"You want to what?" Barb said as she stared at Hailey, hoping she had a good punchline for this obvious joke.
Felicia sat in silence and glanced back and forth between her two new friends. She looked like someone who knew an argument would erupt before them, but they could not stop it.
"Barb, this is Kennedy's dream, and we can give it to her."
"You keep saying we. Hail, I never wanted to pledge in the first place!"
"And you won't be pledging. You'll be a charter member. That means you can skip the entire process!"
"But that's worse. That means more responsibility!"
"Come on, Barb! I can't do this without you."
"You're missing the biggest problem. Rush Week already started. We can't create a new club now!"
"It's Monday. We have until Sunday."
"You want to start a new social club in six days?" Barb laughed. There was the punchline. Hailey took a long time to get to it.
"We should at least try. Let's go to Bledsoe's office and ask him."
"There it is again. You keep talking like I'm already part of this."
"Felicia, what do you think?" Hailey asked.
"Don't you dare drag this poor innocent girl into this," Barb said, putting an arm around Felicia.
"I-I think it's a cool idea," Felicia said, looking at Barb.
"Traitor," Barb muttered. "She will ask you to join this scheme."
"It's not a scheme, Barb!"
"It's okay. This is my chance to break out of my shell," Felicia said. Barb looked into her eyes and realized she was resolute. It was the most eye contact she had ever given Barb.
"Okay, fine. I'm in, but only to protect Fel from all this," Barb said.
"I don't need protection," Felicia whispered.
"You're right. I apologize, but I know my sister, and I won't let her corrupt you," Barb replied, making Hailey roll her eyes. However, Hailey couldn't hide her satisfaction.
***
The following morning, a scream echoed throughout Marla's townhouse. The sound made Sandra wake with a start. She got tangled in her sheets while attempting to get up. Sandra fell out of bed and freed herself from the mess while mumbling, "Marla, what the hell?" When Sandra stumbled into the living room, she found Marla staring at her whiteboard with rage. "What's wrong? Did you see a rat or something?"
"Look!" Marla yelled, pointing at the whiteboard.
Sandra turned and had to stifle a laugh. Unfortunately, Marla heard it and glared at her. Someone had removed Marla's photos from the whiteboard, erased the notices, and left a message in their place. The culprit wrote the words in red permanent marker. It said, "Peace out, bitch! – Keisha."
***
Hailey and Barb didn't make Felicia go to Bledsoe's office with them, and Barb claimed she was going under duress. Felicia's absence was for the best because Barb felt nervous enough sitting in front of the dean of Harrison University.
David Bledsoe ran a hand over his rapidly graying brown hair and stared at the girls with the same look Barb had earlier. Barb almost spoke up and told him not to expect a punchline. "I'm sorry, girls. You'll have to wait until the spring. There's not enough time."
"Mr. Bledsoe..." Hailey began, but he raised his hand to stop her.
"Dean Bledsoe!"
"Sorry, Dean Bledsoe. I'm worried Kennedy will change her mind if we wait. I want to do this for her. Please let us try.
"It's not possible."
"If I fail, I'll wait until the spring. All I'm asking is for a chance to pull it off. You have an opening on the girls' club side. What will Aeternum do all semester without a sister club for joint activities?"
"We've had imbalances before. It's not the end of the world. They'll manage."
"But is that fair? You could show the school you're a fair dean," Hailey said. She wanted to add it would help his crumbling reputation, but that would have been insulting. Besides, he knew how some students felt about him.
"Fine!" he said and held up his hands. "Here's what I'm going to do. I will compromise on some requirements. If you can pull these off by, let's say, Thursday, I'll give you your charter."
"Thursday? But Rush Week lasts until Sunday!"
"Yes, and you still need time to promote your rush if you expect anyone to attend! But I can't have you promoting a rush for a club that doesn't exist yet!"
"Good point," Hailey said and slumped down in her chair. "So, what are the requirements?"
Bledsoe reached into his desk and rummaged around for some documents. After a few moments, he placed a charter template on the desk. "You'll need to fill out this charter and get the signatures of your founding members and sponsors. Normally, I would require at least fifteen founders, but that's impossible. I'll let you get by with five."
This made Hailey's eyes light up. She sat up straight again and examined the charter. "Five? Really?"
