It was a brief expression, nothing more. There one moment, gone the next, like a passing glance on the street. But to Viktor, it was more than enough. A moment of hesitation before the shamanka proceeded with the news of his unborn child. It was immediately wiped away with a smile, but it was enough to set off a deep underlying alarm bell.
“It’s a girl, Mr. and Mrs. Morigold! Congratulations!” The shamanka, named Tara, still had the same overly cheerful smile plastered on her face, overtly trying to hide any underlying reactions or emotions.
“W-wow… Isn’t this amazing, Viktor? Our own baby girl, like you always wanted!” Avalia had a truly beautiful smile, yet it was distinctly overshadowed by the subtle wince from Tara at the word ‘Our’.
“I… have no words. Is the baby healthy, Tara? Please don’t sugarcoat it, you’ve worked with my family for years, you know I can handle it.” Viktor hoped he was just seeing things, that maybe the baby wasn’t perfectly healthy and he was just looking into it too much.
“Perfectly healthy, sugar. Not a single health issue from everything I can detect, right down to her bloodline and anything she might inherit. Take my word for it, I’ve done this for years, hon.” Tara looked Viktor dead in the eyes as she said all of this, and it didn’t take an idiot to read between the lines.
A tear formed in the corner of his eye; Viktor let it fall freely, knowing Avalia would misunderstand. She never paid that much attention to how he felt in any case.
Just like he figured, Avalia neither looked in his direction nor even pretended she cared. She simply kept asking Tara various questions about the baby, which were plainly answered while glancing in Viktor’s direction in concern. Yet Avalia continued as if he wasn’t there, totally unaware of when he got up and walked away.
He left through a side door that led directly to Tara’s office from the outside and promptly pulled out a cigrin with shaky hands. He hesitated as he brought it to his mouth however, a memory floating unbidden to the forefront of his mind. The day he had swapped to cigrins.
Viktor had just arrived home from his shift as a guard. As soon as he walked through the door he saw Avalia sitting by the kitchen counter, tears streaming from her eyes as she held an odd pink strip in her hands. Viktor’s eyes had gone wide as the realization dawned on him, recognizing what the pink colored strip signified. Without a word he tossed his lit pipe on the counter, ran out to the nearest corner store, and picked up a pack of cigrins.
He still remembered the tagline when he had picked them up; ‘Smoke them and you’ll be left with cinders and a grin.’ They were intended as a healthy alternative to pipe smoking, as the energies used to produce them actually left one healthier after smoking them while ensuring they wouldn’t feel withdrawals from addictions.
He then ran back home and slapped them onto the counter next to Avalia, causing her to look up in shock.
“I refuse to leave that child’s life early because of my stupid decisions. I’m done killing myself.” Viktor had a wide grin on his face that slowly faded when he saw her expression was sorrowful.
At the time Viktor had believed it was because she was worried about the financial costs or perhaps even doubts about the child, but now… Now he knew the truth.
He angrily bit off the end of the cigrin, releasing the energy to light it, and took a long, hard drag. He started off smooth, but by the end was struggling to hold the smoke in as tears streamed down his face. He lowered his hand as his entire body was taken with choking sobs, hacking up smoke as he released shuddered breaths.
“Why? Didn’t I do everything right? I work every day to protect us, I bought us our home, I made sure you don’t have to work a day in your life unless you want to. So why isn’t it enough?” He took another long angry drag, doing his hardest not to hack again as he exhaled as smoothly as he could manage.
Viktor walked away with blurry vision, cursing the world for granting everyone such a beautiful day. The midday sun cast its blue rays through a cloudless sky. An elderly couple sat on a bench in a park across the road, laughing and enjoying memories Viktor wouldn’t get. A ball bumped into his foot, which he promptly picked up and tossed to a little girl with a guilty face. He didn’t understand how they could all go about enjoying their day. They had no idea that the world, as he knew it, was over.
He continued his somber walk, holding back tears with heavy drags on his cigrin. He continued on until he reached a particular house, knocking twice on the front door. He waited patiently until he heard small feet patter up to the other side of the door, then wiped the tears from his face as best he could.
The door opened to reveal a little boy no older than 5. He looked up at Viktor panting lightly, having clearly run to the door before anyone else could. Viktor sighed as he saw how pudgy the boy was getting, for he knew just how much his parents spoiled him, though he was still a sweet boy.
“Hello Elias, could you p-” Viktor paused to clear his throat as tears threatened to spill over again. “Could you get your father, please?”
“Ok Misser Morigold! Daddy, Misser Morigold came to visit! He looks sad.” Elias shouted all of this while running off, twice nearly tripping on his untied shoes.
