I stare at the wiggly bits, and one wiggles, swinging on her hand toward me, like a pendulum. It didn’t leave her hand, but it was still a little gross.

“Ok, so how does this work?” I asked her.

She somehow gave the impression of smiling as she looked at me with her featureless face.

“Well, I stick this in you, and we see what happens.” She spoke.

I look once again at the wiggling thing.

“Please tell me you’re joking. There has to be more to my skills than that. I was kind of expecting a choice here.” I told her.

She starts giggling again, “Well duh, I have to push it through your class first though, right now it’s just kind of… unprimed? I suppose it's solidified experience, but it won’t fold, see they have no base.” She said, her free hand moving so she can pass a finger over the thinner strands.

The unnamed guide approached me, until she was right up next to me, each step made things swing more toward me, like load stones seeking my insides.

“Are you ready?” She asked me.

“I’m not sure…” I told her, my eyes going between her head and hands.

“Nothing too it, but to do it.” she exclaimed, before thrusting her hand into my form, lifting one strand up to one of the clusters, and fed the string in.

I could only feel the string moving through the shape, not her hand in what looked like my chest. It felt like a tickle, only without the jerking feeling. Looking down, I could see it, feel the flexing, she reached behind as the strand was pulled through, before she whipped it back up and onto her shoulder and moved on.

Each of the five strands went through me before she stepped back, and pulled the strands down into her hand again.

“Ok, we can work on what skills you get now.” She told me.

I looked down at her hand, the coils had lost some bits and now had those key-shaped teeth down their length.

“Um, how do we do that?” I asked.

“Well, I show you what they can do, and you pick them.” She told me.

“And how are you going to show me?” I asked.

She raised her finger as if she was going to start lecturing me, before stopping.

“Oh, you’re not asleep.” She said, sounding quiet.

You have got to be kidding me.

She starts taping her face for a bit before continuing, on, “I suppose, I can just tell you the skills? It’s boring but I can list them out for you… Oh wait, I could just use my skill and let it tell you, that would be way easier than just listing them out.” she says, meandering as she thought.

She reached her free hand into her body, her nimble fingers bending around the dense layers of her significantly more solid form until it stopped. Her fingers pulled then, only her fingers, her hand not moving an inch until a small, terrifyingly dense shape exited her body.

It was still connected to her, the strands of the other bits curling out in little helixes towards wherever in her it connected.

I stared at her. It was like watching someone pull out their own heart. It was both grotesque and fascinating at the same time.

I shuttered, “Is that… ok? Is that ok to do?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeh sure. Are you ready?” She stated casually.

“If I say no, will you not do it?” I asked her.

“That’s not a no,” she said, before reaching her hand towards me, holding the skill in her palm, and slapping it down onto my head.

I was going to argue with her, but the moment my [Guide] slapped the thing down on my head I shuddered. The second it passed into me, words started filling my head and my mind stopped thinking about the thing as it started parsing information.

Words organized themselves in my mind as a list of thousands of possible skill shapes. My mind flew down the list from things, shapes resolving into words like,

[Loud voice]

Basic.

Active.

Prerequisites: N/A

Amplifies voice to carry farther than normally, distance scales with Durability accuracy of spoken word carried scales with Social.

or

[Longbow Expertise]

Uncommon.

Passive.

Prerequisites: Longbow proficiency.

Amplifies proficiency with a longbow, rapidly lowering the necessary trial and error to achieve expertise. Handling Scales with Body and Mind, Accuracy scales with Senses and Mind, Efficiency scales with Durability and Mind.

To

[Seductress’s Balm]

Common.

Active.

Prerequisites: Class focused on sexual intercourse.

Sooths and heals minor bodily damage that can be caused by sexual intercourse.

Effect scales with Durability, Frequency scales with Durability.

They begin to resolve themselves, bits organizing themselves into sections based on what can use them. Less like a list of hundreds of thousands of entries, and more like sections in a book.

Sections like [Labourer], and [Hunter], that got shorter at each section, going from some 200 skills to 100, to 50 and so on, each section separated into two sections one smaller, one shorter. The first section, which seemed to line up with someone’s first class was all Basic, with capstone skills being Common. I recognized my Labourer’s [Displace dirt], which was Common. The second-tier skills seemed to be mostly Common with the capstones being Uncommon.

