8/18 - The Holy Lands - late morning

It's late night, the winds are blowing something fierce. The roads are dangerous to travel in the dark like this, so I decided to just take a rest in an area where I have a good view of my surroundings. Why was I out in the wilderness without anyone besides myself? I left the camp after I was provoked. To be honest, I'm fine with it, that just means I can just rough it out by myself without anyone to restrict me, yeah this is gonna be sweet!

"Yeah, this is gonna be great! I'll be able to do what I want to do!"

The excitement is getting to me, though, I think my stomach might not be all that hyped as it rumbles. I think it might just be time for some hunting. I get on my bike once more and begin to drive on the eerily dark road. The stillness alongside the silence makes driving through the night unsettling, it makes me feel as though someone or something was gonna spring out at me. Suddenly, I went head first off my bike. I break my lunge forward by curling up into a ball. I suffer little to no damage nor did my bike. Bandits came out from hiding with weapons in tow. There's one that has a spear, headband fluttering in the wind, and a jacket with flames on it who seemed to be the head honcho

"Well, well, look what we have here boys, it's the brat from a few days ago. Do you remember me?"

This guy is. . .! He's. . .!

"Who are you?"

"How dare you forget me!? And don't pick your nose in front of me!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, I am a Flame Wraith, the very same that you dare lay a hand on! I am the great 10th division captain, Eadwald!"

"Oh, I remember, I smashed your balls in, right?"

"H-how dare you!? I'll have you know that it took many nights for me to rehabilitate from that attack."

"Right, right, sorry."

"Anyway, it is time to duel, draw your blade!"

"Kay."

I went over to my bike and took my sword out.

"All right let's get this started."

They didn't waste time trading insults, they went for the kill. Of course, countering them was a simple matter altogether. I just moved out of their way and just whacked them all over the head.

"You defeated them already!?"

"Yeah, now it's your turn."

"Well, if that's the case. I will. . .RUN AWAY!"

He escapes into the wilderness.

"Hey, get back here, you bastard!"

I give chase, disregarding any concern for danger. He's pretty fast on his feet for a guy wearing a cape, but I'm still hot on his ass. By the end of the trail, I was greeted with more bandits than the ones that ambushed me.

"Kyahaha! What do you think of my ultimate tactic, the double wave of human shields!"

Did he just openly admit that? "Sounds and looks disappointing."

"Y-you won't be thinking that for very long! Kill him!"

They begin to charge me like a buffalo herd.

"Come on then…!"

I charge at them with no intention to fight them all but to jump on one of their heads, then the next, then the one after that. All in order to drop on top of the spear guy.

"Fool, take this!"

He thrust his spear while I was in the air. I kick the spear aside.

"What!?"

My fist found its mark, I crush his head between my fist and the ground. I turn my gaze towards the thugs behind me.

"Bring it on, you punks!"

…

I desperately take in air. Fighting these batch of bandits was a bit taxing but I was able to pull it off. Yeah, I was able to do it, all by myself.

"I AM THE BEST!" I proclaimed towards the heavens. I was able to do it, I knew I could. Taking out bandits by myself was nothing, nothing at all, yeah!

"..."

After the adrenaline came and gone, a feeling begins to dawn on me, a feeling I was kind of all too familiar with, a feeling that hasn't surfaced in a while. I can't say what it is for certain, but I think it's dissatisfaction. I sit on the ground with my head in my lap. My spirits are at an all-time low, I can't tell why I was so dissatisfied. What the hell, I thought I would feel better after beating this many opponents. So why am I feeling terrible?

"Damn it, this sucks."

I wanted to prove Marie wrong, but how the hell am I gonna do that? I know I got Richard hurt, I know I messed up big time, but I'm trying my best to make up for it, that's why I want to fight as much as I can. I need to improve my skills. If I don't, then I can't protect him, let alone myself.

"Damn it. This totally sucks, this really sucks."

I just sat for a while, sitting as if there weren't bandits In front of me. Something is coming out of the small forest, it was Road Burner.

"Came to pick my sorry ass up? Sorry to keep you waiting then."

Now even my bike was pitying me, this is so lame. That's enough sulking then, time to get a move on. I get on Road Burner and drive off back onto the main road. My destination is clear to me, I decided to go somewhere that I can safely spend the night. I can't go back to camp, not after what happened, so that's why I'm just gonna go somewhere else.

High tree-top camp - late morning

I park my bike right under the platform. My eyes scan the area around the edge of the platform, there's nobody near, so far. That is until a cold steel object is pressed against the back of my head.

"Sup, Puck."

"Why are you here," he asked, obviously irritated by my presence.

"Well, that's kind of a long story, a story that I'm not too interested in telling, but I don't have much of an excuse to share."

"Then why are you here?"

"It's a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Go ahead."

He wasn't saying that in a friendly way of me just getting something off my chest. But nonetheless, I told him why I was here after we climbed up to the platform…

". . .And that's how I ended up here."

"I see, I feel somewhat sorry for you."

"Don't pity me, I don't need it!"

"Kay."

"Damn it, stop accepting things so quickly!"

"Kay!"

