Chapter 1

I and The Boy

            I heard anguished screams.

            I—still a girl then—had my knees on the ground, tears coursing down my cheeks, horror reflected in my eyes. I saw my parents. My father and mother, both slashed to pieces. Blood absent from their cuts.

            Fallen near me was a bladeless sword hilt.

            I had killed them.

*

            Screams.

            Inside my mind.

            I could hear them.

            Faint, distant, far away, but I wanted them gone. Kill it before it reigns, I thought.

            I showed my palm to Rie—a gesture to gain myself time before she started speaking—and my other hand reached inside my jacket. I took out my pill container, twisted the lid open, and raised it with a tilt above my mouth. Then I shook it, allowing the pills inside to fall, and I swallowed.

            Didn’t bother counting them. They worked faster this way.

            ‘Have you ever heard of prescriptions?’ asked Rie. She sat opposite to me at a table outside of a café. Despite having a child at our table, Rie had a pipe in her hand and was breathing out smoke.

            There were three of us there: me, Rie, and a child whom she brought along. Just two young women and a boy.

            ‘I don’t need prescriptions,’ I said. The screams were beginning to fade, pushed away by the pills. The effects wouldn’t be this fast had I followed prescriptions.

            ‘I should expect you dying from overdose someday then.’ Rie inhaled her tobacco, savoring the taste. And I, you from addiction.

            Rie, the woman with ghastly blue hair, who wore white crop-top jacket and white leather gloves—the latter she never took off—was not my friend. She was just an acquaintance. An acquaintance who knew my history, but thankfully never abused the knowledge. Or at least, hadn’t yet gained an opportunity to abuse it.

            I had never trusted her fully.

            Told me her name was Rie, but I doubted the verity. Showed that her crop-top jacket was for pipe storage, but I believed there were weapons underneath. Not that I was paranoid; but rather, I was cautious. The woman named Rie was shrouded with mystery.

            I knew only little about her, whilst she knew much about me.

            Our meeting today had been caused by a single matter: I was unemployed. Rie had called me and asked for a meeting to offer me a job. Had I been great at job interviews, then I wouldn’t be here.

            Rie set aside her pipe and blew out smoke.

            ‘He’s Kallum,’ she glanced at and introduced the boy; then me. ‘Kal, she’s Synth.’

            The boy looked at me and our eyes met momentarily. I had a glance at his black, slightly dark purple, eyes. Then he immediately looked away.

            ‘He does that,’ Rie remarked.

            Initially, I had thought the boy was Rie’s son. However, unless Rie was older than she looked, it wasn’t possible.

            Still had to be sure.

            ‘Who is he to you?’ I asked.

            Silence. There was consideration before Rie answered. ‘He’s a child I picked weeks ago. Long story short: I don’t want him under my care anymore.’ At this, the boy, Kallum, looked at Rie with a pained; sorrowful expression, tears welling in his eyes. Rie meanwhile, didn’t bat an eyelid.

            I didn’t meddle, for their relationship wasn’t my business.

            ‘I’m leaving him under your care,’ Rie said.

            I raised both my eyebrows, surprised. Expected her to be joking, but she wasn’t one to.

            Me? Him?

            ‘I don’t want to take care of him either.’ I should have been more mindful of what I said, because the boy twitched at my words and his tears coursed. I felt a stab of guilt at the sight. Regardless, this only proved my point, I couldn’t possibly take care of—

            Rie took out and dropped a thick wallet brimming and spilling with notes of the highest denomination on my side of the table.

            Payment for the job.

            Lights.

            With that money, my financial worries would be no more. I could stop searching for jobs, could eat thrice daily, could stay at a better place, and could easily purchase pills. All I had to do was to accept the job and take care of the boy.

            My hand instinctively reached for the wallet.

            Just before I was about to claim it, the screams inside my mind let out a last withering wail before the pills killed it. Hearing it, I was reminded of who—of what I was. Someone like me wouldn’t be a good caretaker for the boy. It’s best that he’s not involved with me, I thought.

            My hand stopped before claiming the wallet. As much as I wanted to be freed of my financial worries, I couldn’t take it.

            ‘That’s your pay every month,’ Rie said.

