Novels2Search
Social Anxiety
Chapter 2: Rush to Judgment

Chapter 2: Rush to Judgment

Felicia Mays sat by herself in the computer lab. It was only seven in the morning, but Felicia preferred to do her photo editing during the waking hours. There were fewer people around. Plus, she was always an early riser. Felicia sipped a cup of coffee while completing some color corrections to the photos from Welcome Week. After putting the cup down, she adjusted her glasses and returned to her task.

"Hey, Felicia, are you in here?" her friend Autumn asked, breaking the silence. Felicia jumped and emitted a high-pitched squeak. "God! Why do you make that noise when someone startles you?" Autumn asked.

"Sorry. The doctors say it has something to do with my deviated septum. I don't mean to do it."

"What are you doing?"

"Finishing this," she said while pointing at the screen.

"At seven in the morning?"

"I've been swamped lately."

"You were the one who volunteered to photograph Welcome Week."

"Yeah, I'm regretting that decision. Now, help me out here. I can't get this blue to come out right."

"Um, sweetie. That's purple."

"God, I hate being color blind!" Felicia said, throwing her hands in the air. She hit save on the photo she was working on and pulled out her flash drive. "I give up."

"Wanna go to the campus center and get breakfast before class?" Autumn asked, but Felicia's face went as white as a ghost. "Sorry. It was just a suggestion. What's up with you?"

"N-nothing. It's nothing. I've gotta go," Felicia said. She collected her bag and rushed out the door before Autumn could say anything else.

***

"Marla is psycho. I'm telling you. She might be a serial killer," Keisha said two weeks later. The intervening time until Rush Week was making her crazy. "I'm regretting ever becoming the Phi-O fundraiser. Now I have to do officer meetings every week with her!"

"Remind me why we're even attending the Phi-O rush?" Barb asked.

"You're going to be there to keep me from strangling that bitch," Keisha said. "I'm this close to quitting," she added, holding her fingers close together.

"When is it again?" Barb asked.

"This Monday at 5:00 PM. Don't be late!" Keisha said over her shoulder as she walked away.

"She's at about an 11 on the frizz level, so she's serious," Barb said once Keisha moved out of sight. Hailey groaned and shook her head, so Barb dropped it. "I'm only attending the rush for Keisha," Barb said.

"I know. Me too. Mom will be so disappointed," Hailey said.

"You haven't told her you aren't pledging Phi-O yet?"

"I'm afraid to."

"Stop being ridiculous. She has repeatedly said she doesn't care if we don't join them."

"Oh, sure. She says that, but does she mean it?"

"You're always so paranoid, Hail."

***

The worst part about going to the rush was having to dress nicely. Barb always hated to put on her Sunday best. She wasn't a fancy girl. Barb preferred casual and comfy clothes and a basic ponytail because she was a girl of simple means. Wearing her hair down made her look too much like Hailey—not that there was anything wrong with that.

Phi Omega Sigma held their rush in one of the campus center's meeting rooms. When they arrived, Barb and Hailey spotted Keisha immediately. She stood at the back of the room next to a blonde they knew had to be Marla. Plus, there was another blonde next to her. Barb guessed she must have been Marla's sister because of the resemblance. The most significant difference was the younger sister had longer hair. She looked just as enthused to be there as Barb felt.

"Oh, god. Keisha didn't lie. Marla walks like she has something up her butt," Barb said in a whisper, which made Hailey laugh. Hailey covered her mouth when she noticed Marla glance in their direction.

***

Marla and Keisha stood at the back of the room with other officers and Marla's little sister, Chloe. Chloe wasn't a member of Phi-O, but this was her year to pledge. Marla fully expected her to join their club. She had written her name down on the list already. Keisha registered Chloe's lack of enthusiasm over this idea, but Marla never listened to Chloe. While Keisha observed this, Marla glanced around the room at the girls who had already arrived. Keisha figured Marla was silently judging everyone.

"Who is that wallflower over there?" Marla asked, gesturing at Felicia. She appeared to be trying to meld into the wall behind her. Another prospective pledge talked to her, but Felicia seemed oblivious.

"I can't remember her name, but she works for the yearbook," Keisha said.

"Is she here to take pictures? I don't see a camera."

"She has a name tag. That girl is rushing."

This made Marla laugh, but it sounded empty and fake. "She looks scared of her own shadow. That girl wouldn't even make it through Bid Night."

"Should I tell her to leave?" Sandra Klein, Marla's vice president, asked.

