Unknown
Out in a pocket dimension between time and space where nothing affected the outside world, and likewise, nothing in the outside world would affect this world. In it, two figures stood side by side.
The first was a tall man with pearly white marble-like skin, long jet black hair that went down to his back. His eyes were pools of black with small white star-like bits in them as if the very universe were his eyes. He was dressed in only a large oversized black cloak that acted like it had a mind of its own, moving around the man's form.
The second was a small petite brown-skinned girl, with buzz-cut white hair kept under the white hood of a white leather raincoat with black buttons running down its center, her eyes were glowing orbs of white akin those of a wise sage, but she kept a constant dull and bored look on her face.
"Hello! Hello! Lovely Reader! I'm not Donkishin, but you can call my Nihil! Nihil, The Everything! To be exact!" Nihil introduced himself to you in an overly bright tone, and a goofy smile on his face that went from ear to ear then slapped the back of his smaller companion. "And this is Nia, the Nothing!"
"...I am Omnia, the Nothing..." Omnia corrected in a low monotone voice and cold expression. "...And do not touch me, fool..." Once she said that the arm Nihil used to slap her back was ripped from its socket with passion fruit juice shooting out like a hose. "Not done." The arm was then used to clocked Nihil right in the jaw. WAh!" literally taking his head for a spin.
"WEEEEEE!" Nihil cheered as his head spun around and around. "ACK!" Until he came to a stop with his eyes and mouth switching places. "Again! Again! Again!" And so he slapped himself to send his head spinning again.
"..." Omnia was just holding a glass cup up to the waterfall of juice that was pouring of Nihil. "Can we get on with this?" She asked, drink her juice then offered you some. "Don't worry. It's naturally sweetened."
"Sure!" Nihil's head suddenly stopped on a dim with his face now back in place and snapped his arm back on then pulled out a blank sheet of white paper. "Today we are coming to you live from the world of...ugh? Climax?" He squinted at the paper then held it to Omnia.
"Yes...we are here to give the results of a character poll that took place a month ago..." Omnia explained as the paper turned black under her gaze. "...Also, do not pay us much mind we do not matter...just enjoy the laughs..."
"Hey! No fair! Why are you giving her extra shit!" Nihil pulled the paper back and yelled up at the void...but nothing happened. "Do not ignore me! I live off of attention! You know that!" Still nothing from the void. "Fuck you! Dad!"
"...In 3rd place, we have a tie between Rena, Nature's Princess, Nash, The Horse, and The Bandits Trio..." Omnia ignored Nihil's complaining and got a move on with things, finishing her juice off. "You need to eat more meat..." She poured out the juice and ate the glass itself. "That's much better..." Then she turned to you. "Do not worry. It is safe, the juice I mean do not eat glass that is very idiotic."
Once she called out the winners, they all appeared standing on the left side of a winners podium. The Bandit Trio were all in black suits worth far more than all the loot they had stolen over the years. Nash had a black cooler over his back that had gold trimming. Finally, Rena was in a forest green dress more elegant than her usual one and around all of their necks was a bronze medal.
"Hey! Look at that! Someone likes us, boys!" The boss of the bandit held up his medal and clanged it with his boys.
"?" Nash just looked at his medal and blew out some air from his nose what was this going to do for him? "..." Then he stared at Nihil.
"Oh! Right here!" Out of Nihil's cloak came a basket of apples for the horse.
"Really! 3rd! Me!? The great Renaissance!? Beautiful! Powerful! And cute to boot! And I only got 3rd! I want a recall! NOW!" Rena flew right into Omnia's face, screaming in the girl's face. "And you too!" She suddenly yelled at you for doing a better job. "And I don't care if this doesn't matter, I important!"
"What is done is done...better luck next time," Omnia told Rena off then the Fairy got trapped in a sound-proof glass box and set her down next to the other bronze medalists. "Next in 2nd place, we have another tie with our Main character Blake, The Smith-Knight and the lead girl Risabeel, The Demon sword." She paused after another sheet of paper came to her face. "Woo..." She cheered unethically after reading the note. "Never make me do that again."
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"Bullshit!" Rena screamed from her box but no one heard her, so the others just clapped, and Nash stomped his hooves.
"Whoa!" Blake appeared standing on the right side of the podium, dressed in a fancy red suit, with a silver crown on the side of his head. "2nd place, huh? Not baaaaaaaa-" His mind went blank as...
...Risabeel magical appeared out of misty darkness, dressed in a large ballroom dress that started as a bright purple but turned darker into black as it went down to the bottom with long black gloves, a purple shawl around herself and the same sliver crown as Blake.
