The next morning at 10AM had me in the Communications Center. I'd never actually used the booths that were set up there for cross-dungeon conferences, but under the circumstances, this was where I wanted to be to have a real chat with Harry. Louise had decided to come along, and given that she knew my secrets now, more or less, I didn't object. Once the two of us were in, though, the door was locked and the room was, as far as I could tell, otherwise secure.

The booth had my "contacts list" as it were as soon as I stepped in, and Louise's as well, but I was able to zero in on Harold Spongecake instantly. It was grayed out until about two minutes before, but I gave him the extra time in case he was setting something up on his side, and only contacted him on the hour.

The whole room became a kind of virtual space when we connected, with Harry and... was that the same Priestess who had accompanied him to the jail? E...something? It was hard not to remember the pink mohawk, even if her hair was a mess right now. The two of them were basically holograms, full-bodied, along I assume with everything else that was in the room. The quality was fine; they were a little translucent, but there weren't Star Wars-esque scan-lines or anything over them, which was almost a disappointment. Harry, for his part, looked calm, maybe a little grumpy, but he seemed as uninterested in whatever I was probably going to say as he could be as soon as he laid eyes on Louise.

I figured I could distract him. "I got a quest from the Administrator here to kill a Dungeoneer that went into a Fairy Dungeon and came back a slave to the Fairy Queen. So, I have some questions."

His eyes snapped to me when I mentioned 'Kill a Dungeoneer' and didn't move until I was done, plus another twenty seconds. "What questions."

"Mostly, the Ad--the Quest gave me an item that she insisted would help, a Fairy Gem. My class insists I can absorb it, though it will take a lot of time to do it, but--"

"As far as I know no Fairy Gems have been opened, successfully," interrupted Harry. "I can't tell you anything about what will happen."

I frowned for a long moment, and then a pained expression crossed my face, one that an outside observer might have thought was overdramatic, perhaps deliberately so. Harry saw the pained expression, figured out what I was thinking immediately, and rolled his eyes.

"...let me ask." Harry grabbed what was obviously another portable message item and poked at it for a moment, and then put it away. "When he gets back to me I'll let you know. Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, kinda." My Herman-face faded as I was able to force my thoughts back to the problem at hand. "So as I said, the person who I have to kill is someone who managed to get into a Fairy Dungeon. I'm... I'm usually pretty confident about being able to kill someone of similar level, but..."

"Yeah, that sounds like a hard case. You want information on him?"

"If there's anything that we can get. I'd also like help getting together a team that's... not normal people, just in case. I mean, maybe I'll be required to duel him, but if I can avoid that..."

Harry nodded. "Is there anything--hold on." He pulled back up the item and raised his eyebrows. "Kamau says he can get to a Comm Center in about an hour. That's actually pretty fast for someone of his level."

"He's--"

"Yes, he's the large black man you met." Harry put the messenger back down and pulled out a large notebook from his inventory. "Is there anything else you can tell me about the incident, quest, or the Dungeoneer?"

I pursed my lips and tried to think back on the birdman's various ramblings. "He--sorry, the questgiver--used the term Lost Soul, which I know is a system tag. He said the Fairy Queen has the guy's soul... something about not seeking ...Ascension? He actually said a bunch of things that made no sense in context--"

"Jerry." Harry stepped forward so his projection was uncomfortably close to me. "If a questgiver says things that make no sense, it is the Administrator trying to tell us parts of a puzzle that they can't say directly. If you can remember anything at all about that conversation, no matter how silly, please tell me."

I snapped my fingers, recalling something odd. "He said, Administrators may be bound to ...something, serve or assist, mankind, but faeries are not. Something about who is and who is not a real enemy."

Harry took notes on this, but nodded. "We already have a lot of hints in that direction. Anything else?"

"Yeah. I asked specifics on the guy and the answer was really strange. He said the man's name was stolen so he had none, and..." I tried to remember the exact words. "When I asked his class, he said the guy was a true Fool, and had none. I could swear I heard a capital letter on the word, but not the system tag thing."

Harry looked at me for a moment, then seemed to force himself to write that down. "Well, good and bad news. I know exactly who the Dungoneer you're going to be facing is."

Which meant that the bad news was that he was crazy powerful. I let out a breath through clenched teeth. "And?"

"He really had no class. It's a thing that's more popular in some parts of Asia, but very rare over here. Instead of using the Class system, you can just use experience points to increase your stats directly. I think they call it Cultivation or something strange like that. I don't have those notes with me."