"No. She amuses me. Let her stay until I say differently," Marla said with a smirk. "Oh, now this one has to be a joke. Who invited their mother?" Marla asked, pointing at an older-looking woman with shoulder-length dark brown hair.

"She also has a name tag," Keisha said.

"Her!? She looks 40! I'm not letting someone old enough to be my mom pledge Phi-O," Marla said. The woman looked in their direction because Marla made no attempt to remain quiet. Then Marla turned to Keisha and said, "I realize you are friends with that freak at the ice cream counter, but if she steps one foot in here..."

"You don't have to worry about that. Trust me."

"Good. Okay, who are the matchsticks?"

"Matchsticks?" Keisha asked in confusion.

"Those ginger girls," Marla said as she pointed at Barb and Hailey. "Skinny as twigs with bright red tops. Matchsticks!"

"Oh, they're legacies. That's Barbara and Hailey. Their mom was a Phi-O. Linda Jennings."

"Never heard of her, but I'll at least talk to them. Oh, great. Claudia is here. I thought we told her no."

"You know her. She's stubborn," Sandra whispered in Marla's ear.

Keisha knew nothing about Claudia but liked her because Marla disliked her.

"And who is the little Japanese girl?"

"She's Korean. That's Hana," Keisha answered.

"Same difference."

"Are you..." Keisha began, but Marla's icy stare stopped her. "Sorry, ma'am," Keisha said instead.

"Good. You're learning."

***

Kennedy McCoy was talking to Barb and Hailey when she heard Marla from across the room.

"Her!? She looks 40! I'm not letting someone old enough to be my mom pledge Phi-O."

She paused to listen before facing Barb and Hailey again. A small tear rolled down her cheek.

"Ignore her," Barb said and rubbed her arm.

"No, it's okay. I understand. This was a stupid idea. I'm 39, so I shouldn't be trying to reclaim my youth."

"Nonsense. I admire the fact you went to college later in life. If you want the social club experience, get it. Just don't go Phi-O," Hailey said.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"Let's be honest. None of these clubs will take someone old enough to be their mom. It's weird. I should leave." Kennedy turned to exit, but Barb stopped her.

"Give me your phone number. If you are ever looking for some friends, we're your girls."

"Thank you," she said with a warm smile. Kennedy exchanged numbers with Barb before leaving.

Once they finished, Barb spotted Keisha heading their way with an expression of barely contained fury. Unfortunately, she wasn't alone. Marla was by her side.

"Marla Knox," Marla said as she extended a hand. Barb and Hailey shook it, but Barb didn't like Marla's cold hands.

"Barbara Conrad."

"Hailey Conrad."

"Pleasure," was all Marla said. It wasn't even a complete sentence, and Barb sensed no pleasure. "I hear your mother was in Phi-O."

"Yes, she was," Hailey said, keeping her sentences as short as Marla's. Barb let Hailey do the talking because she barely wanted to be there and had no intention of pledging.

"What pledge class?"

"1999."

"Helen might remember her. I'll ask about her later," Marla said, referring to the Phi-O sponsor, Helen Stevenson. Hailey got the feeling Marla would conveniently forget to have that conversation. Not that it mattered. Hailey wasn't going to join them. "So what could you bring to Phi Omega Sigma?"

"Excuse me?" Hailey asked.

"What would you bring to the table if you pledged?" Marla said, and she couldn't hide the impatience in her voice this time.

"Oh, I'm still not sure I'm going to..."

"And what about you?" Marla asked Barb, cutting off Hailey because she realized she wasn't interested.

"I'm just here for moral support."

"What an incredible waste of time," Marla muttered loudly enough for people ten feet away to catch every word. Barb saw Keisha wince when Marla said this. She flinched again when Marla turned toward her with a look of frustration. "Lovely friends you have here. Are any others coming?"

"Yes, there are more here right now."

"Are they going to waste my time?"

"They just want to learn more before they decide."

"I have a room full of girls who seem more interested. Let's talk to them instead," Marla said, walking away without bothering with a goodbye.

Keisha finally broke away twenty minutes later. Barb noticed her frizz level had reached its maximum expansion. When she pointed this out to Hailey, she rolled her eyes.

"That's it," Keisha said when she rejoined Barb and Hailey. "I'm resigning as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I don't blame you for not wanting to be an officer with her," Hailey said, patting Keisha on the arm.

"No, I mean from the club. I'm quitting. This isn't your mama's club anymore. Hell, this isn't even the club I pledged. Marla has ruined everything. I already told Hana to avoid this at all costs."

