“Muhahahahahaha!” the double-faced Goldteeth chortled. “Didst thou really thinken I defeated?! Thou fool! Thou ignorant fool!”
“Guhuhagh!” The defeated Blazespear had plummeted to his knees’ tips, mewling from the clenches in his chest. ‘How could he be so powerful?’, the hero mulled. His most blessed sword had cut cleanly through that wicked villain, but only for the Gods to be powerless to the wrath of his double-eared magics. With sweat misting his husk, he could only await his doomed fate.
“My friends…”
“They cann’t saven thee now, Blazespear! At last, I have thee rightly whither-in I so wanted!” The horrid Goldteeth gawped through-in-for the hero Blazespear, at whom his wretched staff pointed with luster. “Thou cans’nt escapen now! Muahaha! Yes, yes, yes!” Wretched gyves conjuring from the nether locked the hero’s limbs, casting him forthwards thither that blackish wall behind.
Lunatic laughter arrowed whilst the manacled Blazespear was chained thence. “No! No!” The gyves wrapped around from the limbs; tying with tightening looseness at the bottom and groin, the chest and heart, a type of grip most provocative. “Let go of me, fiend! Thou shan’t!”
The pleas of the enlocked hero fed the orc-hearted villain whost approached, of whom yet the knots’ curls of his breaths remained with hunger. “Thou hast haunted me far enough too long! And now thou art mine! Muahahahaha!”
The horrific gyves lustered thus light reddish, thence the magics’ clasp rendered succubious. “No, no! I refuse!” The hero Blazespear’s squealsome moans only empowered the spell’s horror, for betraying loyalty of-to friends and lover of-to girls was queerish spine. “No! No! Thou shan’t! Thou shan’t! I shall overcome this, wicked fiend!” His very speech was emasculated and made a eunuch’s likened softness.
“I have awaited for this, ha ha ha. Finally.” The pillager’s grin from the wicked Goldteeth cracked the earth aflat.
His magics stripped the trapped hero of his blessed armor and finest tunic, which vaporized like the fresh steam of heatful sweat. Unleashing to sights divine, his most hardened of chests which pulped hearts, the most perfected of limbs that rose tails, and, grandest of all, his most glamorous and brightening…
----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
Drip. Drop. Drip.
Drool so drooled upon the page, almost as if from a musthing mammoth and not a panting girl. “Hehehehehe… Hehehe…” She giggled with a grin, the blush on her cheeks evident of much. “It… It…dangled like a risen worm freed from confines, shining with blindness… The tip popped like… Hehehe… ‘I see now, thy name, Blazespear, for thy spear certainly setteth ablaze’, th-the villain…”
Indeed, she was reading it aloud to herself.
“…Blue, what the fuck are you reading?” Red…needed to ask, having been tolerating much.
Blue retracted her allured gaze from the book in her hands, turning to him who was laying over at the other bed. “Oh, you know, merely the finest literature in this realm…” She had a half-contained smirk.
“ ‘Finest’ my demon-raped asshole, you’re reading one of those shitty sodomite tales!” he so countered; “The hero gets raped by the villain and turned into a fuck-thing, yeah, yeah… Obviously written for horny women, Gods’ sacred… Shit makes me regret reading being so common…” Red did not seem to care for this class of ‘literature’. “Can you at least read in your head?”
“No.” Blue was very quick to declare. “You know, Blazespear looks a lot like you. His ferocious yellowy eyes, his deep red hair… I am thinking about you, you know?”
“…you’re thinking about me getting ass-raped by an evil bumble-fuck mage?” Red’s tone could not even be bemused; he was so very accustomed to this.
“Oh, no, no, no, Reddy… That was not what I was imagining…” Blue’s voice was quick to correct, the tone self-explanatory; “Hehe… I always wondered, is it sodomy if it is done by a girl?”
“Gods’ sacred toilet…” Red immediately squished his ear with a pillow, turning himself over so that he faced the side away from his partner.
“Mm…” Blue slightly grumbled, her lips curling aside as she reflected… “Alrightly, Red, listen…” She tried to get his attention, her voice more serious and less teasing.
Yet no reply; Red continued to ignore.