Basic, Common, Uncommon, Unusual, Fine, Rare, Very Rare, Expert, Master, and a few beyond that that my brain didn’t translate the words of the skills.

My guide’s words cut through my confused mind as my swirling head looked through them.

“No peaking, it's not like you can remember the ones you cant pick anyways, come on look for the skills you get. See here I’ll do it for you.” She spoke.

I wasn’t able to do much more than make a weird noise before the rest of the entries were filtered away. I was left with a list of 30 or so skills to look at.

Once I was done parsing them, I finally had enough thought to ask her about them.

“What the heck am I looking at? I mean skills, but I have no clue what I’m doing. What does Common even mean?” I asked the question full of confusion as the words ran through my sight.

She hummed, “Common is a weird translation, but I guess it works. Related to the tier, your abilities are all second tier, the second bit is kind of like... The type of mana or energy they affect. The next is how it’s activated and stuff. Just pick one for now, then think about it. It will help you narrow them down.” She said in a perfectly relaxed tone.

I looked at the thirty common skills.

Oh boy, there are a lot of these. Oh boy…

There were skills upon skills upon skills upon skills. Skills for boosting plants, skills for eating plants, skills for making plants eat stuff. Four of the skills were boosts for my current skills, apparent upgrades of the weaker ones, four more were side grades. In fact, there were only a few that were totally new. None of which interested me all that much, I wasn’t trying to be a [Farmer], or [Farmhand].

But if I needed to pick just one skill, I would start with an upgrade of the most useful skill I had gotten, even if it was general.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

[Verdant Touch]

Plant, life.

Common.

Passive.

Prerequisites: [Green thumb].

A general horticultural skill that encourages plant growth and health. Acts on all plants, significantly increasing vitality and growth of all non-fruiting vegetation on touch. Magical scaling based on skill.

I did not expect this to touch on life, the first one didn’t, most of them just affect plants. If my guess was right, the next tier could probably get that up to an aura, or I suppose it could be like a superior fondle plant, but if I can I want an aura that would be so useful. And I might even get healing, I wonder what mom would think about that.

I was too wobbly in the head to get caught up on that thought, instead, I asked the guide. “I’m thinking [Verdant Touch], but what does magical scaling based on skill mean?”

“Very risqué,” she said, “All that means is that you need a magical skill to get it to scale, like Plant Magic, which you would get as part of a magical class. Are you going to go with a longer range? half of these skills start to bridge into magical skills later on, you could be like a [Verdant Mage] or [Druid] or something.”

That catches me for a second and she uses my hesitation to stick one of the strands into me and speaks again.

“[Renewing Loci] has gained the skill [Verdant Touch].”

It etched itself into me again and caused the loop to start writhing, wiggling into place and coiling until its shape stopped. It had a kind of twinkle shape with looped strands coming off of it, like a strange flower, but in each direction, side to side or up and down. A star-shaped flower, with shoots of leaves.

That’s cool looking, I assumed it would kind of move into the other skill, I wonder how that works.

“Wow you’re loud, that sounds great I didn’t realize that I could get those,” I said, hands coming up to rub my ears.

“If you’re going that way, you might want to pick up, [Guide Plant] go get plants to move. You can get [Wild Growth] to get them to grow, and [Verdant Sense] to feel them out, like [Sense Stone]. You can cap it off with an upgrade of your aura that can further bolster plant life called [Wellspring of Renewal]. Give them a look, each one upgrades nicely.”

“That might have been the first bit of guidance you have given me little Mrs. [Guide],” I said, my eyes ignoring that, already going to find the skills.

They did what they said on the tin. The first three were Common, two active like [Guide Plant] and two passive. The magic, or mana type or whatever was just plant, along with [Verdant Sense], while [Wild Growth] was plant and life alongside [Wellspring of Renewal] which was Uncommon and was an upgrade to my Common aura skill that I had just gotten.

I looked at the rest of the skills, but she had gotten it spot on, this felt like it might lead to plant magic stuff. Also, a lot of them were really boring. I had skills like [Speak with Plants.] which seemed cool until you thought about it. I wasn’t into the thought of getting bombarded by every blade of grass.

I do need to think about the future… Another thing to think about, I need to just sit around for a few days.