"If you consolidate the duties of your officer crew, you could function with five to start. But I warn you that starting with such low numbers puts you at risk of a short shelf life. You better grow your numbers quickly because people will graduate or leave school."
"Yes, sir. I understand," Hailey said.
As they spoke, Barb glanced at the charter. She saw the list of officers and grew curious. "Which of these five do we need?" Barb asked as she pointed at the paper.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Bledsoe studied the paper silently for a while. Barb got the feeling he had yet to think it through thoroughly. "You could get by with a President, Pledge Mom, Sergeant at Arms, Historian/Parliamentarian, and a Fundraiser/Treasurer. The Fundraiser could also function as your activities director."
"You're the Pledge Mom," Hailey said to Barb with the air of authority that comes from the obvious choice for President.
Barb opened her mouth to protest, but she found herself strangely liking the sound of it. All the other roles sounded far worse, and this one held promise. With a shrug of her shoulders, Barb turned her attention back to Bledsoe. "Okay, you're going to have to explain some of those," Barb said. "Sergeant at Arms? Is this the military?"
"They enforce the rules and hand out punishments to pledges and members if they are out of line. Plus, they are the bad cop to the pledge mom's good cop during pledging. They keep the pledges in line."
"Who are we going to find to do that?" Hailey asked under her breath.
"Hail, are you serious? I know someone perfect for that role," Barb said with a grin.
Hailey momentarily looked at her with confusion, but then it dawned on her. "Oh, no. She'd never do it. Not in a million years."
"Let me talk to her," Barb said before returning to Bledsoe. "Okay, Historian, I understand, but what's a Parliamentarian?"
"They are the keeper of your club's constitution, which you will need to write up by Thursday, by the way," Bledsoe said.
"Oh, Hailey loves rules and laws. She can write that," Barb said with a wave. She expected Hailey to protest, but she nodded her head in agreement.
"The Parliamentarian acts as a judge or a mediator when drama happens. It always happens, especially with..." Bledsoe started to say, but he paused. Barb gave him a glare that dared him to finish that sentence. "The Historian will function as your secretary as well. They will take photos, videos, notes, minutes, and such. They usually put together a video yearbook for the club at the end of the year."
"Well, we know who our Historian will be, but she will hate the Parliamentarian part," Barb said.
"We'll help her with that," Hailey replied.
"And our pick for Fundraiser goes without saying. She'll agree before we even finish asking her."
This seemed to surprise Bledsoe. He looked at them with raised eyebrows. "I thought it was only you two. Are you telling me you already have five?"
"If I can convince Shawna, then yes," Barb said.
"Shawna? Are you talking about Miss Davidson?" Bledsoe asked with a somewhat worried look.
"Yeah, is there a problem?"
"There's always a problem with her involved. I'll allow it, but keep her on a short leash," Bledsoe said with half a frown. Barb didn't care much for his attitude. This only strengthened her resolve to convince Shawna. Barb matched Bledsoe's sour look with one of her own. Hailey felt like they were having a frowning contest, so she broke the tension.
"We might be able to get more."
"By all means, do it, but you'll also need a sponsor. They must be present at all pledging activities. I normally require two. Since I promised you a compromise, I'll make it one. They have to be either alumni or a staff member. We usually consider outsiders after a vetting process, but we don't have time for that."
Barb looked at Hailey with a hopeful expression. Hailey was clear this time. She knew what Barb had in mind, but she shook her head. "Mom is too busy. Plus, she doesn't live in town. It wouldn't work, Barb." This deflated Barb. Her shoulders slumped. "Relax, I think I might know someone," Hailey said, which lifted Barb's spirits. "Okay, I think we can pull this off," Hailey said after she turned to Bledsoe again.
"Good luck."
***
"Hail, we still haven't thought of a name," Barb said as she read the charter template. Barb did this while they returned to the dorm. She had a strange ability to walk and read without running into anything. Hail watched her sister deftly maneuver around two rocks and a passing cat.
"I know, but I'll come up with something. You'll need to make some graphics for our rush. T-shirts would be nice too, but we don't have enough time."
"Now you're speaking my language," Barb said with a smile. "No problem, but I can't make a graphic without a name, so get a move on!"
"Don't rush me."
"Ha! I see what you did there," Barb said, but Hailey stared at her disapprovingly. "Never mind."
They walked a few more steps before Hailey stopped. Barb wondered if she changed her mind about the joke, but Hailey had a different reason to halt.