"Are you serious?" Barb asked.

"I can't do this anymore. She sapped all the fun out of it. I'll never forgive her for this," Keisha said, directing one last glare at the back of Marla's head. "Now I'm gonna return to my apartment and get the hell out of here. Thank you for enduring this with me. You two are saints."

Once Keisha left, Barb and Hailey started to head home, but Barb noticed someone across the room. She spotted a familiar-looking brunette who seemed too nervous to be there but also too scared to leave. "Hey. I think I know that girl. I almost ran her over a while back. I should rescue her from this hell hole. Do you mind if I go?"

"Go for it. I'll meet you back at the dorm."

Barb walked over to Felicia, who didn't notice Barb's approach. Felicia jumped when Barb touched her arm. "There it is again. What's that noise?" Barb asked.

"It's me," Felicia said, waving timidly. "I squeak when someone startles me."

"It's cute."

"No, it's not. It's annoying. I know."

"Stop that! It's not. And I'm Barb."

"Felicia."

"You look like you don't want to be here anymore than I do. What made you decide to pledge?"

"My mom thinks it will help me break out of my shell," Felicia said.

"There's got to be a better way. Tell you what. Stick with me, and I'll get you out of your shell." With this said, Barb hooked arms with Felicia and walked her toward the door. "What do you say we get out of here? Hey, do you want to get some ice cream?" Barb asked, but Felicia stopped. She was oddly heavy for such a small girl. Barb thought her arm might yank out of its socket. "Is something wrong?"

"Um, did you want to go to Gaskins?" Felicia asked.

"Don't be silly. Gaskins is across town! There's an ice cream shop here in the campus center."

"I know, but..."

"What is it?"

"The girl at the ice cream counter makes me nervous," Felicia whispered.

"Shawna? Don't be ridiculous. She's awesome. Don't judge a book by its cover. Shawna is a sweetheart."

"Oh, I know. I had classes with her last year."

"Then why does she make you nervous?"

"It's a long story."

"I guess we could go somewhere else," Barb said, doing a poor job hiding her disappointment.

Felicia noticed and looked even more worried. Barb felt Felicia didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with her new friend. "No, we can go to the ice cream counter if you want. It's fine," Felicia said.

Barb sighed long and hard before smiling at Felicia. She hooked her arm again and said, "Relax. I'll do most of the talking." Felicia released her breath and let Barb drag her to the food court. Shawna was having a tense conversation with a football player when they arrived, which didn't help matters. Felicia inched behind Barb's back and hid there.

"Tony, I told you already. We don't have any Cherry Chip left!" Shawna said, with her arms folded.

"Shawna, you didn't even look!"

"Because I already looked when I got here! Now, pick something else. There are other people in line," Shawna said and turned to look. Shawna's face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw who was there. Barb had never seen someone go from angry to overjoyed so quickly. It alarmed her. But the thing was, Shawna wasn't looking at Barb. She was glancing at the timid face peeking around Barb's shoulder. The moment passed, and Shawna turned back to Tony before continuing. "What do you want?"

"Rocky Road."

"Good boy," Shawna said and rang up his order. After he left, she turned to Barb. "Barbarian! Looking nice. Why are you all dressed up?" Shawna asked, and Barb pointed at her name tag. Shawna frowned, saying, "Don't tell me they roped you into that."

"I was just there for Keisha and my new friend here."

The look returned to Shawna's face when Barb said this. "Oh, yeah. I see you, Squeaks. I know you're there," Shawna said as she waved with one finger.

"Squeaks?" Barb asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"She likes to give people nicknames," Felicia muttered.

"I've noticed, but why--OH!" Barb said. The answer hit her halfway through the sentence. Barb held back a laugh for Felicia's sake and turned back toward Shawna.

"Hey, you two. My shift is about to end. Stick around, and we can chat over some ice cream," Shawna said. "Squeaks, I saved you a bit of your favorite. We were running low, so I kept a bowl for you," Shawna added, grabbing a bowl of ice cream from the freezer.

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting together at a table. Felicia ate in silence while Barb and Shawna talked. She only looked up from her ice cream if they addressed her directly.

"We were computer buddies when we had the same class last year. I taught her how to hack the school's Wi-Fi," Shawna said, playfully nudging Felicia.

"Oh, I never actually used the knowledge," Felicia added as if worried Barb would judge her.

"She's being modest," Shawna said with a laugh and a wave, but then she spotted something that changed the subject. "Squeaks, what's this?" Shawna asked, pointing at Felicia's name tag. "Are you pledging this year?"