Man, it was like my whole story meant nothing to him at all, and after all my efforts to go and spill the beans. It was enough to make a tough guy like me cry.

"Why don't you go back?"

"I can't."

"Why not, they didn't kick you out, so you should be able to just go back there despite you leaving."

"I just can't. I left on my own accord after being provoked."

"That makes no sense."

"You just wouldn't understand, you would if you had to leave this place."

"I won't leave this place ever, I belong here. I wouldn't leave Cade's side no matter what, even if he himself told me to leave, I would stay with him because I belong by his side and nowhere else. You told me you had a friend over there? Why did you leave him there?"

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Because I'm a loner, nothing more or less."

"That's a lie. Loners don't have friends or anyone to care about, so the fact that you have one tangible friend means that you aren't one. So tell me, why did you?"

Wasn't even trying to say a cool line, I wanted to believe that.

"Because I'm. . .Too weak! A monster attacked us while we were taking on a bounty that turned out to be a scam and he got hit with poison. The whole time I was so scared of losing him that I was cursing myself for how stupid I was. In the end, we did save him but it still didn't get rid of the fact that I got him poisoned, it was all my fault, I wasn't strong enough to protect him, or myself. So that's why I left him behind. I need to get stronger to defend us, and I couldn't do that if I was stuck being restricted. So that's why I set out on my own."

But it just wasn't that, I wanted to prove to Marie that I had it in me to protect him and to prove her wrong about me, and yet I ended up dissatisfied with the result.

"Sounds like you're just running away," Puck says, not mincing words.

"Me, running away? Hardly."

"But you are. What if there's a situation where your friend is in danger and he needs your help?"

"He doesn't leave camp too often, so. . ."

"What if your camp got attacked and he got hurt because you weren't there to help him?"

He wouldn't need me since he has Nunnalé there with him, but if that were to happen, then. . .

"Anything can happen, anyone out here in this world can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye, so that's why I'll always stay by Cade's side, even if I'm not adequate enough to protect him, I'll try my best. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to lose him to anyone, nor do I want to lose Wedge or anyone else ever again."

Again?

"What do you mean again?"

"The day when our village got destroyed, our parents were killed by the bandits, and so were the rest of the residence in our village. We would've been killed if Cade didn't help us out of there. After that day, we swore to take vengeance on any bandit that came in our way, and to kill the bandits that killed our parents."

"Oh. . .How's that coming along?"

"We found some that were familiar and dealt with them."

I don't know how to feel about that, I feel that it's justified but I also feel the other side of me doesn't agree with it. But I raised no objections or support towards their decision, instead, I brought up something else.

"Man, you must really like Cade, huh?"

"What?"

He blushed when I mentioned Cade.

"What, why are you blushing?"

"Nothing, just forget it."

"Wait, don't tell. . .you have a crush on him!?"

"What does it matter to you? Isn't it normal for a girl to have a crush!?"

"I mean, yes it is, but it's just so forbidden, and juicy that. . .What?"

"Is it not normal for a girl to like a boy in your world?"

"Huh? A girl? You're a. . .?"

"A girl, I am. You didn't know?"

Of course, I didn't, you look like a boy, how in the hell was I supposed to tell!?

"O-of course I did. A guy like me isn't deceived so easily."

"It's okay, I know I don't look it, I guess I just don't really care to look like one."

Ah, sounds like Lauren, except she actually does despite her laziness. Puck shoots up from the ground.

"Don't tell Cade about any of this, understand me? I'll kill you if you do!"

The fear factor is gone due to the context of the threat; it's kind of cute.

"Don't worry, it's our secret."

She took a deep breath, calming herself.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"Now come on, I'll lend you a spare tent for tonight. I'll make sure to tell Cade that you're here when he wakes up. Whether you stay or not is up to Cade."

She acts like he would say no to a guy like me.

"Lead the way, Pucky."

"Never call me that."

"Gotcha."

High treetop camp - morning

It's the morning after I left camp. Honestly, I didn't wanna part ways with everyone else, save Marie, in the camp, but I chose to leave and I need to stick by it.

"Proxy, are you heading out with me," Cade asked as he came up to me with two cups in hand.

"Huh, you guys are going somewhere?"

I take one from his hand, the juice is pretty strong tasting, but it tastes good nonetheless.

"Yeah, I decided to head out to your camp."

I nearly spit out the juice.

"Why?"

"Cause I've been thinking about something that could help turn the tide of the battle with the bandits: siding with the anti-bandit army."

"Seriously? How do you know about them?"

"Didn't you tell Puck about them last night?"

Oh right, I forgot I did while telling my sob story.

"Anyway, if we merge our forces together, then we'll be a lot stronger for it. Do you think the leader would go for it?"

"Maybe, Alex is an open book, wears his heart on his sleeves type of guy, so he might go for it."

"Great, then we should try to show them some hospitality."

"How are you going to do that?"

"By giving them something, like a weapon from a flame Wraith, and I have the perfect one in mind. Gotta go fetch one from my tent."

Cade ran off after chugging down his drink. I was amazed by how proactive he was to find new opportunities to fight the bandits. Pretty admirable.

"So, you're staying with us for a while Proxy!?"

