Soul Card

Chapter One

Listening to the chirping of a lone bird, whose song echoed in through the arching window of the private library, emphasizing the silence within—except for the morning crackling of the rekindled fireplace—was a reclusive, self-centered, twenty-two-year-old, Olin Von Shtrapen. He sat at the edge of his brown leather armchair with a look of strained constipation.

‘Gah!’ Von Shtrapen’s chest began palpitating—his look of constipation gone. ‘It— It— It Speaks!’

‘The Soul card, spoke, my lord?’ asked Charles—who coincidentally happened to share the same name as the all-too-familiar, stereotypical butler.

‘Yes— Yes— You’re some kind of… stereotype,’ said Olin Von Shtrapen, churning the unfamiliar word around with his tongue as though discerning a newly discovered flavor.

‘I’m, a what?’

‘But— It seems to think I’m—’ Von Shtrapen paused, attempting to gain control of his labored breathing. Reluctantly he continued in a low mutter, ‘Self-centered.’

‘Ah, It seems to be working rather perfectly then, my lord,’ said Charles, seeming rather pleased with his quick-whip remark.

Von Shtrapen gave Charles a blank stare. ‘I pity myself for not selling you off, as well.’

Charles gave a deep sigh and replied, ‘I do too, my lord. I-do-too.’

Olin rose from his leather armchair and stood, staring triumphantly up at the library’s high ceiling before yelling, ‘I sold off three-quarters of my inheritance for you. Do you know how hard it was to find you?’

Von Shtrapen’s eyes began weeping.

‘They are not!’ he rebutted and quickly wiped away a few tears on his sleeve. ‘The countless books that I had in this library. The stories I read as a child. I’ve waited my entire life for this moment, for this card,’ said Von Shtrapen, clenching his fists in a moment of temporary frustration. He calmed himself, closed his eyes once again, and began concentrating.

Soul card projected.

Von Shtrapen reopened his eyes instantly, finding Charles already squinting his eyes, attempting to read the text displayed on the illuminated Soul card projected in front of them.

Power of the Protagonist.

Acclimation type.

This Soul card’s innate narrative function instantly transcribes the user’s deeds and mishappenings into the written word in various languages. All transcriptions are then available to be absorbed by all sentient lifeforms spread throughout the galaxy. All sentient lifeforms are collectively referred to as Readers. Accumulating Readers will advance this card to the next level, resulting in the unlocking of further spells and abilities. As this Soul card is an acclimation type, your newly acquired spells and abilities will be based upon behavioral, physiological or environmental factors.

Current Soul card level: 1.

Current Reader Followers: 0.

Reader Followers required for advancement to the next level: 100.

Reader Favorites: 0.

Reader Favorites required until next magical summoning: 32.

Patreon Boons: 0.

Acquired spells: 0.

Acquired abilities: 1.

Ability: Narrative Settings.

Narrative Settings allows the user to change the narrative prose according to their preference. This Narrative Setting ability is accompanied by a verbal mute function.

Von Shtrapen turned swiftly, eyeing Charles with a slight grin. ‘I wish you had come—’

‘With a verbal mute function, my Lord?’

Von Shtrapen frowned. ‘You always have to drain the fun out of things,’ he muttered. ‘Narrative Settings!’

Narrative settings: Prose – Narration.

One: Utilitarian – Basic.

Two: Utilitarian – Advanced – Activated.

Three: Poetic – Vivid.

Four: Purple – Not recommended.

‘Am I reading that right, my lord? Purple not recommended?’ asked Charles.

Stolen story; please report.

‘Yes… But what do you suppose it does?’

‘Purple… Purple… Purple…’ repeated Charles. ‘I haven’t a clue, my lord.’

‘Right then. Activate narrative settings number four, Purple.’

Purple Prose activated.

Lord Von Shtrapen stood, his ear’s listening, his eyes drifting—observing. A small crease formed between his eyebrows as he took in the sight of the illustrious plant perched atop the library’s window ledge, which soaked up the sun with as much vigor as Von Shtrapen’s morning stretch after a good night’s sleep. Beyond the plant, outside the window, was a gentle gust of wind blowing imperceptible clusters of pollen throughout the near empty courtyard. Inside the small library, however, lay silence. It was a silence made evident by the soft, faint chirping of that same aforementioned bird still sitting outside the window. The bird, nesting atop the tree branch, drew the butler’s attention; Charles, the butler, had one of those face's sculpted by time; his once smooth, youthful features, chiseled away by laughter and sadness; his hair receding, reminiscent of the women he'd attempted to court at the local inn.

‘So?’ asked Charles, expectantly.

Von Shtrapen’s frown deepened. ‘Have you been… trying to court women down at that inn, Charles?’

Charles responded with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. ‘I beg your pardon, my lord. I— I—’ Charles stuttered.

‘Any-way,’ Von Shtrapen continued, his eye’s still lingering on Charles with a newly found sense of curiosity. ‘Purple just seems like a bunch of convoluted nonsense. I’m changing it back. Re-activate narrative setting number two, Utilitarian Advanced!’

Utilitarian Advanced activated.

Von Shtrapen exhaled a sharp sigh of relief and finally released the Soul card’s projection. ‘This—’ He smiled. ‘This is incredible, Charles. I’ve finally—'

Congratulations, you have unlocked the Quest trope.

Congratulations, you have unlocked a new quest.

‘A quest! I’ve unlocked a quest, Charles—'

Quest: The Call To Adventure.

Your reclusive lifestyle, living off of the proceeds gained from the hard labor and determination of others, has grown your Readers tired. To sustain and grow your Readers attention and begin levelling up, you must depart this estate in search of an adventurer’s guild.