“Hey, Red… Reddy?” Yet he continued to ignore her. “I know you are not sleeping; you are staring at the wall…” she thus stated, her voice louder. “Red! Red… Red? Red… Red!” Alright, this was just… “Ugh. Someone is such a cranky boy today…”
Sighing, Blue focused her mind, closing her eyes with a deep-deep inhale, concentrating all that was within… Before… Flash. Her eyes ignited into a loose and mellow icy radiance, more partial than full yet not quite both. Channeling, she pressed her palm against her lips, kissing it before blowing forth. “Poof.”
And abruptly, a tightly condensed and small wisp-dusty ball of snowy glimmer formed way before poofing right behind Red’s exposed neck, unleashing a gentle yet sharp biting freeze.
“Ach!” Red immediately jolted up and out of his bed, nearly tumbling as he gripped the back of his shiver-bitten neck. “Alright! Woah! Gods’ sacred! Sorry, sorry! You didn’t have to—”
Yet almost immediately, Blue had so thrusted herself off her bed, making way before lunging forth to him, only to…land face first flumped onto his own bed; however, she stretched out her dangling arms without even lifting up her plopped face, gripping him and pulling him closer. “Come on!” her slightly muffled voice whined, pretending as if she had not just froze-poofed his neck; “I am bored! I want to do something!” Her deignited eyes looked at him.
“So…?” Red had resisted her pull; he remained standing before the bed. “Nothing’s stopping you from going out and doing something; that’s what you’ve been doing…”
Blue ughed, her arms letting go as she remained plopped stretched out upon his bed… “With you! Red…” she clarified the obvious; “You are not stupid even if you pretend to be… You know what I mean… I want to spend time with you…”
Red groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose… “Oh, we’ve spent plenty of time, alright… Haven’t you drained me enough, lady? All you wanna do is ride me until I’m dead—”
Blue’s own groans of such ughs interrupted. “No! Well, actually, yes—I have not drained you sufficiently, buddy… But also, that’s not what I meant! For once, that is not I want to do…” Blue sat herself up though remained slumped… She sighed; “Red, ever since we discovered the Guild hall here is no more, it has been like this…”
----------------------------------------
Quibusdam Diebus Prioribus
“…” Red was silent, his eyes utterly unamused. His expectations were low, granted, but… This was just…
“It appears that nobody is home…” Blue casually remarked, standing to next to him. “Shall we knock?” she teased.
“Yeah…” Red slowly but decisively turned his head around, glaring at the skinny and duplicitous stereotype-invoking man who so stood behind with hands graciously interlocked. “So, you led us all the way here, but at no point…did it you bother to mention this?”
Their so-called guide had a smirk. “Now, now… Ye hired me to leaden yee hither; not once did ye asken me if they be still opened nor functionynde, adventureren” he thus so clarified, stretching out his hand with palm opened wide; “Ye asked me to leaden, ond I ledde yee; so…”
“…” Red looked at him quite the way.
“Red, just pay the man, please…” Blue respectfully urged, not wanting a show. “He does have a point, we never specified. He did his part; so, we ought to honor ours…”
Red sighed and grumblingly withdrew his coin pouch; opening it, he tossed ten coins towards that guide who swiftly picked them up.
However, the guide did not seem exactly pleased. “Silveren?” He laughed, indeed.
“Yeah,” Red so said, “we didn’t specify the exact pay, now did we?”
“Red…” Blue grumbled as she looked at her partner.
The guide scoffed. “Thou mayst so well given me Bronzen! This be a citie of gold! Onlic waye to surviven!” he protested.
“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before—” Red was going to say, although…
“I can’t even buyen breaden with these!” the guide continued on, his voice slightly more desperate. “Oh, but yee looke well-fedden!”
Red tightened his hand, clenching… “Gods’ sacred toilet…” Quite begrudgingly, he tossed the man a gold. “Fine, there you are… Now get lost already.” Despite his belligerence, it was obvious this knave was not skinny by choice; even though Red had reason to deny a proper payment, he did not actually want to condemn the man to starvation.
Indeed, that knave’s frown flipped back into a smile. “Haha! Thanke yee for yer business! I’m eatynde well to-nyght.” Satisfied, he waved off and left.
Red groaned somewhat… He had no idea if he had just been swindled or not; it was difficult to tell with those sorts. Either way, he returned his attention to that very evidently closed down and shuttered building in front.
“See? You are kind, when you show it…” Blue gently remarked, glancing at him with a tiny smile.
“You’d think you’d have a better sense of shady persons…” Yet Red was not as thrilled.