"You're excited about this now," Hailey said.
"Yeah, I'll admit it. You got me. Just promise me we will stick it to Marla with this new club."
"I was hoping to avoid drama. It isn't about her."
"Like hell, it isn't. Marla is the reason Kennedy almost missed out on her dream. She's also the reason Keisha is clubless. Besides, won't Marla react to a new girls' club honing in on her territory?" Barb asked, bringing a look of fear to Hailey's face.
"I never considered that."
"Relax, I didn't mean to spook you," Barb said and put an arm around Hailey. She felt her sister calm down, so she guided her toward the dorm.
After a moment of silence, Hailey spoke again. "Don't forget, you still need to talk to Shawna."
"Yeah, I know, but I'm dreading it. Do you think she'll say yes?"
"Maybe."
***
"Not gonna happen, Barbarino," Shawna said. She stared at Barb, folding her arms and shaking her head.
"Oh, come on! It will be fun."
"Do I look like the sorority type to you?"
"It's a social club."
"Same difference, except they have cheaper dues, from what I hear."
"But you get to be a Sergeant at Arms. Doesn't that sound cool?"
"Do I get to use a paddle?" Shawna asked with a hopeful smile.
"Sure."
"Awesome! Still not happening!"
"You can stick it to Marla."
"What's that? I get to stick the paddle up Marla's ass?"
"That's not what I said, but okay."
"I can stick my foot up her ass any day. Being in a social club won't change that."
Barb groaned and threw her hands up in the air. She was about to give up when a realization hit her so hard it almost knocked her over. How could she have not thought about this in the first place?
"Felicia is our Historian."
"I'M IN!!"
***
"Girl, say no more. I'm in," Keisha said after glancing at the charter for two seconds. She instantly signed her name next to the word Fundraiser.
"I was wrong. She agreed before you even said the sentence," Barb said to Hailey.
"Do you have any fundraising ideas?" Hailey asked.
"I have a list Marla rejected. You can pick whichever you want," Keisha said, scrolling through her phone. "Here, look."
Barb looked over Hailey's shoulder as they read the list. Some of them sounded good, but one caught her attention. "A Haunted House?"
"Yeah, spooky season is coming, and I noticed this small-ass city doesn't do one every year. We could make a killing."
"Sounds expensive, though. Where are we going to get what we need?" Hailey asked.
"I wanted to contact that local theatre group across town and work with them. We would have used their playhouse, but Marla called them low-rent trash. She had to work as a costume designer for them as part of some class project, and she hated it."
"They don't like Marla? Sounds like our kind of people then," Barb said with a laugh.
"Exactly!"
***
Barb approached Felicia's dorm room and hesitated to knock. She had already agreed to be the Historian despite her Parliamentarian duties. They offered to share that role as a group, which eased Felicia's worries. However, Barb hadn't dropped the bomb on her yet. It took Barb three tries before she finally tapped on the door.
"Come in," Felicia said.
This was Barb's first time in Felicia's room. She found it cozy. Felicia had gotten lucky and scored a room to herself because her roommate had dropped out before the semester started. She hadn't bothered to do anything with the empty side, but Felicia's wall seemed nice. The posters surprised Barb.
"Whoa! I like your musical tastes," Barb said with an impressed nod. "I never would have guessed you're into old-school punk."
"Oh, thanks," Felicia said. "Shawna got me hooked on those bands last year."
Barb was glad for the segue, so she seized it. "Speaking of Shawna, I need to talk to you about something." Felicia gave her a curious stare. She looked intrigued and worried. "Well, first off, I have some good news. We have five officers. Now Hailey needs to find a sponsor."
"Nice," Felicia said with a smile.
"There's just one thing, though," Barb said. She sat on the edge of Felicia's bed, across from Felicia's chair. Barb felt like a parent about to endure a difficult talk with their child. "Okay, don't freak out."
"About what?"
"You see, there was only one obvious choice for the Sergeant at Arms role."
"Oh, no."
"I didn't think she would say yes, but she did."
"Please don't tell me..."
Barb ripped the band-aid off as quickly as possible. She spoke a stream of words so hastily they became one long word. "Shawna is our Sergeant at Arms. Okay? This has been a great talk. See ya later. Bye!" Barb said, and she was out the door before hearing the response.
"WHAT!?" Felicia screamed and followed it with her loudest squeak yet.