased.]

[Your Class options have increased.]

[Your Class options have increased.]

Whatever else was said to me was lost in the wave of light that washed over the altar. I’d have screamed but my body felt unresponsive, frozen even. I felt myself tipping forward into the sea of patterns inside the crystal. My tenuous hold on my body growing weaker as the pull of it grew stronger and stronger.

[Choose.]

The emotionless word hit me with the force of a tsunami. My body hurled away from me as my mind fell screaming into the light.