“Oh, I do… But survival encourages the worst of habits, making it hard to be honest even if you want to be so” Blue thus replied. “I mean, after all, just look at you…”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
“Yeah, yeah…” Red waved his hand; “But I ain’t a knave… I am honest and upfront.”
“Perhaps, although maybe not with yourself…” Blue retorted, kindly.
“Hm.” Red did not reply.
Sighing gently, Blue returned her attention to that building in front… “Well, anyway, this hall does look rather scrumptious and gluttonous; business must have been pleasant here…”
“Yeah… The Strawberry branch was doing real fine compared to the rest of the dutchy…” Red began to cogitate… “So, the fuck happened? Why’d they close it out?”
“How am I supposed to answer that?” Blue so teasingly wondered… “Oh, you are talking to yourself, rightly right… Forgot you do that…”
“Fuck you…” Red so replied, not paying her mind.
“My, aren’t you audacious now? Sure. We can do it here…” Blue, naturally, replied.
And Red, naturally, groaned again, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Blue giggled, amused.
Yet: “You two!” a voice abruptly called out from behind; “Heya!”
“Huh?”
“Who?”
The two of them blurted in unison as they turned around and saw…an old man of sorts, with a bend to his back, approach at his…elderly pace. He did not seem overly destitute, though he certainly seemed kindly in spirit.
“You two be adventurers, aye?” the old man, his accent not deeply Strawberrien, inquired as he arrived.
“Yeah…? We are…” Red, naturally suspicious, cautiously answered. “I just don’t wear the badge.”
“Oh, you don’t need to wear that badge for me to tell, yep” the old man thus remarked, chuckling. “That’s some real strange armor you’ve got on you… Haven’t seen anything like that in these lands, nope…”
“Why’re you asking?” Red interrogated, still no less suspicious. “What do you want with us?”
“Ah… I can tell the sort you must be, yep…” the old man hehed slightly. “Overheard that little scuffle with that knave and saw you two standing here; I wanted to chat… That ain’t wrong, no?” he explained, his demeanor friendly; “I was a Sapphire back in the day, you see, when ranking was real harder, yep…”
“…you? A Sapphire?” Red found that hard to believe, considering the sight he was looking at presently.
“Age does a lot, don’t it? Haha!” The old man laughed it off. “Ninety-three full years I’ve got on me, yep… And I’ve still got it in me to keep walkin’, heh…”
“Wow…” Blue was amazed, though she maintained her demeanor; “That is…rather old… You are quite old.” Such was by no means an insult; to reach such an age was, well, impressive.
“You must’ve just arrived, I reckon, considering you be standin’ here…” The old man’s eyes weakly gazed at that shuttered Guild hall; “Heh, yep… The Guild ain’t here no more; they got the sudden boot… Real shame too, since this hall was just about the only place commonfolk could get what we needed without being robbed by the markets…”
“Wait… What do you mean?” Blue immediately asked, becoming curious.
The old man’s eyes turned to her. “Well, missy, you might’ve noticed we’ve got a few issues here… Too much gold enterin’ too fast—heh, the irony… Everythin’s been too expensive for a while now, but it’s been gettin’ more so” he began to explain, returning his eyes to the Guild hall; “But the Guild here, they were distributin’ stuff and sellin’ supplies to the meagerly sorts, for real affordable prices—got cheaper the more desperate you were… Many of us were relying on this place to get what we needed… Too many of us, frankly…”
“Oh. I get it now…” Blue, indeed, immediately realized…
“So, why’d they shut this place down?” Red, on the other hand, asked. “You happen to know anything?”
“Hm…” The old man scratched his head… “Well, I can’t say exactly why… The count’s ordinance came out from nowhere, frankly… But from what I did hear, apparently that ‘Security Office’ has somethin’ to do with it—took control over the main hall in Grandberry, I heard…”
“Of fucking course…” Immediately, so many strings connected in Red’s head, many things now making much more sense.
“Heh, yep… Would you imagine that, rightly? You know, those fellas weren’t a thing in my time, nope… Didn’t think they could just up ‘nd do that, but that’s apparently what must’ve spooked the count” the old man continued; “Don’t know exactly why, though…”
“Well, thanks. That was appreciated.” Red tossed the old man a gold.