‘A quest, my lord?’

‘Yes, a quest, Charles. I knew this card was worth it. A call to adventure, Charles.’ Von Shtrapen exuded excitement. ‘A quest to venture out into the great unknown in search of an adventurer’s guild. This is why I sought this Soul card, Charles. This is what I’ve been reading about; the small farm boy who leaves behind his mundane life, overcoming obstacles, danger and treachery at every turn, eventually going on to become a revered hero of some kind.’

‘And I suppose you are that poor village boy, my lord?’ asked Charles, flatly.

‘Precisely— Wait. You’re just mocking me, aren’t you?’

‘My lord, I really don’t mean to mock you. It’s just—’

‘It’s just, what?’

‘It’s just that those are only stories, my lord. Fiction. Made-up.’

‘They’re not all made-up; especially not any of Grandfather's adventures.'

‘But you don’t have any experience with combat magic or adventuring. I dare say you’ve hardly any experience venturing through town, my lord.’ Charles’ expression turned grim. ‘My lord, there’s a letter. It’s… from your father.’

‘What? And you didn’t think to inform me of it until just now?’

‘I didn’t want it to get in the way of your new…’

‘My new what? My new obsession? My new toy. Charles,’ he said, with more anger than he’d intended. ‘Not everyone is happy to hovel away in a life of obscurity. I don’t wish to wither-away with a receding hairline, get to the age of sixty-three and spend my remaining years hopelessly trying to court half-wits down at the local inn.’ Von Shtrapen sighed deeply. ‘I’m… I’m sorry, Charles. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. Really.’

‘That’s quite alright, my lord. Those words were practically compliments compared to the insults your father’s thrown at me over the years. Oh, and I’m sixty-four, my lord. My birthday was last week. I would have reminded you about the occasion but… well, you seemed to brush off anything not related to that soul—’

‘Oh, just read the letter, Charles. I know when you’re attempting one of your guilt trips and now is not the time. Let’s just get this correspondence over with, shall we?’

Charles regarded Von Shtrapen with a weary expression, nodded, and then withdrew the parchment. Charles inhaled and then began to read aloud, ‘Dear Olin, your mother is worried, and quite frankly so am I. If I had known of your intentions to liquidate your portion of our family’s holdings, I would have gladly agreed to purchase your share for a tidy sum. Instead, I am to find out that you sold off your inheritance to the highest bidders among those at the merchant guilds, bar that countryside estate you’ve grown too fond of. Your mother and I have agreed, and we’ve decided it’s time for you to make your return back home. Times have changed, and our holdings are not in the state they once were. This is not up for discussion, Olin. Enclosed are two tickets for you and Charles to voyage your way back down the Sansaneer. I expect your arrival by six sundowns from the morrow. Sincerely’—Charles glanced up, seemingly to take satisfaction from Von Shtrapen’s glum expression—‘your father.’

‘Fuck! I didn’t think he’d find out so quickly.’

‘He was bound to find out sooner or later, my lord. How did you think he would react?’

‘Like he always does, I suppose. But I planned on being well on my way before the eventuality of that came about.’ Von Shtrapen narrowed his eyebrows and spoke seriously, ‘What did my father mean by times have changed? And the family holdings aren’t in the state they used to be?’

‘Well... rumor has it that with the passing of the late king, his Soul card ended up—’

‘Ended up, what? Spit it out, Charles.’

Charles spoke in a whisper, ‘His Soul card died along with him. The Inquisitors never had the time to extract it.’

Von Shtrapen shrugged. ‘So what? It will rematerialize within a year, anyway.’

‘A year without that Soul card, my lord, will mean our new king will face some great difficulties ahead. No control of the estuaries, canals, or the Sansaneer. How do you think our lands have remained so prosperous for so many generations? When you control water, you control life itself.’

‘So, what you’re saying is that whichever poor sap is unlucky enough to receive that Element of Water Soul card will probably have the entire kingdom after him.’

‘Unfortunately so, my lord. You see, when you control the water, you control the currents of the Sansaneer. You control crop irrigation. Not to mention basic water supply for the booming populous. My lord, without that Soul card, I’m afraid our king will be facing a declining economy ahead. And I suspect that there will be more than just a few who will do anything to get their hands on that Soul card.’

‘Well,’ said Von Shtrapen. 'The best I can do is keep an eye out for it. Besides, if I'm going to become an adventurer then I can’t be thinking about anyone else's problems.'

‘You— You really intend on going off to join one of those adventurer guilds like your grandfather? My lord, surely—’

‘Of course, I’m going. Do you not take me seriously? Do you think I’ve spent my life seeking out this Soul card for the fun of it?’

‘You know what your father thinks about all this, don't you? And he’s going to be expecting you six sundowns from the morrow.’

‘Hmm… You’ve got a fair point.’

Charles’ seemed to visibly relax.

‘We can leave behind a letter before we go,’ said Von Shtrapen, casually. ‘I’m sure they’ll find it eventually.’

‘We?’

‘Yes, we. Now write something along the lines of… Accepted the Call to Adventure… Be back when we’re done.’

‘I— But I thought you would at least have me take care of things here, my lord. During your absence?'

‘And have me venture out into the great unknown by myself? Seriously, Charles. Besides, without you tagging along—Von Shtrapen paused—'I’m not sure if I could possibly manage.’

‘Do you— Do you really mean that, my lord?’

‘Of course, I do, Charles. Without you by my side, well, I’d have no one to carry my belongings.’