He awoke to a strange light that seemed to have no source but filled the space all around him with a soft golden warmth. He felt almost weightless and was having difficulty looking around. In fact, he couldn't even look down at his own body, everything felt distant and disjointed, the soft warmth glowing around and through him.
He didn't know how long he floated there bathing in that light. The movement of time seemed hard to comprehend in this space. Even the flow of his thoughts seemed hazy and sluggish, the linear nature of logic having difficulty establishing any momentum in this place. What might have been minutes or years passed until a sound like the ringing of bells reverberated all around Tilly.
Transference complete, uploading Administrator...
Then the light bloomed in front of him and rich hues of purple, blue, and red burst forth in front of him as a figure emerged, breathing up the endless nothingness that had been the light. Each of its features seemed painfully real in this place of softness. The figure had a royal cast to its bearing that was neither masculine nor feminine. They wore a laurel of light on their brow and wore a robe slightly reminiscent of a Roman Senator.
“It has been quite some time since one from the Middle Realm was bumped up to me. Most simply move on to the appropriate option, but you are an interesting case aren't you?”
Words emanating from this figure seemed to echo from all around Tilly and it felt like each sentence imposed on his fragile thought process, bringing pain, and with it greater cognizance. Its mouth didn't move at all as it spoke, but nonetheless, its words echoed around and through Tilly inviting some response.
“Hmmm,” Tilly tried to speak but all that emerged was a low hum. One that did not originate from his mouth, or any place at all for that matter.
Despite that, the figure had no difficulty understanding the intention of Tilly's inquiry,
“Yes, you have left behind your corporeal form, but I would not call this ‘death’. Do not bother trying to speak, I can understand your thoughts plainly, Jonathan Luke Tillman.” The figure stated, a small comforting smile softening its otherwise statuesque face. Those instructions sunk into Tilly's being slowly and in response, he strung together a full sentence in his mind,
“Where am I if I'm not dead?”
“You are nowhere and everywhere." The figure said, leaning forward before continuing.
"Perhaps ‘The Infinite’ would convey it best in your language. And before you ask, this is not the afterlife. You are here to make some decisions that will impact your future greatly. In a moment, I will return you to your full emotional and intellectual capacity, but before I do that you need to listen, so for now you will feel… muted.”
Muted?
His head felt like it was full of wool, and the concerns of his past life had been reduced to faint shadows of memories… “Who are you?”
“I am a System Administrator. I work for a being far beyond your scope of understanding, who created all known and unknown realities bound by time. The Origin.
"You have some understanding of Him from your world as God, but very few understand His goals. In the beginning, He gave all His creation true freedom in the hope that one day it will return to Him as wholly unique and new. You are a soul, one small piece of this incomprehensibly large work, but significant all the same.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
"At this point in your existence, you would typically either move from the middle plane to a higher one and come closer to Him. Or you move down into the lower planes, having dedicated yourself to the pursuit of goals outside His intent. While power is abundant in the many Realms, complete freedom of choice is reserved for those few He placed in the Middle Realm. And make no mistake, everyone chooses.”
At this the figure paused and its eyes took on a very peculiar focus. Wells of deep liquid light flowed from them and moved through Tilly and he felt a deep instinctual fear take hold even in his detached state.
“I am only called in when one has given up a life of extraordinary potential to save another soul, yet is not an obvious candidate to move up or down in the Realms… And in you, I find a very interesting case. Get ready, I am removing the Mute, and the shock of your situation will hit you. This effect would be far more powerful in a physical body, but it will be significant all the same.”
Then the figure gestured with its hand which released a flash of... something. Along with the flash came the immense weight of Tilly's past, his few triumphs, and his many failings. Memory after memory flooded him, lending cadence to the high and low notes of his 46 years on the planet.
His daughter Emma, sick on her hospital bed.
His ex-wife Laura looked up at him with guilt and accusation mingling like poison in her eyes.
Drink after drink trying to forget but never quite able to.
Endless nights spent trying to escape his reality through any kind of fantasy or game he could get his hands on.
Decades on the job passing up promotions, and staying out in the streets as long as possible. Avoiding the responsibility of leadership at all costs.
Catching a fire call on his last shift of work.
…That little girl.
If he had a throat he would have screamed as the reality of his entire life was summed up in one eternal moment. Instead, he felt the insubstantial substance of his being begin to tremble as regret racked his soul. He had been weighed and measured and found that his whole life with all of its struggle and pain had barely made a drop of meaningful impact in the grand scheme of things. Only in his last reckless minutes of life had he truly moved and lived entirely for the benefit of another, his decisions motivated more by sorrow and loss than any sort of hero complex.
“Did she make it?” He thought towards the administrator, shakily pulling himself back from the deep abyss that was his past.
At Tilly's question, the administrator's small smile grew.
“Yes Tilly, she lost some lung capacity and her only parent in that fire. But she will go on to live an amazing life, one made no more or less precious by her accomplishments. She will find a new family and burn with a bright joy for the rest of her days.”
Then it paused, leaning back as if pondering something. Tilly sagged in relief at the news, knowing at least something good came out of the complex shades of escapism and self-punishment that had made up his life. Too many thought being in his profession made him inherently less selfish than others. The sad truth was he had spent the last decade of his life distant and disinterested in anything but his next paycheck and the future distractions it would buy him.
“This is where we come to the conundrum. You see you are not actually dead, you are moments away from death in your world, lingering on the brink. Before today, your self-pity, and bitterness would have sent you to a lower realm, the life you lived had the potential for far more nobility than you realized, and you squandered it in fear and bitterness. Many moved through your life made less for their time with you...
"That is until your very last moments when you choose to become something much greater. The man you were always meant to be. This qualified you to move up. Yet, I have been sent to evaluate you because in your case there is another option. You represent almost perfect balance on the cosmic scale, and with your great potential, it can be moved in either direction. Because of this, I am empowered to make you an offer.”
“There is another Realm, one that is neither closer nor further from Origin. One that touches on the hearts and minds of each soul in the cycle, this realm is called Nephesh. It is the realm of myth and legend and the place where all of the stories of mankind come together to do battle for the minds and hearts of the collective psyche of creation.”
“So I can go ‘up’ to heaven or go to this place Nephesh? Why wouldn't I take my ticket up?”
“Good question Tilly. The answer is quite complex, and due to the rules, I can not influence your decision one way or another… But I can say, that Nephesh represents more opportunity to make a difference, than your standard path towards Origin. Think of it this way, you have won money at the casino, and you can take your winnings and leave… or you can put it all on the table for one more roll."