“Ok, I’m ready for it, give it to me,” I told her.

She nodded, removing the skill from me. The words snapped away from me instantly, the knowledge of the skills draining from my head. It made me feel lightheaded.

“Ok then here we go.

[Renewing Loci] has gained the skill [Guide Plant].

[Renewing Loci] has gained the skill [Verdant Sense].

[Renewing Loci] has gained the skill [Wild Growth].

[Renewing Loci] has gained the skill [Wellspring of Renewal].”

Each word was a hammer blow, but blow after blow, the strings folded and folded into me. When they were done, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well, I guess we're done now, so, thanks for the help,” I told her.

She pointed up again, “We still need to give you your next classes dummy.”

I looked back up at the aurora, significantly diminished, but still present.

The aurora was not strong enough to calm me anymore. “Oh no,” I said sotto voce.

“Oh yes!” she said in a rising voice, as she raised her hands and pulled the rest of it inside.

The gnawing got worse again as the light slammed down before getting sucked up by the black fluid. It left the sky much darker, and the black ichor bubbled and frothed.

So much for the aurora, it was nice while it lasted.

“So, while it simmers over there what are you going for with your classes? Because you need to pick those too.” She asked.

Let’s see, I need to get rid of the undead, which means I want a class that can fight. I also need to run around quickly so I need a class that can help with that. It’s mostly forest too, and a rather large one, if I need to go far, I might need to be able to stay outside, at least once I get rid of the fog. And I want magic too which is probably a class on its own. I seriously need to write down what I need to do.

“Are there any classes that can fight, make running through a forest and camping easier?” I asked her.

“Do you want some more stuff? Maybe magic and the ability to fly?” she asks sarcastically.

“Well, I would love that, but that’s for the second class,” I told her.

“Oh, of course, silly me. Sorry, your majesty,” she taunts, “Just a head’s up, your way too weak to fly, but I can give you a starter magic class and one that splits all three of those. It does split its skill selection, however.”

Wait just like that? Holy smokes.

“Why did I pick [Labourer]?” I ask.

“Because you had no money to get arms or armour, no connections to get into a trade, no one to teach you magic, and you didn’t want to run away or become a [Bandit].” She explains.

That does make sense. I’m kind of surprised I made a halfway decent decision. At least I wasn’t a [Bandit].

“Well-chosen me. Now then, please tell me the class isn’t [Bandit].” I asked a little pleading in my tone.

“That’s one of the classes you could pick, the class is rather good, much better than [Woodsman], which becomes [Forester], which is the pre-requisite of [Ranger], which is exactly what you’re looking for. You get a little more and more with each tier, and it’s very flexible.” She tells me, counting on her long fingers.

“Wait, how is [Bandit] that good? That makes no sense.”

She cocks her head to the side, “Kind of obvious, all of their skills and their class are risk versus reward, they have skills like [Most Wanted] which gives them bonuses but it makes literally everyone who hears their name know they're a [Bandit]. I only know of like three [Bandits] that managed to last long enough to get out of their class at your level, and like two of those guys died anyways when they tried to settle down. The last guy became like, [The Brigand King of Elswhere]. While [Woodsman] won’t get you hanged, like everywhere you go.” She explains.

“Wait a Brigand King? Is he like, you know, still alive?” I asked.

“Umm, probably, it was a while ago but with how high of a level he must have gotten to he’s probably still kicking.” She hedged.

“So, the other one is a magic class, right? What are you thinking.” I asked her.

“Well, if you had a full-on magic class and knew what you were doing you could get a novice class, [Novice Druid] for example. But considering you don’t, and you don’t seem to have any spells beyond those two basic ones inscribed, it’s safe to say you haven’t been hitting the books. It’s safest to give you [Apprentice Mage], assuming you want to stay with the person who’s been teaching you?” She explained.

“That’s rather reasonable, can I assume inscribed means I know the spell?” I asked.

She looked at me affronted, “What kind of mentor are they?” She squawked.

“She’s ok, we have a language problem, we can barely carry a sentence,” I said, protesting her characterization.

“Ugh, languages, well at least one of the apprentice skills could help when you get it.” She spoke.

“Really? That’s conven-” I started before being cut off.

