As my consciousness shifted from that indescribable realm, I had a sensation akin to waking up, although it was an awakening unlike any other. I had no body to speak of, no tangible form, and yet I was aware. I tried to move, or what I perceived as movement, and my gaze, if one could call it a gaze, fell upon my hand—or what I assumed was my hand. It was an amorphous, swirling mass of strange matter, like a foamy white fog that defied any conventional understanding.

Despite the alien nature of my existence, there was something undeniably comforting in the realization that the scorching, searing pain that had haunted me for what felt like an eternity was absent. In that moment, tears, if one could call them tears, flowed down my pseudo-existent body. It was an inexplicable mix of relief, disbelief, and profound emotion.

I found myself on my knees, emotions swirling within me like a tempest. After what felt like an eternity, the tumultuous emotions began to subside. As they did, the scenery around me started to shift. The white fog that had surrounded me initially began to change, giving way to a radiance that was hauntingly familiar. It was the same light that had engulfed me in that place I could only imagine as "hell."

"No, no, no, please! Not again!" I pleaded desperately as the surroundings shifted, and I felt myself gradually turning into radiance. The terror of what had tormented me before resurfaced in my mind, the agonizing pain that accompanied the blinding radiance.

But then, as the transformation continued, something unexpected happened. Instead of the searing pain, I felt a sense of familiarity, a resonance with the radiant pillar—the pillar of light that had freed me from that place. The memories of my liberation flooded back, and I began to understand that this radiance was not my tormentor; it was my salvation.

In that moment of realization, the conflicting emotions within me began to settle. I embraced the transformation, knowing that I was not returning to the torment I had left behind but entering a new, enigmatic existence. I surrendered to the radiant embrace.

In the midst of the radiant transformation, as I became one with the pillar of light, a profound awareness washed over me. There, in the heart of this luminescent manifestation, I sensed a presence. It was not a him, her, it, or even they; it transcended such simplistic descriptors. It was something beyond my capacity to accurately define, an entity of incomprehensible nature and power.

In that moment of realization, an instinctive reverence overtook me. I adopted my most respectful posture, my knee touching the radiant floor, and my head bowed low. It wasn't a prayer in the conventional sense, for I had never prayed before, but it was a gesture that felt right, a way to convey my profound respect to this entity that stood before me.

As I knelt in silent reverence, I couldn't help but feel a sense of humility, awe, and utter fear. I had traversed realms unknown, endured suffering unimaginable, and now found myself in the presence of something that defied all understanding—a being that seemed to embody the very essence of divinity.

As I knelt in reverence before the incomprehensible entity, it continued to look at me with an indifferent gaze that sent shivers down my spine. It seemed to exist beyond the realms of emotion or expression, its motives inscrutable and its presence overwhelming. I longed to speak, to bridge the gap between my finite understanding and its unfathomable nature, but fear held my words captive.

Minutes, or perhaps mere seconds, passed in the strange, timeless void that surrounded us. My concept of time had been utterly shattered, leaving me adrift in a sea of uncertainty. The entity's unwavering gaze remained locked on me, unyielding and enigmatic.

It was only when the pillar of light I was embraced within began to show signs of change that I summoned the courage to speak. "I..." I hesitated, my mind racing with the memories of the torment I had endured in that other place. The fear of being cast back into that abyss gnawed at my thoughts, and I fought to find my voice.

"I... I know it will most likely mean nothing," I stammered, my words quivering in the vast expanse of that radiant chamber, "but I wanted to voice out my gratitude for having been freed of that place."

The entity, still devoid of any discernible expression, continued to observe me. Was it even looking at me? The uncertainty was maddening, and as the silence stretched on, my heart raced with a rising sense of fear and doubt.

Had I spoken out of turn? Had I committed some unknowable offense? Did I perform the ritual of reverence correctly? Panic welled up within me as I considered the consequences of my words and actions. What if the entity decided to send me back to that place of torment?

Then, in a moment that defied comprehension, the entity underwent a shift, taking on an appearance, or at least a silhouette, that bore a striking resemblance to my own. The sight left me awestruck and bewildered, as to what was its purpose, but soon I understood.