I felt the color drain from my face. I'd once or twice done something similar, but I had mostly convinced myself it was a waste of time. Maybe... maybe it deserved more looking into. "Experience points used like that can't contribute towards a level."

"Right."

"And he was at least level 30 to enter the dungeon."

Harry just nodded.

"FUCK me."

"The good news is that Cultivation, or whatever, apparently takes a lot of time and experience both, and it gets harder to do as your stats increase. Also, as far as I know, they don't actually get Features or Skills from the system, at least, not as we know them. But Bo--that's his name, unless I am thinking of someone else--Bo was a martial artist, so he's not going to be a pushover."

"Fuck me sideways." I had my pride in my ability to fight, but it was always tempered by one thing--I never learned properly, and a lifetime of movies if nothing else told me that someone who knew fighting could mop the floor with someone who didn't... though, of course both Hollywood and the Chinese martial arts filmmakers were exaggerating in the name of good fiction. Still, if he had a strong foundation plus massively increased abilities... "What about resistances to System effects? Do you think that's what did him in, in the Fairy Dungeon?"

Harry gave a grunt. "I don't know what his resistances are--there are stats that contribute to them--but I doubt that's what did him in. Fairy dungeons are scary and confusing as hell, but my understanding is that when you enter a Fairy Dungeon you get a bunch of options. Most of those are shortcuts that let you try to make a connection to another Dungeon, and that's hard as balls but it's been done. The other option is for you to try to kill a Fairy Queen, and nobody-but-nobody has ever accomplished that. And yes, like with Bo, at least one of the people who fight and lose always comes back as an enemy, no matter their level or equipment." Harry grit his teeth. "Most of the high level monsters aren't interested in trying that anymore. Partly out of fear, but mostly because we don't think that's the answer to the big fucking riddle of exactly why the hell the Dungeons are here."

Louise and I exchanged glances. "We, uh, had a conversation with the Administrator about that."

Harry stopped and glared at me for a long moment, I guess thinking that I was holding back on him rather than just disorganized. Louise nodded, adding, "I was there for that. It was strange." She closed her eyes and seemed to concentrate, and when she spoke, I could swear that she spoke with the Administrator's own voice:

"This is the deal we offered Humanity: Access to the [ Dungeon Key ], and in return, once you had learned how to use it, once humanity had proven that it could adapt to the key, once they proved that they didn't need to be hand-held, we would be free."

I was a little shocked that apparently Louise, in addition to being able to truth-tell, was given the ability to perfectly recall things. "She also said something about the Full Clear quests. Louise--"

She nodded, and spoke in my voice, and then the Administrator's. "So the Full Clear quest is to prove we don't need the Dungeons anymore? No. Ah, haha. They'd be so mad if I told you. No, that's different. Ha, haha. Ha, ha ha."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Hearing the voice again, especially through Louise, gave me the shivers, and I was somewhat mollified to see that Harry seemed to have the same reaction.

I shook my head, then snapped my fingers. "Also, as long as you're writing things down, uh, this was of particular importance to me as an individual but apparently some psychics and/or mediums from the old world, you know, before... that was just completely legit, as confirmed by the Administrator. That is to say, that ghosts were a real thing, and the ability to detect them was... not all madness. So some people who may feel stigmatized should... not."

Harry stopped his writing as I spoke, and gave me a very long look that was difficult to parse. "The System doesn't recognize those people at all."

"I know!" I threw up my hands. "But literally the moment I said that out loud in the dungeon, the Administrator, who I guess was paying attention to me, made something appear that only..." I glanced at Louise, who nodded. "...only people with, I guess, ESP or ghost sight or something could sense. But it wasn't dungeon-enhanced, either. It was the same old bullshit it used to be. I could sense something, but it wasn't clear."

"That... is interesting. Not immediately useful, but I'll make a note of it. The Association will look into it."

"She also said," interrupted Louise, "that because his mind was prepared, um, by having been exposed to ESP, or by having had ESP, that some of his skills were better as a result, like his Telekinesis. She said something about True skills not granted by the System."

I wasn't sure I wanted to bring that up, but then, I'd been shy about talking about it until recently. Harry seemed to take it in stride, up until the Capital Letter, which he also seemed to hear. "True?"