            Tempting, but I pulled my hand back, and I shook my head. ‘Not about… the pay. You know… me, Rie.’ You know what I am.

            ‘I know.’ I looked at Rie. She stared at me with eyes absent of doubt. ‘That’s why I’m asking you to take care of Kallum.’

            Of all the people, you choose me…

*

            The boy, Kallum, sat on the edge of the sidewalk. He hugged his knees, had his stare on the black concrete road, and was sobbing. I hadn’t an inkling of his relationship with Rie, but it was close enough to make him cry after separation.

            I was at a loss on how to comfort him.

            Would I, a stranger he just met, be able to comfort him? Surely, my attempt would only worsen the situation? What could I do? What was I supposed to do?

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            I had never taken care of someone younger than me.

            However, hearing his cry, I decided to try.

            I sat down beside him on the sidewalk—and said nothing. I simply announced my presence and stated that I was here to stay with him. Hopefully, I gave the boy a sense of ease.

            The road before us was roaming with iron carriages. Black; metallic carriages that needed not be pulled by horses. They had given it a name: automated car, but I still called it iron carriages. Calling it an automated car felt as if I also accepted the noise and black smoke that vehicle made.

            On the other side of the road, some passersby would steal glances at me and Kallum. I paid them no mind, for the boy was under my care, and instead I looked at their clothes. Canes had become a trend since the Governor supposedly showed up to a speech with one. Other than that, the trend remained the same, still formal clothing with vests and dresses, or casual with jackets.

            I glanced at Kallum. The boy was still crying.

            It was clear that nothing would happen unless I did something.

            ‘How old… are you?’ I gave light conversations an attempt.

            The boy looked at me, his eyes met mine momentarily, then he turned away. He sniffled, ‘Eleven.’

            Half my age, I thought.

            Then, I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t the best at making conversations when I was under the pills’ effects. I closed my eyes, seeking for answers. Then I was reminded of what my grandfather had told my elder brother in the past.

            ‘Boys shouldn’t cry… so easily,’ I said.

            Kallum continued sobbing. ‘She left me…’

            It was painful to be left behind, to be left alone. I knew the feeling well.

            Again, I closed my eyes, seeking for answers. There must be something that I could do to comfort the boy. If I were at his age, what would I find comforting? When I was a girl—whenever I was sad… my older brother would…

            ‘Have you ever…’ I said, ‘eaten ice-cream… before?’ When I was young, my brother would buy me treats, good ones, to comfort me.

            Kallum turned toward me, but his eyes didn’t meet mine. ‘Ais… creem?’

            ‘Ice-cream,’ I repeated.

            ‘Ice-cream.’

            I nodded.

            ‘What’s… ice-cream?’

            ‘It’s a… delicacy.’ The treat was expensive when it wasn’t winter, but I had received a hefty amount of money from Rie. Surely, it was also meant for the boy’s expense. ‘Soft ice that… melts on the tongue… with various flavors. Delicious.’

            Kallum’s sobbing finally stopped. Ice-cream had gotten his interest.

            I stood up and gave him my hand to hold. ‘Let’s… have it.’

            The boy stared at my hand for a while, then stood up by himself without my help.

            My guilt was still fresh, so I noticed that he was keeping his distance from me. Possibly because of what I said: that I didn’t want to take care of him.

            ‘If it’s… what I said… I apologize,’ I told him.

            Kallum shook his head; and said nothing.

            There was an awkward silence between us, but when I began walking, he followed me.

*

            The boy and I sat on the edge of a sidewalk. This time, he had a cup of vanilla ice-cream. He was hesitant to try, but after I urged him, he grabbed the spoon and took a bite. His face brightened up. ‘Delicious,’ he uttered.

            Finally, I thought, he cheers up.

            Seeing him enjoy the ice-cream, I made a faint smile.

            When I was young, my brother had bought an ice-cream to comfort me. Perhaps I too had been as easy as Kallum when I was eleven.

            ‘Thank you, sister,’ I heard Kallum said.

            ‘You can… call me Synth.’

            ‘Thank you, Synth.’

            ‘Welcome.’

