Chapter 2

i, Initiation Rite

Nine years before…

In my hands was a bladeless sword hilt. Had it for as long as I could remember. I was told to keep the object like it was a part of me—like it was an arm; and I wouldn’t want it gone.

My parents said it could become a Possessed Weapon anytime.

Knock. Knock.

Sounded the door to my room.

Someone slid it open, and light streaked inside.

A young man entered my room, his hair short and black. His black eyes were gentle, and his lips naturally formed a smile when rested.

‘Your initiation rite will begin soon,’ Rynth, my brother, said. He looked around to see that I had been staying at the dark; then entered my room. ‘What’s wrong, Synth?’

‘… Nothing is wrong,’ I said.

‘You have the habit of being in the dark when you’re seeking peace of mind,’ my brother remarked. He knelt and sat beside me on the cold wooden floor. ‘You can always tell me if you have problems, Synth. I’m here for you.’ He patted my back, always so reassuring.

He’ll listen to me if I tell him what’s wrong, I thought.

‘… What was it like?’ I asked him. ‘When you had your initiation rite?’

He glanced at me, trying to get a read of my expression. ‘I was scared. Everyone is when they had their initiation rite.’ He patted my head and gave me a smile. I could feel his warmth. ‘It’s okay to be scared.

‘I’ve had my initiation rite; and as you can see, I’m alright. You will be too.’

I wasn’t scared. Fear wasn’t the cause of my problem. It was something else.

‘Listen,’ my brother said, ‘keep this a secret from Mother: I’ve acquired myself candies. They’re sweet, but not too sweet, and I think you’ll like it. I promise I’ll share you them once you’re done with your initiation rite. Look forward to it.’

Offering treats was his usual method to comfort me; and I had to admit that it usually worked.

I nodded.

‘Alright.’ My brother stood up, then offered his hand. ‘Let’s go, shall we?’

I took his hand and stood up.

*

‘Finally!’ my father’s voice thundered as he saw my brother and me arriving in front of the hall. Not that he was angry, just his characteristics. I heard that his giant physique was the cause of his loud voice. ‘Is it time yet?’

‘There are still a few minutes, dear,’ my mother answered. Her voice was calm and soothing, a contrast to my father’s. Behind her, were the rest of my families; and to the back were the maids and butlers.

Everyone, myself included, had worn black.

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‘Rynth,’ my mother said, her lively red lips smiled, ‘you’re always able to find Synth so easily… What’s the secret?’

‘She’s never difficult to find,’ Rynth said.

‘So you say…’ My mother shrugged. She then walked toward me; and when she was close, she crouched and looked at me straight in the eyes. When she blinked, her eyelashes had a beautiful motion to it. ‘My little girl… Can’t believe you’re about to have your initiation rite.’ She playfully pinched my cheeks. ‘You grow up so fast… Too fast…’

I remained silent. Her hands on my cheeks were cold.

‘About time,’ my grandfather reminded with a crackled voice. Though he was old, the gray hair and the wrinkles only made him look powerful. Of everyone around—better than my brother—my grandfather was always able to tell what I was feeling.

He glanced at me and let out a huff.

‘The result of the initiation rite could be affected by your mental state. You better let out what’s bothering you now.’

My mother heard him clearly. She let go of her pinch and pressed her palms to my cheeks. Cold. ‘Anything bothering you?’

I reluctantly nodded.

‘You ought to let it out then, go on,’ she urged. Hard to decline when she stared directly into my eyes, peeking into my soul.

‘I…’ I don’t want to say.

‘Synth,’ there was authority in her tone, ‘let it out.’ Looking into her black eyes, I was dragged into an abyssal whirlpool

‘I… I’m worried.’ I spoke, even though I didn’t want to. ‘That once I’m done with the initiation rite, I won’t be like any of you.’ A feeling inside my chest had been bugging me, one that told me the outcome wouldn’t be favorable. There was no reasoning to it, just that I felt it. Just that it seemed I knew.

‘Nonsense!’ My father’s loud voice startled me. ‘You are my daughter, are you not? The outcome is obvious!’

‘Your father is right.’ My mother touched her forehead to mine. ‘You’re one of us. Your worry is unfounded, Synth.’

I was silent. Their words, though kind, couldn’t shake off my worry.

‘Come,’ my grandfather said. He entered the hall first.

Thinking that it was time, I let myself free from my mother and chased after my grandfather. Before I entered the hall however, I saw my brother waiting beside the entrance.

‘Synth,’ he said, ‘regardless of the outcome, you’ll still be my sister.’

Unlike my parents, he wasn’t confident of the outcome. Discouraging, but those very words of his got rid of my unease. I didn’t have to worry about being like them; because regardless, he would treat me the same.

I was glad to have him as my brother.

‘Alright.’ I finally smiled. ‘I look forward to the candies.’

He was flustered and placed a finger in front of his lips.

Ah, I realized as I went into the hall.

‘Candies?’ I could faintly hear my mother’s inquiry before the entrance was closed. My brother would have an explaining to do. That was my fault.

*

All I could see surrounding me was an unending darkness. This darkness was meant to incite anxiety and fear, but I had always liked the darkness. It was like a loyal companion who would conceal me when I needed to hide. A place where I could find peace.

Fwoosh.

I heard fire being lit.

Appearing from the dark was a sphere of dim light coming from a candle; and sitting behind it with his legs folded was my grandfather.

He had his eyes closed, and my steps were silent. But he could sense my presence and opened his eyes when I entered the sphere of light.

I folded my legs and sat down. I bowed my head and with both hands rested my bladeless sword hilt in front of the candle. My grandfather then slid to my side a filled ceramic glass.

At my grandfather’s cue, I had to drink the content.

Poison.

What came after was silence.

The liquid inside the glass was pitch black; and I could see my face reflected on the surface. I thought I would see worry, but instead I saw calm.

I’m not afraid.

‘Drink,’ my grandfather said.

I lifted the glass and drank the poison. It was without smell or taste. Though it looked thick, it coursed through my throat smoothly. I kept gulping till the final drip fell on my tongue.

Immediately, I felt a solid throb from my heart. Followed by a burning pain throughout my body. Hot. As if my flesh was pressed onto scorching iron.

I cried. I screamed.

Each breath I took seemed only to fuel the fire.

My grandfather only stared at me as my screams erupted louder and louder; and as I fell on my back, crashing to the floor.

Then I felt cold.

The fire I felt had drained my soul; and the chill now froze me.

My screams began dying.

I will… I thought as I was losing my consciousness, become a… Spectre.