The entity's voice resonated through the ethereal space with an otherworldly quality, speaking words that shook me to the core. "Your gratefulness is misplaced. I did not save you," it intoned, its tone devoid of emotion.

Not only could I not contain my surprise, I didn’t want to leave the entity in silence so felt compelled to respond. "You did not?" I asked, my voice quivering.

The entity's reply was unemotional and matter-of-fact. "Not intentionally," it said, before adding, "you just happened to be in the way."

The words both shook and didn't surprise me. Internally, I thought, "Of course, what was I thinking, that I was a deity's chosen one somehow." Disappointment welled up within me, but I tried to hide it behind a facade of understanding. "I see, I understand," I replied, my tone masking my inner turmoil.

As I pondered the implications of my presence being merely accidental, a nagging thought gnawed at my mind. What was to prevent the entity from sending me back to that place I most likely belong to: hell? Clearly nothing.

Trembling at the mere thought of going through that again, I tremblingly voiced my concerns. "I understand, but still... I feel like I have to be grateful because that's what I am. Grateful, of course. I'm not asking you to consider my feelings; I'm just wondering if I could be of any use."

…

"What the hell was that?" I couldn't help but scream internally. “What did I just say?”

At that moment, offering my service was the only way I could think of to voice my gratitude.

Oh, god., what did I do?

I couldn’t help but hope and pray that my words didn’t offend the entity in some way.

Surprisingly, the otherworldly voice responded, "What can 'you' give in guise of gratitude? What can you do?"

I found myself at a loss for words, unable to answer the question. At that moment, I felt utterly worthless. "Nothing," I replied honestly.

"Then why do you offer?" the entity inquired, its tone as inscrutable as ever.

In a moment of vulnerability, I confessed, "I thought that perhaps this was the way for a sinner to not look bad in front of a God." The entity fell silent for a moment, and I couldn't help but think that I had offended it somehow.

Finally, it replied, "I would like to make some clarification. I do not care about whether you are a sinner or otherwise; I simply do not care about you."

The clarity in its words stung, but I refrained from voicing my thoughts.

"And second, I am not a God," it continued.

"You... are not?" I mumbled in disbelief, my mind racing.

"Yes, I am merely her tool," the entity clarified.

If that’s not a God, but “merely” a tool, then what’s a God could possibly be like? My primitive mind simply couldn’t comprehend. But then again, noting something on what he just said, "Her..." I repeated, and then gathered the courage to ask, "may I ask her name?"

"For what purpose?" The entity's response held a hint of anger; no, I was wrong; actually, it was mostly annoyance and nothing, as it said. It was the first time I detected any emotional undertone in its voice, albeit a somewhat annoyed one.

"In the situation I find myself in," I ventured, "I think having a Godd— a God to pray to is something that I may really need."

"Your prayer won't help her in any sort of way," the entity replied, its words resonating with a profound finality.

In that moment, most likely, I found myself trying to apply some of my limited and mortal logic to a literal being that could rightfully be considered a god. I couldn't help but notice that the entity had placed a certain emphasis on the word "help," and it left me with an unsettling feeling.

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"Then... if it won’t, is there a way that I can be of any help to her?" I ventured to ask, my voice trembling slightly.

A heavy silence hung in the radiant chamber, and I felt compelled to continue. "I understand I'm helpless, I know nothing, and I can't do anything. I am just utterly helpless. But back in my days as a living, breathing being, I was a very loyal and dedicated individual. Those are the traits I can and would dare to boast of in front of you. Right now, I have nothing else. I stand here in front of you, trembling at the thought of returning to that hellish place. I'm afraid—afraid like I've never been before. I know I would dedicate my whole being to do whatever is in my power to avoid returning to that place, which is why I ask for 'her' name."

The entity seemed to consider my words, and then it spoke again, its voice unchanging in its otherworldly tone. "So that's why you asked her name, because you're afraid."

I replied honestly, "Yes, I’m afraid, I’d like to beg for redemption, but I know I don’t deserve it. Best I can do is try to earn from one way or another. In many ways, what I’m seeking is a bargain. I understand that it's not how religion should work, but I'll work to better myself in that regard, if given the opportunity to. I understand that my prayer won't be of any help, so I humbly ask again, what can I do to help?"

