The pressure of the grove washed over me, the surety of it around me stripped away the paranoia. Each moment inside of it calmed me, and let me begin to catch my breath. It pulled the weight of it off and replaced it with the familiar feel of security, like coming home and getting a firm hug.

It was disorienting, going from paranoia and the feeling of eyes on the back of my neck to the reassurance that nature was pulling double duty. It was like getting whiplash, but it was a sorely needed whiplash, and it came in the form of a hug. The hug, in this case, was just nature clutching me closely, well… Anna’s magical connection through either skill or spell that projected out and around her home, but the land, nonetheless.

At that moment, it felt similar to how I first came up into the grove all those weeks ago, as stupid as that sounded. I found it hard to tell if it was stronger or if it just felt stronger because I had been afraid, but it was so similar.

Regardless, the presence of it, gave me the surety to stop running, it told me that this place was home and that I was safe here.

I took deep breaths, letting the calm of the grove, the bird song and the rustle of leaves permeate my mind and blow away the fear.

Then, when I had caught my breath, and only then, I looked up.

The grove was largely empty. Most of the animals had apparently said their piece, but the birds had stayed and were merrily chirping, as had the foxes, which sat and watched the sight.

The sight in question was Anna.

She was standing in the grove, a bit wobbly, with birds fluttering around her. They were small things, and danced through the air, whirling around like a clay on a potter’s wheel and taking on shapes. Anna for her part, wobbly turned around, watching them from below.

It was a moment of mesmerizing beauty, her green dress, swirled around her, hiking up at knee height while she walked around barefoot, frolicking. Because that was the only word I could use, frolicking. She was frolicking in the grove, happily whirling around with a smile on her face, flower crown, always on her head flashing her purple flowers as her hair whirled around like her dress.

It was like walking into her grove for the first time all over again. Only this time she was far, far happier than when she sat on her chair.

It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, seeing her happy like that.

Despite what had gone down today, the math, and getting stalked, and seeing the temples with foreign gods on them. Despite what had happened even before that, with me getting glowing eyes and losing my world and everyone I knew, despite everything. In that moment, the feeling made it all worth it.

If I was asked to go through it all over again right now, I would do it. To see that face, to see her smile like that.

I couldn’t help smiling at it, because it was contagious. Maybe it was the mental whiplash, swinging my mind around, maybe it was the comparison to when I first wound up in the grove, and the stark contrast of Anna now, compared to Anna then.

Maybe it was something else, but regardless the look of unadulterated joy on her face lit a fire in my heart. Each and every breath, calmed my frantic fluttering heart, and replaced it with an equal but positive feeling.

Anna looked up at me and waved, gesturing for me to come over, and I did, though I quickly skirted around her and deposited the basket just inside the door to stop some birds from stealing anything. And kicked off my sandals for fun before I walked back out and joined her.

I met her on the grass, and took her hands as she spun around a little; and if her smile was infectious, the moment was too. The swirling birds overhead distracted me and drew my eye from her as they moved in a mesmerizing way, whirling in and out.

She tapped my hand, and I met her eye as she moved, I followed her lead as best as I could. She moved in a kind of dance, though I didn’t know it. I was never much of a dancer, I never practiced.

But with a little help from Anna, I started to learn a bit.

Step forward with my right foot and back. The same but with my left foot, forward and back. Rotate a bit, diagonally, and around we went, once then twice, as she guided me by the hand. Then two times back.

Then she let go of one hand and twirled out and back in. Then she changed how we danced letting go of my hand, moved her hands to my neck.

Of kilter, I let my hands fall to her waist, and we went around again.

The chirp of the birds quieted, and we went around again.

We pressed close, nose to nose. The soft of her elbow practically hooked behind my neck, my arms bowed out to stay strictly on her hip and not stray below. I let her set the pace, desperately following along, and as she put more and more weight on me, I kept as solid a footing as I could to hold her weight as best as I could.

And then, she went to twirl, off time, and without letting go, and all our weight pulled us over. I righted us as we fell, as well as I could anyway; my weight pulled me down faster than her, and as we fell, I took the landing. We rolled sideways, tumbling over until I lay on the ground and Anna on top of me.