"That led directly into her speech about the Key and the deal with humanity," I added quickly. "The Dungeon skills are artificial, and they're expecting us to get good enough to no longer need them, or something like that."

The other woman, the Priestess that was with Harry... was it Eliza? She suddenly spoke up. "So humanity is supposed to no longer depend on the system, but a guy who doesn't have a class is a capital-F Fool?"

Something about that made me frown as I tried to remember something else I'd heard. Harry asked something, but I missed it. Was it the Administrator who said something--no, it was the birdman. He said...

"Oh." I stopped. "Har--uh, the quest giver. He said something like... 'Like me' the... uh, the Slave Dungoneer, was 'Walking the path of the Expert'. Like, maybe-capital-E Expert."

"So a Fool is another word for Expert? Or a specific kind?" Eliza scrunched up her face. "Seems like a rude thing to call someone if that's what you want people to do."

"Specific kind..." Harry nodded all of a sudden, looking more energetic than he had. "Yes... yes, I have definitely seen that in the Ruins. There were seven; the Wizard, the Saint, the Fool, th--OW!" He was interrupted by Eliza, who smacked the back of his head. He looked at her, and she gestured meaningfully towards us. He considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "Right... I'm not supposed to talk about that. Maybe I can get you clearance, later, if you survive."

"Believe me, Harry, I have more than enough on my plate as it is," I said with a laugh. "And goodness knows I have my own secrets."

We spent a little more time trying to eke out clues from what I'd already been told, until finally Kamau joined the call. The big black man that appeared in the room was far more intimidating than when I'd seen him in a conference room, mostly because of equipment. He was decked out in full plate armor that was the very definition of the phrase "bristling with black spikes," his helmet was the skull of a devil complete with horns, and his arms had razors up and down them, ending in flaming gauntlets. The only really odd choice of equipment was a pair of bunny slippers, but as far as Dungeon equipment went, I could absolutely see that being a highly practical choice for a variety of plausible reasons. Alternately, they just might be the most comfortable footwear he had; either way, I wasn't going to make fun of him.

"Hello, Harold. And you, Mr. Applebee." Kamau raised his chin at me. "You had questions about Fairies."

I decided to just pull out the item, since only Louise could actually reach it. "This is--"

"A fairy gem. You're awfully low-level for such an item." He knelt down to take a closer look at the projection of the item. "We've never seen a way to open them. Herman says that they are pure, a newborn Fairy soul sealed in raw mana, but he doesn't know what ability to use to extract them."

"My class says that I can do it," I offered, watching the big man's head snap up towards me, "but it will become a Class Feature. I don't--"

"Hold on, I'll bring him out." Kamau clapped his hands, and before I had a chance to warn Louise, there he was.

He was... he was Herman. He was still Herman. I didn't... I didn't want to think about it very hard, but he was still Herman. The multiple sets of pants, the mask, the torn fighting gi, the fishnet gloves... he even had the teacup clutched nervously in his hands.

"Yes? Oh, hello again, and you sir, good day." Herman's little spider feet scurried as he turned to Harry and then to me, seeming to clue into the context instantly. "Oh, I see you have a Fairy Gem. Well, that's great then. I suppose once you have that open we'll be able to get started on this project for real. Shame about the last one, but you look like you can manage."

"I--uh." Herman's immediate and sincere observations completely derailed my train of thought, since that really wasn't the question I wanted to ask. Even knowing he would be here, even trying... perhaps futilely, to prepare, I just... no, I could do this. I could. "I... Herman, I need to ask you a question."

The spider fairy with too many clashing items flapped his graveyard-decorated wings and brought his clown mask up to my face, massively muscled hands nervously tapping his teacup against its saucer. "Yes?"

"I have to fight someone who fought and lost against a Fairy Queen. I want... some assurance that the only reason why he is..." More than any creature I had ever met, this little fairy intimidated me more than I could possibly understand, and I just couldn't think straight while he was staring at me. "...um, a slave, is because... he did that, and that--"

"Yes, I'm sorry, I know you're all rather poorly informed on the subject. His fate was sealed when he challenged a Fairy Queen. We do have our pride on matters like this, and that's just how we handle things." Herman's head tilted. "If you're worried about the item, don't be. It's a very generous gift, not a--oh, what's that famous trap, Kamau? You mentioned it once." Herman pivoted in midair to the vast spikey black man.

"Trojan horse." Kamau seemed unaffected by the fairy, as always. He almost seemed introspective, if I had to put a word to it.