As Viktor watched Elias running off tears broke out in full force. He covered his mouth to quiet his hitching breaths as he broke down completely, sitting with his face in his hands on his best friend’s front steps. He wouldn’t get to have a little girl running around his home causing trouble, to take to her first day of school, to show right from wrong. None of that, all because he wasn’t good enough to keep his wife’s love.
“Viktor, aren’t you supposed to be-” Stefan had finally arrived at the front door, wordlessly picking Viktor up by an arm and pulling him inside.
Stefan walked with him to the living room, seating him in front of a coffee table before walking off. In the distance Viktor could vaguely hear him tell Elias not to come in, but he wasn’t quite focused. His vision was still blurry as he stared down at a red carpet with a growing wet spot.
At that moment Stefan walked in with two glasses and a bottle of bedlam, so named for its tendency to cause utter bedlam and knock out lightweights. He then placed a glass down in front of Viktor and filled it before sitting across from him with his own full glass, leaving the bottle between them. Viktor immediately downed the glass before grabbing the bottle and drinking directly from the source. It burned going down, but it was preferable to the chills going across his entire body.
“Tell me what happened. I was hoping you’d come to me much happier, but I can see that isn’t the case.” Stefan took a sip of his own glass, hissing afterwards. He wasn’t a drinker, but he also wouldn’t leave Viktor drinking alone.
“She’s not mine, Stefan. The baby isn’t mine.” Viktor was staring down at the carpet muttering, knowing once he said it he couldn’t take it back.
“What? A-are you sure? How did you even find out.” Stefan leaned in closer, most likely to hear Viktor better.
“Tara hinted at it. She couldn’t say it with Ava there, but it was obvious what she was trying to say. Cosmic, I don’t think Ava even noticed I left.” He sighed heavily, no longer able to muster the effort to even cry.
“Wow.” Stefan sat back in his chair, taking another swig of bedlam before putting his cup down in disgust. “What do you plan on doing? Do you know who she cheated with?”
Viktor paused at those words. He couldn’t say he knew with absolute certainty, but a suspect immediately came to mind.
“Captain Shavoss.”
“Captain Shavoss?! How would he have met her, he doesn’t even know most of us. He’s our company leader for Cosmic’s sake.” Stefan leaned forward again, refilling his glass upon hearing the insane accusations.
“It was at the party to celebrate our pay raises last year. He’d eyed us from across the hall, which I still don’t know how he did with everyone dancing between us. But I guess the bastard just couldn’t take his eyes off my wife, because next thing I know he’s right in front of us. I introduced Avalia and myself, but he hadn’t so much as looked at me the whole time. We start having a conversation about different stuff, like what we do as guards and she talks about our plans to move into a new place. Seemed harmless, so I went to get us more drinks. Lo and behold, I look over from where I am and they’re laughing about something, she has her hand on his arm and he’s clearly looking down the front of her dress. You know Avalia, she’s beautiful, but I wouldn’t say she’s the most beautiful woman to ever exist. Stefan, when I tell you Shavoss was looking at her like there was no other woman in existence, I mean it.” Viktor paused to gulp from the bottle for at least three seconds before slamming it back down, sloshing some onto the table. “So I walked over there all casual with two drinks and hand Avalia one. Then she did something I swear hasn’t happened to me since I was a damn teenager. She says, ‘Oh, why didn’t you get a drink for yourself too? You should go back and get another one.’ And she grabs my drink and hands it to Shavoss, barely even looking at me. I wasn’t about to cause a scene in front of my superior officer, but you can bet I wanted to. You know how it works, we’re nobodies to Captains. Just another guard, another grunt, another cog in the machine. But that was the first time Avalia ever made me feel like I was a nobody to her.” At that point Viktor was crying profusely, his words slurring as he tried to drink himself into a coma. “Ever since then, she barely ever notices me. The passion is gone. And I’ve been trying to bring it back, I really have. Despite the distance between us I still love her with all of my heart. But this was it, the nail in the coffin. If this isn’t a sign she no longer loves me, I don’t know what is.”
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“Vik, I… I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’d do if I found out Elias wasn’t mine. I’d probably kill the man Tara cheated on me with, if I ever got the chance.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Stefan’s eyes went wide as dinner plates. “What am I talking about, I’d never do that. Ridiculous. And hey, just because it’s over between you doesn’t mean your life is over. You can move past this Viktor, you can start again. I’ll be here every step of the way.”
“Th-thank you Stefan. Can you walk me home? I feel like I’d get trampled if I went alone.” Viktor’s eyes were mildly glazed over, his words barely registering even to him.
“Sure, just wait here a moment. I need to go next door and get Bethany to look after Elias while we’re gone. Don’t go anywhere while I’m gone, you’ll hurt yourself.” With that, Stefan got up and left the room, calling out to Elias in the distance.