My mouth open from a gasp, was capitalized on by Anna.

I heard the Foxes yiping, and I realized something.

Anna was not normally this forward.

I had been following her tune, I had been following her lead. And I hadn’t thought about it for one moment. And she had thrown us off balance, and at a time when I could take the fall. She had planed that.

And my instinct agreed, still present and accounted for from the return trip.

Is she playing with me like a fox? On purpose? Because this is definitely fox like.

The idea bounced around in my head and took a few times too long to register, but it did, right after processing how fast my heart was beating and right before I realized how hot I felt.

Well, if she wants to play, I’ll play.

I took my hands off her waist and carefully twined my legs around hers, slowly to not alert her. And in a heartbeat, I flipped on top of her. My weight rested on my knees to not smush her and, just as importantly, without breaking the kiss.

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, I could feel my face flush while her face flushed, and her hands moved while mine did.

She moved to grip back onto me, and I found her hands with mine, twining my fingers with mine before pressing them into the ground next to her head.

She made a noise of surprise, and I pulled back from the kiss and looked into her eyes as they fluttered open.

Her eyes were wide, reflecting the light of my eyes in the dark of hers like black mirrors. They flicked around wildly.

“Aww, you broke off the kiss,” Anna pouted.

“Have you been talking with the foxes?” I asked her.

“Maybe,” she panted.

“Did they go and tell you about playing? Or was this a dominance thing?” I asked.

She turned her head to the side, towards the chortle yap of the fox couple. Who were no doubt watching us or playing themselves.

“We talked… About stuff. I hope you’re not angry, but they-”

I cut her apology off before it could finish, not angrily, but breathily. My heart was pounding in my chest, my whole body tensed to pounce. My mind was holding my instinct back with less strength than the tip of my pinky finger.

“Anna, I’m not angry, I’m doing my best to hold myself back.”

My sated instincts were wide awake, every ounce of my being wanted to wind around her, press her flat and fuse my mouth to her neck.

Everything but the tiny pinky finger of wisdom I had on my instinct, and maybe my spirit, which listened to my voice of reason and kept me from moving.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I focused on her, my eyes…

And then her head moved towards me as she started talking. The pinky slipped, and I plunged, my instinct, my body, overwhelming my mind.

Today was a day of many good firsts, much like yesterday was a day of many bad firsts. The up to my down, heads to tails.

For the first time that I could remember since I was a child. For the first time in my adult life, they came loose around a friend. Ripping through me like a hurricane, a force of nature that slipped through my fingers like water.

Every part of my body reacted, moving as one thing.

All the senses I kept down slipped through, too, all of them at once. The sounds I so thoroughly numbed snapped to full volume, I could hear her heartbeat and felt it beneath the skin of her neck, pumping blood through her body, I could hear the hitching of her breath as she gasped, the air moving through her mouth, the impacts of our body’s, and the sudden quiet of the foxes. The rustle of the leaves as they fell perfectly still.

My sense of smell picked up everything. The normal human scents, like the smell of skin, and oil, and sweat, each followed by smells that women gave off, some unmentionable in polite conversation. The aromas released when emotions were high started to come off her. Pressed so close to her I could even smell the complexity of her, the balance of each component that made it impossible to pretend to be Anna. Human and mouse, and animal, and me and more. Plants and soil on her hands, the smell of breakfast and the tea she had. Each of the animals she must have pet. I could smell the grass beneath us, the distant smells of the flowers and the lingering smell of rain.

It was a wall of sensation, the totality of which I couldn’t comprehend, that extended beyond my senses and extended to my body, to things like the twitching of muscles that would move a tail that I didn’t have, to minute twitches in my body, to an attempt at a noise that my body couldn’t make.

Everything that made my body and mind different from a human, all moving in concert with one another in a way I never could.

Because it wasn't for me. It was for the instincts that lingered in my blood.

And…

And my head pressed into the nape of her neck and kissed her. Anna’s response died on her lips, and she gasped. My body held hers, my legs and arms. My fingers griping around hers pressing them into her.

I won the fight for dominance, and I took a taste of my prize.

