The older woman at the information desk, Darlene, directed me to the english language section. I was looking for material for a paper on the influence of the English language on the development of other languages throuought history. The relevant material was in a separate room. Clever architecture, each major section had it's own room and central reading/study space for optimal sound isolation. It's what I liked so much about this particular library.
I opened the door, a standard wooden frame with a large glass window in the middle. The door was more glass than wood really. This just added greater confusion when the area I stepped into was not at all the room I so clearly saw on the other side of the glass. I tried to exit out of reflex, but there was no more door. The second thing I noticed was the smell. I was most definitely in a restroom of some sort a very dirty one.
This was extremely dissorienting. It took me a few seconds to look around an assess the situation. The room was all hardwood. There were a few stalls, and none of the stalls had doors. The toilets were large holes lined with some type of glazed stoneware or ceramic. These were definitely primitive forms of the classic squat roilet one might find in Japan, Peru, or Turkey. The sink was a large trough with several taps for water. Each seemed to use a simple lever for on and off. This was all very strange.
"What the hell?" I attempted to say. No words came out, at least not any that sounded like what a sound should sound like. Instead the air seemed to vibrate silently with the words as if trying to comprehend them and give an answer. Then my suspicions were confirmed when an actual answer was given. I was not ready. So in order, there was indeed a Hell, this was not it, this was a restroom in the public square of a town called Uluunquetin in the province of Farahatnan under rule of the empire of Viti. This was not earth, neither was it in the same directional flow of time-space. I had done the impossible. "Holy shit.". . . I should have known better. . .
It was exactly what I 'said'. It felt amazing. I had never felt such pleasure in my entire life. Once it was over, I noticed tears of ecstatic joy pouring down my face. I didn't care that the noises I made were extremely undignified. Nothing else mattered in the light of what I just experienced. It no longer mattered that I was in this crazy and unrealistic situation. The only thing that mattered is that I had just experienced a true holy shit. I only wish two things could have been different in that moment: that I would have been squated over one of the holes instead of standing fully clothed, and that someone hadn't walked in the second legs gave out and I collapsed to my knees out of overwhealming joy and gratefulness.
"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!" The woman screamed and then collapsed. I didn't even need to guess why. It was the smell. The divine excrement that I was siting in had the most overpoweringly glorious fragrance I had ever encountered. Surely mortals were not made to experience this. It was intoxicating to the senses. This was nothing like a turd should be. It defied all logic. The odor was so overpowering that it was actually removing the stench from the restroom and superimposing itself. The air was becoming cleaner. Everything felt magical and surreal. The woman's eyes eventually rolled back into her skull, and she fainted. I on the other hand felt myself begining to feel a transformation.
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
This thing had just passed through my intestines and my body had absorbed some of whatever divine essence this thing contained. I was also sitting in it with full skin contact. I was never one to take hard drugs, but I enjoyed the occasional whiskey or cigar. Mind altering effects were not a foreign concept to me, but I was tripping so hard that I could not even imagine any amount of earth drugs could approach what I was experiencing. I could fill my blood veins with pure THC and ecstasy and still not come close to what this was doing to me. My senses were expanding. My mind was sharpening. My body was being invigorated. I felt powerful and energized like never before. I felt limitless. Surely this must be what it feels like to be a god. I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually whatever was happening to me finished happening.
I got up and 'spoke' with arrogant confidence this time. I couldn't help but feel confident. It almost felt like an obligation. I was limitless! I was a god! "CLEAN!" the word that was not a word shook my surroundings while keeping things perfectly still, and there was no time taken to decipher the word. In that very moment I and everything remotely within the sound of my voice became pristine according to my understanding of the word. Then everything went black. It was a lesson in pride that I will never forget.
----------------------------------------
Elsewhere.
"Yeah, I was just taking a dump and I promise you it was the strangest feeling. My turd dissapeared inside my bowels without ever exiting my butthole! Somebody stole my poop! Who the heck would steal a poop? What kind of pervert would even think to do such a thing? It's the most irresponsible and frivolous use of magic I could even imagine! Poop stealing! What have we come to that the new generation of holy beings is resorting to stealing poop from others' bowels? This isn't right!" Said Yoche to his brother. He was very worried about what this might mean that there was such a deviant among the divine beings. Just the thought made his tail curl.
----------------------------------------
Earth
Soon Emil would be declared missing. After several years and not the slightest hint as to what may have happened to him, he was declared dead. The library in question became a place of great suspicion and even superstition from that day forward.
----------------------------------------
Uluunquetin, public women's restroom
Avita recovered first. She immediately noticed that all her senses were sharper and clearer. It was especially so with her sense of smell, but there was a significant improvement in all her sensory abilities. It helped her notice that the formerly dirty restroom was now pristine, and so was she, so was everything. She did not even hear the sound of insects. It was bizarre. She saw the cause of the craziness unconcious in front of her. He looked different than she remembered when she first opened the door and was assulted by that overpowering fragrance. He was much better looking, definitely the most attractive human being she had ever seen. His skin and hair were perfect. She examined him almost like one would examine a horse or hunting dog with little restraint. As a guard, inspections were common for her, and her curiosity was abounding. His teeth were perfect, truly perfect. His body even had a mild fragrance that was really rather wonderful, so wonderful that she wondered if she could bottle it. This was a truly strange man.
In keeping with her duty, she carried him out and toward the guard station for questioning. Outside, there were a multitude of people unconcious and on the ground. The mystical fragrance must have gotten them when she opened the door. She would make sure to report all of this and get her fellow guards down here.
The young man was oddly easy to cary. Normally she would have definitely worked up a sweat carrying such a weight this distance, but she felt she could do that again before even breathing heavily. Something was different. She got the feeling a lot would be different after today.