Viktor sat there patiently, waiting for just the right moment. As soon as he heard the front door close he dragged himself out of the chair while pawing for the half empty bottle of bedlam.
“Gah, Urrive is terrible, Stefan. Why don’t you-” Viktor slapped a hand to his mouth as his liquid lunch threatened to come up, only moving it when it felt safer. “Urgh, that’s why Pherri is better. Never had that happen with a bottle of Pherri, I can promise that.” The room was silent in response to his complaints.
Viktor began the process of shambling drunkenly to the stairs, leaning fully on the railing as he walked his way up. After falling forward only twice, a new record, he made it to the top, where he promptly walked into Stefan and Tara’s room.
Upon entry his nose was assaulted by the smell of cinnamon and vanilla. At that point he did actually throw up, the personally hated smell of cinnamon too much for him. He did always tell Stefan that eventually the smell would make him throw up, to which he’d respond, ‘Then don’t go in our room.’ Sound logic, so he never argued the point, though he was sure they’d change the scent now.
In any case, Viktor stumbled over to the dresser and pulled out a small combination lockbox. Without even thinking, he put in Elias’s birthday, day, year, and month, and the lockbox popped open. He paused, tears in his eyes. It was such a stupid, small thing, but he sincerely wanted to put his daughter’s birthday as his lockbox combination. It was so stupid he hadn’t even thought about it, and yet now he couldn’t help but cry over it.
He removed the spiritgun, which was a revolver he didn’t know the model of, from the small box. He banged it over and over against his forehead as he sat there, wondering if he really wanted to go through with it. He took one last look at the lockbox and made up his mind. Normally he would’ve thought it was such a silly reason for a man to die, but his drunken mind had no such qualms. With a sigh, he got up and left the room, his mind made up. Shavoss deserved what was coming to him.
Viktor walked out of the room and hung a left, heading to the window at the end of the hall. He then opened it and looked down, finding what he was looking for. A decently sized yuvaberry bush was directly beneath it, though it was quite a ways down for two floors. Without a second thought Viktor dropped out of the window, landing in the bush with only a rustling of leaves and a spike of pain. In his drunken stupor he had forgotten that yuvaberry bushes had thorns, leaving him bleeding profusely. Luckily for him, Bethany had her laundry hanging in the backyard, and he didn’t think the consequences for using the clothes as bandages would matter in the grand scheme.
He limped his way over, a particularly nasty thorn in his left foot, and grabbed various articles of clothing before hopping away on one foot. Apparently he had been in Stefan’s house for quite a while, for the sun was just setting, leaving the sky a deep purple and allowing him to steal away in the gloom of late evening. It seemed no one noticed as he left.
* * *
Finally, after about 20 excruciating minutes, Viktor had both arrived home and gotten the thorn out of his foot. Now he could really kick his plan into action. He hobbled over to the kitchen window as quickly as he could manage, but found that the light was off. Unfortunate. He then hobbled around to the front, taking as much care as a drunk man could to be quiet.
He peered in through the living room window before promptly tossing himself into a nearby bush. The front door had opened the moment he walked up. Avalia walked out not long after, wearing a simple sundress and brown wedges. Odd combination in his opinion, but what did he care at that point.
Her eyes scanned in all directions, pausing in particular on the bush, before walking off, her heels clacking into the distance. Once he felt she had gone far enough Viktor dragged himself from the bushes, pausing to remove a twig from the barrel of his revolver, then followed her into the night. There was something off about a guard stalking his wife into the night, but Viktor was too drunk to think about that.
He followed her for a good 5 minutes before she suddenly turned into an alleyway between a medicinal shop and a tailor. He then sidled up to the edge of the alleyway and peeked in, having to catch himself on a sill to avoid falling.
“Hi Gunther, I realize it’s strange for me to have called you out here so late. I just... wanted to tell you something.” Avalia sounded hesitant, as if the news hung heavy on her shoulders.
“Tell me what, Avalia? Will you finally explain why we haven’t met in over a month. I’ve missed you, your husband be damned. I’d ship him off to die if you’d let me, but you still care for some reason.” Gunther Shavoss was many things, a kind man was not one of them. Avalia seemed to be the only exception.
Avalia moved in and hugged him tightly, an action Shavoss reciprocated after only a moment’s hesitation. Meanwhile, Viktor had a white-knuckled grip on the revolver, only waiting to make sure he wasn’t wrong, though at this point he doubted it. He had to further restrain himself as tears spilled over when she looked up and kissed him directly. It wasn’t even a quick peck, like the kind she gave Viktor before he left for work. No, this was a kiss of intense passion, where they tightly squeezed each other and wouldn’t back away before the other did. Viktor began to pinch his right wrist, something he did when his emotions started running away from him.