"That." Herman pivoted back, and moved entirely too close, his clown mask filling my vision. "As a bound Fairy, it will become a part of your magic and, well, I won't say only good things happen after that, but it's more good than bad. Honestly, although we'll fight a lot once your kind get out of the first phase, right now we're really just interested in seeing you succeed. We won't have a chance to take over your planet at all until... well, I suppose when the first Path is beaten?"

"Herman..." Kamau's voice was grouchy, but not threatening. Doubtless, he couldn't threaten the strange little fairy, but if he could I doubt he'd want to try. Herman looked over at him, but didn't seem to understand.

I interrupted instead, after backing off a step to get my nerve back. "But why is he... why is he tasked with killing people? Our people?"

"The Heretic Knight?" I frowned as Herman rattled of a title that I'd heard the Birdman use before. I'd thought it was just poetic at the time. In any case, the Fairy seemed to be quiet comfortable with the term. "I suppose that looks bad from your end, but really, we're just using you to fight against the Dungeons. It's unhealthy for us to be locked up in there. They used your--well, your quest target, I suppose, to force open the entrance and take control over an area. Unfortunately, the laws of the Dungeon make him into the new boss of that region, and there's nothing we can do about it, not until you free the Administrator."

"They live parasitically off the Dungeon," interrupted Kamau. "That's why their ways join different dungeons together. This is all far beyond your Level, Applebee, but suffice it to say that the Fairy race are looking out for their own well-being in most of what they do. That includes sacrificing a few of their children to help us along in our quest to defeat the Dungeons."

There were too many questions. I tried to summarize. "So... if I can... bind myself to this Fairy, it won't cause any problems, and also, it will help me defeating the... Heretic Knight?"

"Well, it won't really help with the fight much. It will be a very young Fairy, after all." Herman's head tilted at an odd angle. "But it will help you steal more answers from the System, and I think that will help your people.  We're all for that. There's still a decent chance your entire culture will be eradicated, after all, and we don't want that."

I don't think there was anyone except maybe Kamau who could breathe for a good minute after that. The large man, rather than being shocked, growled at his Fairy ...friend? Contractor? Partner? I had no idea. "Herman... I thought we had a talk about keeping secrets."

"Yes, but he's an Expert, Kamau." The fairy turned to him. "If he survives... well, I don't know. It's too early for him to challenge any of the Paths, but--"  He seemed to tense up and hang his head, as though ashamed.

"Herman, please," The large man offered his hand to the fairy, palm up, which was an odd gesture. "Let us decide who is ready for things like that."

Herman eagerly fluttered over and sat on Kamau's hand, settling his spider body onto his palm eagerly. "Of course, of course. I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself. Still, this might become the first significant progress your people have, and it's a bit exciting! I was starting to think you'd be among the later--"

"Herman."

"Right, sorry, sorry." Herman paused and examined his teacup. "Kamau... do you think... it would be alright if I had... perhaps, just a little bit... of tea?"

The big black man stared at the little spider fairy for a long time. With his big helmet in the way, it was a little difficult to see, but I realized when he started speaking that he was smiling. "Of course, Herman. You've been such a help to us that I couldn't possibly turn you down."

"Oh! Oh, that would be wonderful. Just a bit, though. You know how I get." Herman's boot-and-high-heel-wearing spider legs practically danced on the man's hand. He turned quickly to Harry, and then to me. "And the two of you... nice to see you again. Thank you for being polite." He bowed to us in turn. "And you, good luck to you. I think you'll do okay."

And then Kamau, without waiting for anyone else's approval or asking if we had any more questions, dropped out of the call. I... couldn't say that was a bad call for him to make. I wasn't kidding when I said I stopped breathing, or that we all did. The ragged drawing in and out of breaths resumed, and Louise, at least, collapsed to the floor, as I'm sure I must have done when I first met Herman. I... didn't remember not breathing back then, but you know? Maybe that's what did it.

"Fuck me," I said, as soon as my breathing was halfway stable. "How exactly did talking to him make the situation worse?"

Instead of answering, Harry immediately started writing, something that he hadn't been able to do while Herman was around. I just hoped he remembered that conversation better than I did--if only so I wouldn't have to. That also left me hoping that the Priestess' ability to recall events was entirely voluntary and not some kind of permanent thing. I wouldn't want either Louise or Eliza to be plagued with nightmares of Herman for the rest of their lives.