The old man was caught by surprise as he caught the coin, though he did not protest; “Ain’chya a kind folk? Obliged!” He was gracious indeed. “Anyways, fancy meetin’ you folks here. I run a shop and smith not too far from here,” —he pointed the direction—“just down yonder that ways, ‘Sapphire smithing’, heh… I don’t do the labor myself nomore, though… But do stop on by if you need anythin’ or need your…” He looked at Red’s armor… “…alien armor ‘nd stuff taken a look at or handled. Give ya a discount, yep… I’ll help how I can, as a fellow adventurer, heh…” With a waving goodbye, the old man thus departed off.
Blue waved back; “Thank you handsomely, sweet elder!” She smiled away. “Once an adventurer, always an adventurer, aye? Nice man…” she remarked, before returning her attention to that Guildhall; “Well, seeing that the hall here is closed, that means we shall be able to just—”
“Ah, so that’s why that birdie went on a whole song about the Office, huh…” Red, however, remained preoccupied with his own chain of deducing thoughts; “So, those doorknobs are sticking their fingers into shit, huh? That explains it; explains a lot… I bet the count doesn’t trust the Guild’s intentions, hm…”
Blue looked at him, knowing well enough that musing tone of his. “Red… It is nothing complex. This Guild hall was literally undercutting the local markets here by being too cheap; that most likely had everything to do with their closure…”
“Nah, that’s too simple…” Red waved dismissingly; “And shit’s never that simple… Besides, he said it was the count, not the merchants’ council—they don’t even have the power to expel a sovereign entity like the Guild…”
“But they do have the coin to pressure the count to do so…” Blue replied; “Coin’s quite powerful these days, Red…”
“Yeah, sure, but why wait until after the Office shoves its nose, huh? Could’ve done that anytime…” Red countered, his posture becoming more unnerved as he fell into deeper thought. “Yeah, I knew it. I don’t like this. The Gods’ fucked balloons all over the place, the checks at the gates, the whole sense of this dump city…” Indeed, his thoughts trailed off to more…general contentions. “
Blue tensed a little… “Red, please, not everything is a huge conspiracy waiting to be unraveled… Sometimes things are stupidly simple…”
“I ain’t talking conspiracies: I am talking reality. That’s just how this Gods’ ordained world works…” Red replied, somewhat barky; there was a tension in his breaths. “Yeah, no… This was a bad idea… I shouldn’t have given the Company our wagon and especially not that Demon fucked unicorn… The fuck was I thinking? I don’t know a thing of what they’re up to…” He began to walk off. “We’re getting our shit back. We should stay out of this dump until—”
Yet, “No, no, no! No.” Blue grasped his hand, tugging him still. “Red, please… Is it so hard for us to just settle down, relax, and enjoy ourselves for once while we can?”
“Enjoy what? What’s there to enjoy in this dump?” Red so replied. “I know what you’re interested in ‘enjoying’ here…”
Blue sighed, her grasp hardening into a grip more firm; “Red. I am not spending however long we are going to be here…outside the city walls where I can be easily assaulted by monsters or goblins or…orcs…or…big…hulking giants…” Her tone began to slip; she was supposed to be making a point of why she should not, yet… “Hehe… Although, granted, that does not actually sound so…”
“Alright! We’ll settle down here and wait this out, Gods’ sacred…” Red immediately acquiesced, knowing exactly where her fantasies were drifting. With a sigh, his breaths calmed and…relaxed. “Yeah, you could use a break, huh? Fine…” He knew well enough, even if he acted obtuse.
“Yay!” Blue smiled, her grip becoming gentle again; “Shall we find a place, then?”
----------------------------------------
Nunc
Blue remained slumped at his bed, glaring at him. “All you have done is nap, bemoan, and brood at the window all night…” she continued on; “And, just to say, you know the window is next to my bed, rightly? I can hear you… You are always thinking that is something is a freaky plot.”
“Yeah. That’s because shit keeps turning out that way, all the fucking time…” Red was blunt; “You know for a fact the Company ain’t offering us wagon-space out of the ‘kindness’ of their corporate hearts.”
“The unicorn is fine, Red. Nothing is going to happen to him…” Blue kind of tried to reassure, though she was slightly annoyed in voice.
“That’s ain’t what I’m worrying about…” Red replied; “This’s just too fucking convenient… How’d they even know we had a unicorn, huh? We were offered before we’d even entered the city, and they wanted us to be real secret about shit too… They’re up to something…”
“We are literally working for spies, are we not?” Blue frankly remarked. “You think too much sometimes…”
“Yeah, and you think way too little sometimes!” Red suddenly bit, quite unnecessarily. “I mean, we don’t know what’s gonna happen, yet you seem eager to frenzy spend our coin in this inflated dumpster-town like a simpleton!”