I moved on, nipping her playfully, trying to elicit any fight, any resistance, but she didn’t fight back. I clunk to her, trying to cover every part of her, I smelled her, reading her emotion in her smell, in her posture, and sound. I paid attention to her face. Attempting to read it for emotion.

She was hesitant.

This was to be expected, she was prey. Prey hesitated, while those that had the instinct to protect did not.

I was finished coating my prize from atop, now she smelled more of me than the animals. The prey was still hesitant, hesitant and in need of being reassured. So I leaned in, nipping and kissing but not claiming her, it was not the season, not for either of us, and we were not mates. This seemed to reassured her, my prize, of my intent. She was not my meal but one of mine, something to be played with, kept and cared for, not eaten.

As I reassured her, I wound around her, holding as much contact as was possible, ensuring that my presence was felt, was known, as I moved her to her side.

Prey often found lying on their back to be distressing. My prey was strange in that she was not distressed. It was a sign of her oddity but made her all the more precious. Rare was a prized prey like her that could trust one that could predate her. And she was a [Druid] to boot. She was precious, soo precious, and I would make it known to her just how much I thought of her.

I moved around her, lithe and smoothly, until we were side by side, me wrapped around behind her and leaning in from behind, marking her neck again, but on the opposite side. The prey enjoyed this, and so did I so I did it again, making sure to playfully remind her of what we were doing here.

We were not yet mated; we may be in the future, but for now, it was about understanding us. I tested her, holding her firmly but not to the point of immobility and pulled her hair with my mouth. Did she like it? The scruff of her neck was similar…

She did not, so I let go quickly after giving it a lick, sliding out from behind to lay beside her in her grove.

She turned to me, confused at my playing but ready to move when the voice spoke for us, trying to defuse the situation, calm our breath and suppress our baser urges. We understood the treachery. She was worried… Afraid of herself, of us. Afraid of what made us different, just as much prey as our [Druid]

But what resonated, was that she was worried that this may drive away a future mate.

“Anna, you’re driving me a bit nuts…”

Our possible mate to be however, was not alarmed by our treacherous ‘higher’ instinct and voice of reason. While we moved to her side to apologize for nipping the nape of her sensitive neck, she spoke.

“The foxes mentioned you… A Cousins who walked on two legs… Thought that’s a bit of a translation. They asked if you had played with me yet. I’m not a Kobold or whatever, but you’ve talked about my instincts enough for me to wonder about your instincts.”

Our prize, or catch, was more than precious. She was crafty, canny and clever… She understood, and she wanted to understand us, it was the force of the voice's trepidation alone that stopped us from leaning in to taste her again, to nip at her neck, to further wrap myself around her.

“Anna…”

She shushed our voice as it got, she saw what we knew and couldn’t admit, that were a hypocrite, not out of malice, but out of fear. She saw it, she said it, and the voice took it in.

“You accepted me, you did it just last night, with me being emotional. You’ve been telling me about how mousey I am, about how much I remind you of them and accepted it on the spot. You keep accepting me, but at the same time, you’ve been hiding the same emotions from me. We’re courting, Saphine. We’re trying to get to know one another… trying to see if we work together or drive each other crazy. But you’re hiding a part of yourself. I don’t know why, even if I can guess, but I can’t know if we’re going to work if I don’t understand you,” she told us, though it was the voice she spoke to most of all. We had never hidden ourselves; we had been reaching to show her ourselves, but we had been held back.

She looked at us, and reached forward, reached out to us in the same way we had been reaching out to her. In the same, damn way. Beyond our voices. Beyond our outside and our higher reason, and into us, open for us to show ourselves freely.

“If I have instincts, and you are going to accept me for how I feel, then I will do the same.” She told me, leaning in to whisper to us, “Over the last few weeks, I’ve felt the growing pains that opening up and being near someone for the first time in a very, very long time has brought to me. I’ve felt things I’ve never felt before, and you’ve been my rock, I can come to you with it, and you just accept it. So it’s ok to be open with me, open up, I’m here, do your worst.”