As I waited for a response from the entity, its silence took on a different quality. It felt like a contemplative pause, as though it were musing or pondering something profound. I tried not to impose my own logic onto this enigmatic being, but it was difficult not to speculate on its thoughts.

Suddenly, the entity underwent yet another transformation. It began to take on a form that mirrored my own, adding human-like features such as bones, blood, and flesh. It was as if I were gazing into a mirror, and the entity's voice shifted to a tone that was undoubtedly mine.

"So, you hate that place and are willing to do anything to avoid being sent back there?" it asked, using my voice as if it were his own.

"Yes," I replied without hesitation, my determination unwavering. "I will do anything."

The entity continued its inquiry, probing deeper. "Will you go as far as doing what you think sent you to that place in the first place?"

I felt like I was being tested, my resolve examined. The time I spent in that dreadful place had indeed changed me, but it had also instilled in me an unshakable aversion to ever returning. "If it means not going back there, I will do whatever needs to be done, whether it's better, the same, or even worse."

The entity made no immediate comment but posed another question. "Should you be given the opportunity to be of use and purpose, to exist again in another form, would you die once more for the purpose you would then be given?"

Once again, it felt like a test, a moral dilemma. However, I didn't hesitate this time. "I apologize for answering a question with a question, but can I ask something? Will that death lead me back to that place again?"

The entity's response was a cold, unwavering stare, leaving my question unanswered.

Undeterred, I continued, "I will dedicate myself to the task I am given, but, presumptuous as it may sound, I have a request to make in advance."

"What is it?" The entity inquired.

"I request that regardless of the outcome of the task, my death leads not to that place but to total obliteration," I said firmly.

As mindless as the bargain, it was the only one I could see myself having a chance to secure.

I really didn’t want to return to that place and I was willing to do everything so that it won’t ever happen again.

For the first time, the entity displayed a hint of emotion on my own features. It asked, "Is that truly your wish?"

"Yes," I affirmed. "In this way, my life shall be dedicated to the goal I am given. I have lived once, and though its end was abrupt, I am not asking for more. I don't deserve it. I have no right to ask for more. I can only ask not to be sent 'there.' That, at least, I have the right to ask."

The entity approached, and with a single extended finger, it reached for my forehead. "If that's your wish, so shall be your end."

As the entity's touch met my brow, I braced myself for something momentous, something grand and profound. However, to my surprise, nothing of the sort occurred. The entity withdrew its hand from my forehead, relinquishing my form and returning to its previous state. I was left puzzled for a moment, unsure of how I was supposed to act.

In my confusion, I finally mustered the courage to ask, "What can I do to help?"

The entity remained silent for an extended period, leaving me to wonder if it had lost the ability to communicate once it had reverted to its original form. My theory was quickly dispelled when the entity finally spoke, breaking the silence that had hung in the air.

"I will soon give up this form," it stated matter-of-factly.

"Give up this form?" I repeated, still somewhat bewildered.

"In other words, I will soon, in your kind’s terms, die," it clarified.

The concept of something like the entity dying left me dumbfounded. Could something that had claimed to be a tool even die? Questions flooded my mind, overwhelming my thoughts.

"That being said," the entity continued, "I am not a living being. I will not die or perish like living beings do when I'll be killed."

"Killed?" I stammered, my mind reeling.

Something will kill you?

Something is able to kill something like you?

Will it be another God? Something like you? Or something else entirely?

The entity's explanation only deepened my confusion. Perhaps having understood "I," it went on to emphasize, "as in the one you're talking to, will simply disappear, leaving behind shards of what I'm made of."

I listened, still trying to grasp the implications of its words.

"I will entrust one of these shards to you for you to wield," the entity declared.

"Entrust it to me..." I murmured, still struggling to comprehend the magnitude of the situation.

"Yes," it confirmed. "Wield it. For what purpose, you wonder? I don't have to explain. You will know. You will feel it."

With these enigmatic words, the entity left me with more questions than answers, but a newfound sense of purpose and responsibility began to take root within me. I had been granted a unique opportunity, one that carried both uncertainty and potential.

In spite of the inherent risk, I couldn't resist asking the question that had been gnawing at my mind: "Will I live again?" The entity's earlier mention of my death and its plan had left me with a lingering hope that I might return to some form of existence.