Blue’s eyes had widened. “Simpleton?? Excuse me—” She immediately bit her lip, pausing her voice as she…took the step to…not escalate. Deep breath in and out, she calmed. “Yes. I have been spending our coin: on bathing myself from the guck of our journey; cleaning my attire from the blood of your quests; buying potions so that we do not end up sickly; buying supplies for us only for you to eat them because you refuse to go outside.” she listed; “I can go on.”
Red’s eyes averted down, his posture loosening… “Yeah…” His implicit apology was obvious in his expressions. However, he then gave Blue a blunt stare. “But let’s not cut out the shit here, lady: you’re leaving out the over-expensive dinning, those ass-fucked books, and not to mention the lust potions and your nightly—”
“Alrightly, alrightly!” Blue promptly brushed her hand flickingly, eyes evading… “We shan’t trespass that far, thy point be maden…” Though, she too then gave him a sudden blunt stare. “However, I should specify that I would not be spending so much on those…nighty expenses, were that you would actually—”
“Lady, if I responded every single time you’re charged, which is always, I’d be left shriveled up and empty!” Red reiterated in effect.
“I mean…” Blue looked away… “Not…necessarily, although…” She shook her head, hughing as she snapped out of such thoughts. “But that’s not what I mean! Red, you have not left this room once, and I have been wanting to spend time with you…”
Red’s posture shifted somewhat… “Look, I already told you: I don’t like any of this. This isn’t some lovey trip. We’re waiting this out, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I don’t wanna get comfortable and all nicey ‘nd complacent!” he argued, voice escalating; “You can, but I can’t. If you are so bored, you can go out and do whatever to ‘relax’ and find whoever else to fuck, I don’t care. But just stop asking me to…to…” His voice, however, shriveled out… “Gods’ sacred toilet…” He did not quite know what he was trying to get at…
Blue was silent, before…sighing; “All strings always stitch back to this, thus…” Indeed, she realized at least what half of this was actually about. “No. Red, I know what you are trying do, and I shan’t let it work; I am not you letting win…” she reminded him; “No matter how hard you try to push me, you cannot undo what has been done… It’s your fault, being such a rescuing hero, saving me, taking my hand the way you did…” She scooted herself forward and gently grasped his hand… “I owe you my life, and I am not going away. Sorry…”
Red’s own hand tightened softly, accepting her grip… “Yeah…” he muttered, breaths fizzling their affect…
“And I want to spend time with you, Red, you know that… No one else…” Blue reiterated; “You still have to make up with me, properly…” She finally hopped herself off his bed, standing firm. “Besides,” she eyed the pile of equipment and armor Red had barely organized, “your armor is a gucky mess, and your…”—she eyed his Far Eastern polearm—“that…thing… It’s still in unpleasant shape. So, we need to go and get your stuff evaluated anyway. You can think about this as nothing more than that…” She needed to specify this since that man was allergic to anything genuinely romantic between them, despite being what they were.
“Eh…” Yet Red was dismissive; “It’ll manage, it always does. And my crap might be dirty, but it’s fine; it doesn’t—”
“This entire room has a stench because of you, Reddy.” Blue coldly glared at him, her voice readying to threaten.
Red looked away somewhat, nodding slightly… He was not winning this, it was obvious… “Alright, fine…” He sighed… “Yeah, you’re right, we should get my shit checked out… And I could use a bath too, fuck…” He had been acting stupid, anyway.
“Wait, really?” Blue exhaled a relieved breath; “Finally, Trinity in Heaven…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know…” Red waved his hand. “Go and get dressed, then, miss undergarments.”
“Alrightly! Certainly, I shall…do that!” Blue smiled, delightfully ecstatic. She proceeded to hop herself to the closest wherein she had organized her belongings and outfit. However, gleefully opening it, she abruptly froze in place, as a…strange sensation…suddenly pierced her… “Hm…” She turned her head and began to eye the room above and around, inspecting and looking…
“What?” Red immediately took notice. “Why are you…”
“Oh, nothing… It just feels like…”—she shook her head—“it’s nothing, sorry…” Returning her attention to the closet, Blue began to ready herself… Yet that strange feeling…did not go away… It lingered behind her, indeed, that sensation…vaguely noticed before.
Someone is sensitive, it seems.