"Overturn the Scales..." reverberates in my mind like a tolling bell. These are not mere words; they are a direct and clear warning. I'm unsure about the Scales and the Balance the quester referred to, but Newton's third law is clear to me: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." In the context of the quester's appearance right now, it's a glaring hint about my desire to circumvent their prohibition and tell Katashi about the future awaiting us. I feared that my careless words might lead to my erasure, but the actual situation turned out to be even worse. Or rather, more complex. Essentially, the questers cleverly sidestepped the issue, demonstratively refraining from controlling my speech, and shifted the entire responsibility onto me. And they can't even be blamed for it. I asked for more openness when talking about "blind instruments." Well, I got what I wished for, not in full measure, just a fraction of it, but that was more than enough for me.
To say that the quester's words turned my world upside down would be an understatement. Thoughts raced through my head, jumping from one topic to another. I saw them as cruel manipulators, but it turned out that people themselves pushed these beings to such radical methods. I have no doubt that the tale of the Zeroth Cycle is true. Human nature is ambiguous, and many, when confronted with the truth, may end up making entirely different conclusions than needed. Damn! Now, I even agree that some preliminary selection and testing were a harsh necessity, not someone's whim or manifestation of sadistic tendencies.
"And still, their trials, especially the first group one, were excessively cruel..." I whisper very softly, almost inaudibly.
And no sooner had these words slipped from my tongue, I heard a calm yet bone-chillingly cold voice behind me:
"The broken legs and arms of Ilona and Miranda. The constant beatings of Flavius. The callous manipulations with Arien, which could have broken her heart. Your plans to humiliate Katashi and beat up Nate. Your decisions on who lives and who dies... All for the sake of Achieving the Goal... Remember the sentence you passed on Ulerai Bloody Tongue. Remember the one from whom you stole the Life Rod." I do remember. "You stole it and condemned to death one of the twelve Shards. Those very Shards that you so want to protect. Yet you sentenced one of them to die. You didn't even doubt then... Proud of yourself... We remember that pride of yours and the feeling of being morally right. So answer me one question: how do your methods differ from ours?"
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Like burning nails, these words pierced my soul, leaving trails of flaming shame from realizing my actions. I sat, unable to turn around, flinching at every phrase the quester uttered, as if slapped. The voice behind me was right. About everything!
"We decided you'll carry your own burden. If you wish, loosen your tongue and doom Ain, leaving this world no chance of salvation. If you wish, grit your teeth and fight. There is still a chance, however faint and elusive... We don't care. We're not here to save this world. We have a different task."
Not to save? A different task? But then why all this? So many unasked-for answers, yet more questions arise.
"And yes, almost forgot," this display of something human, forgetfulness, I could feel its pretense and falsity even from behind, "your reward." A new inscription appears on my Core. "For being the first among sortudos to reach Wootz."
When I finally muster the strength to turn around, there's no one behind me. Just the wind lightly swaying the grass by the stream. Only the new inscription, shining with mithril on my Core's surface, hints that the quester's second visit and his words weren't just a figment of my troubled imagination.
The inscription reads "Aspiration to the Summit" and allows me to take another two hundred steps into the fog of Divino. It also slightly reduces the requirements for the growth of my Core, by one-tenth. Not much? Actually, it's an excellent bonus, and at any other time, I would have been jumping for joy upon receiving it. At any other time…
But now, I was crushed, flattened by the quester's words, as if a steamroller had passed over me. And all because he was right. My actions, my decisions, were no different from their methods. This realization, which actually had always been in plain sight, literally trampled me. It drained me of strength and motivation.
I sat in a small clearing by the dying fire, unable to muster the strength to even stand up. Why? Why go anywhere? Why strive?
By killing the dragon, I had become the dragon myself.
The end of the 5th volume.