And we wanted to, we wanted to let it all out. I had been quiet for so long, so quiet. There was no need for us. We weren’t a child who couldn’t communicate, who needed to let our mother understand us and socialize us. We were not close enough to others to need acceptance, no mate or family, and we had nothing to defend and nothing to provide for. We had been starved for use, and we had no reason to lift our heads. Content to waste away as the rest of me was too starved for everything it needed, content to lay down and die.

But then we had died and came back to a new world. We had lacked communication with someone we had found, someone we had gotten close to, and we hadn’t opened up. I was starting to have a reason to exist, and a reason to have an instinct.

Anna was experiencing a twin of what I was, with a different cause, sure, a different rhyme, but the same reason. But both of us were starting to feel right again, feel like we belonged again, what we had inside was waking up, ears perking after a long sleep and realizing that we had lost so much of what made us, us below the surface.

As if I could suppress it as I gave it more reason to exist.

Sophia had done some of the lifting, giving me what I needed in preparation for me to make the choices. She had given me everything I needed to make myself better, everything I needed to start making a change in my life for the better if I just reached out for it and started changing myself.

Anna was open on the ground right next to me, inviting me to stop holding back with her. She wanted to understand me deep down like I was trying to understand her and accept me like I accepted her.

I stopped trying to claw back the instinct and worked with it, giving it the voice it so desperately needed, and let Anna see my instinct for what it was… for good or ill.

“I’ll tell you how I feel, as I feel it… Okay? But I’m warning you, it’s a bit more… intense than your instinct.” I told her.

“Shush… Show me.”

And then there were two of us. One who was prey, and predator, one who was predator and prey.

The deer fox, partook in fun, covering the mouse in its sent, and the mouse let it, welcomed it, she was funny like that. It enjoyed the comfort of being held with no option to move, even though the deer fox would. The mouse was played with, tested, tasted and more, and it enjoyed it.

It wanted more, and they both did, and so the deer fox loosened its hold and the play started all over again. The mouse fought back, and that made it all the sweeter because now it could feel enjoyment.

The prize’s playful struggle, only to be held and reassured, warmed it up to the ideas of how it felt. The deer fox showed the mouse all of her, all of the ways she felt, all of her wanting all of the mouse. Showing off how she would be a good choice in mate. The mouse was sure she would be, and so they twined around and around, the mouse in turn, spoke of how she wanted the deer fox, how it felt as she twined it and held it and loved it. The deer fox found new ways for the two to play and new things that made the mouse enjoy playing.

They moved so much animal as a person, and they spoke like it. The mouse and the deer fox. Testing one another. The mouse came to like this quiet a lot, finding small ways to probe the deer fox, finding weak points. The deer fox, for her part, enjoyed these somewhat and found new weak points of her own.

The mouse loved them, loved being held, being pampered, but she found that the deer fox had sensitive ears and that they were weak to nibbles or playful touches. The twitches where the deer fox tried to move her tail, the one that she didn’t have, was another, and she was soothed as the mouse rubbed her belly.

The deer fox, in turn, found that the mouse liked it when she nibbled her ear, though it was nowhere near as strong as her's. She found that the mouse had a weak point, just behind her knee, and that she enjoyed, more than anything else, being held in the deer fox's lap.

They spent the time, almost always close to one another, and as the hour rolled by, they came to know one another closely. The deer fox came to tell the mouse while she was wrapped within her grasp, that she would like it very much if the mouse wanted to be her mate, and the mouse agreed, though she didn’t know how many seasons it would take. The fox told her she would wait until she was ready.

Both agreed on instinct, but the voices didn’t.

They were weighed down, by expectation, and by decency, and by silly things that didn’t matter to either of them but did for the voices.

The mouse's voice told the deer fox that when she was ready, she would tell her, and the fox agreed and the fox's voice was less certain, but the fox's voice would have loved it, and the fox knew it, and the mouse knew it, and the mouse's voice knew it.

And all too soon, it came to an end. The mouse accepted the fox, and the fox felt fantastic, she offered something for the mouse to nibble on, and they had to stop lying on the ground, stop cuddling in the grove, and let their voice guide them to a late luncheon.

The fox felt fantastic, because she finaly felt complete.