That loud voice belonged to Wedge - whose voice boomed throughout the camp as if it was against a microphone.

"I'll be here for a good while. Don't worry, I won't get in the way of things here."

"Great, it's good to have another comrade in combat! We shall sweep the battlefield!"

"Yeah, yeah. . .Can you lower your voice by a notch."

"Haha, sorry, I'm just so excited! We get to fight tougher and tougher battles with more allies!"

The dial that was supposed to go down but is jacked up by 100, but I don't really mind it all that much (any higher than there would be a problem). Though, what does that mean for me? Working with the others again would be pretty awkward, especially since I left them. Hell, I wonder what Alex would think about working with someone that joined up with another group?

"All right, I'm ready!"

Cade came back from his tent with a shroud covering a long in length weapon.

"What's that?"

"A gift, I'm sure the leader will like it."

Cade whistled, a group of teens came together.

"All right, we're going to be heading out, make sure to guard the place. Puck and Wedge are in charge, listen to them until I get back. Proxy and I are going to go out and talk to the anti-bandit army's leader to join up in their efforts to eliminate the bandits. By the time we come back, we'll be a lot stronger and one step closer to destroying the bandits for good!"

The kids howl in applause. Cade gives a quick bow for his people. He looks over to me.

"Proxy, you wanna take one bike?"

"Yeah, I'll drive ."

"Let's go then."

We went off to the bikes below us. Truth be told, I feel butterflies in my guts. I wasn't good at awkward situations and going back to the camp is going to be a pretty damn awkward situation. But nonetheless, I'll have to suck it up. This is not gonna be a great housecall.

Anti-bandit camp - morning

We park outside of the camp, Cade is ready to go as I'm trying to think about how I am going into this. I said I didn't care what anyone thought but that was because I was in the heat of the moment. Oh man, this is too uncharacteristic of me!

"Proxy, let's go," Cade calls me over.

"Sure. . ."

Damnit, I guess it's time to do this. Just suck it, man! I keep chanting "keep cool" as we get further and further into the camp, and in the blink of an eye, I'm back in the camp. Someone in the camp pointed out that we are standing in the middle of the entranceway. Attention is coming onto me, like a moth to a flame. I've never been this embarrassed over attention before. I try to find Marie in the crowd but she is nowhere to be seen.

"Proxy, who's the leader," Cade asks me.

"Hm, hang on."

I tried to find Alex. I spot him sitting at the round stone table, all the way in the back.

"There, in the back."

"Cool, I'll go introduce myself. I'll give you time to greet your friends."

"Hey wait, don't leave me behind!"

Cade casually strolls off with his gift leaning on his shoulder.

"Hey, Proxy." Chip approaches me. The both of us didn't speak to the other, he just silently stared at me. He brought something out from a little pouch he has on him.

"Want some of these chips, I got too many."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, eat em."

I grab the bag and open it to taste the chips. I immediately gag on them and spit them out. The taste is truly bitter and saltier than salt itself.

"It's salty."

"It tastes nasty!"

"Really, taste fine to me."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR TASTE IS SHIT!"

How in the hell can he eat this stuff?

"I also heard you left the group."

"I did, I'm sorry, but I needed to."

"It's cool, not like you betrayed us or anything, so it's cool."

I expected him to not be all that mad about me leaving, but the way he said it caught me off guard. Besides that, I walk around trying to find Richard. He was near his tent.

"Proxy," Richard calls as he rushes over to me.

"Hey, buddy."

"We were worried about you!"

"We were indeed," Nunnalé said with the least amount of emotion. Betting Richard told her to say that.

"Richard, Nunnalé, how are you guys doing?"

"We are fine."

"Proxy, listen: you should come back to camp," Richard pleaded.

"No can do, I already made my decision."

"But Marie is sorry about last night, plus it's getting dangerous out there."

"I know, I got attacked last night."

"Seriously!?"

"But it's cool, I beat them all without a problem."

"Why are you treating it as if it's no big deal, you could've been killed."

"Well, I wasn't, so yeah."

"Your behavior is truly foolish," Nunnalé scolded.

"I know what I'm doing, I'm not playing around here, I need to get better, I need to hone my skills through combat."

"Why, why do you have to? Isn't it bad enough that we nearly died because of how recklessly you act? So why do you need to go and pick random fights!?"

Richard isn't holding back anymore, I guess he was getting sick of me at this point. But since he's laying it on thick I should as well.

"It's because you saved me," I told him.

"What?"

"You took a bad blow to the chest for me, a blow that I should've dealt with, and it nearly killed you. If I was better than I was then, I could've made sure nobody had to get hurt, so that's why. I'm throwing myself into fight after fight so I can become stronger, not just to have fun anymore."

I tuck my hands into my pocket and walk off towards Cade and Alex, who are in conversation.

"Somebody told me that I should try my best to protect the people I care about, but as it stands right now, I'm not at my best yet, so that's why I left and didn't take you with me, because I need to do this on my own."

I left Richard to go back to Alex and Cade. I think that was the first time that I let myself show weakness in front of him.

...

"But Proxy, we're friends, of course I would help you."