"Um, I don't know. Mom said it would help me break out of my shell."

"Your mom drives me crazy. Look, you don't need that crap. Stick with Barbie..."

"NO!" Barb said, which made Shawna jump and Felicia squeak. "I like the nicknames, but that's the one I don't tolerate. No Barbie!" Barb said, pointing a threatening finger at Shawna.

"Yes, ma'am," Shawna said with a salute. "Anyways, stick with Barb and I, and we'll break that shell. No problem," Shawna said and gave Felicia the sweetest smile. "We should do karaoke! Wait until you hear Fel sing. She has a beautiful voice."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do," Shawna said. "I convinced her to sing along with the radio while we were in the car together. Almost brought a tear to my eye."

"Yeah, because it was so bad," Felicia muttered.

"Please stop that. You're too hard on yourself," Shawna said in a surprisingly soft voice. She looked at Felicia with frustration and sadness, tugging on Barb's heart a little.

"Sorry," Felicia said, and she made eye contact with Shawna for the first time since they sat down. It lasted momentarily, but Barb saw Shawna's expression return to a large smile.

***

Hailey walked down the steps of the campus center and turned toward her dorm. She was ready to remove her dress shoes because her feet hurt, but she spotted someone out of the corner of her eye. It was Kennedy. She sat against a nearby wall, smoking a cigarette.

"Kennedy," Hailey said, and Kennedy turned to look at her.

"Oh, hi. Barb, was it?"

"No. That's my sister. I'm Hailey."

"I'm sorry. Names aren't my strong suit. Age is getting to me," Kennedy said, pointing at her head.

"Is it okay if I sit?" Hailey asked.

"Sure, as long as the smoke won't bother you. It's a nasty habit. I know."

"My dad and grandmother smoked all the time when I was little. I'm used to it," Hailey said, sitting beside Kennedy.

"So, how was the rest of that rush?"

"Not great. I won't pledge them, and my friend Keisha just quit the club."

"I'm glad I left then."

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you go to college this late in life?"

"Easy there, kid. What do you mean by this late in life?"

"Oh, I didn't mean any offense!"

"Relax, I'm fucking with you," Kennedy said with a laugh. Her laughter increased when she saw Hailey's reaction to her language. "I got a divorce, so I had too much time on my hands. Why not go to college? I wanted to do it earlier but put it aside when I got married."

"How do your kids feel about this?"

Kennedy didn't answer at first. Her smile faded, and she took a few puffs from her cigarette before speaking. "Don't have any kids. I'm unable to."

"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. You couldn't have known."

"But I should have thought about that possibility before asking."

"You can't think of everything, sweetie. None of us can," Kennedy said, smoking the cigarette down to its end before flicking it into a nearby trashcan.

"Nice shot," Hailey said when Kennedy landed it in the can.

"Yeah, I played a few sports back in my day. Probably should have snuffed that out before I did that. Will that start a fire?" The question made Hailey's eyes widen with fright, so Kennedy laughed.

"Do you still want to pledge?" Hailey asked.

"It would be nice. I came to college to get the full experience, including joining a sorority. But like I said before, none of these clubs will take an old biddy like me."

"An old what?"

"It's a phrase from before your time. Don't worry about it. Hell, it's from before even my time, but I like how it sounds."

"Fair enough," Hailey said with a chuckle. "Delta Delta would have taken you, but they folded last year. They had a member who was in their 30s."

"Why did they fold?"

"Dwindling numbers. I liked them. They were nice. Kinda sucks for Aeternum. They were Delta's brother club."

"Aeternum?"

"It's the Latin word for eternity."

"Clubs can have Latin names here?"

"Harrison is a private college. These are social clubs instead of fraternities and sororities. They aren't part of the national fraternity or sorority groups. We can call them whatever we want as long as a national fraternity or sorority doesn't have the name."

"It sounds cool."

"Yeah, and they're a good group of guys, so that's why it sucks for them. Delta Delta going away left a hole on..." Hailey started to say, but she stopped in the middle of her sentence and sat bolt upright. Her eyes became unfocused as if she was staring at something far away.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, something is right," she muttered. "I think I know a way you can pledge."

"Okay. What is it?"

"We can start a new club! There's an opening on the girls' side!"

"Isn't it a bit late to..." Kennedy began, but Hailey stood up so quickly she cut her off in mid-thought.

"I'm sorry, but I gotta go. We'll talk tomorrow!" Hailey said, running toward her dorm.

"Oh, okay. See ya."