Nitiri's scream echoed in her ears as the rift consumed her. She fell, surrounded by snapshots of frozen moments in time. It was like looking through a scrapbook of her life flying past. Her stomach lurched as she studied them all.

So much blood, misery, and death, she thought with abhorrence. Why did all of this happen? Why did things have to turn out the way they did? I wish I could reset everything.

As if in response to her wishes, she felt a tug, and her downward plunge shifted. She passed by countless nightmarishly twisted memories and struggled to avert her gaze. Abruptly, one memory appeared below her. She recognized it immediately.

“No. Anywhere but there. Please, not again,” she begged, but the rift didn’t heed her pleas. The fragment of her past consumed her whole, like the jowls of a waiting beast.

A dark hallway stretched before her. She took in a deep lungful of crisp air and exhaled a tiny cloud of condensation. Ahead of Nitiri, a teenage boy and girl crept down the hall. Their fingers intertwined as the girl leaned into his broad shoulder. It only took a second for Nitiri to realize she was watching herself and Cade. In less than an hour, her entire life would be in shambles, but her blissfully ignorant youthful copy carried on. Fresh tears filled her eyes, and she pressed herself against the wall as the teenagers disappeared around the corner.

Why did I have to end up here? I don’t think I can watch myself go mad with grief. Experiencing it the first time was bad enough. Watching myself go through it sounds like the most perverse form of torture imaginable. I deserve no better, though. I have done unspeakable things, she reminded herself. Maybe I am dead, and this is my own personal hell.

Hot tears spilled down her cheeks, and she rested her head against the cold stone wall. That was when she spotted her little brother hurrying past. She started to follow him, unsure of her intentions. She’d already killed him once and was starting to regret that decision. He was slowly making his way to her parents’ chamber, but his eyes were full of tears.

“Why will Daddy not listen? He kept telling me to wait until after sissy’s party, but then he went to bed. What should I do? She is going to leave, but Daddy hates being woken up. What should I do?” he moaned to himself.

Her brother unexpectedly stopped and turned around, aware of Nitiri’s presence. His eyes widened, but before he could make a noise, she held up her palm and uttered the sleeping dart command. His eyes rolled into his head, and he collapsed on the floor with a dull thump.

“Sorry, Simon, but it is time I took things into my own hands,” Nitiri said, a hard edge in her tone.

There. Now we will escape, and we’ll live happily in exile.

The silly dream faded quickly. Her father would track her down. With all his resources, he’d find her, and everything would happen exactly as it had. Her life would still be ruined. Anger filled her, but for the first time, it wasn’t directed at her brother. Simon didn’t understand what a monster their father was. He was simply trying to stop his older sister from abandoning him. She blamed him for decades, because he was the only one left to blame. Her father was the real criminal. He was the one who killed Cade and exiled her to a life of solitude, where her longing and bitter loneliness drove her crazy. Even with her brother out of the equation, her father would find a way to kill the man she loved, take the throne she deserved, and murder the friends she had in the Rhai Cudd. He was the only real devil in Lur Alava.

But she could fix everything.

Nitiri quickly made her way toward her parents’ bedchambers with a new sense of purpose in her gait. As she expected, there were two guards standing outside the chamber. One was dozing off while the other was keeping watch, although his eyelids were growing heavy. Nitiri decided to help him along.

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“Ŵarņ slet ijine.”

The dart hit him before he could cry out in surprise, and he fell to the ground. She repeated the command on the other guard for good measure. She stepped over their bodies, retrieved a weapon, and entered the dark royal chamber. She felt calm, but the dagger was quivering in her hand.

This is no time to find my conscience.

She heard deep snores coming from the far corner of the room where her father lay. Her mother slept in a separate bed across the chamber because of the racket her father made at night. Nitiri could see the small lump under the covers outlining her mother’s slumbering body in the dim moonlight. Her father, on the other hand, looked like a beached walrus under his thick blanket. He was lying on his back, his arms spread wide to either side of him. His expression was contorted in a scowl, but as far as Nitiri knew, it was his only expression.

This is the man who ruined my life. This is the man who called me a disgrace because I was born a woman. This is the man who turned me into a monster, she thought, trying to stoke the flames of fury that were her constant companions for decades.

Nitiri didn’t feel angry anymore, though. She felt empty and hollow. Her heart ached from the constant anguish. She just wanted her suffering to end. She took a step away from her father and turned toward the window.

I am so…exhausted.

She thought about leaving. She could wander away into the endless fields of snow. She could rest and let the ice finally claim her soul. It was a fitting end for someone who’d been frozen since the age of eighteen.

Nothing would change. All the death and destruction would repeat. If I walk away, Terrin and Elurra’s lives will be destroyed. Iara, Cade, and Simon will die. The Demons will murder innocent people and my wrath will tear this world apart. This is not about me anymore. I do not deserve happiness, but my brother and my niece do.

She spun around and studied the king again, her mind whirring.

One more murder, and all the others will be erased. I’m already beyond hope. What is one more bloodstain on my crimson soul?

Her hand shook as she pulled back the dagger, but the tremble was due to excitement. She plunged the blade downward. The king choked, gasped, and moaned, but a few more stabs made sure his breathing finally stopped.

Nitiri let go of the hilt and took a few steps back. It was too dark to see what she’d done. Her shadow fell across the bed, obscuring her final act in a blanket of darkness. Her entire body was trembling, and she had to cover her mouth to hold in her sobs. It was finished. Everything would be different. She turned away and quickly left the room without inspecting her handiwork. She walked through the halls, numb, avoiding the many remaining partygoers by cutting through the servants’ tunnels until she emerged outside under the light of the moons. She looked down to find her hands were dripping with blood. She was tainted.

Bloodied. Unclean. Despicable.

Her tears dropped into the snow at her feet. She slowly put one foot in front of the other, and her sense of time vanished as she wandered through the snow. Eventually, she reached the edge of the cliffs. She stared out over the turbulent sea below as clouds covered the moons and gave way to a gray dawn. She wasn’t sure how long she stood on the edge, gazing into the abyss. The wind whipped her hair, and she noticed her fingers and toes were numb. Cries of alarm and loud gongs echoed across the fields of ice from the distant castle.

They found him.

Then the rain began. A few drops fell at first, but the heavens quickly opened, and a downpour ensued. Nitiri looked down at her hand and watched the dried blood wash away. She smiled, but it was humorless.

The last time I was in this rain, I became a heartless monster.

As the droplets soaked through her clothes, she began to feel lighter, like a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. She tilted her head up to the sky and let the rain cleanse her regrets and past evils. The snow and ice melted around her, taking the king’s blood with it.

Goodbye, Cade. I have always loved you, and I always will. Goodbye, Simon. I hope you find happiness now that your life will not be shadowed with fear. Goodbye, Elurra. Thank you for saving me when I was unsavable and reminding me of who I once was. I hope this final gift will be enough to correct all the wrongs I have committed.

She took a step forward, and suddenly she was falling, although she felt like she was flying. Nitiri extended her arms, and a large smile spread across her face. She was free. She opened her eyes and saw the ocean rushing toward her. A playful grin spread across her face as she remembered wishing to learn to swim. She never did, but it didn’t matter anymore. She was content with meeting the roiling depths for the first and last time.

She closed her eyes again and waited for the sea’s cold embrace to claim her.