"Thank you for your votes kind sirs and madames." Risabeel bowed as a roar of cheers and applause came forth from the void. "Hmm? What is the matter, Sir Blake?" After coming back up from her bow, Risabeel turned to Blake.
"Nothing..." Blake just kept gazing at her with the only word in his mind being 'perfect.' "But? Uh, I guess we're a match, right?" He held out a hand to her.
"Hey, can I get the last one?" Nihil whispered to Omnia with a mouth on his hand. "Oh?" And in front of his face came a text box that read:
I got this, my dude!
"...Yes, I believe we are, Sir Blake." Risabeel ranched out to Blake's hand. "AH!" Only to get a jewel-encrusted scepter thrown at her head, knocking her down to the invisible floor.
"Back away from my brother! You Demon homewrecker!" Mari yelled at Risabeel as she was sitting on a massive throne that was twice as big as the podium. She was wearing a strapless orange dress with a waterfall of ruffles as a skirt, on her back was a red fur-lined cape with a golden 'M' on it. A gold necklace was around her neck, on each of her fingers was a ring with gemstones in each of them, finally floating above her head was a gold crown glowing with the radiance of the sun.
"Mari, be nice..." Blake looked up at his sister on her throne, which he was happy for her but hitting Risabeel was still a bad thing.
"Be quiet! I am the people's queen and get to do what I want!" Mari jumped off her throne and landed standing on Blake's shoulders. "Now hit it, Donkishin!" She cheered with her arms crossed over her small chest.
And from around the throne shot out a set of fireworks that went up high into the void then exploded in a fantastic display showing Mari's face in different expressions as a sick guitar riff came with it until the firework finally came to an end with.
~Winner of the first ever Smith-Knight character poll!~
~Mari, The Little sister!~
~Thanks for the votes and may she reign over all of you!~
"Oooooh! Aaaaaah!" Nihil stared up at the fireworks until they died down. "Man, you are good!" He spoke to no one but felt a light pat on his head from an invisible force. "Hah! In your face bitch, he likes me!"
"Why would that matter?" Omnia muttered with a roll of her eyes, which caused Ni's arms and legs to switch place.
"I love you too! Happy thanks taking!" Nihil clapped his feet together, and a torrent of tar, feathers, oil, and fire came down on Omnia, turning her into a giant cooked turkey. "You know? You could play along with me, sometimes?" He turned slowly to his right where Omnia was perfectly fine.
"Then it wouldn't be any fun for you..." Omnia told Nihil off then with just a clap of her hands the poll winners, throne, and podium were all gone, and now the two were on a small baren island out in the middle of a vast ocean, the only things on the island were a wooden table and three chairs. "Now, where were we before that waste of time...?" She took the seat on the left side of the table.
"Oh? Come on! It wasn't that bad!" Nihil appeared like a ghost in the right seat facing Omnia with a smile. "Now then, let's play!" He slammed his hands down on the table, causing a chessboard to come up, but the pieces were all wrong, on Nihil's side there were Checkers, action figures, Risk, and Go pieces. "Your move!"
"Hmm?" Over on Omnia's side, there were Shogi, Battleships, Mahjong, and the Monopoly Iron. "This should work..." She grabbed a game controller, and one of her Shogi pieces turned into a fighter jet that fired at one of Nihil's Risk soldiers with a mini-nuke.
"What is that pay to win bullshit!" Nihil yelled as he marked down Omnia's points on a crossword puzzle in blood, not his but yours. "Here! Take this!" He activated a spell card from his hand by tributing one of his skeletons action figures and made one of Omnia's battleship turn into a fire rat.
"Says the one who is using new game plus skills," Omnia muttered as the fire rat burned both herself and Nihil of 1 coin and planned out her next move.
"Hah! It isn't my fault the developer wanted to lock the best items behind time-based shit! Seriously! Why can't I just grind out my levels like a real RPG! None of this 'balls of steel' or 'prince charming' crap! Those stats don't even help in a fight!" Nihil nagged as he watched Omnia convert some of his Go pieces to the church of F.S.M. "Shit! I knew I should have raised their Faith..."
"If you did then I already had a plan," Omnia warned, picking up a set of dice and rolled a ghost, a beer, and a 9mm. "...Darn." Her iron grew legs then kicked one of her mahjong at her face. "4 and a half hotdogs to you..."
"Heh! Man, the 6497th edition is so cool!" Nihil cheered, so close to winning this game. "Eh?" But then both he and Omnia looked at the 3rd seat that was looking over the game. "Huh? Time's up? What do you mean?"
"He means what he means, fool," Omnia told Nihil and waited for something
Nihil just titled his head to one side. "The fuck does that me-
End