The entity's response was swift and definitive. "No."

"No?!" I exclaimed, surprised and baffled by the unexpected answer. I had been so sure that the entity's plans would involve my return to life in some capacity, and this answer shattered my certainty.

Gathering my thoughts, I tried to make sense of the entity's cryptic words. "But as I do, you will exist," it added, leaving me even more puzzled.

"Like you do..." I mumbled, still trying to wrap my head around the enigmatic statement. I couldn't yet grasp the true meaning of its words, but I understood that I would "exist" in some way or another. While it was not the answer I had hoped for, it was a glimmer of hope that I could still hold onto.

The space around us continued to shift and change, an infinite kaleidoscope of simultaneous transformations that defied comprehension, or at the very least, mine. It was a maelstrom of swirling energies and shifting dimensions, a journey into the unknown.

With a strange finality in its voice, the entity declared, "It's beginning."

"What's beginning?" I wanted to ask, but a sense of restraint held me back. I had a feeling that some things were not meant for me to know, and the entity seemed to confirm this as it continued, "You will soon arrive in a new plane of existence."

"A new plane of existence..." I mused, trying to make sense of the concept. "Is it like a parallel universe or something like that?"

"It is a world completely separated from your old one, but no doubt, you will find similarities," the entity explained.

Then it added, "I expect nothing of you except for one thing: to act upon what the shard I will leave behind would want you to. The rest I leave to your discretion."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned internally, feeling a surge of confusion. Did the shard have a mind of its own? Was it like a separate entity? The questions multiplied in my mind like wildfire.

Before I could voice my inquiries, the entity seemed to sense my confusion and said, "We have no time to answer all your questions, but I have just enough time to address the question you asked earlier."

As it spoke, I felt a subtle shift in its tone, as if it were becoming more warm and, dare I say, emotional, closer to something living than a machine.

"No doubt she has no need for any prayer, but feel free to pray to her as much as you wish to. The being that I, K.R.U.L, was created to assist was A42675."

"A42675..." I repeated, trying to wrap my mind around the name. It didn't sound like any name I had ever heard. "Is that a name? Is that what gods' names sound like?"

"It isn't much of a name, but that was the appellation she went by. If anything, there is another name, or perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a title she went by in the plane of existence you will soon arrive in: A42675, the Outer God of Corruption."

"...the Outer God of Corruption;" I mumbled, humbled by the revelation that left me with a profound sense of fear, awe and trepidation.

I felt so small, so insignificant.

As the space continued its relentless and unpredictable transformations, something different occurred this time. The surroundings shattered into countless glass-like shards, creating a mesmerizing and chaotic spectacle.

"It's the end," the entity declared in a voice that carried a sense of finality. The shards of reality shimmered around us, and I couldn't help but feel a profound sense of apprehension and anticipation.

In that moment, it felt as though the entity, K.R.U.L, turned its attention toward me. It spoke my various names, the aliases and identities I had held in different moments of my existence. "Do your best, Hassan, the prince of the street, Pedsi, or whatever name you shall go by in the future. Show me—no, show her what your dedication and loyalty are made of."

Even though similar words in the past had led me to a place nothing short of torment, right now as if having not learned from past mistakes,I couldn't deny the effect these words had on me. They touched a deep corner of my heart, prompting me to drop to my knees and declare with unwavering honesty, without any hidden agenda, "I will."

As I made my solemn pledge, a profound sense of purpose surged within me, filling every fiber of my being with unwavering determination. The chaotic shards of reality that surrounded us began to respond to my newfound resolve, converging and aligning into a singular path, as though the very fabric of existence was bending to my will.

A pillar of light materialized within the tumultuous space, and it was soon followed by a blinding radiance that enveloped me completely. Unlike the searing agony I had endured in that otherworldly place, this radiance did not burn or hurt me. Instead, it bathed me in a soothing warmth, embracing me like a comforting cocoon.

In that moment, as the radiant light surrounded me, it felt as though I was being gently torn apart into countless tiny particles. It was a sensation both surreal and sublime, as if I were being disassembled at an elemental level, ready to be remade in a new existence.