There was a great big popping noise from behind me. My [Guide] made motions with her hands and just like the strands they floated over. ‘They’ in this case were two cubes and two more ropes. Much like the other objects they were a phantasm of an object, transparent to my not sight the cubes were about a half foot on the side.

The moment they landed in her hands, the two cubes stacked on one palm, the ropes on her other, she held the familiar ropes out to me.

She spoke her words, and I started puzzling out what class advancement I was going for, while she moved each cube to separate hands, then began to deform them with her hands, or rather her long fingers.

“Any guidance on what to stick these two oh [Guide],” I asked, not knowing what to do with the living nope rope.

“Uhm, if you want, I suppose. First, stick them in your classes, one for each. The Best skill for your second class is [Verdant Thumb], it’s the closest to magic you can get in your current skill set and will give you… a [Verdant Mage] variant based on aura’s, if you used it on the Uncommon skill you would just be a life wellspring, which is less useful for controlling magic." She stopped to think, one finger coming out from the cube on her right to tap her head where a mouth would be. "As for your [Ditchdigger class, I would recommend going for [Last Rite] or [Aura of Soil], [Aura of Soil] will eventually give you something earth related, but it would be a poor excuse for a mage. [Last Rite] will give you a good balance while also giving you Spirit, which you probably want more than Endurance.” She explains ponderously, drifting through her explanation.

“Sounds good, I’m trusting you here, please don’t mess me up,” I asked her.

“It’s fine. I got this. I have never picked a bad skill.” She said, voice heavy with her nonchalance as she moved her finger back to the cube and continued moulding them like putty.

Two lines later and the serpents were constricting and rearranging my insides. Pulling the skills into additional upgraded classes. It was still terribly disconcerting feeling my insides re-arrange.

The lines she spoke?

“Congratulations, your class [Renewing Loci] has evolved into [Verdant Nexus].

Congratulations, your class [Ditchdigger] has evolved into [Grave Digger].

[Verdant Nexus] has gained a level, and is now level 21!

[Grave Digger] has gained a level, and is now level 21!”

This is passing too quickly; I don’t ever want to gain these many levels again. All this levelling is making me woozy.

I don’t know how long I sat there; at some point, I fell onto my knees. Doing all of nothing, just breathing, taking in the motion of the changes in me. Watching the ripples on the floor pass around me.

“Ok, the final step is ready.” She interrupts me.

“Uhh,” I state, oh so intelligently, looking up to my [Guide].

In her hands are two of the core segments thingy's, similar to those of my other classes.

“Don’t worry, this part is easy, then it’s over.” She told me.

I wasn’t exactly all there so I just nodded in stupefaction as she walked towards me and spoke.

“Congratulations, by reaching level 20 you have unlocked two class slots.

Congratulations, you have gained the class [Apprentice Mage]!

[Apprentice Mage] has gained a level, and is now level 1!

Congratulations, you have gained the class [Woodsman]!

[Woodsman] has gained a level, and is now level 1!”

I felt bloated again after she reached in and I felt the two new classes enter me. Each stayed in place even after she pulled her hands out.

“There you go, now you can go ahead and wake up. It’s been a long night,” she said, wiping her brow of non-existent sweat.

“Well, at least this experience is over.” I managed to get out.

“Pft.” She said, waving dismissively, “Saphine, please, you just gained more than five levels in a single day; when you wake up it's going to be like your level four all over again.” She tells me.

I manage to look at her, “Please tell me you’re lying.” I beg.

She starts shaking her head, “Nope, it's back to magical puberty with you.”

“NOO-” I start to get out, half croak half cry, before I suddenly jerked awake from the nightmare that was my level up.

…

…

“Uhh, why?” I manage to get out, blearily parsing the information of the remembered dream as I blearily came too.

“Why, what?” Anna’s voice asks from somewhere in the room.

“Many levels, big bad,” I tell the room, not even able to look at Anna, even though I wanted to.

The ache in my body had soothed only a little. I felt like I had another growth spurt, except it was a full body. I couldn't even cast [Status]

When Anna walked over and gave me a head a pat, with an ear rub though, it was worth it.

I suppose this is at least nice. Aw, man… I never got her name. Or my newly working traits... Oh well, I’ll be back you spirit you, and next time, I'm going to get your name.