It finally ended when Avalia gently pushed Shavoss back, looking him in the eyes as she did so.
“Cosmic I’ve missed you, Gunther. You make me feel… alive. Like I actually matter, and I’m not just a housewife to a lowly guard.” She looked like she was only barely holding back from throwing herself into his arms again. Viktor continued pinching with more intensity, giving his all to not jump out right then.
“I missed you too, pet. You mean the world to me, and I really mean that. My villa still feels painfully empty without you around. Please reconsider your decision to stay, pet, I don’t think I can handle it anymore.” Shavoss looked at her with pleading eyes that could rival a puppy’s.
“I…” Avalia bit her lip in silence. Viktor wanted to throw himself at her feet and beg with her not to leave at that moment. Instead he waited, pinching his wrist aggressively. “I don’t know, Gunther. Besides, that’s not why I’m here. I have other news.”
“What is it, pet? I’ll be with you through anything, I promise.” Shavoss looked down at her with a much more serious expression, perhaps even more than when he acted as a Captain.
“I’m pregnant, and... she’s yours.” Avalia looked down at her feet, clearly fearful for his response.
“What?! That’s… that’s wonderful news! You have to move into my villa now! Oh, pet, it’ll be wonderful, we can start a real family together. We don’t have to run around behind your husband’s back anymore, or hide ourselves from our families.” Shavoss had the widest grin Viktor had ever seen across his face, without a doubt even wider than when Avalia had agreed to marry Viktor. At that moment he pinched too hard and ripped off a small chunk of skin.
Without any further hesitation, Viktor jumped into the alleyway, holding the revolver up to both of them. They quickly turned to face him in shock, though from their faces they didn't immediately recognize him. His bleary eyes made it so he could hardly tell when Shavoss had moved in front of Avalia, though it only served to anguish Viktor further.
“Why, Ava, what did I do to deserve this? Was I not a good enough husband?” Viktor shouted in half choked sobs, beyond trying to keep himself under control.
“What-Viktor?! What are you doing!? Is that a spiritgun?!” Avalia was screaming at Viktor, barely concealing how absolutely terrified she was.
“Morigold? What the fuck is wrong with you!? If you have a problem with me, then come after me, but she’s pregnant for Cosmic’s sake.” Shavoss stepped in front of her as he spoke, ensuring she was out of harm’s way.
“Oh good for fucking you, you care more about my fucking wife than I do!”
“Yes, I clearly do, you psychopath! What kind of maniac pulls a gun on his own pregnant wife!?” Shavoss took a step forward, immediately retracting it as Viktor cocked the hammer.
“Don’t you try and take the high ground on me, you’re the one who stole my fucking wife from me!” Viktor slowly walked further into the alleyway, though he made sure to keep some distance.
“I barely even had to try, Morigold! Sure, you paid attention to her, but you clearly don’t see her as attractive! Of course a man who genuinely cares for her will take her away! Name one damned thing you find attractive about her!”
“I…” Viktor paused, and not just because of his alcohol-addled brain. He was in shock, but he sincerely couldn’t think of one thing he found attractive about her. He couldn’t even remember her eye color.
“Exactly. You knew this relationship was dead for years, but you strung her along because you wanted a family, and you didn’t care who gave it to you. Face it Morigold, you’re a piece of shit and you know it.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
With that, Viktor pulled the trigger, shooting Shavoss perfectly in the chest.
“Oh Cosmic, no! Gunther!” Avalia fell to her knees by Shavoss as Viktor let the gun clatter to the floor. She pressed her face up to his, tears pouring onto his face. “How could you!? Gunther, stay with me, please! I’ll move in with you! Anything for you, I’ll spend my life with you! Just please, please don’t leave me!”
Tears streamed down Shavoss’s face as with the last of his strength he pulled Avalia in and kissed her before speaking. “I love you, please don’t ever forget that. I just... have one request.”
“Anything for you, Gunther. Anything.” Avalia was bawling at this point, tears pouring like rivers.
Shavoss was overtaken by shudders at this point, every word a clear struggle. “Call her... Cornelia. I-it’s my grandmother’s name. I… I promised I’d name a daughter after her. And please, d-don’t stop living for me. F-find someone that makes you happy. All I want is you girls’ h-happiness.” Afterwards he began hacking and wheezing, blood dribbling from his lips. Then, after a moment, stillness. Shavoss was gone.
Viktor merely stood there, unflinching and unmoving. He could hear the clattering of hooves fast approaching, but made no moves to run. He knew the consequences for what he’d done, and he was fully ready to accept them. Without hesitation, he kneeled on the ground with his hands behind his head.
The authorities rapidly apprehended him and shackled his wrists and ankles. He didn’t even wince as they tightened the manacles onto the gash on his wrist. He deserved everything that was coming to him.