            I might not be experienced in taking care of a child, but I believed that I did myself a good job as I had stopped his crying. Now, I needed to figure how he would live with me. My current place was messy and shoddy at best; not ideal for him. I had to find—

            A shadow loomed over me.

            I looked to the side and upward to see a large man standing and looking at Kallum, then I. His face was full of scars and his left eye was blind white.

            ‘Could you hand the child to me?’ The man asked with an authoritative tone. ‘Of course, I’m not asking you this for free. After all, nothing in this world is.’ His hand reached inside his silver-ornamented vest and he pulled out a leather wallet. His was thicker than Rie’s. ‘This whole wallet,’ he showed the notes, they were those of highest denomination, ‘for the boy.’

            What’s with today? I thought.

            First, I was offered a hefty amount of money to take care of a child; and now again but to let go of a child. I could be freed of my responsibility to take care of Kallum and gain myself more money.

            I glanced at Kallum. He had dropped his cup of ice-cream and was shivering in fear at the sight of the man.

            I…

*

            I had taken the money.

            I had agreed to the job of taking Kallum under my care. As soon as Rie had seen me taking the wallet, she stored her pipe inside her jacket, stood up from the table, and began to leave.

            Her immediacy was something which I noted.

            Kallum, still not wanting to separate from Rie, hopped down from his seat and followed her—but was shooed away crudely. Dejected by Rie’s treatment, the boy was saddened and sat on the edge of the sidewalk, sobbing.

            I hadn’t gone to Kallum’s side yet. Instead, I had gone to Rie.

            ‘Why me?’ I asked.

*

            ‘Because you won’t abandon him,’ Rie had replied.

            I shook my head at the man’s offer. No matter how I perceived it, the man was an enemy. Kallum was my responsibility now. I had made the choice; and I wasn’t handing him away.

            ‘There will be enemies coming for him.’

            The man scratched the scar on his chin. ‘Think it through miss. It’s either the wallet or this.’ From inside his vest, he showed me a glimpse of a flintlock’s handle. ‘I’d rather pay you with a note than with a bullet.’

            I looked around, checking my surroundings, and saw men looking at me with hostility. I wasn’t facing only one enemy.

            ‘And I know you can protect him.’

            ‘You said…’ I stood up and stared at the man, ‘that nothing… is free.’ I reached inside my jacket and pulled out a bladeless sword hilt. ‘Let’s see… if you can…’ from the hilt, a sharp silver blade materialized, ‘pay the price.’

            At the sight of my Possessed Weapon, the man’s good eye was filled with terror. He immediately pulled out his flintlock and pointed the barrel at me.

            BANG!

            The gunshot roared.

*

            I had tears flowing.

            On that day when I saw the corpses of my parents—when I had killed them, I accepted what I was.

            I’m…

*

            The skies above were blue.

            On the ground beneath rested my enemies, slashed to pieces and blood was absent from their cuts.

            Passersby had fled from the scene and soon the constables would arrive. I willed my Possessed Weapon to disappear; and the metal blade began rotting to non-existence, leaving only the hilt. Once compact, I stored it under my jacket.

            To my relief, Kallum was unharmed.

            From his stare toward me, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Perhaps he was scared. After all, I was the cause for this horrific scene he was seeing.

            ‘I thought—you didn’t want to take care of me,’ the boy said. ‘Why?’

            Because despite the money, I knew the true reason why Rie had chosen me. Whenever I looked at the boy, I couldn’t help but see myself in him. A solitary existence, without someone to lean on to.

            ‘Being alone…’ I said, ‘is lonely.’

            Rie was wrong. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t abandon the boy. I couldn’t. Not unless I knew he would be in better hands, at least.

            ‘Sorry, that you… ended up… with me.’ I knew that I wasn’t the best caretaker.

            The boy shook his head. ‘I think you’re a good person.’

            … Is that so?

            I would have talked more about this with him, but time was ticking. The boy and I needed to flee from the scene unless we wanted to be caught by the constables.

            ‘Let’s go.’ I began walking and he followed me. I felt a slight hunger after the fight; and figured that the boy might need something to help forget what he just saw. ‘Have you ever… eaten cake… with icing?’